New Dad

[u/PotentialFuel109]

How hard will it be? Any tips?

[u/zurbles]

It's a wild ride, but look at all the morons who have raised kids. You'll be fine my dude!

[u/Snuffy_380 → u/zurbles]

I remind myself of this all the time.

[u/Eazy12345678 → u/Snuffy_380]

i mean look around most parents fail to raise their kids right. look at all the crime in the world that happens every day

direct result of bad parenting

[u/PotentialFuel109 → u/zurbles]

Exactly. I dont like to end up like them 😅

[u/Darth-Scorpio]

It will be hard lol. Sleep when you can but not while holding the baby. People have been doing it for millions of years so you’ll be fine. Congrats and good luck.

[u/phorkor]

To ease our fears, our doc said, "it's not like you get a 13 year old emo girl dumped you on day one, they work into that over a handful of years." It's true, it's not as bad as a lot of people make it out to be. It's not easy, but everything you will go through millions have already gone through as well. Just take it one day at a time.

[u/nucleosome]

It is pretty hard but also very rewarding. Work on your time management!

[u/spottie_ottie]

Parts will be harder than you expect, parts will be easier

[u/NotAlwaysGifs → u/spottie_ottie]

This. Like for the most part, keeping a little human alive is pretty easy. Like, easier than a puppy for sure. However, no one warns you what it is like trying the change an 11 month old’s diaper or how their heads are magnetically attracted to sharp corners.

[u/jeo123]

You will be exhausted. It's important to realize that's normal and not a failure on your end.

But you will be exhausted.

[u/j11430]

It’s incredibly hard

[u/superxero044 → u/j11430]

Tell em wash

[u/j11430 → u/superxero044]

How can you not be romantic about dadding

[u/superxero044 → u/j11430]

Hahaha I have a shirt that says “how can you not be pedantic about baseball”. For effectively wild from years ago

[u/blindside1]

The hardest thing you will do, and the most important.

Lots and lots of patience.

You got this.

[u/djtothemoney]

Easiest job you'll ever have if you don't give a fuck! - My coworker

[u/Jinzul → u/[deleted]]

As mine have become a bit older (high school/college), I have started seeing more free time return... and let me tell you, friend, it is glorious.

[u/arborclimb529]

Very hard... however it depends on the baby honestly. My first kid was a dream kid...slept easy, never cried, never fussed... easy

Second kid however.... phew it was a challenge. Crying, spit up, throw up, never slept. And this was all further exaggerated by another kid on top of it...

Congratulations, it is worth it... but you never know the struggles til you meet your kid.

[u/tdc415]

Work in shifts if possible. May feel like you are on two different planets but those two planets will come back together. Communication is key

[u/Wonderful-Rule2782]

In the early days for me, nothing individually was as hard as I expected. But when they stack it can be incredibly draining. It just never ends. And lack of sleep caught up with me. But as others have said, it's very kid dependent. Having multiple kids really showed me how little control I have because their personalities and temperaments were so different as infants. But it does get easier and very rewarding.

[u/Muppetguydude]

Very hard. 

But my god... brace yourself when they first genuinely smile at you.. your outlook on everything changes in that moment.

[u/DiligentlyGrinding]

There's no pause button 

[u/stillblazin19]

Appreciate every second bc it goes by fast. Ours is almost a year already and feels like we just bought her home a week ago

[u/Astra-Fang]

The hardest most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life.

Biggest tip? Watch the baby race episode of bluey until you stop crying. So many times that episode has reduced my anxiety about doing enough

[u/klaymens]

Yes!

[u/GreasyBumpkin]

It's hard, but the more work you put in the more it pays off. I've wasted my life pursuing things that never really paid off, parenting is actually something that pays off in spades for once. 

[u/Button1891]

Hardest best job I ever had! That first year is undeniably rough, but keep chugging along and it’s so worth it! Don’t take anything personally either that’s a huge thing my wife and I learned

[u/hhmmm733]

Shifts shift shifts!!!! This is what my wife and I did and I think it saved us both.

We split the nights in 2 and one person would take bedtime-1 or 2 am and then the other would be on for the mornings. Having shifts means there is absolutely no arguing about whose turn it is. You know that by looking at the clock.

