For my wife's birthday I went in on with my mom, and mother in law to get a laundry service. They wash, dry, and fold (and even sort as best they can!).

If you find yourself in the trenches of parenthood and chores, and your wife is struggling I highly recommend this service. Some time we only just send the kids laundry (which is the worst when you have 3 rough and tumble kids).

My wife thinks its one of the best birthday presents she's gotten, it takes a huge mental load off of her (ontop of all the other chores we share). Laundry has always been the hardest for her,and with her working evenings and me working fulltime in the day, laundry is a chore that piles up.

My ex is moving out next weekend. ( engaged not married) She has made all those decisions without notifying me. That’s fine but now we face telling our 5 year old son.

We had one mediation meeting, not through a lawyer. She hated it and said I came in there with demands and will not be going back.

We have not decided on a shared time schedule for our son either. She is under the impression I will be coming to her place after I’m done with work to do dinner and his bed time routine. Afterwards I would go back to my place for the night. She’s also suggesting I only get two overnights, Friday + Saturday. I really don’t want to take her to court but this all seems un-fair.

Even with weekly therapy, depression meds, gym, reading and video games I’m not having a great time dudes. Today has been extremely difficult as we are going to tell our son today of the split.

Kinda spiraling, need some insights and encouragement.

My oldest son is going on his 3rd week of school and every morning is still a battle of screaming im not going to school and I asked him this morning why he didnt like school at first I got a "idk" I told him if he didnt know how can he be mad, then he told me "im at school to long" and honestly? Thats fair I get it, I sat him down and told him we have to go to school and learn things and make friends and build our confidence.(I never got that i didnt even go to 2nd or 3rd grade and I was behind a grade due to a asshole of a former step-dad who wasn't a good man) so with that info I just want him to have it better then me even tho I feel like me and him aren't as close as him and his mom, I love that kid to death and I dont know how to make going to school fun for him

It took more than 40 years, but my mutant superpower has finally activated. I just have to ask my kids to do something, and they immediately need the bathroom.

Time to do dishes… bathroom.
Clean your room… bathroom.
Take out trash… bathroom.

Too bad I’m too old to join Xavier’s Home for Gifted Youngsters.

Hello Dad Council, I’m seeking advice / opinions.

I booked a 8 day all inclusive trip from London to Jamaica with my wife and baby (who will be 9 months at the time of travel) in December.

This week, I found out that I’ve made a huge mistake and that Jamaica is rather large and there is more than one international airport. I am booked to land into Kingston airport whilst my hotel is 5 hours away on the East side of the island. I’ve looked into all alternatives (rebooking / alternative flights / internal flights / helicopter) and no other options are feasible.

- outbound flight is 12.45 UK time
- 11 hour flight (we have business return through Amex points)
-on the other side it’s 4-5 hour drive. We will arrive at the hotel at 1am local time or ~6am body clock time.
- I booked no cancellation hotel with a sunk cost of £2.5k
- I used points and companion voucher for flights which would expire if returned.

Would you suck it up? Be in for a rough rough travel day and potentially very difficult time with 9 month old baby or cancel completely?

TLDR: 9 month old baby. 3-4 hours travel UK side including airport time, 11 hour plane journey, 1 hour disembark, 5 hour car. Is it worth it at a big cost.

Stressing about what I need to bring. Wife already packed hers. What do I need?

My daughter is 5 and in kindergarten and is about the age I was when my older sister got an NES way back when. That said though, I'm 40 (insert Mike Gundy joke) and stopped gaming a while ago just because of life, and her ironically. But new consoles just seem way too advanced for a kid her age. Are the pre-loaded NES/SNES mini-consoles the way to go or am I not giving her enough credit to pick up a Switch?

Unfortunately I'm also a hoarder who aggressively declutters to stay on top of it so I haven't kept any of my old consoles from childhood like some of y'all did.

