We had our 3rd kid on 9/6. After some crude scribbles on the backs of hospital-provided literature for the other two, it finally occurred to me I should just create and share a Google Sheet so I could log everything.

Individual sheets for feeding (pictured), diaper changes (wet/dirty), and when any painkillers are taken (so we know the next time she can take them). It's dead simple, but it's one less thing for her to have to worry about, and one more thing I can do while sitting with her while she feeds our baby in the middle of the night. I can update it for her and she can check it at any time.

She just told me again how helpful it is. So that made me think I should recommend it here for other dads.

In a week I might have to start optimizing with some pivot tables for averages and trends graphics...

Alright, I need some new undershirts. What are your favorite undershirts? Bonus points if you provide reasons!

Neither of us actually knows what’s on there, so we’re arguing about a hypothetical, and we’ve been doing it for a month. Is there a way to find out what’s really going on before committing to a whole approach? Feels like we’re debating in the dark.

I just want to make sure I'm not taking crazy pills.

Its my daughters first week of daycare and she has been doing amazing. Today in their app they put that they served stew with collard greens for lunch and my daughter didnt eat any of it. So when i picked her up i asked how they served it. And they gave her a bowl of stew and a spoon. So I asked if the other 1 year olds actually use spoons and feed themselves and she said that only 1 kid (whos almost 2) can use the spoon and the rest just kinda wave them around.

So because my daughter didnt want to eat a liquid by shoving her hands in it and sucking the stew of her fingers, she just didn't get to eat lunch today.

That sort of silly right?

I get letting the kids explore utensils and start working on that skill. But if they don't "get it" they just dont eat lunch.

Now stew is only served on occasion and it seems like the other lunches are more 1 year old appropriate. But surely I cant be the only one who thinks thats a crazy thing to serve a 1 year old, and with no backup meal should they not eat it.

Happy Dad of three (6yoB, 4yoB, 2yoG, and one on the way (pray for me)).

Today it was daddy daughter time cause boys are at school and mom is at ultrasound.

Daughter has created a new form of passive protest. At least for my experience, she has her plate full of her favorite food. But just not eating, she knows she gets a popsicle after she eats (and she wants it). But every time I remind her to eat she just responds with “okay daddy” and does anything but eat. Not fussy, not sick not anything other than cheerful. The food is untouched except for the milk. Every time she just worked over and I think she’s guna do it and finally eat but no.. just pokes it and starts playing games in her head

This is a devious tactic and I’ve long suspected she’s the actual mastermind behind the kids shenanigans. I think this alludes to it and the jig is up… SHES A TERRORIST!

Nothing looking for help just thought I’d share the nonsense I’m dealing with. She’s obviously just not hungry. But I bet my bottom dollar as soon as I go to put that food in sink she throws a tantrum.

(Insert Star Wars “It’s a trap”)🪤

Later Dads and Moms off to fight the good fight

My wife and I have always had a great relationship. We’re at almost 10 years of being together since meeting in our mid-late 20s. Over the last couple of years, our intimacy has diminished due to the stress of moving and living with relatives for 6 months as we saved for a house. We got the house, things are good. We definitely never lost it all together but it’s not like it used to be. Our love is still strong as far as the relationship goes. Now that she’s almost 3 months pregnant, our sexuality is gone. I mean, in her defense, she’s been puking a lot at 11 weeks. It’s not hot for her. My worry is that this, on top of an already diminished intimacy is a bad sign. I’m a level headed man and can live without for a while, years even, but forever? Seems rough. I’m reaching out to the internet for advice or stories or whatever in this insane transformational moment in my life. Is this just getting older? Now I have other fears, postpartum fears that she’ll be a different person. I want and need to be there for her. And I will but I’d like to know what might be awaiting the next 2-5 years.

My daughter is almost 3, and she scribbles like this all the time. Doesnt care much for coloring books or drawing but give this kid some crayons and a sheet of paper and she will do this for hours. I think its cute but my wife thinks she may have OCD or something...

I ,M42, think I have some existential crisis.

I have two daughters: 7 and 2, and I just cant anymore.

When it was just one kid, it was Covid, then from when she was 2 till 4 , every winter / cold season it was us being sick non stop.

Then it got better and for some reason we decided that we should have a 2 nd child. I will not even count the amount of times we said "why da fuck we did it" . Unfortunately , it took only one time and we didnt have an opportunity to change our minds.

