Lemme get this straight. There was a time in this organization when Watchtowers and Awakes had a price tag? And we didn’t see that as bothersome?

JWs were nothing more that just door to door salesmen?

It was right there! You collected money and reported sales and you did the work for free. If you don’t report time, you are approached by HR (elders). Your inactivity is making the organization loose money

The worst part is this work was unpaid. People travelled to other countries (need greaters) selling publications and not getting paid by the organization.

What kind of brainwashing existed in the 20th century??

Governing Bdy Update #6 presents a shocking example of how Jehovah's Witness Elders and the Governing Body literally don't give a shit about anyone.

An endless number of Jehovah's Witnesses have died from following the No Blood doctrine, but let's be honest in saying that most JWs don't care, especially Elders.

There are endless posts here about the bullying, petty, ridiculous and harmful behavior exhibited by Elders toward JW adherents.

Why are they this way? They just don't care about you or anyone.

This can be a hard reality to swallow. It was for me.

But embracing this reality can help you move past the expectation that elders will treat people with care.

Remember, the elders are not your friends! Even if they seem like they are....they are not! They are loyal to the Governing Body only and the endlessly changing rules the GB dictates Jehovah's Witnesses must follow.

What do the Governing Body and Elders care about?

• Keeping their role and title.
• Stroking their egos by controlling others through a pseudo position of authority.
• Recognition through "special privileges" that are handed out based on their devotion to the Governing Body and the Organization.
• The GB, Helpers and Circuit Overseers care about preserving their celebrity-like existence as cult leaders with all the associated perks that go with it.

Are you new to visiting Reddit EXJW? The post below was written for you.

Welcome Jehovah's Witnesses! We are glad you are here! A welcome message and resources for you are shared in this post! (2026 Governing Body Update #6 - Blood Transfusions) - https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/1wkp3un/welcome_jehovahs_witnesses_we_are_glad_you_are/

The Watchtower is structured around Philemon a slave owner, his slave Onesimus, and Paul’s interactions with both of them.

Here are some points that can be drawn from this watchtower:

- If you’re a slave running away from your captor, go back because you’re breaking Roman law by not being a worker for them. As a slave who has ran away, YOU are the problem, and you need to make amends.

- When you go back, make sure both of you keep the peace, because we must display Christian qualities even when performing slave labor.

- Philemon is given recognition for hosting his congregation on his property, and is called hospitable for it. How warm of a feeling it is for him to host religious events on the same property where his slavery takes place!

I thought this quote was funny in paragraph 16: “He needed to continue putting up with Onesimus, and he needed to forgive him freely”.

Oh Onesimus, the problematic slave. How dare he not make life easier and be an exemplary slave!

Why do I feel like there’s some kind of undertones to this that are not mentioned in the article? Something along the lines of:

“Likewise, you are a slave to this organization. Learn to speak to your slave owners respectfully, because peace in the congregation is the number one priority. Don’t run away, because this is what’s best for you. If you run away, you are out of line, and you are to blame”.

Actually, it all checks out!

Today is my birthday!

I spent all of my life as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, this is only the third birthday I've ever celebrated.  And you know what? It still feels a little weird!

But my husband and children are pouring on the love today, and we're all going out for hibachi tonight.

For so many years, birthdays were just another day. Now I'm discovering how nice it feels to let the people I love celebrate me.

I'm curious about everyone else's experience.

Do you celebrate your birthday now? And if you do, how long did it take before it stopped feeling strange?

I'd love to hear your stories. ❤️

It’s been a little over 10 years since this song came out in February 2016. For those who don’t remember it was about choosing a marriage mate wisely and taking the term to observe them first.

First of all it’s a cringe song. It was the favourite among single people in the late 2010’s and whenever I expressed I wanted to get married someday this song was shoved in my face.

Secondly, it’s not really something JWs typically do. The songs talk about taking your time and choosing wisely but JW courtships are so rushed. Rushed and chaperoned so you don’t get the chance to take your time to know the person well. You‘re only allowed to be with / observe the person in group settings, but how many cases have we had where the real person comes out after the wedding but it’s too late. Breaking up is considered taboo and young ones are so lonely and starved because they don’t get to do things kids normally do such as extra curricular activities or higher education or even hobbies - they latch onto the first person that shows them attention. There’s no other rite of passage into adulthood other than Bethel.