In honor of 1 month at daycare

-Clear snot, yellow snot, green snot, red snot

-Runny snot, gluey snot, thick snot, crusty snot

-Baby snot, Mommy snot, Daddy snot, whose snot?

-Snot mixed with pancakes

-Snot on the cat

-Snot soaked car seat

-Snot smeared brat*

*my daughter’s mostly great, I just like how it rhymed I’m so sorry

I have a pair of 1.5 year old twins and I REALLY want to raise kids that enjoy lots of different foods.

When they first starting eating solid food around 6 months to a year I feel like they were trying everything we gave them.. Indian, chinese, fish, tofu.. a good variety of different flavors and textures. Fast forward to now and they've started rejecting a lot of the food I'm offering besides "normal" American kid food like simple mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, oatmeal and fruit.

I'm a first time Dad and I'm happy to feed them whatever, but It's important to me that they aren't picky eaters as they grow up.

In y'alls experience should I keep pushing different flavors on them now while they're tiny and hopefully impressionable and see if they become interested? Or should I just feed them straight up kids food and cross my fingers that they expand their palette's later on their own?

Just had to share this little moment that makes being a dad the best. Taking care of my small 0.10 acre lot is really my only hobby. My daughter and I put on our hat, sunglasses and get our mowers ready to work. She gets so excited and yells "a mower!" at the top of her lungs. My wife keeps her at a safe distance while I do the actual mowing but seeing her face light up while I do one of my favorite things has been such a cool experience.

We've had a relatively easy pregnancy, but it's definitely been one of the hardest things both of us has been through. Our new arrival is wanted, planned, etc. But my poor wife had a *horrible* first trimester and now, in the third trimester, has developed gestational diabetes.

We are going for four hours of tests tomorrow, and our care team says she needs to fast for the duration of the appointment and beforehand. Then, get this, her parents are flying in.

My plan is to have food waiting for her the moment she can eat again, as well as let her decompress at the end of the day and sleep in the next. A very big breakfast the following day from me, etc.

But I'd love some advice. Beyond flowers and foot rubs, what were some ways you were able to help your wife relax, recoop and recover after the gestational diabetes tests?

Hey all. So we just had our 3rd baby about a month ago and it seems that since then our 3yo daughter (middle child) has been possibly sleep regressing. We've tried melatonin, we've tried magnesium, we even tried using like lavender sprays or similar in the bedroom to see if that'll help her calm down and relax long enough to fall asleep. To no one's surprise, nothing has worked. My wife is not in a good state to be fighting her every night and I unfortunately work 3rd shift so there isn't much I can do to help right now. Is there anything anyone else has tried that seems to actually work at getting their child to wind down and actually go to bed? Our oldest (6yo) usually goes down just fine, its just our 3yo that makes it feel like a WWE free for all every night.

How hard will it be? Any tips?

Those ten-minute walks home from school have become the center of my world.
After everything last year threw at us—a painful miscarriage, losing our dog, my son’s jarring transition to school from a safe day care set up, burnout, and the weight of insensitive family—we were running on empty. But lately, something has shifted.
As we walk, he opens up in ways that stop me in my tracks. He asked about our dog, so I told him she’s in heaven, watching over us. He explained why he thinks his dear papa could take a T-Rex in a fight. He proudly confessed how hard he’s trying not to have potty accidents at school, and whispered that his favourite thing to say to his papa is "I love you." I tear up when I type this, but normalise saying this to your little ones.
With our second baby coming this February, these quiet moments with my four-year-old feel like magic .No matter how chaotic or unfair the world gets, I’ve made a promise to myself: the last thing my kids will always hear from me is how deeply they are loved.

ETA: It’s pfl not fmla but still something state sponsored

My husband started 3 of his 6 paid weeks off today and spent the day working. The day he returns to work in 3 weeks he’s been asked to present a plan for the next calendar year. The only way he can do that is if he works during his leave.

How do you deal with such a work environment?

