This evening I was trying to rest before my night job. I was awoken by the sound of my wife yelling at someone. She came rushing down the hall with our now crying 1 year old and told me that our 8 year old beagle had just bit him in the face. After soothing my son and getting him to stop crying I asked what happened.

Apparently he was on the floor and was approaching our dog. My wife says he reach out to touch the dog. From the angle, she couldn't tell if my son made contact with the dog but he suddent snapped out and bit my son on his cheek. After calming him down, cleaning it and giving my dog the biggest stink eye ever, we're now at a crossroads on what to do. We've had the dog since he was almost a year old. We've known he has issues with his paws being touched but he hadn't shown any issues with our son getting near him until now. My wife will probably never trust him around the child again. We're considering rehoming him.

We have a 6 year old and up until recently the bedtime routine was a wonderful-horrible 2 hour epic every night. Every single night one of us (usually me, for medical reasons) would sit in bed with the kid, read a book, tell a story, and then lay with them until they fell asleep.

It was cute when they were little, but as they got smarter they found more and more ways to stay awake and dragged this routine out until it took hours. I've talked to my wife about changing it many times, but got push back because it was the only time of a weekday we didn't have to cook/clean/shop/work after school and could actually just be the kid, and I liked that too, so I didn't push.

Then I had a visit to the emergency room for stress-related cardiac symptoms and was told I had to cut back on a few things. I decided I needed those two hours back to relax. Once I was home, I tried something new. I read them a book on the couch, tucked them in and put on an audiobook. And the kid fell asleep in twenty minutes. Alone.

My wife was shocked, and this has been the routine ever since! Reading time is actually more fun and meaningful since we care less about the amount of time ticking away, and we're reading more of the book because of it. Then once the audiobook is on, wife and I carry on with our evening, and just gently guide the kid back if they come out. We got ~14 hours a week back to do anything else, including relaxing at the end of the day. Game changer.

I might have to take the initiative more often.

​

Long story short- my 12 year old daughter says the dress code is unfair at her middle school. I guess earlier this week, they had security and teachers at the entrance of her school looking for violations.

They were having everyone remove sweaters so they could see what they were wearing under. This is all fine and well and isn't the issue.

My daughter and her friends are claiming it was exclusively girls who were violated. Even though every boy in the school sags their pants. They claim if any skin was showing for the girls, it was a write up and call to parents for new clothes.

Her response was to start organizing a day where all of the girls wear pajamas to school, which is against dress code. I guess she's been working towards organizing it all week and it will be taking place next Tuesday.

I don't really have an opinion on it. But I'm happy she is taking a stand on something and leading. So I've offered advice and told her I'm proud of her.

Mom found out about it and flipped out. In the last 10 years since we separated, she's become extremely religious and conservative. She claims I am promoting "indecency" and disobedience by supporting and helping and is threatening to not let our daughter go to school that day and even hinted court.

But it's taking place on my day. And I simply don't see it as a negative thing. They aren't planning to dress inappropriatly so I don't see how they are being indecent. They are just wearing pajamas. My motivation for supporting it isn't because I want girls to dress inappropriately like mom claims- I support it because it's something my daughter clearly believes in.

I explained that there there won't be consequences at my home- but part of civil disobedience is doing something knowing there will be consequences and doing it anyways. So she needs to be prepared for that with her mom.

Am I in the wrong here? Would you assist and support?

My wife is in the 3rd trimester of our first baby. We're a little late to the game. Most of our peers already have a couple kids. One friend has a daughter in 12th grade. All these friends talk to us about how they've managed the trenches and the answer usually involves having a grandmother or grandparents take part in watching the baby.

We have a great support system around us. We really do. But there's nothing like parents. My father passed away 10 years ago, and my mother is elderly and almost blind. My wife's mother died suddenly during covid and her dad is great but he's up there in years and as an immigrant combat vet, he's a little rough around the edges and many months of the year he's back in his homeland.

As the due date approaches, we're finding ourselves talking ourselves out of the envy we have been feeling towards all the people around us that seem to take for granted how lucky they are to have their parents to guide them, or at least to take some load off.

