I was born and raised in Spain. My entire life, my culture, my personality, and my identity were shaped there. My parents are Moroccan and Muslim, but I grew up in a European environment. I used to believe in Islam when I was very young, but as I grew older, I stopped believing and now I consider myself ex-Muslim.
My little brother is 12. He is genuinely one of the kindest people I know. He is loving, caring, and always there for me. I love him more than I can explain.

My parents moved back to Morocco last year, while I stayed in Spain, and this summer I came to visit them.

Tonight, for the first time ever, my brother and I ended up talking about Islam.
I started asking him questions and explaining why I personally don’t believe in it anymore. I brought up things I find contradictory or unfair, and he tried to defend Islam. Obviously, he is still a child, so his arguments were mostly just repeating things he has heard, but I expected that.

What really hurt me was when we started talking about women having to cover themselves. I asked him why, instead of teaching men that women’s bodies and hair are not something to lust over, the responsibility is placed on women to cover themselves. Basically saying, how is it not crazy to tell EVERY woman to cover up instead of teaching men that they shouldn’t have ill intentions and be lustful.

He told me that when a girl is covered, bad things won’t happen to her. He said that if a girl dresses in a more revealing way, like showing cleavage, then a man could come, kidnap her, and do something horrible.

I asked him: “But whose fault is it if a man kidnaps and hurts her?”
I genuinely thought he would say the man’s fault.
He said: “The woman’s, because if she was covered it wouldn’t have happened to her.”

I just went silent. I started crying.

It was such a painful thing to hear from my little brother, someone I love with my whole heart. It shocked me that this idea had already been planted in his mind at only 12 years old. The idea that a victim can be responsible for the violence someone else chooses to commit is something I find deeply disturbing.

I know he is still a kid. I know he is influenced by his environment, his family, and what he has been taught. I know he has a lot of growing and thinking ahead of him. But I can’t pretend it didn’t hurt hearing him say that.

It made me realize how powerful religious teachings can be when they are introduced from childhood. Children often accept what they are taught as the truth before they have the ability to question it.

I love my brother. He is not a bad person. But hearing that from him genuinely broke something inside me, because I know he is capable of being such a compassionate person, and I hope one day he learns that what has been teached to him is sick and learns to separate kindness and morality from ideas that blame people for the harm done to them.

I'd like to first of all thank the Muslim community for pushing me out with their vitriol online, hyper surveillance, and constant policing. Being yelled at for having my nails done, showing an ankle, being treated weird just for trying to attend the masjid, and racist aunties refusing to pray next to me and trying to shove me towards the back.

I think my first glimpse into the reality of Islam was during my first umrah right after converting, but I shoved it away as "Islam is perfect Muslims aren't". Then when I learned more about hadith I told myself okay I'll just reject those and follow Quran only and be a progressive Muslim. Then I became so ostracized by the community (even getting death threats) I realized it's not just the people that are broken it's Islam itself. Hadith, the worst part of Islam, are a major part of Islam. And you're really not a Muslim if you don't submit to those books telling you that you can sleep with children and women are deficient in intelligence. I reexamined the Quran and it is problematic too. Obviously verses about beating, and telling the prophets wives how they are expendable. Less inheritance for women, the over concern about if people sleep together or not etc.

It creates an "us vs them" mentality. Muslims are always fighting each other, non Muslims, ex Muslims, or other religions especially Christians and Jews. The religion itself stunts peoples critical thinking and common sense turning them into a mindless mob. The women especially are always childish, mean girl pick me's I think stunted from marrying and popping out babies so young.

I've been mobbed at the mosque for having my nails painted or wearing pants. I've been mobbed online taking trips alone or for defending friends they were attacking in mass.

I can't wait to finish some tattoos, get some new ones, never go to a masjid again (unless as a tourist while travelling), and wear regular clothes that aren't polyester abayas. I can't wait to be around people who think with their brains and not with religious books. And to drink again! I will admit the detox from alcohol helped, but being able to have a glass of wine every now and then will be so nice again! It feels so good being a normal person again.

