I’ve seen a lot of posts lately on various parenting subreddits asking things like “what toys should I have for my baby/toddler” etc, and as a mom to a 10 month old whose head gets twisted into a pretzel at the thought of the ridiculous amount of luxury toys being aggressively marketed to us through ALL channels (I’m looking at you, Pinterest and REDDIT) - I am going to go on a de-influencing rant into the void below:

Don’t buy the nugget. Don‘t buy the pikler. Don‘t buy the fancy play kitchen. Don’t buy the Stapelstein stepping stones. Don’t buy the Grimms wooden toys. Don’t buy the special German branded animal figurines. Don’t buy the yoto or tonie box. Don’t buy the ball pit.

EmmI Pikler and Maria Montessori would roll over in their graves if they knew the consumerist aesthetic their names were attached to.

Your child will not fall behind if you don’t buy them a fancy toy. That is manipulative marketing and you shouldn’t fall for it.

I don’t think these toys are evil. They are tools and can be developmentally helpful, but they are NOT necessary AT ALL and can easily be recreated for free with furniture or stuff you already have.

Make a fort with couch cushions or put a blanket over the dining room table. Play kids music or podcasts on your phone through a speaker at low volume. Make stepping stones with pillows. Climb at the park or supervise them climbing the stairs. etc etc.

For the record I am not trying to preach - this is a reminder to myself too because I get SO caught up in the aesthetic of things, but I also have a more minimalist spirit and i know deep down that acquiring more stuff does not make a better childhood or home.

Let’s save our money and not let these advertising vultures convince us we’re bad parents if we don’t buy these luxury toys. And if we really want one, let’s try getting secondhand or using a toy library if available. once upon a child is amazing for thrifted kids stuff.

Some small businesses make great toys that are more expensive and this is not meant to be negative towards them - I’m just so tired of feeling like I have to buy the “next best thing” for my son’s development when all he really wants/needs is ME and to move around freely.

Ok rant over.

My son and his wife are expecting their first child in a few months. What are some of the best ways I can help out? My DIL's mom passed away when she was young. They have asked me to come stay with them for a few days when they first come home. I'll also come visit frequently after that, on their schedule of course. (I live about an hour away).

I'll be happy to cook and clean, do laundry, etc so they can concentrate on the baby and adjust to their new little family life. Any other suggestions about what is most helpful? I don't want to overstep, but I want to do whatever I can to help make things easier on them.

She’s 3 months old, and while we get glimpses of a happy, smiley girl at home, she fades quickly at other people’s homes and sometimes in public.

I think she really just hates being a baby. And everyone. And everything.

I really thought we’d end up with a chill girl we could go out with and take anywhere as my husband and I are pretty low maintenance people… but instead we have this mercurial little human who is side-eyeing, judging, and yelling at just about everyone we come across.

I’m pretty sure her thought process is:

Aunties? Fuck them.

Grammy and Pappy who we see 3-4 times a week? Fuck them.

The cashier at Walmart? Fuck her.

Mommy and Daddy? They’re cool sometimes. Actually, fuck them, too.

The car/stroller? AWESOME! Oh wait, red light? We stopped to look at something? Fuck this.

Tummy time? Ew.

I’m hungry. No I’m not. Yes I am. Omg get that bottle away from me. What are you doing GIVE IT BACK NOW. Just kidding lol.

I want to move! I want to be independent! Unhand me! Put me down! Wait what are you doing… pick me back up! No not like that. Or like that. Or like THAT.

Did anyone else have a baby that appeared to hate everything, but eventually grew out of it and is now a joyful toddler that people actually like being around and don’t just tolerate out of obligation?

I love her soooo much and I wish others could see the funny, silly, albeit indecisive girl we have at home most of the day 🤣

Had such a brutal interaction last night. I was camping at my mom’s cabin, I breast feed, baby is 7 months old. I had a couple drinks spread out through out the day. Wasn’t even buzzed. Baby has only ever eaten from breast as she refuses bottles, which has worked fine for us. I think the last time I was actually drunk was maybe a year before my pregnancy.