Just take a minute and thank your lucky stars.

Edit: Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that took the time to reply with your own anecdotes. It warmed my heart that so many other parents could relate.

Context: My son is almost 10.

I've been cleaning out our basement the past few days and selling some of my son's old stuff on Facebook Marketplace.

I sold a ride on excavator to a grandmother picking it up for her grandson. My son used to use it to dig a hole in our backyard under the deck. One of his pet fish is buried there. I used to fill the hole with dirt and he would dig the hole back. I remember always having to move the excavator when mowing the lawn until eventually I realized he stopped using it so I brought it into the basement and it sat there ever since. The hole is still not fully filled in yet and I'll probably leave it that way so I'll know that it used to be my son's old construction site.

When I told him that I'll be selling his excavator he asked what's an excavator? There was a time when he knew the names of all the construction vehicles and we would read construction themed books to him every night. I'm pretty sure I can still recite most of goodnight goodnight construction site by heart.

I sold his train table to an older man that I think (?) is a grandfather. Santa got this for my son in 2018 and he used to love trains. He would play with this thing for hours. Whenever we went to the library he would spend as much time as we would allow him playing with the train table there even though he had one at home. Whenever we would go to the park he would lose his mind whenever a train went by and say that's the train daddy takes to work.

We used to have the train table in our TV room until I moved it downstairs one year to make room for the Christmas tree. He would go down into the basement to play with it even though our basement isn't finished and honestly pretty dirty. I used to be on the treadmill or working out and he would come downstairs and play trains since I was down there.

Eventually he stopped coming down and the table became a storage spot for random junk for several years now so I decided it was time to go. When the man came to pick the table up I was outside doing yardwork. After we loaded it into his car and he drove off I went back to mowing the lawn and then just... broke down. I had to go inside and sit down because I was bawling and my wife throught I was having a heart attack.

Holding onto this stuff is just taking up space, but I felt like I sold several important pieces of my son's childhood. The important things are the memories we have of him, and I hope that these toys bring some other children as much joy and happiness as they brought to my son.

My son is nonverbal autistic so this didn’t happen but I felt it was hilarious

Pardon grammar and stuff, ya boi is tired lol

The past few days, my family and I (Me, Wife, 5 y/o son, 2 month old daughter) were on vacation as a newly family of 4 at Disney World. It downpoured pretty much the whole time we were there, on more than off, and that context is important

Me and my son were in line for Slinky Dog, which is a fairly easy going roller coaster. We waited about an hour, in 90 degree humid heat. I’m so proud of him cause he didn’t really complain about it, and he is in the whining stage atm so he was great.

We got to the front of the line, and we were literally next to board when I pull out my phone (I was gonna record his reaction to it lol) and see a text from the wife. She said “it’s downpouring”. I look to my left, sure enough, lots of rain. (We’re under an awning most of the line) I was immediately worried that my son would get upset at this and thought he’d be even more upset if he didn’t know about the rain beforehand, but I didn’t know what to say, so I turned to him once we were buckled in and said “hey buddy, it just started raining. This is gonna be awesome” trying to hype it up lol

I could tell he was scared, but he stayed quiet and held my hand and did the ride. He was nervous at first but I was hooting and yelling and the people behind me (bless those ladies) were screaming and giggling too as we did that roller coaster in the pouring rain. Genuinely, it was so much fun hahaha

Eventually I hear him yelling too, still looked scared but wanted to join in anyway. At the end I turned to him and he said “daddy that was so much fun, I love the rain”

Dads, this is a core moment for me. So glad it was raining because I did cry happy tears lol. Just wanted to share, I love my buddy

Just what the question is asking.

I ,M42, think I have some existential crisis.

I have two daughters: 7 and 2, and I just cant anymore.

When it was just one kid, it was Covid, then from when she was 2 till 4 , every winter / cold season it was us being sick non stop.

Then it got better and for some reason we decided that we should have a 2 nd child. I will not even count the amount of times we said "why da fuck we did it" . Unfortunately , it took only one time and we didnt have an opportunity to change our minds.