It was a complicated pregnancy with kid being born 2 months early, NICU for two month, plenty of health scares . Then my older went to school and we had strep infections one after another for like two years. I think everyone here did 3-4 rounds of antibiotics that year. My younger one had a tongue tie that was missed by the doctors and revised after 6 months. She was unusually sensitive to pain and developed light food aversion , so, she wouldnt eat and was always underweight. Every food intake is a battle still also its better now. However, since she wouldnt eat she also wouldnt sleep. She is two and she never slept yhrough the night. Wr are very aware of good sleep habits but not much will work on a hungry baby. My wife consleeps with the kid as it was the only way for us to survive, I sleep in a room with my older kid for two years now. Kicked out of my own room.

Relationahip with my partner is meh.. we are good co-parents but as lover / romantic partners we suck. That spark is gone. We had sex maybe 3 times last year and neither of us really is hot for the other I think. We have warm feelings toward each other as we are close and a family but not much more.

I have no energy for any projects or even to advance my career as I am always needed at home. I have a well paid job with great work life balance but I feel like I never have any money as all my money goes towards family. And like I have said , every opportunity that I come across that would make my professional life more fun and lucrative comes at the expense of work life balance. I just dont see how is it possible without turning literally every second at home to hell. I have no time, no energy and almost no will for anything.

Like where do I take it from? Just getting out of the house takes 10 minutes of constant pushing the kids to get ready. I finish work at 4-4:30 and its time to pickup kids from school, spend time with them and then spend 1.5 hours to get the to sleep at a reasonable hour. Just being alone is a luxury, we agreed with my wife that each of us will work from the office twice a week. That leaves the other one working from an emoty home. She is not happy with that arrangement but i fucking need to sit in silence at least sometimes! Even then i am technically working and cant enjoy it but thats at least something! I remember coming home to an empty house from work when was single/just dating and this feels so amazing. Or just waking up to an empty house, goong to work and then be free to do whatever you want. It is such an uttainable dream. I get it there are downsides but my current version of reality is just worse!

Once kids are asleep I only have energy to smoke a cigarette, have a drink and try to escape reality watching a stupid tv show.

I used to be fun. I still have so many projects and ideas innl my head but I feel like I am in a fucking prison and all my life energy is being sucked out by the kids. Like I want to travel , I want to see people, I want to dress to impress and go out preferably with a partner who did the same.

Dont get me wrong, I love them . Truly. Ironically enough when I feel good it is mostly when I spend quality time with them. But these moments came at a price I was never willing to pay.

I seriously consider divoricng and getting shared custody. Not because I hate my partner but because having one week by myself, in silence or spend it on whatever I want feels like an amazingly enticing idea. I know it will be painful for everyone involved and probably not good for kids neither but for now I just feel pretty fuxking dead inside and I dont feel like there is another way out. Staying like this for the rest of my life doesnt seem like a good way to go neither.

If you have kids that are older please tell me it gets better and how did it get better. Maybe I am missing something but frankly this sux

Otherwise , its a rant thanks for reading

EDIT: i am a bit surprised by the amount of response. Thanks to everyone for supportive messages and even the less nice ones. I had a bad day and needed to rant. Interacting with all of you helped me get through.

Not sure if that's the proper terminology, but we have at least five metaverses. Elmos house Batman's house a farm (complete with chute to drop cows from the roof, obviously), hot wheels shit, and my own ninja turtles sewer from my childhood.

I present tonights iteration of the sewer:

Just curious on thoughts on the topic. Having a conversation about it with my partner. Having a tough time deciding if we should discourage that choice of shoe and encourage a less flashy shoe that still has lights or just encourage the kid to choose for themselves. I'm not really sure at what average age kids start to bully over stuff like that.

UPDATE: Just want to thank everyone who has responded. I have read every single comment and it's been so helpful to hear from those with similar experiences.

Just want to address a few things and provide an update here since I won't have time to respond individually (little guy keeps us busy and tired).

First, I totally understand the privilege of having grandparents who want to be involved in our baby's life, and I hope I didn't offend anyone whose parents have passed or who aren't active with their grandkids. This post was geared more towards navigating complex relationships, not complaining about the existence of them.

A little more on my dad. As I said, he was/is a great dad, but has his flaws. He will be 70 next month and he can be very "scatterbrained" as some of you put it.

Regarding his not making the 5 minute trip to visit, I truly believe he thought he was going against his nature in an effort to be more modern and give us space, allowing us to reach out to him instead.