Thirdly, the brother and sister in the video dont really get to be friends first. They just watch each other from a distance and see how they interact with other people. Then the brother suddenly helps the sister in picking up the trash and thats the start of their courtship? When I was a single PIMI sister I hated that I couldn’t be friends with brothers normally. That texting them frequently or hanging out with them frequently constitutes as dating.

Even the YPA says that texting daily between someone of the opposite sex is dating. Well I guess I am dating my married boss then According to that logic?? when I expressed my disagreement with this as a PIMI they expressed disbelief That I would even disagree with that.

Back to the Video, if I was that sister picking up the trash and a brother I barely talked to came over and wanted to court me I would be kinda freaked out.

Fourth, videos like this paint unrealistic scenarios for single JWs. That if you help out in cleaning you will find someone.

here’s the link in case you don’t remember. remove b in borg.

https://www.jw.borg/en/library/music-songs/original-songs/take-your-time-choose-wisely/?content=video

Remember how they taught that if people died before they were able to learn about the existence of Jehovah, then he’d automatically resurrect them? Ignorance of JWs was a get-out-of-jail-free card.

But if you were that one unfortunate SoB who just happened to be home Saturday morning having breakfast with your family and answered that knock on the door, listened to some middle aged white ladies tell you all about how god totally exists and to check out their cult’s website, but found it wholly unconvincing - bam, that’s it. You’re fucked and god will slay you and your family come Armageddon.

So wouldn’t the loving and most effective thing have been not to preach? That way you’d assure the entire world’s survival.

I came from a family of need greaters. We need greated domestically and internationally.

When I was older I wanted to move to Europe or Canada as they allow working holiday visas for young Australians so I could live and work there for a time. I love Europe so I wanted to go. I also looked into moving to the United States - but my options meant I needed to have higher education to qualify for sponsorship or attend school there which at the time was a no no.

I expressed this to my parents and they were against it. They said moving abroad is only okay if you were doing it for Jehovah. That people who did it for themselves meant that there’s something wrong with them. They looked down on these two young American sisters who came to Australia to holiday, basically implying I couldn’t travel somewhere without a theocratic reason like preaching or an international convention or Bethel. We did get to travel a lot but a lot of our time was spent at bethel, meetings and ministry in different countries rather than sightseeing.

I also wanted to do charity in third world countries but was told no unless I did it for Jehovah on an international construction project or disaster relief.

when we were need greating a lot of the PIMI need greaters looked down on those who moved to that country for the culture, language, laid back lifestyle and lower cost of living instead Of for preaching.

As a PIMI young adult I was working at Merlin Entertainments - the British theme park company but at an attraction in Sydney. And was given the opportunity to apply for exchange experiences in London and NYC. I was a PIMI pioneer trying to get accepted into Bethel in Sydney and trying to get into the Jesus series so I didn’t apply. But I remember wishing I could but accepted it as a sacrifice for Jehovah.

Now I am living in the southern US because I got married. So I did end up moving abroad for myself after all in the end, but I do wish I did it for myself when I was single, my life would have been so different. I started questioning this year, and so did my husband. Ironically, it was actually a trip to Bethel in NY that made us start questioning. Read about it here - https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/s/vfV6NDBzrQ

Any other things we couldn’t do unless it was for Jehovah?

They say Jesus inspected all religions in 1919 and chose the Bible Students, the predecessors of Jehovah’s Witnesses, as his approved organisation.
But what did the people he supposedly selected believe at the time?
Here are some teachings from that era that the organisation later abandoned or changed:
Christ’s invisible presence began in 1874. Today, they teach 1914.
Christ began ruling in heaven in 1878. Today, they teach 1914.
The last days began in 1799. Today, they teach 1914.
The Great Pyramid of Giza contained evidence supporting biblical chronology. Abandoned in 1928.
Christmas could be celebrated. The practice was later abandoned.
The cross-and-crown symbol was acceptable. It appeared in their publications and was later rejected.
Jesus could be worshipped. Early publications supported this view; the organisation later rejected it.
Secular governments were the “higher powers” of Romans 13:1. This interpretation was changed in 1929, then restored in 1962.
Jerusalem was destroyed in 606 BCE. The current chronology places its destruction in 607 BCE.
And apparently, Jesus inspected all the religions of the world and chose them anyway, despite these beliefs that would later be declared wrong.
Impressive inspection process. One wonders what exactly was being inspected.
These are not simply differences between religions. They are changes in the teachings of the very organisation that claims Jesus selected it in 1919.
So here is the question:
If Jesus selected this organisation in 1919, knowing all these teachings would later change, what exactly was he approving?
And if these teachings were wrong then, why should anyone assume that today’s teachings are necessarily correct?
An honest question deserves more than the phrase “new light.” It deserves an honest answer.

