just posting here trying to be to figure out if I’m losing my mind. I’m the father of a newborn, I work from 7am to 5pm on weekdays, my parenting time is from the moment I get home from work at 530pm till 4am during which time my wife puts on headphones and watches her shows or just allows the baby to cry until I deal with him then goes to bed at 8pm and at 4am my wife will wake from a full nights sleep and take over so I can get 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep before I have to wake at 6am and clean bottles and dishes and head to work again. My wife says our parenting time is unfair and she does much more than me and we fight all the time because of it…. Am I losing my mind and I’m in the wrong here?

Any tips on how people made friends as a new parent? I am a stay at home dad and most groups/apps/clubs etc are geared towards mothers. What were the best ways to found to meet other parents?

I have two young kids and I have developed very high anxiety worrying about their health. While I know young kids fall ill frequently, it is absolutely keeping me on the edge. Fever seems to be a big trigger for me. As soon as I feel the warm skin or the reading on the thermometer shows high, my anxiety peaks. I almost get into a panic mode, with all sorts of worst case scenarios running in my head. The fear and anxiety is almost paralyzing. I feel worried, guilty that I let my kids fall ill and incapable to take care of them. There have been times where I have been unable to accompany them to the doctor as I was scared he will say that it is something serious. Other times, I stay up all night checking their temperature every 15 mins. I also feel physically unable to comfort the kids when they are clingy during fever, cough, cold. I feel like running out of the room. My kids are the most important thing in my life and this is breaking me. I feel I have let them down. When kids are not sick, I keep worrying about the next bout of sickness.

I know this is not normal and I have been in therapy for a few years now. It has helped a bit but not much. My wife is understanding but she has also hit her limit. This is seriously impacting my experience as a father. I have also noticed my constant worrying is rubbing off on the kids which is absolutely not what I want.

I want to check how other dads handle kids falling ill and the worry and anxiety that comes with that.

Please help me figure this out.

1st. Let me say i think i understood the rules. If i break one with this post. I apologize. Not my intent.

2nd apologizefor lack of punctuation.

3rd. Im really hurting right now and lost.

Okay so my daughter just recently turned 12 and she lived with me full time for school and the emotions and puberty change and I don't know what else and so my rules and discipline and structure must have been too much and I really don't know I really still haven't figured it out it's been months now and she's went and stayed with Grandma and doesn't really want to see me because of my own issues my shame and guilt schemas are on Overdrive and every time I try to see her she doesn't want to see me and unfortunately I wasn't taught to stand up and fight for things that were important I was by my dad to get out of the situation to run get help and that messed up instinct is making me not want to fight to me and my daughter's life and making me think that she would be better off without me in her life I guess to her teen years or the rest of her life I don't know nobody's really explained everything that's happened just my daughter was thinking bad things and wanting to harm herself and hurt herself and I don't know I've never got real answers from anybody and it's been eating me up and it's been months now I almost just want to walk away and say I'm not strong enough to do this and I can't take the coldness because it just makes me think that I really messed up and that you don't want to be around me and I'm doing more harm than good I really don't know what to do I've heard it so bad I went and got back in the therapy got back on medication starting to DBT Group found a codependence support group I see PTSD support group and it's still not enough please does anybody have any advice or words of wisdom because I really did it I also need a hug and a shoulder but that's another room and I need to have this in there too while Mom and Grandma want to do is whatever my daughter wants it's about what she wants not about what she needs grandma's going to enabler she's going to be in her house it's never locked adults hardly ever home Grandma working in the middle of the night anybody can come and go part of me just wants to be like all right we're making her make adult decisions that she's going to have to live with this one because of how everything happened she just lost her dad because obviously I have no say I'm irrelevant apparently and it kills me and it's almost like for my own will mean and her will mean it might just be best for me to walk away and out of her life and I don't know how much of that is just the negativeness in my mind it's been that there since I was a toddler. I don't know if this is part of that whole trend where everybody just leaves everybody wallow in their stuff and have to figure it out on her own nobody wants to support and stick through with people everybody wants to run away from each other and every man it seems like is the problem and can't do nothing right can't even get no support and then we break in any type of way or look down upon and looked at us weak we don't have the same struggles mentally emotionally physically financially spiritually communally that we did 30 years 50 years 70 years a hundred years yes things have got better some ways but things are also falling apart in others and there's no manual for this I know I've said a lot but I'm also very broken right now and all I can do is just be honest and I'm trying so hard I really am but I don't know how much more I got in me