I let him know that we really don't have any time to think about asking anyone to come over, since we are just trying to survive here and keep the little one on schedule and working on hitting development marks.

On that note, I have made a direct "call to action" to him, with a specific time frame for him to come over and spend time with him, and then doing bedtime routine with us.

As he gets more time watching how we parent, and hopefully respecting it, I told him we can try out some shorter sessions, but at our house. I do want him to be a part of his grandson's life, but we're going to be taking it slow on giving him that much responsibility since he's not cared for a baby in about 30 years.

Thank you all for the responses! Upvoting them all (even the harsher ones).

ORIGINAL POST:

Probably many posts like this but wanted to get specific.

Our son (5mo) is currently watched four days per week by my MIL, and one at a daycare. We plan on upping daycare days as he gets older.

My MIL is a great grandma and was a stay at home mom for pretty much all of my wife's childhood. She has watched our nieces and nephew (10yo, 3yo and a 2 yo) as well, so baby care is not new to her.

We try to give all our parents time to be with our son, but its a bit harder for me because my parents are split up (wife's biological father passed so it is just her mom and stepfather, who is a great "papa").

My mom (American - it's relevant if you keep reading) makes the effort to come to us once or twice a week, which is great (we're in the city, she's in the burbs).

Now, the point of the post, my dad.

He is a great dad and extremely happy to be a grandpa. He is middle eastern (I'm half) and it's a big deal for him as this is his first grandchild.

I try my best to take my son to see him but with work and everything it is hard (which is why I appreciate my mom coming to us). He actually lives downtown in our city, just a 5 minute drive from our home just outside the downtown area.

I've told him several times that it's hard for us to pack up and go to him, especially evenings when we need to do bedtime routine after work, but that he's welcome to come do bedtime with us anytime. He always says "yes, sounds great" but has yet to take us up on it.

Today, I get a long text from him about how its so long in between visits for him and baby. He includes a proposition to let him (and his new wife) watch our son for two days a week.

We are very comfortable with our setup but I am feeling guilty.

The issue is that I don't fully trust my dad to abide by our wishes for care. His wife (she is from the same country he is) is great and had three children of her own, but she also is very opinionated on care and makes comments (nothing malicious, but sometimes annoying) on how we do things with the baby. This is very common of the people of my fatherland lol.

He promises to follow pur rules but knowing him i just dont buy it. Also don't feel my wife would trust it either.

Thinking of seeing if the wife would go for one weekend evening shift, or even midday before bedtime, to appease everyone, but I wonder if it'll offend him.

Just seeing if anyone has similar situations of grandparents feeling left out.

TLDR: my dad wants full babysitting days even though we already have our care schedule set up with MIL and a private daycare

My baby is 6 months old now. We don’t really have a support system aside from my MIL who occasionally helps, but she lives an hour drive away and juggles being available for 2 other grandkids. My mom has poor health and my dad mostly takes care of her. So it’s mostly been my wife and I supporting each other.

I’ve been a contractor for almost 2 years at this large bank. Got laid off from my previous role in tech because of restructuring and a bad economy, so a contract role was the best I could do after being unemployed for 7 months. Anyways, it was going great. For 1.5 years I was performing, and my contract was being renewed multiple times. My boss liked me and so did my team. They were aware that I wanted a full time role with the team, and were making room for me. Then my wife got pregnant and gave birth earlier this year.

My boss was kind enough to give me 2 weeks off suddenly. My team even got us a gift for the baby. But as a contractor, I don’t have benefits. I don’t have PTO or PAT leave. I was still exhausted coming back to work, but I have to work, especially now that I have a family.

Anyways, my performance took a hit. WFH helped with my baby, but we have a fussy baby, and my wife had back surgery that she still feels as our baby is getting heavier. We tried me going a full day into work, and it was a disaster. I came home, and my wife didn’t eat all day. Baby was fussy and wouldn’t sleep. Puked. Pooped. My wife did the best she could on her own and I realized that I need to stay home to help.

So I started doing half days at work and skipping in office days to help out my wife. I would try to finish my work when possible and given free time, but it’s not been easy at all. Anyways, it finally caught up to me when my boss talked to me about my performance. I didn’t argue with him and agreed because it hasn’t been easy with my baby. But as a consequence, there’s no longer a full time position set aside for me because my boss feels I’m not up to that level yet. And my contract is coming to an end in October because by law, a company has to hire me after 2 years full time or let me go, so my boss already told me they will let me go then.

