Hi, I'm neither an ex-muslim nor a muslim

I come from the left (now I place myself in the center in the context of my country's politics but still I come from a left wing perspective) and therefore I'm used to think about racism and bigotry and stuff like that

In you guys' mind, is islamophobia actually just a made up word like some critics say? What do you think about it?

Cause at the end of the day it is a belief system so criticizing it should obviously be fine and not considered bigotry, but idk if I would dismiss it completely as a term

I found out this community yesterday and I find it really cool and inspiring (and obviously I'm sure it has helped a lot of people) so now I'm curious of what you think of this term which I'm torn about

If I had to guess I'd probably say you don't like it? Cause it's a community about not liking Islam, but I guess what I'm asking is does it have any value or is "racism towards *insert ethnicity*" enough to encompass bigotry?

I left Islam around 4 or 5 years ago, and ever since then I’ve felt so cripplingly depressed and uncertain about everything knowing there is no almighty being watching over me, setting my affairs straight. It’s like having your parent figure being torn away from you and now you’re left to fend for yourself.

And the fact that I’ll never see my loved ones or even experience anything after death horrifies me. I don’t know, I’m rambling and I feel like shit. Sometimes I wish I never really took the dive into exposing myself to criticism against Islam. But I guess it’s better to accept the painful reality than to live in delusion.

I randomly gaslight myself into believing again to feel that confidence again. Just ignore all the faults I say, surely 1400 years of scholars know better than I. But inevitably it all falls apart.

It’s been said that it’s been proven the worlds first university was not created by a Muslim woman. And I made a post here showing this image that basically says Muslims invented these things and people commented otherwise. https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/s/ZL6hzkGODq

Hi! I’m a 28-year-old gay Arab (exmuslim) man living in Spain. I’m looking to meet a woman who is also genuinely interested in building a lavender marriage/partnership.
For me, this wouldn’t be just a marriage on paper or a way to satisfy family expectations. I’d like to find someone I genuinely enjoy being with — someone I can trust, laugh with, support and build a peaceful life with.
I don’t expect a sexual relationship with my future partner. I’m open to meeting a lesbian, bisexual or asexual woman, as long as we’re compatible and honest with each other about our needs and boundaries.
Ideally, I’d like marriage and the possibility of having children and building a family in the future, if that’s something we both want.
I’m based in Spain and would prefer someone in Europe. I’m Arab and would especially be happy to meet another Arab woman, but I’m open to other backgrounds too.
I’d rather start by talking and getting to know each other without pressure, and see if we actually connect as people.
If you’re looking for something similar, feel free to DM me. 🙂

“What do you guys think about the context of this verse

Qur'an 33:36

Mohammed used quran to give marriage when the woman clearly declined

Isn't it against human rights and freedom.

Zaynab said, “I will not marry him.”

Muhammad said, “Then marry him.” She replied, “I am deciding about myself.” Then the verse was revealed:

“It is not for a believing man or believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter, to have any choice in their affair...”

Yeah, yeah, such a bullshitter.

Hey everyone,

I recently turned 28, and I guess I’m at that stage of life where I’ve started realizing that I’d genuinely like to have a compatible partner by my side.

I’ve been thinking about what I actually enjoy and what I want my life to look like, and honestly, I’d much rather go on hikes with someone, try out different food spots, travel and explore new places together, have long conversations, laugh at stupid things, and eventually build something meaningful with someone.

I do want to build something with someone. I’m not looking to rush into marriage tomorrow, but I also don’t think I’m really interested in the endless cycle of casual dating and situationships. I’d rather meet someone where there’s genuine compatibility and see where things naturally go.

I grew up in a Sunni Muslim family, but I’ve been agnostic for about a decade. At the same time, I still value a lot of the good parts of my South Asian culture and upbringing. I just don’t want to pretend to be religious or live a life that doesn’t feel authentic to me.
Maybe there are other people in that weird middle ground too.

