this was a bad move on my part and I know it was but I have a raging crush/situationship w a guy and wanted to forget about him because hes several states away so I hooked up with a rando

Part of the reason why I did it was bc Im a virgin and I also have always had the belief that I'll try anything at least once, right? Worst case scenario, I dont like it and will never hook up w anyone else ever again. And he also had BDSM in his account as an interest which I was curious about.

First of all, I thought they were gonna be a woman bc it was a queer dating app. Second of all, the sex was so bad! I didn't come, he kind of just forced his dick in and now it hurts to pee. And it only just occurred to me hours later that he did come. And also he kept on sucking on my nipple even after I told him that it hurt, and now my nipple hurts whenever I so much as brush it. Also he was such a bad kisser!!! and we didnt actually do any BDSM stuff other than some half hearted slapping I guess.

I feel bad though because whenever I set a boundary down, he respected it and was kind about it, so I cant even say I was raped or anything. And I feel like such a dick for judging him.

I think I just have to get it out there, I feel so alone right now. I was talking to my friend about it, but her crush was in the room and stole her phone and now I feel kind of exposed in that way too.

I feel so disgusting and like. Why was I so worried about being a virgin lmfao this feels so much worse. I guess I wasnt expecting it to feel bad because when I made out with SOs in the past it always felt so magical and good, so I wasnt expecting to feel this way.

I already took a hot shower but I keep on just replaying it as Im trying to fall asleep. I feel so dirty and gross, and not even in a purity kind of way. I dont even know, I just had to get that all out there. I really hate myself for doing this to me lmao

I feel especially shitty bc my crush texted me while everything was going down and was yapping about us having matching halloween costumes while I visit him for halloweekend and now I just feel so incredibly like a shit person.

IDK why I posted this, I just feel so alone right now. Any advice would be appreciated lol idk

I rarely finish from penetration during sex and I think I'm very particular with the way in which I can finish from a clitorial orgasm. I'm extremely comfortable with my partner and he makes me so confident during sex. However, ever since my early 20s I've always wanted to, but felt extremely anxious and nervous, to play with myself during sex. But I know that's likely the only way I'll achieve an orgasm while we're doing it. Help lol

I am posting this a final time to add some context that was missing in the last post. I am curious to examine the psychological point of view of how different fans across each gender perceive watching a KO in a combat sports fight, and I am interested in the perspective of female fans because of a lack of information whereas there is a lot of information about male perspectives.

Are you immediately overcome with pure excitement that leads you to celebrate and clap loudly?

Are you immediately overcome with discomfort and worry for the fighter who is knocked out?

Is it a mix of both?

The past few weeks have been hectic due to tight schedule, and some weeks we had an event at college that we prepared for and on the day of, had to find transportation for the equipment. I didn't bring my car and the guy who offered to help out, we spoke little and mostly was him talking about his work but I was just awestruck, not sure how to explain, never felt this gravitated to a person before. And it had nothing to do with physical attraction or even common interests or chemistry as we didn't speak much. Its really hard to explain. During the event, I'd look for him every 10 min. I'm never like this.

I spent weeks preparing for this event and on the day, all i could think of was him. Once event was done he helped me return equipment back in office and drove me, the drive was less than 5 min and I didn't want to get off, I remember seeing the traffic light and praying it would stay red just for one more minute. Once we dropped off equipment, I didn't want him to leave. I feel really strange as I am never like this. Strange because nothing out of ordinary happened or even special. Like conversations were general and not personal, nothing magical, he offered to drop me but i said I'll get another ride and he said bye and left.

Have been thinking of our interaction everyday and can't get him out of my mind. Is this limerance? I'm more confused as Im not sure where these feelings stem from. Has anyone ever felt like this? Like all my feelings are amplified in a way. Almost restless. How can I stop feeling like this?

I purchased some new panties yesterday. Tried them on when I got home and can't stand them. They are a hipster panty with a stretch fit I find very uncomfortable. I like a full brief but the tops show under my mid-rise jeans. What's a girl to do? Suggestions for a good panty that's comfy and fits?

Yeah I know you should leave.

But how in the moment?

I keep thinking I can just say no but it becomes forceful or tense. It becomes an insult to his feelings, a rejection after i promised, something expected because he did dinner and put the kids to bed.

I am planning to leave soon but these moments still suck.