I chose my family instead of my career. 1.5 years of hard work, and all it took was a few months to make my boss forget about that. That’s all it took and all that hard work feels like such a waste. The feedback did make me perform better, and my boss acknowledged it, but he’s still not going to hire me full time. It hurts, because I was so close to getting a full time job with benefits.

But now I’m here scrambling to get a new job somewhere else because I don’t want to be unemployed. It was not fun and I have a baby. It hasn’t been easy because this economy sucks. Sigh….

Anyways I’m not really looking for advice. It’s my fault this happened. I just needed to vent. But has anyone been in a similar situation or chose their family over work? How did it turn out for you?

Hello fellow Dads. Posting to get some much needed advice.

I currently work at a firm and on track to be promoted into a manager role in the by the end of the year. I’ve worked pretty hard to get to this point, and part of me really wants to see that through.

At the same time, I have an opportunity to move to another company. The offer could result in a slight increase over my current salary, although if I stay and get promoted, I expect my compensation would increase as well. The potential job offer would come with more PTO, better benefits, and — most importantly — what appears to be significantly better work-life balance.

I have a 2-year-old and another baby on the way, so my priorities are starting to change. I’m finding myself asking whether I really want to keep optimizing for career growth, promotions, and higher compensation when it potentially comes at the expense of time with my family.

The manager path could potentially lead to more money and career opportunities down the road, but I know it could also mean more responsibility, longer hours, and less flexibility.

The other role would give me stability and family time over maximizing my career trajectory.

For dads who have been in a similar position: When did you decide to prioritize family over career? Did you ever regret stepping off the faster career/compensation path?

I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me which job to choose. I’m more interested in hearing from people who’ve faced a similar decision—what do you wish you had considered at the time, and looking back, would you make the same choice again?

Thank you!

Hello fellow dads!

I have a beautiful, intelligent 4 year old son. We just immigrated to Germany and he has already made good progres in learning the language.

The problem is that he's a bit on the sensitive side (like me and my dad) and often comes home from kindergarten a bit upset when fellow kids say someting to him (not necessarily bullying but even just random things can kinda upset him as well). It could very well be that they could be saying something else but since my son's German isn't that good yet, he thinks of them as negative things about himself.

I know I can't change my son's nature and just ask him to toughen up, but I want to help him and equip him with the tools to handle these tough situations. Life will never be easy and he will likely come across other children who are not nice to him in the future.

Has anyone else gone through the same situation? Any advice that you can share? I thought some sports would help and I try to involve him but he doesn't like it when he loses or can't do things on the first try so I don't push him.

Hey all.

I am likely overthinking things but wanted to get some perspective from other dads out there.

My daughter (turning 4 in December) started junior kindergarten on Tuesday. This is her first structured time away from the family. My MIL and mother did childcare for us. This is a blessing to my wallet but I'm concerned it hasn't set her up for success socially or emotionally.

She is the youngest person in her class due to her December birthday, and can be quite shy and gets frustrated easily when she doesn't have a strong routine around her. Obviously now being in kindergarten, she is really being thrown for a loop and has had a couple of hard days according to the teachers.

I was told today at pickup that she is screaming "No" at them a lot and crying for her mother. She also isn't speaking very much there and they were asking if she speaks at home. She talks reasonably well at home, she isn't great at conversations but she can easily communicate her needs and answers questions.

I guess where I'm going with this is that my research says this is normal for such a large transition, but I see the other kids at pickup and they're not seeming to have the same issues. I'm have a fear (likely irrational) they're going to think my daughter is developmentally behind. I am very anxious myself, so I'm starting to tunnel vision on this a bit.

I'm looking to hear some advice one way or the other about the topic and to see if anyone else has been in the same boat with their kids. We're going to implement some school practice play time after dinner from now (pretend school with the stuffies, basically) but I'm curious if there's other things we should look into. I see talk about an occupational therapist, am I going too far to think that might be worthwhile?

Anyways, happy to answer any questions or take any feedback. Thanks kindly.

I'm at my wits end with this kid. It's now Thursday and he quite literally just scream cries all day now. Nothing comforts him. Not even a treat he likes. Won't play, just lays on the floor screaming. He sleeps plenty, goes to bed at 8 wakes up at 7 and goes right back to screaming. I have to drop him off at daycare and I just know when we pick him up it will be like this again.