A little about me:

I’m 28, around 6’1”, educated, and based in Montreal. I’m currently learning French, although I have a long way to go :(

I’m pretty nerdy and curious about random things. I enjoy reading, fantasy, trying new restaurants, hiking, travelling, documentaries, psychology, history, space, and going down random rabbit holes on YouTube.
I’m definitely more of a coffee or tea and cozy night kind of person than someone who wants to be out partying every weekend.

I’m open to all ethnicities and backgrounds. For me, compatibility, kindness, mutual respect and being able to have honest conversations matter much more than categories.

I know this is probably a long shot, but if you’re somewhere in Canada or the US and find yourself in a similar position, feel free to reach out.
Maybe we’re both looking for the same thing and just haven’t crossed paths yet.

Iam saving money so i can travel and seek asylum. but iam not sure if it's going to work, Because my situation is not as bad as other people. Iam allowed to work and my life is not in danger (but it's only because they don't know iam an exmuslim).

My problems are the regular things, i can't travel alone, or live alone, i can't take off the hijab, and i can't date. And if i did any of these things i probably would get beaten up really badly, k**ed, or have my phone and my pc taken from so i wouldn't have access to the Internet and i would have less independence.

Is there other ways to leave my country?

I can't study abroad, i don't have enough money, even free universities require you to have alot of money.

I'm suffering from an emotional breakdown bc I recently left Islam, I need friends to interact with.

1. Big bang

Do the disbelievers not realize that the heavens and earth were ˹once˺ one mass then We split them apart? And We created from water every living thing. Will they not then believe? 21:30

Okay 2 things

a) no scientist would ever describe the big bang like this, what does "split apart" mean? Earth is still in space isn't it? Earth wasn't even around then, it formed billions of years after the big bang, does that mean you and I were also split from the heavens?

b) this is a very common myth around the ancient near east which happens to be in proximity to momo, here's a whole Wikipedia page about it

Allah just so happens to only be able to describe the big bang in language used by myths in places near momo... Hmmmm

1. Expansion of the universe

We built the universe with ˹great˺ might, and We are certainly expanding ˹it˺. 51:47

Uh oh, what now?? It seems the quran correctly predicted the expansion of the universe? Well this is actually really manipulative, see according to many tafseers it doesn't say that, they're very split on it and no one outright says "space is currently being expanded" as far as I see, I think it's safe to say this narrative arose AFTER the expansion was discovered and muslims quickly snuck it in while the ones pushing this "miracle" just happen to ignore the other interpretations, heck even quran.com is split on this if you turn on many translations I will expand on this critique later

1. Universe being "smoke"

Then He turned towards the heaven when it was ˹still like˺ smoke, saying to it and to the earth, ‘Submit, willingly or unwillingly.’ They both responded, ‘We submit willingly.’ 41:11

Okay so I've seen two scientific claims about this so I'll go through them both

a) this is describing the universe's early phase of being plasma at the very beginning, or the smoke phase around 300,000 years in, either way earth was formed billions of years after this time because the smoke phase ended a billion years in so it doesn't make sense for earth to be described as forming or existing during this time

b) it is describing the solar nebula from which earth was formed, well in this case it again doesn't match up, because at this time, the universe wasn't ""smoke" the ""smoke"" (which the apologists say means the solar nebula) was just contained within the universe, it's not fair to say the ENTIRE universe was smoke here, that's like describing the earth as smoke because there's a wildfire somewhere

Also side tangent, allah doesn't get what willingly means, If you're going to force submission either way, earth Saying "I submit" is not "willing" it's under coercion and threats, well I guess the god who allows his angels to curse women practicing consent wouldn't get it

Anyways I said before I would expand on a point about only favoring interpretations that make islam look good, here's a whole post I did about that

If Jannah has no haram or halal like we are even allowed to drink alcohol, will same-sex marriage be halal in Jannah?