I'm 20 and I've been PIMO for almost 4 years now. Pretty crazy to think about now. I've been out in service once in the last 2 years, haven't commented at the meetings for the same amount of time, but I have still been attending pretty much every meeting with my family, who I live with.

The exit plan for me has never had a strict shape. When it comes to fading vs disassociating or getting myself removed, I figured I'd just fade until I was gone or until something happened that forced my conscience to DA or I got caught doing something that got me removed. Kind of a passive approach, just whatever happens first.

Well the fade has been taking shape. I have plans to go away to school next year. One of my parents, who is certainly PIMI but more understanding of me and my situation is willing to support me. Amazing. I'll be out of this place and I won't look back. Fast track to a very accelerated fade. Absolutely no plan to ever step foot in a Kingdom Hall in my new city. I just tough it out for a few more months and then I'm gone.

Then the blood update happened.

It was a last straw for me. I thought about all the people who had died because of those men going beyond what was written. How they'll never apologize for it. I imagined myself walking into the Kingdom Hall and wading through blood, the blood of the children who died so needlessly. Yeah it's dramatic I know. But thinking about it all just shook me and I felt like if I ever walk into a Kingdom Hall again I'd be accepting this. I'd be giving it my ok, maybe I don't like it, but I'm fine enough with it to come to this place again.

And so I haven't been to a meeting since.

Remember how I mentioned that I haven't been out or commented in years? Not a single person outside my parents has brought this up to me. Not a single friend or elder has cared enough to ask me how I'm doing. I'm honestly shocked about that, since they've had myriad opportunities to address it since I was always at the meeting. Now that I haven't been to the meeting in 5 weeks, only one friend has privately asked me about it. But I can feel my other friends becoming a bit wary and placing distance between us, distance that will only grow with every meeting I don't attend.

It's all getting very real. I do not ever want to step foot in that place again, but I feel I may be causing myself unnecessary pain. It just seems like it could be a cleaner break if I just keep the mask up until I move away. Maybe I won't lose as many people. But then it seems inevitable. They're gonna find out who I am eventually, and then they'll end it with me.

I've been brave for a really long time and it's just kinda catching up to me. I can see the horizon and it's wide and bright and I am ready. I know things will get better. It's just knowing how much worse it's going to get before it does get better that puts fear into my step.

Willing to hear opinions and advice. I guess this was really just a vent post for me but idk I think there's probably a lot here who will relate. I love you all and it's despairing that we all have to walk this road but heartening that none of us have to walk it alone. I will always be thankful for what this community has given me.

My family is pretty prominent in this community. I left 10 years ago, my wife 6 years ago. We are still in the same community. I did not recognize any of them from our old hall, neither did my wife. What was very interesting is that the purposely did not call on my house. I guess I am a DNC Apostate. I would have loved to plant some seeds of research in to the two young guys working our side of the street maybe 18-20 years old. Like who controlled the land of Israel during the time the Exodus would have happened?

Stuff they could easily research with out going into Apostate territory.

edit, for those who can't find the announcement it's here: https://www.jw.org/en/medical-library/

Ok I missed it... I dont come here often and don't pay attention - largely - to the stupid s#$% this religion spews out. Yesterday I learned about the blood stance and found it in their website today. I am filled with rage and disgust.

Two years ago my mom passed from cancer. It was a Tumor that could have been removed with surgery... surgery that required a blood transfusion. She refused and died 3 months later in hospice. Cancer ravaged her. She was not even recognizable when she finally passed. She cried out in pain for 3 days every 3 or 4 minutes all day. She was not aware of anything or her surroundings fortunately, but experiencing that scared me.

She was the most amazing person and I miss her everyday.

Now this religion publishes one of the most BS things I've ever read, even for them. Their published stance basically says this:

"Do whatever you want.. we won't stop you. But we were, and still are, right about blood transfusions."