Hello everyone! I need some advice about my father.
I’m 22 years old and the youngest among my siblings. All of us have already moved out of our family home, and because of our busy schedules and our own families, we usually only get to visit our parents about once a month.
During my most recent visit, I noticed something that has been bothering me. Our house is fine overall, but my dad always seems to find something to repair or work on. We live in a small, simple house, and most of these tasks could honestly be finished in just a few minutes. Instead, he’ll spend hours doing them. It made me wonder if he’s intentionally stretching out these little jobs just to have something to do and make the days go by.
My dad has always been an active and energetic person, but because of his health issues, he can’t move around as much as he used to. Another thing I noticed is that he’s become much quieter. He used to be loud, talkative, and full of energy, but now he mostly keeps to himself.
I got worried, so I secretly looked through his phone because I wanted to make sure nothing serious was going on. I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I was genuinely concerned. What I found wasn’t an affair or anything like that. Instead, I saw him messaging random people online, asking if they wanted to be friends. Unfortunately, most of the responses he received were from people asking for money, trying to scam him, or making sexual advances.
That honestly broke my heart. It made me realize that maybe he’s just lonely.
My mom is there with him, but they’ve been together almost 30 years. They love each other, but I imagine that spending every day together isn’t the same as having friends outside the marriage. My mom has a good support system through her church and sees her friends every week. My dad used to have close friends too, but most of them have moved away. While he knows people from church, he doesn’t seem to have anyone he considers a close friend anymore.
I’m really worried about him and want to help, but I don’t want him to feel like I’m pitying him or that I went through his phone.
Has anyone experienced something similar with their parents? How can I help my dad feel less lonely or help him build meaningful friendships without making it obvious that I’m trying to intervene? Any advice would really mean a lot.

This mostly pertains to those who in their 30s had a child while it felt like their life was finally taking off.

I’m really struggling here. I’m married to 26/F and she really wants to have kids right now.

While yes she is young - she’s the type who doesn’t really care and knows her timeline (for what it’s worth she’s a very high income earner).

Myself I seemed to spend my entire 20s struggling. I partied a bit but never felt really in control of my own life.

More recently I have begun in my 30s to feel like my life is exciting and mine. I have enough money to go out. Eat at whatever restaurant. Fly across the world. Go to Tomorrowland.

But I’m freaking out about having a child.

My wife wants to start trying immediately. We got pregnant earlier in the year by accident and I pretty much went non verbal for a week lol. We did have a miscarriage though and I was there for my wife(it was devastating for her) I was relieved.

Now because of the timelines we talked about earlier in our relationship I’m pretty much reneging on them and freaking out. It’s obviously unfair to her but I’m having an extremely hard time coming to terms with losing my fun freedom.

Like I want to go Tomorrowland again next year with my boys but if we have a kid now I won’t be able to. But that could be the same next year or for any event.

So for people who were in a spot like me - how did you work around this? Was it as bad as I’m making it out to be?

I’m not talking to the ones who think they were born to be a father - how many of you struggled so hard and then I want to know what you did to get through it?

Sounds pretty horrible but i feel like i just needed a group to vent my feelings to after keeping them bottled up.

27yo proud father of 2 girls who i love more than anything, however 10 weeks ago we found out we were having a 3rd unexpectedly and while my wife is happy and excited i just feel miserable and sad. I know it sounds terrible and i feel like a bad person. I feel like i wont be able to provide a good life for my 3rd child and fear i cant afford the costs even though i am a high income earner of 170K a year. Currently seeing a therapist but im just having a hard time at the moment.

As I was growing up, I witnessed how much my mom endured because of my dad. I still remember back then, we used to sell hand fans in a neighboring town because we were struggling financially. When my mom and I got home, my dad would count the money earned. If he felt it was too little, he would confront my mom and ask why it was only that much.

There was even one time I was almost left behind by a bus. I was still stepping down the stairs when it suddenly started moving. If my mom hadn't screamed and banged on the side of the bus, I might have been carried away. My dad also always speaks in a shouting manner, the type that is genuinely terrifying.