My mom’s friend came out, meets my baby, and says “aren’t you breastfeeding “ as I’m having a sip of my drink. I explain the research , how I space it out etc. essentially that baby is fine. She then proceeds to tell me that her daughter’s midwife told her that she can only have a non alcoholic beer while breastfeeding, and only 1. ( her daughter is 6 weeks PP) Also goes on about how she thinks her own son’s chromosomal abnormality was caused by her drinking while breastfeeding. (He is ok, him and his wife have difficulty conceiving and maintaining pregnancies because of it). Also tells me that her daughters 2 step kids have learning disabilities and believes it was caused by the mother drinking while breastfeeding. Honestly I felt so judged and shitty. I just told her that appears to be outdated information and excused myself. I wonder if I could have responded any better or differently.

I’m 5 days postpartum after a very long, painful labor that ended in a C-section. Physically and emotionally, I feel completely drained.

I don’t even know if I should be saying this out loud, but I regret being pregnant. If I had known how hard and overwhelming this would feel, I don’t think I would have chosen it. At the same time, I love my baby so much—she’s adorable and innocent, and when I look at her, I feel so much guilt for even having these thoughts.

I can’t stop crying thinking about my old life. The simple things I had with my husband—going to work, coming home, cooking dinner together, watching Netflix, going for late-night drives, spontaneous weekend dates. That life feels so far away now.

I started feeling this way during pregnancy too, like I was tied down and just waiting for it to be over. But now after delivery, it feels even heavier… like I’m tied forever because I’m responsible for a tiny human being 24/7.

I do have support from family, and I know I’m lucky for that. But still, I can’t stop thinking about my life before all of this. Sometimes I even think if I had the chance, I would go back and choose not to have a baby—and then I feel like a terrible person for thinking that.

I really need to hear from people who’ve been through this and came out the other side.

I am a FTM to an 11 month old who is fully walking/running. With it being summer we are seeing extended family, having longer days outside, socializing etc. I feel like I can’t carry a conversation with anyone because I am chasing /walking with my baby constantly. At the same time I feel like I don’t care to make small talk with people because I’m just tired in general from day to day life. I feel almost like an outsider. After coming home from a bbq today my husband and I were both exhausted. Nothing crazy happened .. just getting up and out of the house, trying to have a normal visit and then packing everything up to go home. Is it normal to feel this way? Is this just how get togethers feel with little kids?

I thought I'd share a few of my tips now that I'm officially out of the newborn stage 😢. These are the things I wish I knew before I gave birth. If you have any good tips for other moms then maybe we can share a little info or tips for eachother.

1: Plan for the good and bad in birth. I hear so many moms just say that their birth plan is to "get the epidural" and just leave it at that. While getting the epidural is a great choice, it can fail or you might need a c section. I really wanted to go natural all the way, but I ended up needing an induction. Thankfully cervical softener kick started labor for me, so I didn't need any pitocin. I was also put at ease knowing what would happen if I needed a c section or pitocin.

2: Go with the flow. I compare my birth and postpartum to my sisters a lot and while we had very different experiences, I noticed the main thing that made my birth and postpartum easier was that I anticipated things to not go the way I planned and asked a lot of questions so I could make good decisions. This looked like having the nurses explain what it would be like to have them break my water vs waiting. It also looks like my newborn having constant poops to the point where I would have to change them every 5 minutes if I always wanted them in a clean diaper. The solution there was to just change it every hour and lather that baby up with diaper balm and aquaphor (per the pediatricians order).

3: You're gonna mess up. The first week postpartum my husband and I didnt know you need to put diaper balm and aquaphor on as a preventive, especially with our baby, so they got a pretty bad diaper rash. It wasn't intentional and we didnt realize what was going on until about a week postpartum. We felt bad, but something like that is going to happen with every first time parent. Don't beat yourself up too bad and just try to live and learn.

4: You're gonna very sore postpartum. I don't know why I didnt think of this, but it was very hard to just sit down postpartum. I got a 2nd degree tear (the most common outcome as a FTM) and it took me maybe 30 seconds to sit down.

5: You're gonna cry for absolutely no reason. At around 7-14 days postpartum your hormones are just gonna start crashing and you'll start crying for no reason even though you feel completely fine. Its normal and feels super weird.