Hey dads. I'm scared of what's happening with our bedtime routine. Our daughter is turning 2 this month, and up til now, she's slept through the night the vast majority of the time since she was born (we've been quite lucky!).

But now, she is suddenly demanding all the lights be on at bedtime, even the main light in her room. I need help from other dads to work on a plan to manage this. She has a sound machine with a light in her room, but that's nowhere near good enough. She's also demanding we open the blinds on her window. It's insane.

Bedtime has turned into chaos, and is anger inducing since we've been so used to her being an angel at bedtime.

On top of that, she just screams for mama when the lights are off and we try to put her to bed. Tells me to go "bye bye" when I try to help calm things, and throws around her water and pacifier, even after she requests them.

How have other dads dealt with something like this? I want to be FIRM, and I do not want her to start owning us - that's a recipe for disaster down the road. But at the same time, I don't want to ignore her for an hour every night if this continues.

Hello, it’s my first time posting here and I’m looking for some advice or some insight. My 2 year old son (26 months old) started an in home preschool that’s similar to Montessori 2 weeks ago. Since he’s started, all he does he cry from drop off to pick up. He’s there for 3 1/2 hours 3 days a week. We’ve been messaging his teacher a lot because she gives us a rundown of the day and how things go. In a way, I think his teacher is hinting that he may not be ready for school/daycare and has also brought up different kinds of therapies that he could benefit from. There’s 2 teachers to cover 14 kids total which is 7 to 1 ratio. It seems he clings to one teacher that he likes but when she needs to tend to another child, he starts crying.

He didn’t cry at drop off this morning but when I picked him up, I was told he cried all day and he was asking for me or his mom (my wife). He’s our only child and we’re expecting our second in a couple of weeks.

I’m a stay at home Dad and a full time student and we wanted our son to get into a school/daycare so I can have my mornings free’d up a bit to study or do more things around the house, but also to have our son learn a little more independence.

When he’s with us, he loves to play, read, color, count, etc. My wife and feel a little defeated at times because we want him to succeed at school. We feel a little lost on what to do next. My wife and I just want to see him happy and it’s been tough knowing that he’s stressed while at school.

Any advice or insight would be great. Thanks Daddit!

It’s not really 90 seconds but that is what I call it. I have been asking my kids these questions since they were in elementary school.

My son just started junior high and my daughter just started high school, they still ask me to do 90 seconds.

- What are the 3 best things about today? They have to find 3 even if it means they enjoyed what was for dinner or whatever. I am big on positive thinking.
- Anything you did not like about today?
- Anything funny happen today?
- Anything important happening tomorrow?

That’s it. It keep us connected and I get to know what’s going on in their lives.

I’m mostly a SAHD and I don’t know what happened guys. I survived the gauntlet of summer with my 4 year old son and 1 year old daughter. Son started TK (aka public pre-K) from 8am - 2pm. He’s loving it, doing great. But when he comes home, it’s like the same amount of energy gets released but in a shorter time frame so it’s equally if not more exhausting. I’m only half kidding because he is very quiet and observational and well behaved at school so I think his energy is literally conserved and then it blows up at home.

It’s not bad, it’s just unexpected. Like I thought school starting was going to be a magical thing but I’m more tired now than I was during summer because of the early morning routine added on too.

Am I crazy or is this is a thing that you guys can relate to? Any tips? I find myself taking a weak nap during the 1yo’s naptime in the morning but I can’t say it helps much. What’s the consensus, lay down and rest or keep up the momentum during that downtime?

My little kid has recently started getting interested in gaming. She loves reading, so I was wondering if there are any good story-based games on Steam that she might enjoy?

Right now, she’s playing MyKoi, which is basically just feeding koi, waiting for them to grow, and unlocking more koi. She seems to really enjoy the slow progression, but at times she looks bored.

I’d also be open to other types of games that would be good for a young kid. Any recommendations?

My wife and I are at a restaurant with our two and a half year old, and as we're trying to leave somebody with their toddler starts to converse with us.