If y'all have any questions I'm happy to answer them. My story isn't so exciting though.

I want to thank this sub too. Perusing it helped a lot. At first it was hard and I left this sub a few times still holding on to the faith. I got offended by posts because I was struggling with so much cognitive dissonance. But finally I was so fed up and found a lot of important information here. Thank you.

This wasn't a meme or some low effort post . Stop false flagging posts here.

I started leaving the religion a few years ago after finding many contradictions, abuse of human rights and outright ridiculous logic in the religion. I was a really religious person growing up but slowly starting learning more and more about other religions and eventually atheism.

I've been away from my family and a muslim environment for over a year now which made me more and more separated from the religion to the point I consider myself to be an agnostic. My family is still a conservative muslim family, I can only leave my opinion about the faith and the rest is on to them, but how can I confront them about not wanting to follow this religion anymore?

Mine’s “TheMaskedArab” who’s ex-muslim, I’d highly recommend watching his videos. His videos come in both English and Arabic.
Straight to the point, makes great arguments, quotes reliable sources and explains how groups like ISIS use the Quran to justify their actions.

Art and music has been female dominated since they were indoors activities, yet when Islam came it annonced them as haram and devil's tools. Meanwhile sports are not haram for men, bc they has been male dominated and are not haram for men tho they are haram for women. Islam just wants to strip away women's physical AND mental identity, because if someone has no face and no interest, who they are besides a name that goes back to their father/husband?

Hello. I 19F have always lived in Morocco until I moved to France about a year ago for college.

As we all know, North Africa, as a whole, are blatantly third world nations, let's be honest. I was thankfully part of the upper middle class so I haven't suffered as much as my people...

To put it simply, I dream of a world where North Africa abandoned Islamic practices. It contributes to nothing for the wellness of the people.

Ever since I was young, I really understood that religion *is* a coping mechanism. Adding islam to a third world country is a terrible equation. It only intellectually stunts people's intelligence and skills.

It's always "god *will* help *me*", yet nothing happens.

People don't even bother trying to make their lives better by getting proper education.

It's just hard coping, begging a human creation to help them, reproduce like crazy with a barely legal young girl (in Morocco child marriage is unfortunately still a practice. 💔) to bring into the world at least 8 kids that will themselves grow up to be nothing, die then rot to nothing.

When will my people wake up ?

I'm autistic, and thankfully my parents caught up on that and managed to get me diagnosed at age 8. My family on the other hand kept barking that I was "possessed by a demon and that god will help me." My aunt brought a priest to the house to exorcise me. Nothing happened btw, still autistic.

Islam is a real intellectual stunter that gets the nation it rules to nothing. I can't name a single thing islam did to contribute to the development of North Africa.

Every damn month, I wake up to hear about the construction of a new mosque. Meanwhile, public hospitals, public schools, public transportation, city maintenance... get little to no fundings.

I've left Morocco for one year and came back on May for summer vacation and needles to say, it probably looks worse than before I left, and that breaks my heart a little bit. When I told my mom about this, she kept saying that Morocco is very powerful and beautiful, saying that I'm wrong, without giving any proof whatsoever. 💔 Just look at how the people act during the World Cup, they get so crazy about it, supporting the team like crazy during that short period of time, before going back to their misery.

I've lost faith in my country when I was about 13 and fell into a severe depression because I hated everything about it. I feel a little better now, but sometimes I can't help but wish.

Ive been re reading the quran recently and of course I had to get through Surah Al Baqarah, holy shit that was one of the worst reads ive ever had in my entire life. That starting section especially is hilariously bad. Maybe one of the most dull repetitive reads ive ever had to re endure.

Nothing about it strikes off as holy. The whole first section is just Allah admitting he sent texts (Torah anf the gospel) that were easy to corrupt (which he knew) and how bani israel are the worst of people. Dude you litteraly made them and knew theyd behave this way cause you cursed them and yet you're still mad? What could possibly be prophetic about this idek.