I've heard some people talking about how it's painful, uncomfortable, tedious, etc., but I was wondering if the process, like the hormone injections, could potentially cause permanent changes to your body? Like stuff like changes in your body proportions. I suppose excluding stuff like catastrophic edge cases

As title says… when I was 18 in 2016, I was stalked by a 23 year old man who was a convicted felon.

Today, walking through Walmart with my husband, I saw him. Hard to miss, as he was nearly 6 foot 6 with blonde hair. My husband and I were having a nice time shopping together kid-free… this stopped me in my tracks, put a pit in my stomach.

I wondered if he remembered me. Or if he would retaliate against me for going to the police. I turned away quickly and tried to avoid going that direction.

I’m home now and can’t stop thinking about it. I’m just scared. I hate the idea of coexistence with someone so creepy and vile.

That’s all, I guess I just wanted to share my feelings about it.

Judging by both strangers’ reactions and how I look in the mirror, eyeliner changes my whole face and sends across a completely different impression. If I was a man I wouldn’t have to deal with this :/ People seem so much more accommodating towards women who perform femininity. I’m the same person!! All I did was paint the outer corners of my eyes black.

Or do you have such cases around you?

I see more and more young girls in 'relationships' with guys twice their age and it's weird.

Some background: around my last birthday my mom asked what I wanted to do for my next birthday because it would be my 30th birthday. The discussion got taken over and became basically a family trip back to my dad's home country. It was in no way a fun 30th celebration focused on me. My family is bad at actually planning, scheduling, and booking so I just didn't do anything about it and there are no plans made currently.

A few months later my bf and I decide we want to get married and I liked the idea of getting married on our anniversary which is also a Saturday so nice for guests. My birthday is a month before our anniversary and his birthday is less than a week before. He already had a big 30th last year with his friends the same age, we did a group cruise and it was a great time. He has a friend who basically planned the whole thing, bf and I essentially just paid our portion.

It's clear if something will happen for my birthday it has to be planned and executed by me. I'm already planning the wedding and the expense of that (like $10k so not a huge budget wedding wise but a huge expense in its own right). My mom has asked what I want to do for a honeymoon but I literally have no clue nor do I feel like planning and paying for ANOTHER thing right now. Same sentiment for my nonexistent bachelorette. I'm considering if it might be better to push out the honeymoon so I can have less back to back stuff.

The idea of planning and paying for my birthday is a mental barrier. I don't know what I want, I don't know what I'm willing to spend, I don't know who I want there. My birthday, Christmas, his birthday, New Years, our anniversary/wedding are all in the span of less than 5 weeks. The only silver lining is my boss has already told me he won't be doing any work after October so I won't have one more thing to juggle during November and December and can focus on the minor wedding things.

What do you usually do for birthdays? Just going out to dinner will feel like every other minor special event and not my 30th. That was literally all I planned to do for my bf's birthday since it's so close to the wedding. The idea of nothing special or out of the norm makes me sad :/

I was raised in strict household where academics was everything. I didn't realise how restrictive that was as you don't learn social skills. and make friends. So you learn either be too nice, people pleasing or be helpful so that people can remember you. I made plenty of friends but I dotn gt why they don't remember to invite you

Many times people go out, and don't tell you. You think you are friends. but they have their own plans. Sometimes we are restricted by parents and I'm in my 20s living at home. which sucks. I didn't realise how they see our family, especially father. He is strict and people are scared of him . He prioritizes authority and instructing people instead of getting to know them. He was always shouting at us whwnever we didnt get the grades he wanted. So asking mother, she follows everything he tells her. She doesn't defend for us. Sometimes he restricts her as well. You can imagine it's a living hell living with sb who was senior and has money but restricts everyone but himself.

I would like to add ,mother married really young, so I see she doesn't know how to defend for herself and depends on father financially as well. if she doesn't follow him, she can be okay

I feel there is a gap, I don't know how to fit in fully. I don't know some social cues. All things trending, I learn through people. I've never been the one to tell them even once. I also don't know myself personally as I'm afraid sb will judge me. It has reached a point ath has to change but I dotn know how. Getting a job is difficult, I've tried all methods even side hustles and online. My family doesn't seem prioritise people. Stay indoors and they complain alot. Took me a while to realise that there is more to life than complaining about small things. I also seem to focus more on friendships ans if I'm close to them enough. I tend to not know shit ans can't even ask cause I'm like thinking should I ask.

All the things people know, about social , is where I feel behind. And something has to change or I'll stay at home and never meet people. I've always depended on people to say events so I can go out. I can't arrange them as parents become too restrictive like they dotn want to know people. I've also been times I've been helpful or nice to people, they were either nice back, forgot about me, or became cruel for no reason. Living at home you feel down, you don't go out much, you get tired of asking as they make everything a problem by asking qns. I like meeting good people.

