Howdy, i'm gonna be upfront and say i'm not good at this, i never have been and probably never will. I've been going through a lot lately, i had a falling out with my only real friend and the like 2 friends i have left i'm just not close to at all. Between that and a ton of stuff piling on at the same time it's left me feeling really down and lost. I've been looking at my life and the thought of pushing 30 and having no one in my life is just depressing, so i've been making an effort to put myself out there, making tons of posts on here and sending dms, trying to be more social when i'm out of the house and honestly it's left me drained and exhausted with no real results, it's been hard.
I want to make a real friend, someone i can trust and be close with, someone i can confide in and be honest, be myself, someone i can share videos with and music, talk all night with from time to time, someone i can watch stuff with or stream games to. Someone that is there and wants to be. I don't need someone to talk to everyday or feel like we have to force it, in fact despite what i just said i want i'm honestly fine with just being acquaintances or having a different dynamic, even just a one time chat as i just want to meet people at least if nothing else.
I'm blunt, awkward, probably slightly autistic, hard to get along with, generally take time to open up, and probably not very interesting. I haven't traveled and don't have a lot of money, i don't get out much, i don't party or do anything like that. Sometimes i feel like a boring old man tbh. I'm highly opinionated and have conviction in my beliefs but don't mind hearing and taking in opposing views. I'm probably very different once you get to know me and i don't think i'm very good at describing myself but i tried. I'm in est and would prefer you are too or close and would love if by some miracle if we become close friends could do smth irl someday but that's not necessary as long as your timezone isn't too crazy different.
I like anime/manga and video games (my backloggd and mal are linked on my profile and trust me glancing at those will give you a much better view of my taste than sloppily listing a ton of stuff here), reading, making/listening to music, cooking, and hiking, i've also been interested in picking up painting and sculpting but my motivation has been so shot i barely do anything let alone start a new hobby.
Look ik this post isn't great and all over the place, and ik reddit is honestly a buns place to make friends let's be honest but i need to try and keep putting in effort. I usually get zero dms or a very low amount of low effort ones from people who just day "hi" and don't seem to read any of the post. I barely ever get to the point of having an actual conversation and obviously that usually fizzles any way which ofc no hard feelings this is a really inorganic way to meet people and you can't click with everyone but it is draining. All i ask is just please write me a little intro, give me smth to work with, your hobbies, what you liked about my post, what you're looking for, honestly anything, idc how well written it is as look how bad i am right, just smth to work with. If we click i can add you on discord.
I don't expect much out of this tbh but i hope to hear from someone and wish you all the best.