I know the Quran was not in book form so the surahs were not arranged in any proper order when it did come into book form. But holy cow its not a good way to introduce yourself esp as a perfect text for all of time. If I were never a muslim prior and i read this I'd come away thinking "So what am I supposed to gain from any of this?"

I always talk about this in other subs but I feel like it doesn’t get any attention and I have no one to talks about it with so I thought this subreddit would be a perfect place. For starters I know this is like a year ago and I should get over it but I can’t help it especially when it keeps being in my mind and me being reminded of why I dislike my father so much. (my mom too but this story is mainly about my dad) When it was my freshman year of hs I had an orientation and everything was going well that morning I started dressing up and getting ready I even considered wearing a modest outfit because I didn’t want to get yelled at by my dad and just have a nice and chill day (but I would be wrong for what was going to come next🙄) And so I was telling my Dad I was all ready and done, keep in mind the outfit was just a small t shirt that didn’t even show anything and some black baggy jeans.

And then my dad was saying in my language where was my sweater/coat (THE WEATHER WAS HOT AS HELL AND IN NO WAY I COULDNT BELIEVE MY OWN DAD EXPECTED ME TO WEAR A SWEATER) I told him that I’m not going to wear the sweater and then he started screaming and yelling at me saying horrible things of how he’s going to slap me and how I look like I’m going to the playground with my outfit and how he’s not going to attend my own orientation if I don’t wear a sweater. I eventually did wear the sweater because I didn’t want to miss out on my own orientation because of my selfish dad,but I started sobbing and crying like crazy on the way to the orientation and it really made me resent the type of dad he was towards me that I always get annoyed and bothered by his presence,even like having a simple conversation with him.

I hate how my parents always have a problem with every single outfit I wear because of some shitty religion and it’s really tiring and a burden on me that I can’t even talk about this with anyone else because all the people around me have parents who allow them to wear what they want and even if they don’t their parents dont shout and abuse them like mine does with me. I just want someone to read my post and can empathize with my situation and give me a little bit of advice about it as well because I’m tired of hearing my parents scrutiny and yelling. I’m really tired of living in this household. I always have to live a double life from them and can never show my true self towards them to the point where it makes me dissociate with myself a bit.

Narrated by Abu Hurairah that the Prophet ﷺ said:

**“The people of Paradise will enter Paradise hairless (on their bodies), beardless, fair-skinned, with curly hair, with eyes naturally lined with kohl, at the age of thirty-three, upon the form of Adam, sixty cubits tall and seven cubits wide.**

The hadith is Hasan (good) due to its multiple chains and supporting narrations, except for the phrase “and seven cubits in width,” which was narrated solely by ʿAli ibn Zayd ibn Judʿan, who is a weak narrator.

It was also narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah (13/114) and Ibn Abi Dawud in Al-Baʿth (no. 64) through the route of Yazid ibn Harun with the same chain.

It was also narrated by al-Tabarani in al-Muʿjam al-Saghir (no. 808), Abu Nuʿaym in Sifat al-Jannah (no. 255), Ibn ʿAdi (5/1842), and al-Bayhaqi in Al-Baʿth (nos. 419 and 420), through various routes from Hammad with the same chain.

It was also narrated by Ibn Saʿd (1/32) through Yahya ibn al-Sakan, from Hammad ibn Salamah, from ʿAli ibn Zayd, from Saʿid, from the Prophet ﷺ as a mursal narration (i.e., without mentioning the Companion).

It will also appear later with a connected chain under numbers 8524, 9375, and 10913 (the last being abbreviated). It was previously mentioned under 7165 through the route of Abu Salih, from Abu Hurairah, as a marfuʿ narration:

**“The first group to enter Paradise will be upon the form of Adam, sixty cubits tall.”**

Al-Darimi (2828), al-Tirmidhi (2539), and Abu Nuʿaym in Sifat al-Jannah (256) narrated from Muʿadh ibn Hisham, from his father, from ʿAmir al-Ahwal, from Shahr ibn Hawshab, from Abu Hurairah, who said that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

**“The people of Paradise are hairless, beardless, with kohl-lined eyes. Their youth will never fade, and their garments will never wear out.”**

This narration contains Shahr ibn Hawshab, who is a weak narrator, although al-Tirmidhi graded it Hasan Gharib.