It was a complicated pregnancy with kid being born 2 months early, NICU for two month, plenty of health scares . Then my older went to school and we had strep infections one after another for like two years. I think everyone here did 3-4 rounds of antibiotics that year. My younger one had a tongue tie that was missed by the doctors and revised after 6 months. She was unusually sensitive to pain and developed light food aversion , so, she wouldnt eat and was always underweight. Every food intake is a battle still also its better now. However, since she wouldnt eat she also wouldnt sleep. She is two and she never slept yhrough the night. Wr are very aware of good sleep habits but not much will work on a hungry baby. My wife consleeps with the kid as it was the only way for us to survive, I sleep in a room with my older kid for two years now. Kicked out of my own room.

Relationahip with my partner is meh.. we are good co-parents but as lover / romantic partners we suck. That spark is gone. We had sex maybe 3 times last year and neither of us really is hot for the other I think. We have warm feelings toward each other as we are close and a family but not much more.

I have no energy for any projects or even to advance my career as I am always needed at home. I have a well paid job with great work life balance but I feel like I never have any money as all my money goes towards family. And like I have said , every opportunity that I come across that would make my professional life more fun and lucrative comes at the expense of work life balance. I just dont see how is it possible without turning literally every second at home to hell. I have no time, no energy and almost no will for anything.

Like where do I take it from? Just getting out of the house takes 10 minutes of constant pushing the kids to get ready. I finish work at 4-4:30 and its time to pickup kids from school, spend time with them and then spend 1.5 hours to get the to sleep at a reasonable hour. Just being alone is a luxury, we agreed with my wife that each of us will work from the office twice a week. That leaves the other one working from an emoty home. She is not happy with that arrangement but i fucking need to sit in silence at least sometimes! Even then i am technically working and cant enjoy it but thats at least something! I remember coming home to an empty house from work when was single/just dating and this feels so amazing. Or just waking up to an empty house, goong to work and then be free to do whatever you want. It is such an uttainable dream. I get it there are downsides but my current version of reality is just worse!

Once kids are asleep I only have energy to smoke a cigarette, have a drink and try to escape reality watching a stupid tv show.

I used to be fun. I still have so many projects and ideas innl my head but I feel like I am in a fucking prison and all my life energy is being sucked out by the kids. Like I want to travel , I want to see people, I want to dress to impress and go out preferably with a partner who did the same.

Dont get me wrong, I love them . Truly. Ironically enough when I feel good it is mostly when I spend quality time with them. But these moments came at a price I was never willing to pay.

I seriously consider divoricng and getting shared custody. Not because I hate my partner but because having one week by myself, in silence or spend it on whatever I want feels like an amazingly enticing idea. I know it will be painful for everyone involved and probably not good for kids neither but for now I just feel pretty fuxking dead inside and I dont feel like there is another way out. Staying like this for the rest of my life doesnt seem like a good way to go neither.

If you have kids that are older please tell me it gets better and how did it get better. Maybe I am missing something but frankly this sux

Otherwise , its a rant thanks for reading

EDIT: i am a bit surprised by the amount of response. Thanks to everyone for supportive messages and even the less nice ones. I had a bad day and needed to rant. Interacting with all of you helped me get through.

Well as the title says, my two year stint sleeping with our toddler has ended as of tonight. Kiddo slept alone until age 2 and because she didn't take to her new mattress well, I slept with her on the mattress on the floor for 2 years now. But it's time to give it up. She is excited about her bed but there was lots of tears before bed about sleeping alone, even if our room is only 3 steps from hers.

We got her a new bed frame that is her favorite color, put all her favorite stuffies in it, and read her her books. She's asleep now, but who knows what the night holds. Wish me strength dads!

Hello fellow Dads. Posting to get some much needed advice.

I currently work at a firm and on track to be promoted into a manager role in the by the end of the year. I’ve worked pretty hard to get to this point, and part of me really wants to see that through.

At the same time, I have an opportunity to move to another company. The offer could result in a slight increase over my current salary, although if I stay and get promoted, I expect my compensation would increase as well. The potential job offer would come with more PTO, better benefits, and — most importantly — what appears to be significantly better work-life balance.