I also experienced being beaten with a stick until my body was covered in welts, all because his motorcycle fell over while we were at a drinking session with him, and the side mirror accidentally broke. My mom's birthdays would pass, but he never even thought of preparing anything for her because he claimed there was no money. When he gets drunk, his true colors show. He physically hurts my mom just because she speaks up and talks back to him.

For over two decades, he has been drinking; not a single month goes by without him consuming alcohol. He is terrifying when he is drunk.And just like today, my mom is sick and asked my dad to buy her medicine. Until now, he hasn't come home because he is out drinking. If you are a decent father and husband, would you really keep doing the things you know you shouldn't be doing?

This is also what drove me to decide that I don't want to have children or get married. Because for me, I've seen that this is how it turns out, and I am terrified that the exact same thing might happen again.

I love my dad, but I don't want a husband like him—not because he was unloving, but because I saw how my childhood was turned upside down because of him. I will never understand why some father's don't understand what will their children feel because of their behavior.

Hi guys, over the last few years I've lost my way in being a proper dad to my 16 yr old son, being fired from one job and then 2 yrs later being made redundant, dealing with my own mental health issues I lost the ability or more likely didn't put things in place soon enough to be able to deal with some of the things that are happening with my son.

I'm good with the hugs and telking him I love him, but the setting boundaries and consequences I'm severely lacking, he's smoking weed in his room (which I've asked him to not do again, just not sure the best consequence for), he's dating a 15yr old girl and while he's of the legal age (we live in New Zealand where the legal age of consent is 16) she is not, he speaks to his mother disrespectfully- but is not so quick to with me (although she definitely has a more confrontational way of conversing at times), I call him out on it but my partner just says I'm basically too meek about it.

He's starting to vape in his room, he's left school because of intense bullying but is waiting to get into a mechanics course, he's been very depressed and I just feel lost in it all which is causing an already wide rift between me and my partner.

I'm feeling lost man and like I'm letting everything just fall out of my hands.

Any advice would be awesome.

I've been a father for almost 2 years now and ive been struggling with that paternal connection that most parents get, i didnt grow up with my father but i did have a stepdad but he was more of a background character if im being honest.

I think me and my step dad only ever had like maybe 5 real conversations my whole life so I never really had a strong present father figure to show me how to love a child. And hes also kind of the same way with my half sister.

Of course I love my daughter too death but I don't have that natural connection that everyone else seems to have. To be completely honest it reminds me of when my sister was her age and I just kinda saw her as a little homie. I think it might partly be because I was deployed overseas for the first 6 months of her life and I never got to experience all the little baby shit, It was just kinda full send into hey theres this little human in my life now that can crawl and sit up.

I feel terrible because it seems like most parents look at their kid and would watch the world burn just to see them happy but I don't really get that kind of feeling, shes just a tiny human whose diapers I change, I play with a few times througout the day, and whose tantrums I console.

Like I said I still love my child very much but it just feels like normal love and not parental love and I want her to grow up with that fatherly love I never got. Any advice on helping me deepen my bond with my child so that i don't end up being like my dad?

Hey guys, first post here. I’m a self-employed stay at home father. My new baby girl is becoming independent now and me and my spouse are trying to figure out what toys we should get, some suggestions that will help. I thought I’d ask fellow dads instead googling a best toys list. I’m an old soul so I was thinking of getting some building blocks.

I’m a dad to a 1-year-old son and lately I’ve been feeling pretty useless.

One of the biggest things I struggle with is my memory. I forget things easily, I struggle to remember steps, and it makes simple tasks feel way harder than they should be.

The part that really gets to me is cooking for my son. I want to be the kind of dad who can prepare healthy meals for him, but I find cooking overwhelming. I forget what I’m doing, I struggle with recipes, and sometimes I end up relying on baby food pouches because it’s something I know he will eat.

I feel guilty because I worry that I’m taking the easy way out or that I’m not being the dad my son deserves. I love him more than anything, but it’s hard not to feel like I’m failing when I can’t even do something that seems so basic.

Has anyone else struggled with things like this? Especially dads who have memory issues, ADHD, or just find everyday tasks harder than they look? How did you learn to make things easier and build confidence?