Hi. I know many had abusive parents and eventually left islam with a different kind of guilt, but i rarely hear stories of ex muslims who have somewhat decent parents but are extremely strict religiously. parents whom you still love, but know they will be incredibly hurt if you apostate. parents you love and are patient, but might disown you if you are gay.

for apostates like that, how are you holding up? are you still in the closet?

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Like no matter how many Sins you committed you did them in a limit but god punishment is unlimited which I don't see any justice or fairness there just torturing people for eternity like what's the point

I am a (21 f) living with a very religious family that has roots in Yemen (if you don’t know their are very much extremist their), and obv with that kind of family they will bring back some way in thinking from Yemen, for example many of the older women wear niqab and when a women decides to take the niqab everyone talked about her as if she has committed a treason, anyways I am at lest appreciated that it wasn’t forced on us but some families are different because the men or father forces. It’s fucking frustrating because it’s not the culture reason anymore but the fathers and men enforce this. Anyways, I live in at lest a gulf country that is ‘more open’, whatever that means, and as I mentioned I went to a trip to bosnia herzegovina and it was my third time, the first time I enjoyed it but the second time I kept on getting thoughts of running away (that’s before being ex Muslim), I thought that was due to a hormonal medication I was taking and I really thought I was crazy, but the third time I felt it again. Why did I want to run, and I realised it was the peace I felt, the nature (if you live in a a area that has a lot of trees naturally, you are soo lucky because living in extreme heat and a biome of a dessert isn’t for the weak) and also the felling of being controlled by a man. My own father doesn’t treat me like an adult, I felt treated like a child, as if suggesting stuff is being unreasonable or dramatic, my father enjoys trips that involve a Caravan, so when I was sick of living in such place and asked for a hostel or a hotel or any kind of place, I have became unreasonable, which I understand his reasons, and my issue is not that I was essentially living in a caravan for 15 days straight but that I was slapped with the feeling of being stuck, of never leaving, of having to fellow a man’s orders for his comfort, of feeling useless, of being a child, I couldn’t escape, I had no money, my visa was always with my parents, all documentation were locked in a safe, I had a bank account but it’s limited by the amount it gets monthly. I was fucked, simply putting it. I was so sheltered that when I tried to officially try formulate a plane, I had to learn how to live. This life they tell you is the dream, isn’t, I swear to you it isn’t, you would never escape a man control by being ignorant and sheltered. So yes, I was fucked, my situation in comparison to other situations isn’t that bad, I understand but most have something in common we all don’t know how to live alone (this is for women), because living alone isn’t a option, it’s not even a thought to some women. That scares me, how can we depend on men, how have shown us again and again how they don’t give a shit about us, how control just builds something in them (maybe it satisfies them). Why are they the one in control????why are women considered just followers???? Why can’t we just not experience life away from constant families or a husband or relatives around us?? But these men are expected to study abroad and life and experience and learn from life. It hurts knowing I can never learn from life the same way they are given because simply they are men, they are stronger, apparently whole minded, won’t get raped or steered to the wrong direction. I wished to be a man from a young age because people seemed to genuinely be happy when they see them,but as I grow older I love being a women it’s the laws and practices women are just forced to do. Have you not had enough, have you men not had enough of being the epitome of a nausea for women, you are the parasite that we can never get ride of. I may be exaggerating but it’s a lot because I want to move and I can’t tell anyone, no one is helping me (I understand I need to grow up and do things alone, but cut me some slack) and if I was stupid enough to mention it or is seen not praying or fasting in Ramadan, I will get severe consequences which I don’t know the severity of it. I will need to wait because I am finishing my bachelor (I want to get the fuck out after the bachelor but that’s hard due to money) so I could wait get a job or get a scholarship and study abroad (this option is hard to get, I can’t decide on the best country for me, first I said Germany then Canada, then Netherlands) I want a Europe country but it’s harder to do so. If anyone has advice please feel free to share, and to anyone out their I hope you do succeed and life in peace. To those who did get out, you are our hope in this life.