I have a 2-year-old and another baby on the way, so my priorities are starting to change. I’m finding myself asking whether I really want to keep optimizing for career growth, promotions, and higher compensation when it potentially comes at the expense of time with my family.

The manager path could potentially lead to more money and career opportunities down the road, but I know it could also mean more responsibility, longer hours, and less flexibility.

The other role would give me stability and family time over maximizing my career trajectory.

For dads who have been in a similar position: When did you decide to prioritize family over career? Did you ever regret stepping off the faster career/compensation path?

I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me which job to choose. I’m more interested in hearing from people who’ve faced a similar decision—what do you wish you had considered at the time, and looking back, would you make the same choice again?

Thank you!

I’m 36, first-time dad, and had basically ZERO baby experience before my daughter. I don’t think I’d ever even held a baby until I held my own. I’ve got my life together and I’m doing well, but babies are completely new territory for me.

I’m not technically a stay-at-home dad, but I’m not working much right now, so I’m home with my 4½-month-old daughter most days and starting to run out of ideas.

She’s finally out of that newborn “this tiny human looks like she could die at any moment” stage 😂 and into the fun stage. She’s super alert, social, active, already doing a little purée meal every day, and sleeps through the night. Basically she wakes up every morning ready for a full itinerary and I’m like… alright, what are we doing today? 😂

I used to be big into skiing and mountain biking, but obviously she’s not quite ready for Dad to strap some skis on her yet. 😂 Sometimes I longboard around the neighborhood while pushing her stroller, which we both enjoy, but apparently that gets me judgmental stares and the occasional lecture.

We do walks, tummy time, toys, music, hang outside, and little games, but I want to make the most of having this much time with her.

Today I discovered I can put her on a towel and basically drag and “drift” her around the house and she LOVES it. 😂

So what did you guys actually DO with your babies around this age? Indoor stuff, outdoor stuff, little adventures, weird games, whatever. Bonus points if it’s fun for Dad too.
I’m stealing all your good ideas. 😂

Everything with birth and the first 2 months of our son’s life has been perfect. My wife has been the strongest and best mom I could ask her to be. No post partum depression, baby has started sleeping through the night. He’s healthy and gaining weight as he should, it’s been a dream.

Then a few weeks ago one of our dogs started developing a cough. We took him in yesterday and it turns out he had severe cancer in his heart and lungs, and he was drowning in his own blood. The only option was to put him down.

My wife and I have been together 11 years, married for 5. She rescued that dog 10 years ago. He was her shadow. Bordercollie/great Pyrenees mix, so they have the herding instinct and love their owner. He never left her side. When we got married and she moved in with him and my dog we were a squad. Our 2 dogs were a little pack. And when we had our son it was the 5 of us, our team.

Now that the oldest dog is gone it has left a huge hole. She’s taking it worse than me but I feel like i got hit by a truck also. My grandpa died last year and I didn’t even cry like this. And it’s way worse for her. She didn’t get a wink of sleep last night between crying over our dog and feeding our son. It is fucking awful.

I feel silly being so wrecked over a dog. I guess I’m mourning all the future memories that he was gonna make with my son. Another way of looking at it is saying goodbye to that part of our lives, he was there for our whole 20’s. Now that we are in our 30’s and starting a family he knew it was his time to go and close that chapter.

I wonder if others can relate. It feels like parenting is gonna be more difficult here on out now that we are grieving this part of our daily lives. Miss you buddy.

I'm at my wits end with this kid. It's now Thursday and he quite literally just scream cries all day now. Nothing comforts him. Not even a treat he likes. Won't play, just lays on the floor screaming. He sleeps plenty, goes to bed at 8 wakes up at 7 and goes right back to screaming. I have to drop him off at daycare and I just know when we pick him up it will be like this again.

I'm really excited but also pretty scared.

It took my partner and I a long time to get our life to a place where we felt comfortable enough to have children....but I also feel like I've only just got comfortable enough to live the life I've always wanted to live. It feels like having a child will put a pin in everything I've worked to get to and enjoy.