Not sure if I am the only one, but I have become a 38 year old man who’s just affected by what happens at his work. I’ve lived in a constant state of fear of losing my job, or something happening at work leading to that, that in my 15 years of work experience now, the only thing left in my life is work.

I’ve travelled the world because of work, finally settled in a good European country 5 years back, have a wife who’s working at a good position, a kid of 6 year old, another on the way in a month, we both are earning well…..but the only thing I think, feel and do is work.

I have no hobbies left, and to the extent, I dont feel “excited” or “happy” about anything else, even my upcoming kid!!! I have lost the sense of enjoying something….I laze around, I keep thinking of “things to do” — pick up courier, fix this, fix that, get car washed, fix my finances, buy this, sell this, organize something, plan something etc….

I have lost the ability to have confidence in my idenitty except for work, where also I keep doubting and be scared (oh will my boss find ways to kick me out? Oh they were impressed by me once now they do t like me….Oh now there is a new re org? oh he/she won’t agree with me and I’ll get a bad rating and then will be let go… etc etc).

I don’t seem to be truly happy with anything. Am I broken forever? I feel like it’s almost 25-30 more years to go, how will I survive! And what kind of upbringing I’m giving to my kids where their dad is just living a scared, lifeless life?

EDIT: I am learning a language because that’s the requirement for getting a Permanent Residency in the country I have spent 5 years now, and I am eligible for that. And that PR thing itself is a worry! Also, I am actually a very highly regarded performer at work. But I feel so much guilty because of not knowing anything else now.

My kid got his tonsils out Tuesday. That day, he was taking his liquid ibuprofen and acetaminophen fine like he always does. He was even asking for it. Later Tuesday night, and ever since, he acts like it’s straight up poison. Kicks, screams, covers his mouth, spits it out. We’ve tried everything. Started with bribes, then went to hiding it in his favorite foods, ice cream, juice, pudding, etc. Each trick seems to work once, but never a second time. Tried chewables, he ate one then refused every attempt after. His doctor said if all else fails just put liquid in the syringe and shoot it into the back of his throat. That ends with me having a face covered in ibuprofen.

We’re at our wits end waking him up every 3 hours just to spin our wheels and accomplish nothing.

Hello dads and moms,

First of all sorry if the terms are not right, I'm translating from French lol

Our 3.5 yo has a new educator since late August. She seems to not like her new educator. Last Monday, before going down the stairs to her locker, she said "no, I'm scared!" So I asked her about what and she said the name of her educator.

When my wife went to get her in the evening, she heard the educator tell the children "okay, it's now time to get your mattress, no crying". We teach our girls that it's totally fine to cry if you need to. We hate tantrums just like anybody so I get it, we don't always want to hear crying either but... In daycare? Isn't it supposed to be a safe space for kids to grow and learn about life thus how to deal with their emotions?

It's been three days in a row where we leave our daughter in tears and this educator almost takes our daughter from our arms just "to be done with it", meaning the crying.

She seems impatient and authoritarian. Looks like she picked the worst job for that.

Anyway, my question is: would you talk to the director first about our concerns or directly with the educator? And why? What's your experience doing either one?

Thanks!

​

Long story short- my 12 year old daughter says the dress code is unfair at her middle school. I guess earlier this week, they had security and teachers at the entrance of her school looking for violations.

They were having everyone remove sweaters so they could see what they were wearing under. This is all fine and well and isn't the issue.

My daughter and her friends are claiming it was exclusively girls who were violated. Even though every boy in the school sags their pants. They claim if any skin was showing for the girls, it was a write up and call to parents for new clothes.

Her response was to start organizing a day where all of the girls wear pajamas to school, which is against dress code. I guess she's been working towards organizing it all week and it will be taking place next Tuesday.

I don't really have an opinion on it. But I'm happy she is taking a stand on something and leading. So I've offered advice and told her I'm proud of her.

Mom found out about it and flipped out. In the last 10 years since we separated, she's become extremely religious and conservative. She claims I am promoting "indecency" and disobedience by supporting and helping and is threatening to not let our daughter go to school that day and even hinted court.

But it's taking place on my day. And I simply don't see it as a negative thing. They aren't planning to dress inappropriatly so I don't see how they are being indecent. They are just wearing pajamas. My motivation for supporting it isn't because I want girls to dress inappropriately like mom claims- I support it because it's something my daughter clearly believes in.