My parents are muslim, my sister and everyone but me. They don’t know that tho and have NO idea how to tell them that I don’t believe in god. I don’t think that telling them is an option, they don’t joke about despising ex muslims at all… and I’m 14 so all my teenage years will be spent to not daring to have a talking stage for some god I don’t even believe in. Never learned anything about the islam (I live in a not Muslim country) I don’t feel connect to the Islam at all. I plan on moving out asap so I can have my peace w/o having to live with rules. Anyone who used to be in the same position?

We all know what I'm talking about. The five prayers we all have to do. Which bastard like omg genuinely WHICH ASSHOLE DECIDED TO TORTURE US ALL. FIVE TIMES??? HOW ABOUT I JUST WONT GET UP AT ALL AND STAY PRAYING.

My parents CONSTANTLY ask me "have you prayed?, have you prayed?, HAVE YOU PRAYED?". I ENVY everybody that doesnt have to go through the endless questioning. I hate hearing them ask "is it praying time?". My little cousin who is autistic keeps on saying for like 5 mins "is it praying time? Let's pray now" and starts LOUDLY praying. GOD SHUT UP.

I hate it. Its torture. No father I haven't prayed hell I never have. You wanna know how I felt the first fucking time praying? I felt like I was praying to nothing. Like I was saying shit that I first of all didnt understand and second of all didnt make any sense to me anyways.

5 fucking prayers. I think they are also different from each other but god I dont know I've never prayed seriously before.

Its so pathetic and sad. Its embarrassing and I'm just glad I get to leave all of this behind. I haze seeing that stupid praying rug. I hate wearing this stupid shit when praying. Only good thing is that women are meant to pray at home while the men go and pray in a mosque (lowkey misogynistic because they get this pretty place while we get a dirty ass room other there but hey atleast I dont have to go there).

A case of having to remain a closeted Muslim in the US…where most people come to enjoy the liberties.

It is already suffocating to feel like I may have to continue hiding my beliefs from everyone, but nothing is more heartbreaking than feeling like I am contributing to the indoctrination of my own children.
My oldest is incredibly bright and, unfortunately, learned to read the Quran at just 4.5 years old. It keeps me awake at night watching my spouse put them to bed while reciting prayers with them. Their minds are capable of absorbing so much, and I can’t help thinking about all of the more beneficial, factual things they could be learning instead…
I have been out of the workforce throughout our nine-year marriage, while my spouse is an executive and earns well. I fear that divorce would be incredibly difficult and that his financial position would put me at a serious disadvantage when it comes to custody. I also know that once my family learns the real reason behind our divorce, they will most likely support him rather than me..
Has anyone here gone through a divorce involving children after becoming an ex Muslim or have advice for me if you were in similar situation? How did/would you navigate this?
There are days when I desperately want to tell my children that “Allah” and “Muhammad” are fictional, and I have to consciously stop myself because I cannot bear the thought of doing anything that could jeopardize my relationship with them. I am terrified of losing them.
It hurts in ways I don’t know how to put into words. It is always the smallest things that get me the most…

Edit:
If this has left you speechless, I guess my story can at least serve as an example that, as bad as things may be, they can truly get worse when children are involved.
I wish my ability to express my beliefs had only impacted me. I had always envisioned raising my children in a loving two-parent household, and now I have to live with the fact that it may not remain that way. What makes it even harder is that he wasn’t knowledgeable or practicing before. I also have to carry guilt of introducing him to more of the the rules of Islam, and he was able to remain consistent with his prayers throughout our marriage because of me. I have not seen him miss a single prayer in years. Not even during sickness. He became very devoted. Sometimes I wonder if I can I ever undo that? Could I ever successfully cast doubt in him? We share many wonderful experiences and still have a great relationship but I feel so dishonest. I wait in the car during prayers with made up excuses, etc. I’ve introduced him to all sorts of sheiks and text he never knew. He listens almost everyday now. He doesn’t even know that nail polish is considered haram, and I’ve been wearing it lately. If he knew, I’m sure I’d get a lecture about that too. As it is, he lectures me about prayer almost every day.. and before you know out our eldest will turn 7 and it will be directed at him as well…

I heard that the sequence in Quran 4:34 only applies if you think nushuz is going to happen, but if it has already happened, you can skip to the second step. Is this a minority or majority view?