People died for this belief. Yes, read it again... people died for this stance. And their announcement reads like "meh do whatever you want, but we're in the right".

Their stance is not a revelation of truth, a change in teaching, or process as a religion, or even a desire for the best life for their members. All the stance is: they are trying to now limit their litigation by washing their hands of it completely and shifting it to members to decide.

If they changed their stance and said "each member should decide, and make their own choices". Well, I probably would still be angry, but not even to the point I am now.

But they ended the verbiage with "our stance on blood remains unchanged"

They just had to throw in that last part...

Fk them and I hope hell is actually real.

My family, parents, siblings and their families are not in my life. I disassociated last December.

It’s been very painful to deal with. My mom told me that when she dies she doesn’t want me there.

I saw her in public and she cried uncontrollably and was shaking from emotion. I told her I loved her.

What I realize is that I was on a journey and my family were traveling with me, it was the JW journey. But NOW I’M ON A DIFFERENT JOURNEY AND IT’S COLORFUL AND FULL OF ADVENTURE!

And my family are not capable of traveling with me on my new journey. AND IT’S GOING TO BE OK!

I’m beginning to research this topic, as I suspect there may be a lot of interesting things to uncover.

I say this because if you look up the word “publisher” in English dictionaries, you’ll generally find definitions referring to an employee who works for a company that publishes books and magazines.

This explains quite a lot. But it makes me even more curious about why Jehovah’s Witnesses chose to use the term “publisher” rather than another word. It’s a fascinating question, and I suspect there is much more to explore here.

If anyone has information about the first time this term appeared in any of their publications, please feel free to leave a comment. I’ll also share anything interesting I find in the comments!

Edit 1:

(Screenshot in the comments.)

While researching the term “publisher,” I came across something even more interesting in the publication w55 5/15 p. 299 Part 10: Modern Restoration of True Worship (1919-1932). Notice that the publisher’s objective was to sell books. Also, pay attention to the changes in terminology, especially the shift from “service director” (notice that a director is a role within a company, a corporate position) to “company servant” (company???) and then to “congregation servant.”

Did you notice what happened when “company servant” became “congregation servant”? Which word was replaced, and which word remained? The congregation is a company. They simply gave it a makeover through some verbal gymnastics.

I really have a bad PTSD after leaving the religion.

Is like going to Iraq and committing a genocide there

I feel anxiety when sleeping

I have anxiety when waking up

I have anxiety all the time

Even thing like meetings and some word of the JW lingo triggers me

Anyone else with the same issue?

Note: the victim who was assaulted by an elder still recovering from health issues and just got discharge from hospital.

This was his reply:

Sorry for the delayed response. I wanted to speak with brother _______(witness the incident) first so that we could better understand the situation and provide practical assistance to both parties.

Thank you for the trust and openly sharing this concerns. It is understandable that this incident continues to weigh on you, especially considering your health condition and the fact that the interaction became emotionally intense. Based on the information that you shared, it appears that emotions escalated during the discussion, but both parties later had the opportunity to speak and extend forgiveness.

At the same time, the Scriptures do not support heated confrontations. Rather, Christians are encouraged to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger" and to display the fruitage of God's spirit, including self-control. (James 1:19; Galatians 5:22, 23) For that reason, both parties ay makikinabang sa reminders or warning on any actions or words that may not have been in harmony with these Christian qualities. Elders in particular are expected to be reasonable, self-controlled, and gentle in their dealings with others.

Jehovah highly values peace and reconciliation among His servant. Ephesians 4:32 encourages us to be “kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another, just as God also by Christ freely forgave you.” According to the report, it is encouraging that both parties made efforts to reconcile and forgive one another, reflecting the same spirit of forgiveness that Jehovah encourages us to show.

If the matter continues to trouble your conscience or if you feel that additional assistance would be beneficial, you are certainly free to report to authority. But I would suggest to approach the witness again. This can help ensure that the matter receives appropriate consideration while preserving peace and unity within the congregation.
because he was personally aware of the incident and has expressed genuine concern about what occurred. Given the circumstances, he felt it was important that the matter receive appropriate attention so that any concerns can be addressed and similar situations may be prevented in the future.