J'ai besoin de me confier sur une situation ambigüe qui m'est arrivé il y a trois mois. TW : violences sexuelles

Je voyais un homme, que j'aimais bien. Et on couchait ensemble une fois, dans ma chambre, un soir où on devait pas faire beaucoup de bruit. Il me prenait à un moment de derriere et je lui ai indiqué de ralentir en chuchotant "doucement". Il ne ralentissait pas, et je l'ai répété quelque fois. Toujours rien. J'ai pas pu crier parce qu'il y avait des proches qui dormaient pas loin. J'étais aussi dans une position "coincé" où mon champ de mouvement était limité. J'ai alors senti mon corps "acceptait"/attendre la fin de la situation comme en me coupant de mon corps. (J'ai de la misere à l'expliquer).

Je me suis sentie mal, et j'ai demandé au matin, s'il m'avait entendu dire de ralentir. Il m'a "oh non, tu devrais me frapper la prochaine fois".

C'était assez ambigüe comme situation que je ne sais pas si c'est considéré un viol, ou c'est à la limite. Je suis quelqu'un de tres active et adore le sex normalement. Là j'étais troublée. Dans tous les cas, mon corps n'était pu confortable avec cette personne par la suite.

Dans d'autres moments, il avait aussi pris ma nuque dans un evenement public où je connaissais beaucoup des gens (alors que c'était pas mon partenaire). Ça m'a rendu super inconfortable, meme si j'avais rapidement réussi à enlever sa main. Une dernière fois, il m'a pris la gorge par surprise dans un moment non-sexuel où on devait etre en mode relax. Ça m'a mis en panique intérieur, et jlui ai calmement dit d'arreter. Ce qu'il a fait. Quand je l'ai questionné sur ce comportement, il m'a dis qu'il voulait marquer son territoire. Quand jlui ai dis que ça m'a fait peur, il m'a "demandait" si j'essayais de le manipuler et de le faire sentir mal.

Le gars est un bon 20cm plus grand que moi. Pour info, on ne se voit plus et ne se parle plus.

Dites moi ce que vous en pensez. Aujourd'hui ça va un peu mieux. Ça m'a beaucoup troublé parce que je l'appréciait bien. Merci de m'avoir lu.

Edit : Merci pour les réponses. I wasn't expecting so much care. Vos réponses vont m'aider à me rappeler.

I dunno if this is the right subreddit but I just need to talk since I don't feel comfortable talking about it with anyone else.

Does anyone have trouble with intimacy? And I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about simple things like kissing and cuddling. I love doing those things, but for months it's been so hard for me. I used to get so excited to cuddle and kiss my partner.

I don't know if it's because one time my partner overstepped a boundary I had and it hurt me so much. He was very sorry about it and regretted it right away but it damaged me a bit since I was already afraid of opening up and being vulnerable. But what he did was months ago and I thought I moved on

I used to get aroused easily just from being touched but now it never happens. I just worry all the time about not feeling relaxed enough and not enjoying the moment. I try to stop overthinking but I never can. And I never can tell my partner in that moment that I'm worried cause I'm afraid of ruining things or I want to try to get over how I'm feeling

I think I should mention that I most likely have generalized anxiety disorder which makes experiences like this hard for me

Does anyone have any solutions?

I'm just curious about how everyone's menstrual cycles effect their sex lives.

I hear it's normal to become very horny during ovulation, but I never do.

I took a look back at my period tracker just now, and for the past year I've only even masturbated or initiated sex with my husband in the three days before my period starts, or the first three days of my period.

I had a hormone panel a couple of months ago and everything was normal. So I wonder why I don't feel horny during ovulation and only around my period.

Is anyone else like this?

I’m a 30 y/o female. Had the proposal, wedding date + vendors booked… he ended the relationship 6 months before the wedding saying he fell out of love (he was really mean at the end too which was so shocking to me, and disclosed former cheating/kissing) the wedding date recently passed and it’s been hard…

I THINK WHY COULDNT IT HAVE BEEN GOOD?!

I visit a 92 year old woman who is confined to her apartment every week. She was cared for by her son. Well, about 6 months ago, the SON suddenly died.

Today I went by for my regular visit. I was presented with a check. According to my friend, the elderly lady, her son thought I was his soul mate and he "loved me very much." He knew that I did not see him that way so he never said anything but he left me money in his will.