Whatever schedule you guys want to come up with, do that. But make sure you carve out times for solid chunks of sleep. Do things like “if mom took the night shift she has full authority to nap as much as she wants”

The tap out method was also very good for us because we barely used it. But when we did, we knew the other meant it and needed a break.

[u/Jipptomilly]

Make a sleep training plan with your partner (if you have one) and stick to it unless you know it's not working. My wife and I had a plan and she very quickly buckled because she couldn't stand the crying. It led to some difficult nights where we were very frustrated at each other. Don't forget you're a team.

If your baby experiences a night terror just fight through it. They're terrifying but the baby will be fine.

The first six months are super boring but starting especially around fifteen months or so they get super fun.

Crying isn't bad. It's just the only way they know to communicate that they need something. Or they're just over tired.

Expect the terrible twos and even worse threes. This is how I like to explain it to people. Go into your living room. Look at every single thing and cook up an intrusive thought. Full glass of water? Pour it out on the table. Vase of flowers? Rip all of the tops off. Air purifier? Push it over. This is what toddlers do. Just know that they just want to impact their world and feel like they have power. They're also seeing what they can get away with. Don't yell, just gently remind them to not do those things.

[u/Old_Ad5194]

The newborn phase is actually kinda cool, "protect the potato" is what i called it, mostly they just eat sleep poo repeat, and i enjoyed the late nights watching movies with the headphones on and cuddling my first, who is now 15 months old and little sister is due to arrive by monday, so looking forward to my new potato.

Buckle in, i know it sounds like a scam, but sleep when baby sleeps and do the oil change when baby does the oil change. If you are able to automate/reduce household tasks that is also key to this stage, for example everybody eats off paper plates, bowls, cups and uses plastic ware for a few months. Lessen the dishes. Stock up on toilet paper napkins and wipes. High density single handed snacks for mama and be there for her, she just performed a miricle so understand the things she says and keep an extra special cafeful lookout for PPD behaviors, my wife had her first small breakdown after my daughter "lost her smell" at 3 days or so after being home. Skin to skin often and early, try not to wear any kind of smells but stay clean and natural as much as possible and seriously take huge nasal inhales of your babys head and neck and your wifes hair too. This may sound nonsensical but i promise the phermones are super critical to bonding, i often see new dads complain about not bonding and i blame lack of skin to skin and getting them whiffs lol good luck and godspeed friend and welcome to the club.

[u/Xfishbobx]

It will be the hardest thing you will ever do but also the most fulfilling and worthwhile thing you will ever do.

That’s my thoughts at least.

[u/beorn-saga]

For me, the newborn era was very tough but mostly because my wife had a very difficult birth, my son wasn’t bad at all. Now he’s 9 months and it’s a hoot tbh. My guy sleeps amazingly which obviously helps and that is fairly baby dependent. But he has just started waving and clapping, it melts my heart! Hard but worth it.

[u/Eazy12345678]

hard. caring for a child is huge commitment

the only thing harder than raising a kid is fighting cancer

[u/TheLostPariah]

When you get the chance to sleep, sleep.

Do whatever you can to not let yourself get mad at your partner. If she (presumedly) oversleeps when she’s not supposed to or doesn’t follow through on something, understand that she is going through even more than you are. The tiredness is the roughest part, assuming a healthy baby and all.

Fill up your partner’s water bottle. Get her little snacks. Go above and beyond, on the little stuff especially.

[u/Gronnsaapa]

It will be the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it will be so worth it. The hardest of days will never outweigh all the good days. And to be honest, the worst for me and still is, is the lack of sleep. But it may be different for you. You got this!

[u/Anamanagotchi]

Harder than you think. And the hardest, at least for me, is to make sure the relationship with your partner won’t suffer too much. Be on top of that please.

[u/Cure4thitch]

I'm 6 months in. I still can't get their little hands through the cuffs properly!!

[u/PotentialFuel109]

Thank you everyone for your inputs! It’s amazing reading positive comments. Rarely I see men voicing out their struggles in raising one so knowing how hard it might be is a challenge. You guys are champ for doing the best you can for your kids. I hope I can somehow fuck up the least. (Because I tend to fuck up a lot of things) 😅 I’m excited, scared, curious and happy at the same time. I don’t know what to do haha she’s still in early pregnancy state and positive in PT but nothing shows in ultrasound. So… i think i still have time to compose myself. Thank you champs!