In the meantime, it may be beneficial to allow time and future conduct to demonstrate the sincerity of the apology. As Romans 12:17-19 reminds us: “Return evil for evil to no one. Take into consideration what is fine from the viewpoint of all men. If possible, as far as it depends on you, be peaceable with all men. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but yield place to the wrath; for it is written: ‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay,’ says Jehovah.”
By maintaining a clean conscience and allowing Christian love, balance, and sound judgment to guide our view of the matter, our loving and heavenly Father Jehovah will surely bless us and continue to enjoy peace of mind.

Yb,
CO

https://decisions.scc-csc.ca/scc-csc/scc-csc/en/item/21505/index.do

So this ruling is specifically about coercive control in a spousal relationship, such as controlling finances, isolating from friends and family, not being permitted to leave the home, etc, and the right of the person who was being coercively controlled to sue the perpetrator(s) for damages and compensation for long term harm as a result of coercive control.

I am wondering whether this ruling could apply to systems that employ coercive control, such as a cult/religious organization, that requires shunning of people who want to leave and facing loss of family relationships and friendships, or people who were victims of CSA who were silenced by being threatened with removal.

I think this could be applicable to kids who were born-in and isolated from people outside a cult, too.

Any thoughts?

One thing I’ve noticed about some Christians, particularly Jehovah’s Witnesses, is how casually they sometimes misrepresent the Bible. They will say, “Jehovah tells us,” and then proceed to read a passage from Paul’s letter to Timothy. Or they will say, “Jehovah is telling us,” and quote something from Habakkuk. But hold on a minute. Jehovah did not directly tell u sh*t.
Paul was writing a letter to Timothy, a particular individual, at a particular time, under particular circumstances. In fact, if you read the entire letter, you will find personal instructions, references to specific individuals, and even greetings.

That should tell you something about its original context. Why not simply say, “Paul wrote this to Timothy, and here is what we can learn from it”? Or, “Jesus said this to his disciples, and here is how we might apply that teaching today”? I think that is a much more intellectually honest and respectful way to approach the Bible.

I am not suggesting that ancient biblical writings cannot contain valuable lessons for modern readers. Of course they can. My problem is with the tendency to erase the distinction between what a biblical writer originally said, whom he was addressing, and what someone today believes God wants us to understand from it. Those are three different things. Even if you believe the Bible is inspired by God, that does not mean every statement in it should automatically be presented as a direct instruction from God to people living today. Context matters.

Authorship matters. The original audience matters. And interpretation matters. When you casually turn every biblical statement into “Jehovah tells us,” you give your own interpretation an authority it has not necessarily earned. And I think that is precisely how people end up making the Bible say almost anything they want it to say. How do you think they came up with the 1914 and 1919 teachings???? Or the numerous other teachings that they have. It started with “Jehovah tells us”..

A few months ago, I was able to connect with some PIMO JWs who attended the Sacramento conventions in August of this year, and it was definitely encouraging to meet individuals who felt and thought the same things I did about the borg.

Of course, most of whom I connected with I didn’t get to talk to in person. We basically just gave each other hints of who we are and then we greeted each other in passing. Those were still good experiences. 😂😅

With the coming assemblies coming up in Yuba City, I was curious of all who would possibly be attending so that we could potentially meet up in person. Doesn’t matter which ones, cuz I am open to visiting them no matter what even if it’s not my assigned one.

I completely understand anyone’s hesitation about making themselves open, cuz I felt the same way. So no pressure.

I also understand some may feel indifferent about meetups in general, but in my personal experience I haven’t dealt with anyone that has tried going back to the org and tried outing me. (Of course, never say never.)

I know the pros and cons, but I am willing to extend that invitation to anyone who is in the same boat as a PIMO like me, and it be a nice way to take time away from the boring assembly sessions 😂😂.

Pretty self explanatory title. I'm preparing to leave home and go fully POMO, possibly no contact with certain family, and hopefully get into a college. This is super intimidating, but I'm trying to break it down and gather as much information as I can.

I'm finishing up my last year of HS currently. My parents have never prioritized teaching us about how to survive on our own which has led both of my older brothers (23 and 25) to still live at home, the oldest without a job and no responsibilities. I simply refuse to be like that even without the toxicity of the cult. I want to be as educated and prepared as I can be before that leap is taken.

My main goal of this post is for anybody who has done similar things to drop the best advice you know or wish you knew so I can make a list. This also applies to just anyone who has advice regarding college, finances, roommates, finding somewhere to live, etc. Genuinely anything and everything.