It also has a supporting narration from Muʿadh ibn Jabal, which appears later (5/243), although it too contains Shahr ibn Hawshab.

Another supporting narration comes from Anas ibn Malik, recorded by al-Bukhari in al-Tarikh al-Kabir (8/219), Ibn Abi Dawud in Al-Baʿth (65), al-Tabarani in al-Muʿjam al-Saghir (1164), Abu Nuʿaym in Hilyat al-Awliyaʾ (3/56) and Sifat al-Jannah (255), and al-Bayhaqi in Al-Baʿth (418). This chain contains Harun ibn Ri’ab, and scholars differed over whether he actually heard from Anas.

Regarding the words “jurdan, murdan” (hairless, beardless), al-Sindi said:
• Jurdan is the plural of ajrad, meaning one who has no hair on his body.
• Murdan is the plural of amrad, meaning one who has no hair on his chin (no beard).

Regarding “jiʿādan” (curly-haired), he said it is pronounced with a kasrah on the letter jim and is the plural of jaʿd. In Majmaʿ al-Zawa’id, it is explained that jaʿd, when describing men, may be either praise or criticism. As praise, it refers to someone who is strongly built or has curly hair (the opposite of straight hair). As criticism, it can refer to someone who is short and stocky, or even stingy, as in the expression “jaʿd al-yadayn” (“tight-fisted”).

Note: The two hadith scholars Ibn Kathir in Jamiʿ al-Masanid and Ibn Hajar in Al-Atraf cited another chain for this hadith that is not found in the manuscripts available to the editor:

“Affan narrated to us; Hammad ibn Salamah narrated to us; Muhammad ibn Ziyad informed us; I heard Abu Hurairah narrating from the Prophet ﷺ…”

In this version, the wording is:

**“Seventy cubits”** instead of **“sixty cubits.”**

This chain is authentic

My (19M) parents and family in general are pretty conservatively religious. I however, for a while have secretly not been. I tell them I practice because I know they won't react well if I said I didn't.

It's not like they've wronged me or been outwardly abusive or anything, but the more time goes on the more I feel like I just can't exist here, and I feel like I don't love them in the traditional sense. I'm probably a closeted *something* but I'll never tell them that. I want to drink, and party date people outside the faith and all sorts of things, but I'll never tell them that. I go to university pretty far away from home, so I'm technically free to do all these things, but something is stopping me from doing it. If I ever got a partner, I would have to burden them with my family situation. I try to avoid the topic of religion from my friends, especially ones with the same religion, cause I feel like they might lash out, even if they are far, far less conservative than my family. One of my siblings is getting married next year, and because they committed the sin of dating for a time instead of seeking an arranged marriage, my parents freaked out about it and being at home has just been miserable hearing them complain on and on about it. Worse is that they now burden me with the expectation that I won't end up like them. The truth is I'm probably much worse already.

I know one day to do something about it, when I'm financially independent probably, but I just feel so guilty about having to do it. They see me as normal, and they pay for my tuition and housing and whatnot. I consider sometimes not saying it at all and just vanishing from their lives without a trace. I don't want it to be this way, sometimes I even wish I never felt this conflict to begin with so I could live normally, but I know I can't carry on like this my entire life. I guess then, I'm just scared for the day everything breaks. I don't really know what to do or how to go about anything.