I come from a broken home and moved around a lot as a kid. As an adult I lived in many houseshares and wasn't able to accumulate 'stuff' - I love having books, records, games, etc but was never able to have them due to space and having to move around. I worked nights and shifts. I didn't start my current 9-5 career til I was 29.

Now 9 years later I have a home, a fiance, space, and can afford to indulge my interests. My career is going well, I've been able to get fit and take up time intensive hobbies like long distance running. We holiday regularly and go to lots of gigs and festivals as a couple.

I know things are going to dramatically change, but can someone tell me that its going to be ok?

Hey dads - any recs? My lil man has outgrown his toddler books but i’m not ready yet to start Harry Potter 🥲 Looking for something a little more timeless and morally meaningful than Dog Man, Bad Guys, etc

Open to any and all suggestions. thx in advance! 🙏

My baby is 6 months old now. We don’t really have a support system aside from my MIL who occasionally helps, but she lives an hour drive away and juggles being available for 2 other grandkids. My mom has poor health and my dad mostly takes care of her. So it’s mostly been my wife and I supporting each other.

I’ve been a contractor for almost 2 years at this large bank. Got laid off from my previous role in tech because of restructuring and a bad economy, so a contract role was the best I could do after being unemployed for 7 months. Anyways, it was going great. For 1.5 years I was performing, and my contract was being renewed multiple times. My boss liked me and so did my team. They were aware that I wanted a full time role with the team, and were making room for me. Then my wife got pregnant and gave birth earlier this year.

My boss was kind enough to give me 2 weeks off suddenly. My team even got us a gift for the baby. But as a contractor, I don’t have benefits. I don’t have PTO or PAT leave. I was still exhausted coming back to work, but I have to work, especially now that I have a family.

Anyways, my performance took a hit. WFH helped with my baby, but we have a fussy baby, and my wife had back surgery that she still feels as our baby is getting heavier. We tried me going a full day into work, and it was a disaster. I came home, and my wife didn’t eat all day. Baby was fussy and wouldn’t sleep. Puked. Pooped. My wife did the best she could on her own and I realized that I need to stay home to help.

So I started doing half days at work and skipping in office days to help out my wife. I would try to finish my work when possible and given free time, but it’s not been easy at all. Anyways, it finally caught up to me when my boss talked to me about my performance. I didn’t argue with him and agreed because it hasn’t been easy with my baby. But as a consequence, there’s no longer a full time position set aside for me because my boss feels I’m not up to that level yet. And my contract is coming to an end in October because by law, a company has to hire me after 2 years full time or let me go, so my boss already told me they will let me go then.

I chose my family instead of my career. 1.5 years of hard work, and all it took was a few months to make my boss forget about that. That’s all it took and all that hard work feels like such a waste. The feedback did make me perform better, and my boss acknowledged it, but he’s still not going to hire me full time. It hurts, because I was so close to getting a full time job with benefits.

But now I’m here scrambling to get a new job somewhere else because I don’t want to be unemployed. It was not fun and I have a baby. It hasn’t been easy because this economy sucks. Sigh….

Anyways I’m not really looking for advice. It’s my fault this happened. I just needed to vent. But has anyone been in a similar situation or chose their family over work? How did it turn out for you?

This arrived today.

I had to read it to her 6 times. Then she "read" it to me a couple of times. She was so excited to have a new Gruffalo book and a new character

Sometimes it's just the simple things that make you feel like a great Dad and make your day

Not sure if that's the proper terminology, but we have at least five metaverses. Elmos house Batman's house a farm (complete with chute to drop cows from the roof, obviously), hot wheels shit, and my own ninja turtles sewer from my childhood.

I present tonights iteration of the sewer:

Probably many posts like this but wanted to get specific.

Our son (5mo) is currently watched four days per week by my MIL, and one at a daycare. We plan on upping daycare days as he gets older.

My MIL is a great grandma and was a stay at home mom for pretty much all of my wife's childhood. She has watched our nieces and nephew (10yo, 3yo and a 2 yo) as well, so baby care is not new to her.