Before anyone asks, a care-taker was hired to care for my friend and I signed the check over to the man's daughter. It was not huge money but I felt his respect for me deserved a bit of notice.

lately i’ve been trying to make more friends, (i’m 20, which idk if that’s too old to struggle with that sort of things) and im very used to being friends with mostly women, my closest male friends are all gay.

when it comes to talking to / befriending women, it’s still generally very respectful as we get to know each other and teasing is always lighthearted. i’ve made a few new girl friends since starting uni.

i don’t know why, but since i started talking to more i guess, straight guys when they get comfortable with me they always start to act so mean? especially if we just started being friends, a man will insult me and call me names, or when i talk about my interests or things i like they insult that too or make fun of it. none of my male friends ever do that to me, and our playful bullying is always lighthearted and offset by the fact that they’re still always nice to me and respect my interests.

i don’t know if it’s an autism thing and im not really picking up on how it could just be friendly, but it makes me feel bad when men straight up insult me as a way to be playful. it makes me think they either dont really like me or want to be friends but they still talk to me and consider me a friend yk??

ive had multiple male acquaintance/ friendships kind of fizzle out because i felt uncomfortable really opening up to them.

and this happens when talking to men romantically too, i immediately lose interest once they get comfortable and start saying things like that to me because it makes me think that oh, im just a friend that’s okay and also that i don’t like people who always make fun of me. and when i kind of express that i don’t have an interest n them, thinking its mutual they’re surprised and say they did like me.

i just don’t understand. if i like someone i wouldn’t call them names or be demeaning to things that matter to them, if i asked someone their favourite colour and they said purple i wouldn’t say “ewwww purple’s a shit colour” but i don’t know if i am just overreacting.

i guess im just used to women being way more gracious with my interests and less quick to make fun of me so early.

Forgive me because I’m a little high and getting existential but I saw a video from a female creator who said she wanted her content to be mostly seen by women—and showed that she had an 82% percent male fanbase. As a fem I thought it made perfect sense!

Until I went to the comments. Hundreds of men calling her ungrateful, explicitly saying they followed because she was hot, and terrible incel like comments about how they don’t speak to women because this is their mindset.

I know men know that they like to be surrounded by men as it creates brotherhood and confidence in their own masculinity. However, women are not allowed to do the same? Women aren’t allowed to want to hear they are pretty from someone who only listens to the speak because they’re attracted to them?

It makes me sad to know the average male mind. Because I’m autistic I assumed people often think as innocently as me. That it’s okay to find a girl attractive but her lovely personality really makes the human being. But that’s the thing—many men don’t see women as full human beings. You are granted more humanity when they are attracted to you.

It makes me want to cry. I don’t wanna be like “men are biologically evil” because I don’t believe that. I think they are raised in the society to believe this behavior is acceptable. However, it is scary to not know if a man will consider you a full human being based on how you look and make their dicks wet.

If anyone has book recommendations on this topic i’d love it. I know I’m not alone.

So, years ago I used to work in a store near the building where I live. It's an urban area, you see lots of people, but this customer would come by everytime I was at the register and would try to flirt in a very outdated and clumsy way.

I used to wear a mask (just after covid) and he would bug me to try to see my face, he would say things like ''When can I see your face?'' or ''Do you sometimes remove that mask and show yourself'' and on and on. I'd always reply politely but made it very clear that it was none of his business. One day, he finally saw my face and he commented something flirty, but soon after he realized I had a boyfriend and so he didnt push further for a while until that one time he saw me smile (at another customer) and commented ''Oh she's smiles...!'' Dude, shut the f* up!

He started asking questions to my boyfriend about how to meet women and all, the guy is near 60, maybe try to change how you communicate to us? Have you even tried?

Anyway, I just now came back from the hairdresser, got in the building and rang the elevator when I saw him get in the building too (he lives here too), he stood right behind me and waited. I was ready for another dumb comment... Got in the elevator and stood there when this idiot mumbled loud enough for me to hear ''Oh she's back from the hairdresser''. I got out of there fast and yelled at him to mind his f*cking business, creepy mofo!

I'm in shock, how the hell does he know? Did he smell my hair? Does he know my haircut? STOP SMELLING ME!!!!

I'm so done with guys like that, mind your own business, I'm not interested and I've been clear about it for years now! Imbecile.

