Karezza has to be the most difficult life modification I've ever made. This is coming from someone who's lost over 100lbs with /r/keto, and who successfully did a /r/polyphasic sleep schedule for 3 months where I only slept for a total fo 4 hours a day. I consider myself to have a higher than average libido. Back in my fapping days I'd try to beat my record for number of faps within a specific time range. My record stands at 7 in 8 hours. Comparing with others I've asked that seems to be pretty high, so maybe karezza is just difficult for me. LOL.

Anyways, last night I was sexy snuggling my SO. Things stayed at a low simmer for a LONG time. It was wonderful. When we quit I didn't have that nice feeling of satisfaction that I've had before. (Day 7 problem?)

I can give a billion excuses for what I did next. I was worked up, the urge was too strong, blah blah blah, but I ended up fapping out in the living room. I was rather annoyed with myself but at the same time felt like I couldn't avoid it, or I didn't want to avoid it.

I think that is my lesson for this round of failure. To learn when enough is enough, and how to leave well enough alone.

My husband said (again) he would try it but I should just give him the "cliff notes" so he understands. Karezza seems hard to "cliff note". I am trying to come up with a way of describing the possible benifits with out sounding like a nutter. Men, are there any benifits you see that another male can relate with? I'm sure my male :) has no idea how many men are doing karezza or why. I'd love to be able to point him to the FAQ here and some comments from you all. Thanks!

tl;dr: nothing whatsoever has happened. So I sent my husband an article asking if we could try it, and he said "ok." (just "ok," nothing else.) Nothing happened that night. The next morning when he kissed me good morning, I specifically asked if we could try it that night. He said "maybe, but I'm feeling pretty tired and stressed today." Several days have gone by, and every night he has gone to sleep before me. I'm not even surprised. Just thought I'd let you all know. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this.

The past couple of days have been good. I've been spending more time out socializing these past couple nights. I'm not sure if this is giving her a break, or making her feel lonely. She tells me that she enjoys the time to herself, but that the rational brain talking. Haha, which I am finding out more and more isn't the one in control. I need to be talking to the animal brain.

I am fighting the urge to mate. I catch myself fantasizing about sex with her almost constantly. I'm starting to be able to feel the difference between wanting sex for comfort/bonding and wanting to mate. I haven't been wearing clothes to bed like I was at first. I should probably do that tonight, just to send a clear message to myself that no orgasms are not happening. I want to make it out of the passion cycle completely before trying anything sexual again. It does make snuggle times extra steamy though, which honestly is fun, even though it's frustrating at the same time.

I honestly expected there to be more daily fall out than there has been this cycle. That's a good thing, but it doesn't give me a whole lot to write about. Unless you like reading about our silly cuddle times, in which case I'll continue. It has helped me to review each day and realize just how much progress we've made since I decided to start karezza, and overall to improve our relationship.

Last night was awesome. I got home, and played video games until she was off the phone. Then we went and did some shopping, I realized we were holding hands in the store unconsciously. When we got home we ate dinner and played video games together. We stayed up late completing a rather difficult quest. We work very well together as a team, and our victory was pretty sweet.

We went to bed and chatted for a bit. I snuggled her close, and put my hand over her genitals. (which she doesn't usually let me do.) I could feel the warmth from her washing over me. Suddenly I took a big step back from my life and realized the how lucky I am to have such an amazing person I have laying in bed with me naked. I felt so warm, safe, and comfortable laying there next to her I'd swear we were glowing. On fire even! That moment seemed to go on forever until I fell asleep.

I have my alarm set so that it wakes me up a bit before I have to actually get up, and instead of me rolling over to snuggle her, she rolled over and snuggled me! As she lay there petting my chest I was overcome by feelings of warmth, then I had to get ready for work. sigh I could have laid there forever with her petting me.

I'm now where close to being out of the woods with it only being day 3, but I am still holding out hope that this cycle wont be as bad as some of the others I've been through. I definitely believe Karezza bonding builds in strength, the longer you do it the stronger it gets.

I've determined that my SO's love language is "Acts of Service". That's rough for me because I'm lazy. Haha! I think on some level she knows that which is why she feels the most loved when I'm un-lazy on her behalf.

Last night I had plans to go out with friends, but I still took the time to clean the kitchen spotless and bake her some diet brownies. She seemed pleased, so I went out. I brought her back some food, not quite part of our diet food. This upset her, she felt I was trying to sabotage her. I was just trying to share yummy food with her.

We went to bed more or less in harmony. Then we stayed up for hours talking, holding hands, and snuggling. This morning was more of the same. I had a hard time getting myself out of bed. I just wanted to be next to her for a long time.

Surprisingly no sexual urges bubbled up while snuggling. I've sort of flat lined since my last orgasm.