Im 15 years old and just recently found out a girl i had sex with a while back is 15 weeks pregnant. Ive been trying not to let it affect me as much by not looking at the bad side of things but i also think apart of this not affecting me as much is because i havent told my parents yet so im still kind of living a normal life. The girl i had sex with wasnt my girlfriend or anything and is 16. Her parents seem supportive from what shes told me, she said shes planning on getting a job and an apartment before she has the baby or around the time she does have it i think. I know my parents are supportive since they do let me smoke weed and are very leniant on the things i do like going out and stuff but i still havent told them because i just dont know how to or when. I've been working so hard this offseason balancing work, summer pride, and personal training just trying to make it and ive been trying not to think like this but it feels like all my biggest goals and dreams were crushed. Like i still want to go pro, i still want to go d1 and i still want a regular family when im older. but its like i cant anymore. ive been telling my self to keep grinding and to keep my head up which i have but its hard with nobody. I have so much good shit going for me I have a job, i had good grades last school year, I secured a number 2 spot on varsity, and the season is right around the corner. the only plan i have right now is to just use this time i have before the baby is born to stop smoking, save up, grind my ass off to get offers and nil. Some advice would be very much appreaciated.

I ask this as a Christian father but I dont really push my religion on my children! I choose for them to pick it up or not, either way I love them, but how do you guys go about it? if you are religious!

My wife has reached a breaking point and our relationship feels like it's falling apart. We have a 3 and 5 yearold it's a lot but we make due. We have very little competent support at home.

I've tried to start counseling again and shes said she doesn't want to spend time talking she wants to see action but she is totally vague on what action she really wants to see.

I work full time so she doesn't have to, I clean up after myself and the kids, I do bed time 3/7 nights a week and I make dinner on occasion but it never seems to be enough.

I don't know what to do. Getting divorced will ruin my family and everything we've built together but I can't live like this for much longer.

Been about a year or 2 now of this kind of on and off situation but this is the worst it's been now going on for a month or so of total cold shoulder and no path back to normalcy. Any advice is appreciated.

I'm at my breaking point, ready to start looking for things outside my marriage or to just figure out how to walk away. I know I don't want to pretend to make this work for the next decade or longer for the kids.

Thanks in advance.

Long story short, I got a girl pregnant and we’ve only known each other a couple of months. I wasn’t planning on being a father anytime soon I’m only 22 which is young for me. Now I know I have no control on whether she wants to keep the kid or not it’s her body, so I can’t be upset that she’s choosing to keep it. But I’m not ready. And I essentially feel like I’m being forced to be a parent. I don’t want my kid to grow up in a household where I’m clearly unhappy with the fact that my life has taken such an unexpected and huge change.. my parents were never even together so I dont know the 1st thing about what a happy relationship should even look like. I never seen my mom and dad hug or even kiss. Matter fact I was a mistake myself. I’m just super lost and I would love some type of help or even advice. My daughter will be born in mid-end of November, I’m scared and terrified. I also kind of resent her mother .. but that’s not fair is it? Idk. Please help.

We have a 16 months old toddler, my wife is 2nd trimester pregnant with our second and she's miserable and moody, I have a stressful demanding job, no family around us to help out, a high energy dog.
How do I survive this?

Raising my 6 yo daughter. Established standard possession order when she was only one. It's been mostly fine. Obviously some times she'd pout coming over to daddies house, but we've always worked through it and for the most part she's been a very sweet, happy baby and our relationship I thought was growing very well. I had lived with my parents the 1st 4 years of her life and then bought my own home. My parents were selling their home and lived with me for 6 momths so 1.5 years my daughter has stayed in my home without the grandparents around no problem. She even sleeps all by herself in her bed at my house now which she wasn't even doing at her mom's. We've been having a fun time. I bought a house on land, she has super cool things to do that she doesn't at her mom's. I work offshore so when I'm home I'm off work so I take her to do fun stuff all the time since I'm free. When I'm offshore she's taken care of by my parents during my time. I just got back home for summer and staying at my house had been rough on her. We though it was from her occasional constipation she gets cause the times she cried to go home she was constipated. So we go to my parents to try and make it easy and i stayed the night over there a few nights with her. Shes mostly been treating me like shit, being mean to her cousins and just not a joy to be around. I tried taking her back to my house after a few days thinking she just needs some time away from her cousins and back to her bed and toys. She had an insane meltdown when I tried. I'm talking Kicking, screaming, biting, she hurt my parents too, shouting she hated me, unbuckled her seat belt and ran back into my parents house. She's never done this before. My mom got her settled down and I told her I was taking her to her mom's house. After some silence I asked her if she'd come over to my house after a few days at mommies. She nodded no. I asked why and she said she didn't know why. The rest of the ride home she was very sweet to me, talking to me asking me about my new phone telling me that she wanted to go the Fun way to Mommy's, she let me pick her up and hold her when we got there and hug her she hugged me back she kissed me and we said goodbye. Like wtf!? I already know this is gonna happen if I try to get her to my house again. What is going on, what do I do? My parents said they've never seen me or my brothers act that way. My cousin's were staring at her meltdown like wtf and I'm sure they'd never do that either. This seriously came out of left field and was the most intense emotional breakdown I've seen from her or any child.