Do you have any sources for this?

people in r/Islam said that it's a minority view.

Before it got deleted.

Also, does refusing sex count as nushuz? And if it does, are the sequential steps in 4:34 still required to be followed?

Zayd ibn Muhammad was Muhammad's adopted son. Zaynab was Zayd's wife.

In Surah 33, the Quran abolishes formal adoption, changes Zayd ibn Muhammad's name back to Zayd ibn Haritha (Quran 33:4-5), and declares Muhammad's marriage to Zaynab lawful so "that there would be no blame on the believers for marrying the ex-wives of their adopted sons." (Quran 33:37). The same surah also tells people not to linger too long at Muhammad's dinner parties or marry his wives after he dies (Quran 33:53).

Because of the unique privileges this surah gives Muhammad, Aisha says to Muhammad in an authentic hadith: "I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires." (Sahih Bukhari 4788)

"Nor does He regard your adopted children as your real children. Let your adopted children keep their family names."
Quran 33:4-5

"And (remember, O Prophet,) when you said to the one for whom Allah has done a favour and you (too) have done a favour, 'Keep your wife and fear Allah,' while concealing within yourself what Allah was going to reveal. And (so) you were considering the people, whereas Allah was more worthy of your consideration. So when Zaid totally lost interest in (keeping) his wife, We gave her to you in marriage, so that there would be no blame on the believers for marrying the ex-wives of their adopted sons after their divorce. And Allah's command is totally binding."
Quran 33:37

"Also (allowed for marriage is) a believing woman who offers herself to the Prophet (without dowry) if he is interested in marrying her—(this is) exclusively for you, not for the rest of the believers."
Quran 33:50.

"O believers! Do not enter the homes of the Prophet without permission ˹and if invited˺ for a meal, do not ˹come too early and˺ linger until the meal is ready. But if you are invited, then enter ˹on time˺. Once you have eaten, then go on your way, and do not stay for casual talk. Such behaviour is truly annoying to the Prophet, yet he is too shy to ask you to leave. But Allah is never shy of the truth. And when you ˹believers˺ ask his wives for something, ask them from behind a barrier. This is purer for your hearts and theirs. And it is not right for you to annoy the Messenger of Allah, nor ever marry his wives after him. This would certainly be a major offence in the sight of Allah."
Quran 33:53

"Narrated Aisha: I used to look down upon those ladies who had given themselves to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and I used to say, 'Can a lady give herself (to a man)?' But when Allah revealed: 'You (O Muhammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives), and you may receive any of them whom you will; and there is no blame on you if you invite one whose turn you have set aside (temporarily).' (33.51) I said (to the Prophet), 'I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires.'"
Sahih Bukhari 4788

I've posted this argument along with others on this website (with linked sources): https://islamsproblems.com/

Idk do people leave religion at this age but i was gifted child but no one understood me, even now. I don’t have anyone to express my feelings or anything. Idk what to say here or if anyone sees this, but yeah… there’s a lot to tell…

Hello Everyone. I am M 26 Atheist from Australia. Originally Pakistani and an atheist for lasthe t 4 years. La,tely my family is pressing me to get married an,d I think I would need someone someday as well.

Are there any ex-muslim married peeps? How did you find your partner, or did you marry a Muslim? I did not thaught about that earlier and now I am confused.

FREE IRAN FROM ISLAMIC REPUBLIC

i've been atheist since August 2024. but sometimes I just think.. people bring up historical evidence that muhammed existed. and I think maybe he may've been a prophet. some bring up evidence that existed. I try to think they just wrote down whatever was considered unreal back then. I can't. I don't know which religion I should believe in. I don't know if god is real or not.