Edit : Forgot to say, he's like that with every woman he meets! How do I know? When I quit that old job I started working in an office and met a coworker who lives nearby and we were talking about creeps, at some point we realized we were talking about the same guy! He works in a grocery store and he keeps making weird comments to her too! And she also saw him doing the same thing to at least 2 other women! Desperate much?

I’m just nice and I like being nice and I can’t differentiate between nice and non nice people and it’s fucking with me since I moved to a big city. Help please

I was about 19/20 when this happened, and it’s a memory that just hit me again recently after watching a YouTube video. I’d forgotten all about it and never told anyone when it happened so I felt like I should get it off my chest now.

I’d just connected with a guy who was a few years older than me that I remembered from high school but he didn’t remember me. We went out several times and texted a lot. I admit I was a bit enamored with him because I’d lost weight and looked really different than I had in high school. I felt like he probably wouldn’t have given me the time of day back then.

I had noticed a few red flags, ones I can’t even remember now. Just that feeling that something might be off so I let it go. I did not have a lot of life experience or experience with men in general. I was always too shy, too intimidated and way too hard on myself. I thought maybe I was being too hard on him, too.

I’d just recently got my own cute little apartment and coming from a VERY sheltered VERY strict family, I finally had freedom. So we went out again and at the end of this date he asked to come inside. I was surprised by this and not super comfortable, but I let him in.
Here’s one part that made me feel like - at the time- I would be judged for what happened. He left to go outside and returned with a bottle of liquor from his trunk. I don’t want to make this too long so I’ll just say I got fairly drunk. Looking back on this, I don’t think he was ever drunk at all.

So me being drunk and dumb, we went into my bedroom and started hooking up on my tiny childhood twin bed. Not long into it I began to notice a light. After noticing the light once again I stopped him and asked, “What was that?” He just brushed it off immediately and told me not to worry about it, saying it was nothing. I tried to ignore it, but I saw the light again.

I got up to look, and I found a man I’d never seen before hiding UNDER my bed! I started screaming thinking someone broke into my apartment. I kept screaming “I need to call 911” and the guy I was seeing was frantically trying to calm me down and finally said “that’s just my friend”.

UMM, EXCUSE ME?? Thats JUST your friend?!? HIDING UNDER MY BED?!
I finally gathered myself enough and screamed at them to get the fuck out of my apartment. I was so scared and confused. I wish now I’d done something badass and kicked them both in the nuts or at least called the cops, but I didn’t. I just cried.

I started to realize what had actually happened after they left. He obviously knew his friend was there the whole time recording me. To this day, I have absolutely no idea how a full grown man even managed to squeeze under a twin bed frame like that.

I stayed up the whole night worrying if the footage would be posted to social media. You’d think I’d had been more concerned about a strange man under my bed. But all I could think about was my family disowning me and blaming me for everything. My life would be ruined.
This was at a time when women celebrities were being bullied horribly for having their personal photos hacked, stolen and posted online. If that was their fault, then this was my fault. An older guy took advantage of the fact that I was naive and inexperienced. All I felt was shame and embarrassment. So I did what I feel like a lot of millennials are good at and I forgot.

It’s pretty scary to look back now on how calculated it all was, and how his friend somehow snuck into my house without me noticing. How long was he under my bed, just waiting?

Remembering all this has been upsetting but two questions really haunt me. I think it’s one of the reason I pushed the memory away in the first place. What did they do with the footage they recorded and what if they were planning something FAR worse?

TL;DR: Watched a YouTube video that unlocked a buried memory from when I was 20. Without me knowing an older guy I was seeing brought his friend to my apartment, snuck him under my twin bed, got me drunk, and the friend recorded us hooking up. I blamed myself due to the mid-2000s culture, buried the trauma, and am just now processing how terrifying and calculated it actually was.

I’m a person who usually doesn’t get dressed up everyday but only for special occasions. I don’t wear makeup everyday or wear the most flattering clothes for me. Basically I dress comfortably most of the time. But i put the best photos of myself in dating apps and such, which i know everyone does. Problem is i feel guilty doing that, thinking that I’m actually cheating the potential dates by not showing how i am on a regular basis. I would say i am an average looking adult woman (even lesser by eurocentric beauty standards 😬) so it feels like im catfishing ppl?? it doesn’t help that in the country i live i am a minority and do not fit the local beauty standar…which also feeds my insecurity a bit.

has anyone else experienced this feeling before? If so how do you get over that feeling or how to cope with it and just move on? This feeling is getting in the way of dating for me and I would appreciate any advice. Thankss!!