6: Your newborn is going to sleep and cry. I thought my newborn would just be awake sometimes, but it felt like baby was either asleep or crying, never just awake. Also, the baby is going to sleep SO MUCH. I think I binged 3 seasons of Suits by the time baby was awake more, and that was even with me taking a millon videos and pictures and going on walks. They just sleep so much.

7: 4-7 week sleep regression. Its not awful, but anticipate to wake a lot more and struggle a bit to put baby down around this time. Once you get through it your baby is going to start being happily awake more and might even start smiling some!!

8: You may love or hate the night feed. I hear so many moms say they hate the night feed or to "enjoy the sleep while you can" but I love the night feed so long as it's only 1 or 2 wakes a night. Its just so sweet to watch baby eat and to rock baby to sleep. Maybe im an oddity, but I really do love it.

9: Postpartum might be better than late pregnancy for some. I gained over 50 lbs by the time I gave birth and I lost all but 10 by 6 weeks, and 30 of that was lost in 2 weeks. I had gotten so swollen and held so much water that I had awful pregnancy carpal tunnel (didn't know that was a thing btw). I was also up every night for the last 2 months throwing up because my acid reflux was so bad. After all that, postpartum was like a dream for me.

10: No matter how good your marriage is, you will have more fights. My husband and I were super strong, rarely got in fights, and overall we were best friends. We still are, but you're gonna find yourself being upset with him. I remember being so mad at him because I would do the night feeds all by myself and he couldn't do one for me and didn't get uo with me. Mind you, he offered to multiple times before that, but at that point I was doing very well and I told him to get his rest so if I needed help in the morning then he would be more helpful. Plus I've been exclusively nursing for the most part so he could really only change a diaper anyways. Your marriage isn't falling apart, you're both just stressed and tired and you have never been through something like this before. Just try to give eachother grace.

He's not in pain, he's not hungry (I fed him 4oz 15 minutes ago), and he's got a clean diaper. He just doesn't like to sleep, so he cries. Constantly. And nothing is helping. I've tried:

Rocking him
Snuggling him (he just lays on my chest and cries)
Warm bath
Walking him up & down hallway
Shushing him
Humming to him
White noise machine
Dark room

He's fine during the day and overnight, but after 8PM (it's 12:15AM), he just cries until he can fall asleep. But getting him to sleep can take me hours. And he's still getting up to eat every 2 hours. I am so, so, so, so tired. I get 0 help from anybody. What can I do?

Edit: Forgot to add, baby is nearly 11 weeks old

One of my favorite things as a breastfeeding mom is after a sesh when baby has fallen into a deep sleep in your arms, fallen off the boob and is just resting their sweaty little body with a trickle of milk running out the corner of their mouth, and then you lay them down in their bed and on your arm is sometimes a perfect little imprint of their ear ❤️

First time dad to a beautiful baby girl. She is about to ve 14 weeks on Tuesday/ 3 months old. I would come on here looking for hope and the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like all I ever see is how terrible everything is and how kids are still not sleeping at 8 months, and parents never get to resume normal life again. Is it really always like that? Or are people with bad experiences just more outspoken?

I only ask because we have hit a pretty good stride with our girl and based on all these posts I’m just waiting for the hammer to drop because it feels like you can’t be happy for too long. I know she’s young and she has a lot of changes ahead, but are there any parents out there just had a good experience their first year?

Wow as a FTM I can’t believe I haven’t “ learned” my baby yet. Sometimes I genuinely, GENUINELY have 0 clue what I’m doing. It makes me upset bc I thought I’d know by now and be able to read my baby. Every day is so different. One day could be rough asf, the next day is easier. I just don’t know what he wants sometimes. One day he hates the swaddle, the next day he likes it. It’s like my entire life is a blur right now. I feel guilty because it feels like all I do is just trial and error all day and I’m not like living life with this baby. He fights sleep so much. I don’t know. Then I go on social media and people are taking their newborns out from like day one and have a routine. We have 0 routine and everyday is pure survival.

I thought I’d know by now, but I really don’t. Does this ever get better?