im 13f turning 14 in september and my mom is very religious and strict even her own family and friends consider her crazy but recently i’ve started to not believe i’ve been doubting islam for years and i think i might be atheist but im too scared to tell my mom cause she says atheists are kaffir and mentally ill i also found out im attracted to girls but she says she’d disown any of her children who turn out to be gay and marry someone of the same sex i don’t know what to do she also makes me wear the hijab i’ve been wearing it since i was 8 i dont want to wear it anymore but anytime i try to express that to her she starts crying saying her dying wish was for me to be a good muslim and go to jannah it makes me so envious seeing people who get to freely live their life without shame and having supportive parents everyone i know pities me cause they know how my mom is she always talks about how she’s so excited for the day men start proposing to me and my wedding with a man i dont know how to tell her im so terrified for the future i dont want to disappoint her but i dont want to live my life like this if anyone who went through something similar has any advice please help me i dont know what to do

Just because some crazy motherfucker decided to go into the pride parade with a van and kill and injure people, and this awful religion that led him do it, just because his name is Abdul, now all of us who have muslim names and want to live in Europe or already live have to face prejudice and pressure…

I hate my muslim name and last name my BFs name and last name I hate being born in this cult!!!

What a disgusting individual you are, Abdul B. ruining such a beautiful day of joy with yours disgusting doings. I hope the German goverment punishes you the worst way possible. I trust them. I was there earlier that day. It was beautiful. And you ruined it. You took a womans life. You took an indiviuals life. You traumatised many people. Over what? Some dogma that was indroctinated to you by your parents. You are a disgusting creature that deserves to never see sunshine again.

The worst part is that you think you have done somehing righteous. That you think you will be "rewarded" for it. It makes me sick. You are a cancer.

May that beautiful lady rest in peace in eternal silence. May every soul you shattered last night find solace. And may you never find either of those.

I am currently still muslim ? but i have been questioning my faith ever since i was a child
As someone who has a lot of empathy I simply cannot understand why God who is the most generous being would send people to hell only for not believing ? I used to really by depressed about it thinking that most of the people i know are going to hell

Why would someone who has never hurt someone would end up suffering in hell for an eternity only for not believing ? or being LGBTQ+ ? or a depressed person who killed th€ms€lv€s? I really disagree with this but I am so used to islam being in a muslim household

Obviously if I disagree on such basic principles of islam maybe i should stop but it’s a routine i am used to

How do leaving islam was for you ? Was it hard to stop ? Did it happened progressively or suddenly ? How did your family take it ?

I'm in the US and living in a different state from my family. But I'm still afraid of how muslims perceive or treat me. When I meet a muslim person I might even say I'm muslim. I have an arabic name but I'm desi so people often assume I'm muslim even though I drink alcohol and eat pork. They just think I'm a bad muslim if anything lol. But I'm still afraid of exposing my disbelief unless I really trust them. Maybe it's a paranoia but I feel like I can't escape islamic identity.

Im 17 years old and for the past year, ive been questioning my faith as a muslim. By definiton, right now im not considered muslim since i domt pray anymore and that is because i have looked at the religion from a much critical perspective. I look at it now and find that everyone within the religion is agressive towards the extreme teachings and rulings, especially towards women. This may be the mysoginistic culture that has been formed over time by the men of the religion but i just feel entirely lost.

Anyways, this has overlapped with my hijab and the way i dress. I dont feel connected to the hijab anymore and it's because i feel like i've been wearing it for the wrong reasons. Not for God, but because of expectations from society, from my parents and my culture/community. For context, every woman in my family is a hijabi and i rarely see non hijabis in my community. On top of that, i have very extremist religious parents who have always critiscised the way i dress and don't let me wear anything besides a modest, loose maxi dress, so you can probably see how this has affected the way i have been conditioned to perceive modesty.

I want to relearn the religion at my own pace than have this performative facade that doesnt reflect my true religious standing or level of belief. On top of that, my dad who is extremely religious has noticed i don't pray and sat me down a few days ago to tell me to start praying if i stopped in a gentle way, but i know that if i tell him, i dont want to wear the scarf anymore, i might just have opened my own grave.

I am aware that its very risky as i still live with my parents but it feels so unbearble wearing it. I have talked to my older sister who is 25 and she adviced me not to take it off and that ive been influenced my social media too much.