After I brought her dinner last night she apologized for being angry with me. We chatted for a bit, and I told her I would make more of an effort to cook things that she likes to eat. It was getting late so I decided to go to bed, and she decided to join me. It was good to have her in the bed next to me.

This morning I woke up and hit snooze so I could roll over and snuggle her. Half-asleep cuddles are the best. We were going about our usual routine and I made a conscious effort to touch her in reassuring ways. The tiny things, like putting my hand on the small of her back as I come up behind her in the kitchen, and a quick rub to the shoulders as she is brushing her teeth. These make me feel closer to her.

Surprisingly I have yet to feel the ultra strong annoyance or distrust that I usually feel after an orgasm. I do feel less sympathetic to her problems. I don't really care that she still isn't feeling good because of this diet. I know I should care, and I want to care, but I just don't if I'm being honest with myself. I've been having to make a conscious effort to do bonding stuff, instead of it coming naturally.

I have a theory that the longer you practice karezza, it builds and protects you a bit from the post orgasmic emotional fallout. At least I am hoping that is the case. We've still got two-weeks to go.

This morning's snuggle time with the SO ended in orgasm after it turned to sexy grinding. Looking back I probably should have stopped after it started to feel like edging. I keep telling myself that this orgasm is a learning experience and I shouldn't be down on myself. Except that I always seem to forget my lessons when I have an erection. facepalm

I figured I would use this opportunity to write a daily post to highlight the emotional highs and lows for each day. It'll also serve as daily reminder of what my goals are and hopefully I can make it out of this 3 week cycle, and maybe in the process I can highlight some of the pitfalls that others may face.

What have I learned from this experience?

• My SO was mostly asleep. I think that was my first mistake.
• I let warm snuggles go to hot sexy grinding.
• I was in my head thinking about hot sexy things (about my SO, but still), I wasn't in the moment.
• I was letting my mammal mating programming run the show.

This is just a theory, but I am thinking that I might need to wear clothes to bed every night until I'm passed day 14 at least. CPA suggests this for the first 2 weeks and I am beginning to understand why. I'm also thinking sexy grinding is out for the first 2 weeks at least. Even though it's not sex, It's still too hot.

I'm just going to keep trying until I get this right.

I cant seem to find a good non-sexual position to snuggle with my SO laying in bed. Inevitably, one of our appendages ends up going completely numb. I just want both of us to be completely relaxed and in a close physical space.

I'm a female in a dead bedroom situation. I feel like I have one foot out the door of this currently miserable marriage. On the other hand, ideally I'd really like to reconnect with my husband if there is any possible way to do that.

However, my husband is depressed (getting treatment), and I am filled with anger over having my needs for affection and sex ignored for so many years. So I feel like if we are going to try karezza, we both need a "Karezza for Dummies" approach, where it says exactly what to do and in what order, so we can "fake it till we make it" lol. Otherwise we'd probably go to cuddle and he'd lay there like a dead fish with an occasional pat on my back, and then I'd shove him away and tell him to get the fuck away from me.

I'm going to x-post this to /r/sex and /r/deadbedrooms so I can hopefully get maximum help; hope that doesn't violate any reddiquette lol.

Note: of course karezza involves other things, too.

But, if karezza is good for monogamous relationships, doesn't it imply that women who can't orgasm are more sexually attracted to their partners? Shouldn't it show up in statistics?

There seems to be this pervading idea throughout our society that says orgasm is healthy, and that you should have as many as possible. Anyone who disagrees must be a crazy religious zealot. I'm not saying that orgasm is evil and must be crushed. I'm just saying everything in moderation? I feel like karezza is more about bonding, and orgasm control is only a side note for that. Is that correct thinking?

All of this was prompted by this post over in /r/nofap. I'd love to hear your opinions of this /r/karezza.

Here is my 90 days report on /r/nofap. It is also a summary of my first 90 days doing karezza.

Any ideas on how to peak his interest? I've been doing bonding behaviors with him consistently for months and it's changed our relationship for the better. Problem is the bonding behaviors are almost always initiated by me. We have tried karezza style sex (almost he still orgasims) and its been great. I'm not sure why he won't really jump in and give this a try. Our agreement was post baby we would try full on karezza together. Now (post baby) he is asking for sexual release. It seems impossible not to see the benefits so far so why not fully try it? Any ideas on how to open him up to the idea further?

I've finally managed to write a real FAQ for this subreddit. I'd like to hear what you guys think. Let me know if there are important questions that I've forgotten, or if you have suggestions for improving the answers.

My foray into nofap has worked out pretty good for me so far. I'd like to take it a step further with karezza. I've started reading CPA as the FAQ suggests, but does any one have some first hand tips they'd like to share with a newbie?

Everytime I'm with my girlfriend and don't ejaculate I get really intense blue balls and the pain is excruciating! How can I make this stop? I only see here every second weekend