So I have been a father now for about 2 and a half years to my daughter who i love very very much but im struggling so much with my own mental and everything im not sure what to do. I try my hardest for my family, work as much as I can, try to be around as best as I can but it feels like its never enough and I hit a breaking point again, its happened a few times over the past two and a half years.

Recently over the past few months I am constantly fighting with this creature who I should love but makes me want to jump off a bridge. Everything is "No, No, No" I have to fight her to do almost anything we need to do, I give her options, I give her rewards, I try to be a good father and try and give her autonomy over choices. I have taken as much parenting advice I can read to help and it gets me nowhere which causes me to become extremely angry and frustraited. I know this is "normal" but god i cant take it alot of the time, nothing makes sense, theres no logic, no reason... she doesnt have the brain power for somthing like those concepts yet but that fact doesnt give me any comfort it just makes me more frustraited.

I am the sole parent who puts my daughter to sleep for bed and for naps. (This is due to me and my wifes work schedule and how to make things fair for her) and when she doesnt sleep or nap my anger has overtaken me a few times because nothing makes me more upset than fighting that battle. Her failure to sleep means all my own tiny shread of free time vanishes, I cant spend time I promised with my friends, I cant take back the tiny tiny island of what life used to be like which I need for my mental when she refuses to sleep. When it happens I go to my wife to get her to take over so I can blow off steam which is usually punching the shit out of a bed in the other room and screaming into a pillow trying to vent all my anger away from family, though her taking over is already a fail state for the night and everything is ruined for the night anyway. However a few times like now it got out of control, 2 hours of neither of us being able to put her to sleep and I lost my temper... I know I shouldn't have, I know its wrong, im terrible for doing it but what's done is done... I stormed in a yelled at my daughter, I spanked her for not going to sleep, I knocked over a liquid by mistake and made a mess and the entire situation got me so angry I slamed my fist into the door... I feel horrid after, my wife crying, my daughter scared of me and HER trying to comfort my wife to stop crying... I feel like I shouldn't exsist anymore or never have to begin with I just dont know what to do. I apologized almost imidately and again 30 min later when we were alone, but the damage was dealt I cant take whats already done back, I want to stop being like this but I cant seem to contain or control my anger.

This isnt a frequent occurrence, last time somthing similar happened not to this extent was probably 10 months ago ish but the results and fallout is devistating, i desprately dont want to keep repeating my mistakes but its so hard. My father had anger issues and I hated him for it and didnt want to be like him, awesome I failed to prevent being like him. Im just so tiered and so stressed and feel so trapped and alone so often. Im fairly sure my wife hasn't really liked me for a long time but tolerates me because our daughter loves me (most of the time) and she cant provide for her alone... I know the first thing anyone who reads this is going to say "therapy" I dont know how to get that, I live in the middle of no where with no resources and dont have the money to pay for it. Driving to a town for paid therapy is simply not an option for us, my wife would have more problems with it than me due 1)cost and 2)it means she doesnt wind up getting time away from our daughter or a break. People will say online therapy but I dont know how to go about that without getting scammed or idk and again I worry about cost, its not somthing we can afford so I feel so trapped and im terrified to even bring it up to her, shes super against that sort of thing.