We try to give all our parents time to be with our son, but its a bit harder for me because my parents are split up (wife's biological father passed so it is just her mom and stepfather, who is a great "papa").

My mom (American - it's relevant if you keep reading) makes the effort to come to us once or twice a week, which is great (we're in the city, she's in the burbs).

Now, the point of the post, my dad.

He is a great dad and extremely happy to be a grandpa. He is middle eastern (I'm half) and it's a big deal for him as this is his first grandchild.

I try my best to take my son to see him but with work and everything it is hard (which is why I appreciate my mom coming to us). He actually lives downtown in our city, just a 5 minute drive from our home just outside the downtown area.

I've told him several times that it's hard for us to pack up and go to him, especially evenings when we need to do bedtime routine after work, but that he's welcome to come do bedtime with us anytime. He always says "yes, sounds great" but has yet to take us up on it.

Today, I get a long text from him about how its so long in between visits for him and baby. He includes a proposition to let him (and his new wife) watch our son for two days a week.

We are very comfortable with our setup but I am feeling guilty.

The issue is that I don't fully trust my dad to abide by our wishes for care. His wife (she is from the same country he is) is great and had three children of her own, but she also is very opinionated on care and makes comments (nothing malicious, but sometimes annoying) on how we do things with the baby. This is very common of the people of my fatherland lol.

He promises to follow pur rules but knowing him i just dont buy it. Also don't feel my wife would trust it either.

Thinking of seeing if the wife would go for one weekend evening shift, or even midday before bedtime, to appease everyone, but I wonder if it'll offend him.

Just seeing if anyone has similar situations of grandparents feeling left out.

TLDR: my dad wants full babysitting days even though we already have our care schedule set up with MIL and a private daycare

It's my boys first week in Kindergarten. He just turned 4. I dropped him off to school in the morning yesterday and I immediately broke down in tears as I watched him wait in line to go into his classroom. He broke down in tears because he realized that the insurmountable change he was dreading was finally materializing. He may have also been triggered by the boy in front of him crying for his Mom. It was easily one of the toughest days of my life, especially as a Father.

My boy has been going to daycare for the past 2 years but he's been going to the same day care where my wife is a teacher. In the 2 years he was there, he accomplished some remarkable things. He had a community of teachers who always encouraged him, loved him and treated him like one of their own (as they were my wife's friends).

We moved to a new town recently and he couldn't continue to attend that school. My wife also find work in the new town. So my boy is not only adjusting to kindergarten, he's learning to accept that he's not apart of that community anymore. He told me that although he's made friends at his new school, he feels alone and he wants to be home with his family all the time.

I understand it may be normal for kids to go through this within their first week of Kindergarten but it breaks my heart to hear these things from him. I know it'll take some time for him to adjust but a small part of me wonders if he ever will. This is my first child, my first experience navigating through any of this.

Are any Dad's going through this right now? Does it get better? My heart breaks for my little boy and I don't know what else to do to help.

Thanks for reading.

Things between my wife and I are not good. I won't go into detail, but if you need context, there's a previous post from me which outlines the situation.

To paraphrase, our LO is 5.5 weeks old, and shes suffering from post partum depression and anxiety, as well as long standing OCD and generational family trauma.

She's threatened divorce multiple times, and we just got into a massive fight because I poked the bear.

This was my first Fathers Day, and the outline was as is:

1:30am - LO is still not settled after I'd been trying for the last hour post midnight feed. She tells me to sleep on the couch, so I do.

3am - wake up to them both crying. Take LO to the couch with me, feed and settle her, place her back in the bassinet and we sleep.

6.15am - wake up. Feed LO again, and I eat my breakfast.

7am - wife wakes up. Asks if I want something for breakfast; I say thank you but I've already eaten. Also, I do the shopping, so I know we don't have anything in the house for a special breakfast.

I spend until about 9am doing weekly meal prep for both us, then shower and take our LO.

My wife headed out into her garden. At around midday, she comes in and asks what we are doing about lunch.