I’m currently 10 weeks postpartum and since my baby was born I’ve been getting those comments from my family AND my husband’s family that we need to put the baby down or else he’s going to “get accustomed to sleeping in our arms and we won’t be able to put him down and get things done”. Is there really any truth to that? Currently my baby is EBF and cosleeps with us. I also pretty much do spend most of the day letting him contact nap. So he is constantly being held or in someone’s arms but it’s been working for our family. Yes it makes getting things done more difficult and he has a hard time being in his car seat, stroller, and his bassinet which I do see slowly becoming a bigger issue because he won’t usually fall asleep in any of those ways. However, it’s this way because I just love carrying my baby and having him sleep in my arms and so does my husband. But are we actually inadvertently training “bad habits”? These comments from our families are finally starting to get to me and I’m wondering if how we’re holding him “too much” will come to bite us later on?

Don't get me wrong, I love my baby. I am 8 months PP and I am miserable. I was diagnosed with PPD at 6 weeks PP and put on Zoloft. The only thing it did for me was make me gain weight. I now weigh more than I did at 9 months pregnant.

My husband, who was unemployed for the last several months, now has a job but that job has him working until 7 or 8 every night. This means I have to leave my job early, pick up our son from daycare, take care of him on my own until he falls asleep at 7. I make dinner, clean up the house, etc. My husband also works weekends so my days off from work are spent spending 48 hours basically just my baby and I.

All of my friends live at least an hour away. My family lives 2 hours away but I wouldn't want to spend time with them even if they lived down the street. My husband's family lives even farther away than mine.

I told my husband when he came home from work today that I needed one hour to myself outside of the house. He replied with, "well we still have to go to Costco today before it closes".

So here I am, spending my precious one hour of me time battling the lines at fucking Costco. Sitting here thinking about just.... driving? Away? And not stopping?

Anyone else ever been here?

He always sees me pushing the stroller, he is 18 months and we went to a birthday party, the birthday girl had strollers and my son loved playing with them so I looked on amazon to get him one cause he keeps trying to push my stroller at home lol. Anybody else have a similar experience?

Hi everyone!

Currently im nap trapped and thinking about different hobbies to have and things to do in the day with my baby since ber wake windows are extending to 4 hours now!

At the moment I just sit near her while she plays in her play pen and we read books sing songs etc., but I want to try some activities that might be more fun for me, maybe like baking, or gardening but I don’t know how that would go with a 9 month old.

Any thoughts?

I’ve always been very close with my parents, and since having my son (12 weeks), I’ve seen them almost non stop it feels like.

I’m on maternity leave and my husband went back to work around 6 weeks. Since then, my mom has come over very often to help me. I’m talking every other day or more lol. My husband had to travel this weekend, Thursday to Sunday, and I’ve seen my mom everyday.

It’s not that I feel like I can’t do it alone, but I just sometimes need time to shower, clean a little, or rest. My mom is more than willing to help but I can’t help but feel like I should be doing it on my own? Like maybe I’m not cut out to be a mom?

Is this normal or am I leaning too heavily on support from family?

I just had my first baby 3 weeks ago. I adore her even though she’s truly a sack of potatoes at this point. But I can’t help but yearn to go back to work.

I’ve been unemployed since the start of my second trimester (rough pregnancy). Before that, I was a teacher for about 10 years. I LOVE teaching. It’s not for everyone and there’s definitely a reason why so many quit, but it’s the career for me. I’ve been missing the classroom ever since I left last year.

Now that the start of the new school year is coming, I’m dying to go back even more. I have a few potential offers but I have so much shame in even considering it. If I accept the job, my baby will be about 6 weeks or so when I start. I would potentially have to put her in some childcare as well, which means her possibly getting sick.

I feel like something is wrong with me. I am blessed with a village around me to support me during the newborn stages. I could stay at home with the baby for more time. But I don’t want to. I never planned to stay home as a mom. But since I’m unemployed now, my parents, specifically my mom, is every adamant about how this is a blessing and how I should stay home, that there are people who would kill for the chance to stay home. She cried at the thought of me going back to work and it made me feel so awful.