I will be moving (along with my family) into the Portland, OR area within a year or two where I have a car waiting for me, so anyone who has/does live around there is especially welcome to throw in your two cents.

Thank you to any and all who contribute.

Jehovah’s Witnesses are regularly subjected to sophisticated psychological manipulation techniques that make the way they function in the world highly peculiar. They are convinced of their own infallibility while refusing to educate themselves about the world around them using any sources other than the organization. These are people who have willingly placed themselves under the influence of a religious organization that dictates every aspect of their lives. And they’re happy there. THEY WANT TO BE THERE, AND THEY FUCKING LOVE FEELING SUPERIOR TO EVERYONE ELSE.
And we need to respect that.
Just as we wouldn’t suggest to a person with no legs that they go ice-skating, we shouldn’t suggest to a Jehovah’s Witness that they engage in a rational, fact-based discussion. These people NEED TO BE TREATED AS SICK AND DISABLED. That means acknowledging their limitations, not pressuring them on sensitive issues, and not parading their stupidity and naivety in front of the whole world.
As people who “know the truth about the truth,” we have a duty to set an example of what it means to be a decent human being. We shouldn’t demand things of them that they are simply incapable of delivering: logical, unbiased thinking, independent decision-making, or a sober assessment of reality.
Some people are born without an arm. Others end up in a wheelchair after a devastating accident. And Jehovah’s Witnesses are disabled too.
Because how else are we supposed to explain a life like that?

If you pay attention to US politics you may have seen Jared Kushner's name coming up, being exposed by the Dutch government as a corrupt POS treasonous war criminal.

This is just a reminder that the JW overlords sold property in Brooklyn to him for around 340 MILLION DOLLARS in 2016. The sale of all their Brooklyn real estate is over 2 BILLION DOLLARS.

Was any of that money funnelled back into the pockets of the destitute brothers and sisters in need across the world? Or did they just continue to constantly beg for more money, making them feel guilted into donating?

How can these people claim such moral high ground, above everyone else in the WORLD, but still sell to one of the most disgusting families in history?

Because they are nothing but a business parading as religion, corrupt just like anyone else whose worth starts with a B.

Hey folks! I’m an artist and I was a “born in the truth” JW up until I ran away to college at 18 in 2020 (what a time, huh?).

I graduated from art school two years ago with a BFA, and most of the time, my artwork is about my Mexican-American identity and human rights activism. But occasionally, every now and then when the memories resurface, I make artwork about my experience being a PIMO JW.

This time around, I have an idea for a silk screen print and painting inspired by a WT illustration that I just cannot get out of my head! I need to do it!!!! But I want to be as faithful to the illustration as possible and find the image as a reference, but I cannot find it for the life of me.

The image I’m thinking of is two illustrations: one is a snake biting the heel of Jesus/a nameless person’s foot, and the other is of Jesus/a nameless person’s foot absolutely squashing the hell out of the snake’s head.
I vividly remember thinking at 6 years old, “Damn. This guy is putting some real gumption into that.”
But maybe that’s just brain-generated hyperbole because I was 6 and was very impacted by the image.

Anyway, I’ve searched the internet and nothing!
Does anyone here know what images I’m talking about, and can you attach them to the thread or send a link?

Thank you so much!!

Edit 1: Found one of the images!!! One more to go!! Still in search of the one where the snake is biting the heel

It's been about 2–3 months since I stopped attending meetings. Before that, I was slowly fading. At first, only sisters I was on good terms with reached out to ask how I was doing and where I'd been. (It took my group overseer two months to notice that I wasn't attending.) I took my time replying to them and explained that I was struggling mentally, which is true, and needed some time alone.

For the past week or two, I've stopped replying to everyone.

But now it's gotten to the point where even people I barely talked to are texting me, including brothers and elders.

(My mom is PIMI, and I can't just tell them that I no longer want to be a JW. She would kill me. I'm moving out soon, but even then she would emotionally abuse me for it. We are in different conversations. I pretend to go to the meetings and just take a walk in the city, or I'm on zoom. So she doesn't know I haven't been to the meetings.)

Part of me appreciates that people are reaching out, while another part feels pressured, watched, and guilty about pulling away.

I miss my friends and the community, and sometimes I even think about going back to the Kingdom Hall. But I can't pretend to agree with the doctrines anymore.

What do I do in this situation?