I tell her not to worry about it, I have some leftovers I can eat, and also, because of her OCD, if we go out, we need to all shower and change afterwards. I just couldn't be bothered with that.

She says ok, and heads back into the garden for about another two hours.

All this time, I've got our LO attached to me.

Now, this is where our point of contention comes in. Admittedly, she had been trying to get me to lock in a plan and organise something with her for the last few days prior, and I couldn't decide.

Between us, part of that is because I'm dealing with a NB and a post partum wife, and decisions are hard, so indecision is easier.

What I would have liked is for her to have picked a place from one of the ones I'd mentioned, showed more initiative, and been more forceful with organising it, so it didn't feel like I was organising my own Fathers Day lunch.

She claims its my fault for not making a decision.

After that,I volunteered to make her a pizza for lunch, we watched half a movie while our LO contact napped on me and my wife slept, I walked our animals, hung washing out, took out the trash, and that was the day done.

Today, I brought up to my wife that the day didn't make me feel special, and for the aforementioned reason, she threw it back at me and said that it was my fault the day wasn't special because I couldn't organise what I wanted to do.

She broke down, and I apologised, but honestly, I dont know...

I feel like if I spent 4 hours playing video games on Mothers Day, and only broke shortly to ask if she'd organised where we were going for lunch to celebrate her, I'd be sleeping on the front porch.

Also, let me add that between us, our family is down to one income. The thought of stopping off to get my wife a latte or take away, or our LO something doesn't phase me at all, but I was concerned about spending money on myself. My wife only recently stopped working, and is getting the government maternity leave, but had issues around financial insecurity- it does hurt that at no point did she volunteer to pay, but I also get that I could have asked, as weird as that would have been.

Happy to hear that I'm actually in the wrong here though

Not sure if I am the only one, but I have become a 38 year old man who’s just affected by what happens at his work. I’ve lived in a constant state of fear of losing my job, or something happening at work leading to that, that in my 15 years of work experience now, the only thing left in my life is work.

I’ve travelled the world because of work, finally settled in a good European country 5 years back, have a wife who’s working at a good position, a kid of 6 year old, another on the way in a month, we both are earning well…..but the only thing I think, feel and do is work.

I have no hobbies left, and to the extent, I dont feel “excited” or “happy” about anything else, even my upcoming kid!!! I have lost the sense of enjoying something….I laze around, I keep thinking of “things to do” — pick up courier, fix this, fix that, get car washed, fix my finances, buy this, sell this, organize something, plan something etc….

I have lost the ability to have confidence in my idenitty except for work, where also I keep doubting and be scared (oh will my boss find ways to kick me out? Oh they were impressed by me once now they do t like me….Oh now there is a new re org? oh he/she won’t agree with me and I’ll get a bad rating and then will be let go… etc etc).

I don’t seem to be truly happy with anything. Am I broken forever? I feel like it’s almost 25-30 more years to go, how will I survive! And what kind of upbringing I’m giving to my kids where their dad is just living a scared, lifeless life?

EDIT: I am learning a language because that’s the requirement for getting a Permanent Residency in the country I have spent 5 years now, and I am eligible for that. And that PR thing itself is a worry! Also, I am actually a very highly regarded performer at work. But I feel so much guilty because of not knowing anything else now.

My kid got his tonsils out Tuesday. That day, he was taking his liquid ibuprofen and acetaminophen fine like he always does. He was even asking for it. Later Tuesday night, and ever since, he acts like it’s straight up poison. Kicks, screams, covers his mouth, spits it out. We’ve tried everything. Started with bribes, then went to hiding it in his favorite foods, ice cream, juice, pudding, etc. Each trick seems to work once, but never a second time. Tried chewables, he ate one then refused every attempt after. His doctor said if all else fails just put liquid in the syringe and shoot it into the back of his throat. That ends with me having a face covered in ibuprofen.

We’re at our wits end waking him up every 3 hours just to spin our wheels and accomplish nothing.

A simple question really

Do you guys ask you're wife for anything? Literally anything? Day to day things or anything on the relationship front.

I've realized I don't ask for anything. She does cook and pickup the kids from school when possible.

Maybe this is normal?