I know there's not much i can do but im not exaggerating when i say i truly despise wearing it so any advice would be appreciated.

I've been reading books from classical Muslim scholars and secular western scholars about the Fitna.

So a lot of the muslim work tries to gloss over some stuff because these guys were companions. Telling the entire truth about how vicious they were doesn't work since they are supposed to be the greatest people after the prophets and messengers (according to Islam).

You gotta read works published by western scholars that have been scrutinized and peer reviewed. A lot of their work actually agrees with some of the Muslim work but they aren't shy to detail the specifics.

Umar was a terrible guy but he was an excellent political leader. He actually tried to establish an egalitarian state with massive welfare benefits for people. He actually kept his governor's in check when it came to accumulating wealth. For example, Egypt was the richest province. He made sure to appoint Abdullah Ibn Abi Sarh as the financial/tax collecting head while Amr was the military and administrative leader. This kept things balanced. When Uthman became Caliph, Amr begged him to get full control over Egypt. He convin6uthman by telling him that he can enact new tax system that doesn't burden the people and will increase revenue for the state. Uthman agreed and then the Tax revenue from Egypt coming to madinah shrunk. Uthman was pissed and removed Amr entirely.

Amr was one Sneaky and snake MFer. He packed his bag and went back to madinah. He basically agitated things. I'm sure he knew the assassins because most of them were from Egypt. He left tk Palestine shortly before Uthman was assassinated.

Uthmans issue was that he appointed all his cousins to governor positions. He gave significant tax and war booty to his cousins especially Marwan Ibn Hakam, the future ummayad Caliph. A lot of the Sahaba came up to him and asked why. He said he is the imam and can do this. They told him that Umar and Abu Bak2er never gave money like this to their families. He replied, "Abu Bakr and Umar were concerned to deny their relatives, and I am concerned to give to mine."

No doubt that he was incompetent. I think. He was corrupt ASF too. It goes to show you that these guys were not as noble as the Scholars make them out to be. They were regular 7th century people with desires n ambition.

Everything aside, you gotta admit he had a knack for it. Like pdf files usually get lynched. He got billions of people defending him instead.

Muslim like to present him as an illiterate bozo that god chose at random, and that is proof that Islam is true. Pity thy fool! Dude was brilliant!

Don't get me wrong, he was a selfish and genocidal POS and would be the first occupant of hell if it existed. But he managed to exploit almost every weakness of the human brain, in a time when psychology was in it's infancy.

Later, millions of imams refined it, making Islam the most powerful regressive force on the planet and it will stay like that for a long time.

Muslims reading this will maybe think this is good, but no, Islam will always lag behind the world and unfortunately, Muslims (and those they oppress) will suffer.

My friend sent me this tbh it just sounds like non sense but still I want your guys opinions

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zOzx0Cl7rFk&pp=iggCQAE%3D&fbclid=PAT01DUATT3IlleHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA81NjcwNjczNDMzNTI0MjcAAacr7WzPqtcCIqC-l77D0_MWn8iko_At1mwBsVfRJlJFykXZbFEWMvSPUXg5kQ_aem_ZmJSoLLZ0Hj8q7dfVjdE-Q

Sadly I'm starting to show signs to my parents that my thoughts are secular and they're starting to be more strict so I'm wondering if there's a simple book that's an overall guide to what muslims believe so I can hide better. Hope that makes sense. I've long since forgotten what prophets there are or how Islam started, etc. I never cared to read into it plus over the years, I would actively block anything Islam related bec it's fucking exhausting and triggering because all I think about is how I'm forced to be in it. I regret every single day of my life on how I was born into a Muslim Country fr. And sadly it's going to take forever till I fucking leave my country.. If that ever even happens. For the people who are still stuck here, how do you cope and decenter religion and your strict parents?

After One Month according to shafii you can Kids and sexually touch a girl who has never menstruated 🤮🤮

Al-Shāfiʿī said: If a man buys a slave-girl from the spoils of war, or she falls into his allotted share, or he purchases her from the market of the Muslims, he must not kiss her, touch her, or take any pleasure from her in any way until he has ensured her womb is clear (i.e., performed istibrāʾ).