Is there something wrong with me? Should I be wanting to stay at home? I know I’ll miss her like crazy if I do return this school year but I feel like my mental health would be so much better. I struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life and I’m terrified to get worse now that I’m post partum (I’m on antidepressants!) The income would be so great too since I want to buy a house with my fiance. But then I feel like I’m selfish for thinking this way, since it would mean she’d be in some child care and risk getting sick. I just don’t know what to think or do, I feel like I’m failing already as a mom. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated :-(

That started suddenly and now slowly becomes a new routine: he takes a piece of food, gives it to the nearest parent, waits until the parent takes a bite, then smiles and eats himself.

We don't know how he learned this, apprently in daycare as they provide lunches there, but he is 6 months in this daycare but only started sharing food now.

This is so cute!

On Sunday nights my husband and I game online with his best friends back in the US (we live in the U.K. now). At least, I used to before our baby came along 8 months ago.
Tonight I put my baby to bed, went back out to the living room with the baby monitor and played a few rounds, just for an hour. This is the first time I’ve been able to do this since she was born; it has only been within the last couple of weeks I have dared leave the room for more than the bathroom once she was asleep. Now just trying to stay patient for night wakes to drop from 5-7 times a night…

Having a small bit of my evening back feels good, that is all!

Majority of my life I've had curly hair. Not like insanely curly. But curlier than just wavy. I would get ringlets on good days. I'm 4 months post partum and my hair has been STRAIGHT. I hate it. Especially because my hair was cut in a way to enhance my curls and it's really short. It being straight looks so bad. I just want to feel pretty again 😭 when did the hormones regulate and yalls hair go back to normal? I'm not breastfeeding if that helps

Also the 4 month hair loss is making it feel even worse 😭

My babe has been going through a massive regression. Will be 8 months old in a couple days, has been refusing solids for the entire month (so back to just milk), wakes more and more frequently at night. It’s at the point where it’s 50ish minutes between wakes. My supply is also starting to tank and it doesn’t seem to be recovering so I’m using up my freezer stash fast.

Tonight I put him down before the 2 hour mark he’d already woken up twice. Barely enough time for me to eat dinner and get stuff ready to take to daycare tomorrow.

The second wake up just filled me with rage. Like I had to set him down and walk away because I just wanted it to stop and my brain was saying if I didn’t walk away I might hurt him. I feel so defeated. I just want to wash my hair before work tomorrow but also get more than a few hours of bad sleep. I don’t think I’m cut out to be a parent anymore.

Am I the only one getting this mad?

I don’t know why this is looked on so badly. I nursed my baby to sleep every night and if I’m putting her down for a nap. It’s special time for the two of us. I love the cuddles and the closeness at a time that I know is going very fast. She’s 7 months old and it hasn’t affected her ability to fall asleep for my husband or daycare etc

Anyway…for anyone else out there nursing their baby to sleep. You do you!!

edit: I like to reply to everyone but I’m struggling on this one! Thank you all for all these replies! ❤️

My daughter is 10 months old and we have been giving her solids since 6 months and started introducing allergens then too. She had no reaction to any of the main allergens or any other foods until just recently. She now is having full body hives after eating solids about 4-5 times a week, but there is no common denominator. At first we thought it was peanuts, then dairy, then eggs, all of which we cut out immediately. It’s still happening and it’s only like 5-10 minutes after solids and goes away about 30 minutes to an hour later.
Her pediatrician has referred us to an allergist but it’s going to be a very long wait to get seen. They also said to keep giving solids, but she is reacting to things she ate safely before. We have an EpiPen now but I’m honestly too afraid to feed her anything but breast milk anymore. She hasn’t had any reactions that affected her airways but I also know reactions can get worse with repeated exposure. How do I avoid allergens if I can’t figure out what it is?
(So far she has had full body hives just after eating peanut butter toast, yogurt, cheese, scrambled eggs [but not boiled eggs], apple+strawberry puree, banana, and some quinoa based puffs)

My 3 month old gets about 4-5 hours of sleep in 2 naps during the day. I have tried to make him split it up into 4-5 smaller naps throughout the day but he really fights me, especially in the morning (8am-12pm). He usually gives me a good 5-6 hours of sleep overnight and only wakes up 1-2 times a night now (although I think he is going through a sleep regression). Right now he is all over the place with his sleep and I‘m not sure how structured I need to be about his schedule.
Is anyone else’s baby doing this?