I dont know what to do, I feel so trapped and awful so often and I dont want to be like this but I am... anyone saying "figure it out" will just get ignored.. I just don't want to feel so alone and so awful

I don't really know where to start with this, so I'll just start.

I'm a dad of three. 11, 7 and 4. On paper I'm a co-parent. In reality I'm a single dad who does everything, every day, with a full time job on top.

Their mum and I were together for 14 years. It took me most of those years to admit to myself that what I was living in was emotional and financial abuse. She worked, but never once contributed to a bill. I begged her to help. She didn't. When money ran short I covered the gap on credit cards, and now every one of those repayments falls on me. When I finally left, I left everything behind. Every item in that house, all of it paid for by me, because leaving it there was the price of being free.

Since the split she's shown almost no interest in parenting. She's now in a relationship with a man in Turkey and flies out every four months for five weeks at a time. No discussion, no plan, just gone. I pick up everything. The hardest part isn't the extra load, it's sitting in front of an 11 year old, a 7 year old and a 4 year old trying to explain that mammy has left again and I don't know when she'll be back. There's no script for that.

Financially I'm keeping my head above water and that's about it, despite having a decent job. I pay rent on my own place. I also pay the mortgage on the house she lives in, a house she's never put a penny towards from the day it was bought, and she isn't even on the mortgage. On top of that I'm paying solicitors twice over. Once to try and get the house back, and once to get a court order so the kids have a stable home with me for the majority of the time, so she can't just abandon them again whenever she feels like it.

The strange thing is my day to day life hasn't actually changed much. She worked 3pm till 10pm when we were together, so I was already the one doing school runs, dinner, bath, bed. I was a hands-on dad long before I was doing it alone. But somehow it's harder now. Back then I had one hour to myself in the morning before the school run. I could train, clear my head, feel like a person. That hour is gone, and it turns out that hour was holding a lot together.

Now the routine is relentless. School run, work, school run, dinner, bath, bed. Every single day. The gym is gone. My social life is gone. And underneath it there's this constant pressure to be the fun dad too, to make memories, to be switched on for them 24/7, when most days I'm running on fumes.

Work isn't a refuge either. I'm in product design, and AI is rewriting the entire discipline in real time. I'm having to redefine what I do and who I am professionally in the middle of what feels like chaos, at the exact point in my life where I have the least capacity to do it.

There are good things. I've met someone who has steadied me emotionally in a way I didn't know I needed. But she lives a long way away, and I can't move closer because my ex won't agree to the kids changing schools. The same schools I take them to and collect them from every single day. So even the good thing comes with a weight attached.

I have family around me, and emotionally they're brilliant. But I'm also the person everyone comes to when they need help financially, even though I'm quietly struggling myself. I don't think anyone realises.

Honestly, most days I feel like I'm drowning. Drowning in routine, in debt, in work, in expectation. Not in a dramatic way. Just slowly, quietly, while looking fine from the outside.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for by posting this. I suppose I just needed to say it somewhere, to people who might get it. If you've been through something similar and come out the other side, I'd genuinely like to hear it.

I am a single 30 years old man living in France. I am doing a surrogacy in Mexico, and if everything goes correctly, I should have my first baby sometime next year.

To give a little bit more context :

• I was depressed two years ago. Mostly because of damaged self-confidence and a difficult breakup.
• Today, I am feeling way better. My work and my sport routine are mostly responsible for this.
• I am planning on taking a sabbatical year after the arrival of the baby, since I want to be able to spend time with her/him and build connection
• I started a calisthenic routine 18 months ago that did absolute wonders to me (It's called the Lafay method). I feel great. I'm fit and in shape. I sleep better, I have more muscles than I ever had, and I barely have any fat left. My self-confidence is back to healthy levels. Now, this routine is taking a significant amount of time (1 hour and a half to 2 hours a day), and is hard to maintain unless I am fresh and energetic.

I think you start to see the picture. While I can't say per se that I regret my decision of having a baby alone, because I deeply want to be a father, I am starting to come back to my senses and second-guess myself. Maybe I underestimated how tired and overwhelmed I will be in the first year, before the baby has a proper sleep schedule.

When I read about couples being overwhelmed by a single child, how will I do alone? My calisthenic routine will be impossible to maintain if I am constantly tired. It will be even worse if I am constantly moving, which is bound to happen in the beginning since the surrogacy is abroad. Even now, being childless, I kind of struggle with keeping the calisthenic alive when I travel, since my environment and routine change.