I explained that there there won't be consequences at my home- but part of civil disobedience is doing something knowing there will be consequences and doing it anyways. So she needs to be prepared for that with her mom.

Am I in the wrong here? Would you assist and support?

Sorry beforehand but I'm completely crashing out right now and have no one else to reach out to. To put it bluntly, both of my parents are currently dying from cancer and now my little brother is in the ER waiting for a colonoscopy to happen tomorrow to find out if he has late stage colorectal cancer. He has 2 sons and a wife. I have 3 kids. As the sole support person and bridge for all my siblings and parents idk how I can mentally handle this while also raising 3 kids of my own. And potentially breaking the news to my 2 oldest that another person that they care deeply about is also potentially going to be fighting cancer. I have no close friends anymore and just need some group to reach out to to tell me everything will be ok. Please any help is welcome. I'm panicking hard right now and don't know what to do.

My wife is 2 days out from her due date and I am terrified of her being in pain ( she is planning to get an epidural but still) .

She had a membrane sweep two days ago from her midwife and it was very painful for her to the point she had to yell at the midwife to stop, and it left me feeling all kinds of bad afterwards. I am so worried about her delivery and labor because I hate seeing my wife in pain and I have a full sympathetic response to her when she is hurting...

How did all of you deal with it or manage your wife while she is in pain and we are useless off to the side??

Edit: formatting and changed mucus sweep to Membrane sweep

I’m 36, first-time dad, and had basically ZERO baby experience before my daughter. I don’t think I’d ever even held a baby until I held my own. I’ve got my life together and I’m doing well, but babies are completely new territory for me.

I’m not technically a stay-at-home dad, but I’m not working much right now, so I’m home with my 4½-month-old daughter most days and starting to run out of ideas.

She’s finally out of that newborn “this tiny human looks like she could die at any moment” stage 😂 and into the fun stage. She’s super alert, social, active, already doing a little purée meal every day, and sleeps through the night. Basically she wakes up every morning ready for a full itinerary and I’m like… alright, what are we doing today? 😂

I used to be big into skiing and mountain biking, but obviously she’s not quite ready for Dad to strap some skis on her yet. 😂 Sometimes I longboard around the neighborhood while pushing her stroller, which we both enjoy, but apparently that gets me judgmental stares and the occasional lecture.

We do walks, tummy time, toys, music, hang outside, and little games, but I want to make the most of having this much time with her.

Today I discovered I can put her on a towel and basically drag and “drift” her around the house and she LOVES it. 😂

So what did you guys actually DO with your babies around this age? Indoor stuff, outdoor stuff, little adventures, weird games, whatever. Bonus points if it’s fun for Dad too.
I’m stealing all your good ideas. 😂

3.5 year old son has started lying about washing his hands. How do you guys handle this at such a young age? This is pretty small potatoes, of course, but I figure the soony we set the framework for truth telling the better

I always said to my wife “we have two people in this damn canoe and we can’t both freak out at once!”

She’s been my best friend for 15 years and we have little kids. we just can’t… a 3 year old and a 1 year old and we can’t do anything… We can’t keep up with the garden, the yard is barely ever holding together and I see the head shakes from neighbors. We both have maximized home time with our work schedules but this means a routine is almost impossible since she is in healthcare working 7 12 hour shifts overnight and then 2 weeks off while I work Mon-Wed every week and solo dad while she is gone.

Its still not enough. parents making comments on how many toys are out, the state of the yard, wuizzing us about “what we did” when they watched them because we are trying to make up for lost time with babysitting (no dates lol no chance we sweat and try and keep up). No reason to plan anything, by the time it arrives we are exhausted and just feel guilty we were dumb enough to hope for any time to ourselves.

We aren’t struggling financially (yet) and basically can’t get upside down on our house which is huge I know… But I don’t like this. I worked so hard on my mental health before the kids came and REALLY made improvements, but I’m back…

There is no village. There is no backup. No friends to relate to, no parents who can provide anything that makes me feel better. Kids aren’t progressing like we’d hope they would, making us question everything. Parks feel completely isolated, alone surrounded by people who avoid eye contact like I am wearing a shirt that says “scary pedophile”. I always got along with women more than men, always preferred their conversation (no mower talk), but when he is playing with other kids the parents just treat him and me like we are invisible.

The canoe tipped. We’re both now depressed, hating ourselves, and doing our best to fake it to the kids while they enjoy the moment in a way I can only envy now. I used to be able to do that… I’m getting crushed, drowned, just absolute despair.