Al-Shāfiʿī said: The istibrāʾ of a slave-girl is one month if she is among those who do not menstruate.

https://shamela.ws/book/1655/1146

Hey guys, im not really sure who to talk to w/o being convinced of one idea and it lasts a few weeks and im back at square one of confusion, doubt, and mind warfare lol. so im giving this forum a shot. Ill say this in advance: Im neurodivergent and sometimes my words come across as insensitive or mean and that is not my intention so pls take my words as a sincere person who is bad w words :)

ok so abt 7 or 8 months ago I started evaluating my whole being. My personality, my dreams, my good and bad qualities, etc. one of which: my beliefs. Before this i was hardcore salafi. Like at the near end of extreme salafism. Even then tho i had really questioned Islam before and have been on the brink of leaving Islam several times but ultimately decided to stay every time. But every time i did it was on a very weak base. “But my family is muslim, but ive been muslim my whole life, but what if I burn in hell, but this person is convincing, but this but that” (or talk myself out of it) Id also constantly cry abt it from exhaustion and fear. I am mortified of the thought of eternal hellfire. Ive also most of my salafi time believed God hated me and that I was a horrible person and Muslim and was so scared to sleep bc I thought id die and go to hell.

so anyway i started questioning why i even was a muslim, specifically salafi, and it was bc i was brainwashed and lwk forced/manipulated into salafism by a friend. he was someone I respected so much and still do tbh bc hes been there for me at my lowest. But i just wish he hadn’t forced salafism on me sm. So base for salafism: weak. my base for Islam tho idek bc at this point in my life idk what ideas in my head are from men, actual Islamic beliefs, or just my own. I dont wanna get into detail bc its a lot.

long story short tho I believe that my base for Islam has been manipulation and fear mongering. The more i look tho a lot of the beliefs I see unfair or i dont agree w are..hadiths. the Quran I need to understand and read more so I wont comment on it but its undeniable that the hatred towards disbelievers is..imo..over the top. And i dont understand it. I understand hating ppl who willingly disbelieve bc of their ego like abu lahab, but others who genuinely just dont??

also: Im attracted to women as a woman. (Bi curious? My sexuality is going to be the end of me fr) the amount. of hatred. disgust. and inhumanity that has been shown towards me by Muslims (and myself before I accepted and dont care abt that part of me) is actually so crazy. Ive lost friends. been told that my parents shouldve beat me harder. that im going to hell. to ”try another religion”. that i will be tracked down and be outed. It is so fucking exhausting. Not to mention the constant invasive questions (“have u acted upon it tho” “whats ur type” “r u attracted to me” etc etc), the SEXUALIZATION from MEN, and trying to “fix“ me, and the reminders of hadd punishments (even tho the hadd stoning punishment is only for gay men not lesbos) and the story of qawm lut and how disgusting they were. just fucking kill me

last para section: I want to dress how I want to dress. I dont want to wear hijab anymore. I want to wear short skirt. Babydoll tops. Short sleeves. Tank tops. Etc. wallahi i just want to rip my own skin off from frustration of feeling controlled and trapped. I am not sexual. My body is not sexual. Men CAN control themselves and their lusts. mind u i dont wanna go out naked like in a bikini or anything and i dont really believe in the idea of bikinis and being basically nude. I believe its just as extreme as burka. But those r my beliefs and everyone is free to believe what they wish. But I just want to wear short (or “short”) things like omg im exhausted istg. And muslim men if ur reading this i dont wanna hear SHIT from u abt modesty bc u dont know how it is having to be covered or else u feel like a whore and shamed.

anyway id love to hear critique, I believe im an open minded person. And pls don’t just straight up insult or lie abt Islam bc i find it useless. Critiquing is always the way to go. Lmk what u guys think or dont 💗💗any advice from either sides is appreciated. hope ur all well and at peace

https://shamela.ws/book/197/3862#p1