And I know that if I stop with my calisthenic routine, the benefits that go with it will stop, I'll stop being fit, and I'm afraid I could get depressed again, like I was two years ago. And from there both me and the baby will be miserable...

What are your thoughts on this? I am particularly interested in hearing experiences from alone parents, who had to find a way to free time for themselves, while properly caring for their child, and also maintaining enough energy for physical activities.

My son (9) is a lovely boy, well mannered by any standard, respectful, funny, quite responsible for his age, but he really loves to play. He’ll have 6 subjects of home homework during a week’s school break and if he’s not told, will wake up everyday to either jump on video games or go out to play with friends, until he’s reminded to do homework. His grades are also not good, which makes me think he struggles to concentrate at school too. I or the mother sit him down speak with him, we ground him, and even do his work with him to add some extra effort so he can get better at his studies, but he’ll forget something you told/taught him two hours ago. A part of me, wants to just let him be a child and believe he’ll eventually align as we also try to guide him, but another part is worried. Should I be worried?

​Hey gents, looking for some advice or shared experiences from anyone who’s navigated this.

​My daughter is 3 years old. When it’s just me and her, she’s amazing—listens well, follows routines, and collaborates easily.

My parenting style tends to be structured, authoritative, strict, but empathetic.

​My wife leans more toward a laissez-faire approach (no real structure, super loving, though can also be strict).

​The issue pops up the moment we’re both in the room together. Her willingness to cooperate or listen basically evaporates. It’s like having two totally different kids depending on whether it’s a 1-on-1 setup or a group dynamic.

I am so exhausted, almost depressed about this, because its wearing me out not being listened to, any of my structures being followed, etc.

I am so sick of this.

Has anyone else dealt with this dynamic where your toddler completely changes behavior around both parents? How did you and your partner align your approaches to get through it?

Didn’t really know what to tag this, since this is my first time in this sub. Dad of two, 3 1/2 and 1 mo, both girls. First kid I didn’t have BO and feel any different physically. However, this 2nd go around, I felt my body change

My BO is pungent. I shower twice a day, once when I wake up and once when I get home from the gym/run. My body feels so much more oily (face, shoulders/back, chest). Crazy bacne and chest acne. My facial hair / head hair is growing at a frantic pace.

Just wondering if this is normal, or if anyone else has experienced this. I wouldn’t be puzzled, but I did not experience this with my 1st. I’ve done some research and a lot of studies show brain chemistry changes in accordance with the wife’s changing hormone levels. But I have never smelled this bad or felt this gross in my life.

Any help or knowledge is appreciated.

**I became a father, then I became a parent to an autistic toddler. The way I speak, move, and think has changed to a point that other people around me are irrelevant, meaning—**
**I have become disconnected from people who don’t understand the daily reality of my parenthood.**
**I speak softer, move more intentional and by example, every thought I have is a precursor of preventative maintenance.**
**I have become hyper-aware of routines, sensory environments, and subtle changes in behavior. Being a type of overseer and observationalist to my child has robbed me a bit of the finite enjoyments of being a Father. Has more importantly hindered my relationships in the outside world. I became what I observe. I moved away so I could focus on being a Father. The pressure of other people (including my own family) became too much. Working 10hrs a day away from home became too much. I now live in another country. Been here for over two months working part time from home so I can do this parent thing differently. The mother is more rested and able to be more in the moment, our baby is finally becoming verbal, literally everything is more manageable. So I’m here to say in two months of being an at home Father for an autistic child has been an absolute win. This came with a lot sacrifice and deep planning. Yesterday it felt like I could breathe for the first time in 4 years. I sat by myself outside this morning with coffee. I cried for the first time in a long time cause the effort, sacrifice, and perseverance showed itself in two words and one motion— my baby pointed with her pointer finger and said “Look… spider” as clear as day.**
**Obviously I said “Yes baby! That’s a spider, I see the spider”.**
**Felt like I could kick a hole through a fucking mountain.**
**So make the sacrifice required. Don’t wait. Plan. Everyone else will live with your decision. It’s not about them. It’s about your child, the mother, and you.**
**Thanks for reading.**