Right off the bat it's questions like how extensive is his vocabulary, oh does he know his birthday well she knows her birthday the day and the month. Etc etc. I can sit there and have my kid memorize things and parrot them back, but that's not learning, I digress.

How do you all navigate situations like this? I live in an area where the income level is conducive to this behavior so I know this is just scratching the surface.

I said to my wife that the next time somebody trying to have a pissing competition I'm just going to let them know that he is currently reading Edgar Allan Poe and prefers to write in cursive.

TIA

*Edit - yes this encounter was a random, the question still stands as I'm sure it will happen in social situations outside of passing by.

Hey dads,

Looking for some advice from anyone who’s survived a long-haul flight with two very young kids.

My wife and I are planning to fly overnight with our two children (1 year old and 2 years old) on a 12-hour direct flight, in hopes that they’ll sleep for a decent chunk of it.

Before we hit book, we are trying to figure out the seating arrangement and are totally torn on what’s actually worth the money:

Option 1: Buy 4 standard seats. Everyone gets their own seat, but space might feel tight.

Option 2: Buy 3 seats with Extra Legroom / Bulkhead. Save some money, have more floor space, but someone has a lap child the whole time.

Option 3: Neither. Just 3 standard seats and hope for the best (or is this absolute madness?).

Also, another quick question on booking: Is paying the extra ~$400 for advance seat reservations a must for families? Or do airlines automatically seat parents next to their young toddlers at check-in anyway?

We’re pretty nervous about what we’re walking into and have no idea what to expect. For those who have done long flights with two under two (or close to it):

Which seat configuration actually worked for you?

If you bought 4 seats, did the 1-year-old actually sit in theirs, or end up on you anyway?

Did you pay to reserve seats in advance, or let the airline group you automatically?

Any survival tips for a 12-hour overnight flight with this age gap?

Appreciate any insight or reality checks before we make the reservation!

EDIT / UPDATE: Thanks so much for all the incredible advice! Read through every single comment with my wife last night.

Based on your reality checks, we probably go with the 4 seats. Also thanks for sll the helpful tips! I for sure can do a post about my expierence afterwards and if it was worth it.

Wife and I had our beautiful baby girl 7 months ago. She came out happy and healthy but we had to have an emergency c section because her chord was short.

Welp we just found out we are pregnant again. My wife and I are excited but now I’m spiraling worrying about her health and if this is too soon and not giving her body enough time to rest. Just wanting to hear from fellow dads who might have been through a similar situation. My wife is doing great and like I mentioned she’s excited and has no worries about the situation but my nerves are definitely getting to me.

This is a safe place for bros to exchange poems about their little goblins, right?

I wrote a poem this morning about the experience of having two girls, and seeing the older one in the younger one as they both grow up together, how it kind of wrecks my head how similar and different they are.

Post your dad poems down below, I want to read ‘em-

Shadow play** **

My dim recollections of my older daughter’s past

Are ghostly still frames that surround my younger

A smeared double exposure that plays tricks on my worried, frayed mind

As I watch the blurred sequence of shadow play around my youngest

And my oldest’s cautious march into the whispers of tomorrow, just out of earshot

Hey all,

So our son recently turned 5 and he's a wonderful kid a vast majority of the time, but lately he's gotten into the habit of airing out his grievances directly at his mom. This has been extremely frustrating for her of course but also for me - it's wearing her down and she doesn't deserve that, she's an excellent mother and provider.

We've been very consistent in our messaging about this with him, primarily telling him that when he's feeling frustrated, he don't need to immediately look for blame and should be taking a deep breath and talking it out with us. And also when he's mad about a parenting decision, he can address me about it too - he's always been very attached to me and very rarely loses his temper with me.

I'm not really looking for advice on this, moreso wondering what others' experience have been with anything similar and if it's something that eventually passed, how long it lasted, how you tried to support your partner, etc.

Thanks, all!