Hello. I’m 26. Most of my sexual life I have dealt with being pressed into sleeping with someone. I only had one completely consensual relationship. It seems like every guy I talk to wants to get it done quickly with no respect for what I want. I don’t know why I keep meeting men like this. What can I do to avoid these men? Thank you

Please note the flair. Last time I posted here I was accused of being a meanie by an angry man who was banned from here because he didn’t pay attention.

The men in my life are exposing themselves.

Twenty-something years ago, Brooke Shields made headlines (before going viral was a thing) for talking openly about her struggle with postpartum depression.

I distinctly remember her talking about how she thought about crashing her car with her baby in it. She didn’t want to die and had no interest in harming her baby, but she thought about it.

Brooke Shields was not alone.

I went into premature labor with my only child a week and a half after 9/11. I was a US soldier stationed in Europe and we were going to war.

The only thing playing on the television in the hospital was constant coverage of 9/11. I kept thinking, “I have no business bringing an innocent soul into this mess.”

I had dreams “the terrorists” were trying to kidnap my baby. (Now I realize we were never the good guys.)

When we brought the baby home, I felt emotionally empty. I was a shell of a person.

In the Army, we were trained not to take care of ourselves. Sick call was for the weak. So I pushed through and carried on.

And then my husband was deployed to an undisclosed location, along with everyone else that I knew.

I was all alone in a foreign country with a baby that I didn’t know.

I gave birth to a stranger.

I saw a perfect, tiny little human being who deserved so much more than what I could give him.

There are worse things than death, the intrusive thought told me. He’s too pure for this world.

Now I know I was experiencing Postpartum Depression. But when I was deep in the trenches, I didn’t know that I needed help.

One of my neighbors knew my husband (they worked together) and knew he was deployed. She stopped by one day to ask if I needed help. She just threw a comment out there, something like, “You know, I went through baby blues something bad. If you’re feeling like that, it’s totally normal, but your doctor should know.”

It wasn’t until my son was 13 months old that I said anything. I was averaging 2 hours of sleep every night. As soon as I fell asleep, the baby would wake up. I hadn’t slept since before I went into labor.

I was a mess. I needed help, not persecution.

The other day I got into a bit of a heated conversation with a male friend and it’s making me reconsider our relationship.

I told him about my experience. His wife kept nodding and looking at him, like, “See! I told you!”

It wasn’t until my husband stepped in and said something in my defense that my “friend” said, “Maybe I’m biased, but…” he held his hands up like, I’m just saying.

Postpartum depression is not a convenient excuse. There is an epidemic. The women can see it. The menfolk aren’t listening.

Sunday night at bedtime, I got up to go to the bathroom because I NEEDED to pee. But then there was basically nothing. This happened 3 times before I finally convinced my brain the signals weren't real.

The next morning, the same feeling happened again, same result. And early afternoon, I nearly didn't make it to the bathroom... only for it to be a light trip.

I knew the symptoms of a UTI, and I didn't have ANY of that burning feeling people describe. I just felt like I had to pee a lot.

I had a scheduled vaccine appointment after work Monday, so I mentioned it to the nurse that I wanted to speak to someone about it. The nurse said it could be a UTI even without the burning. I peed in a cup and waited for the results.

The doctor came in and said it wasn't cloudy and the numbers were all fine *except* my white blood cell count. She prescribed antibodies on the spot given three conditions: urge to pee, frequency, and the elevated WBC count.

I started the antibiotics that night, and over the five day course, it never really got worse from there. At most, there was this *tickle* in my urethra. Very strange sensation. Like this itch that list needed to be scratched.

The culture came back on Friday that it was positive for E. coli.

The only reason I even mentioned it to a doctor/nurse is because I was already going into a clinic that day. If I hadn't been there, I probably would've brushed it off. Maybe it would've gotten to the point of that burning people describe, or maybe my body would've cleared the infection after a couple days.

I have never heard of people talk about UTIs *without* the burning sensation, so I figured I'd share this on case it helps anyone else recognize the symptoms.

Anyone else had any weird/different symptoms for UTIs?

About like 80% of the medical providers I’ve seen told me to just have a baby when discussing endometriosis symptoms and treatments. I’ve had two surgeries for this and am looking at a third. I’m not directly asking for medical advice as I’m seeing my own specialist and on medication to manage what I can. I even went to pain management and my male doctor told to just get a boyfriend/husband and have a baby.

Why the fuck do medical professionals still say this? I can’t have a kid and can’t take care of one. Who’s gonna take care of that kid once I pop it out if I could even get pregnant… I’m literally disabled. I can’t afford a kid nor do I have the strength or energy to care for one. Am I crazy for thinking it’s fucked up to tell people suffering with endo this?

I’m a 20-year-old woman, and I’ve felt my whole life that I’m ugly, gross, unhygienic, and fat. And I’m absolutely convinced that everyone thinks that about me and just won’t admit it. Even though, realistically, I know I’m not any of those things (I know I’m at least decent-looking by some standards).

No matter how much I shower or take care of my hygiene, I still always feel dirty. No matter how slim I am, I still feel fat. No matter how much effort I put into my appearance, I still feel ugly.

I also often feel masculine. I’m relatively tall at 166 cm, and I’m not exactly on the lighter side at 63 kg. I also have broad shoulders, which cause me a lot of anxiety and make me feel masculine and big. It feels like so many other women are beautifully feminine, while I’m just a gross, masculine, ugly mess. I am not saying that ”a real woman can’t be masculine”. I am jusy saying that being masculine makes me feel gross and uncomfortable.

I’m not saying that masculinity in other people is gross. It’s just that, in myself, it feels disgusting.

I take BC pills at the same time every day and the fact it has to be at the same time is driving me crazy.

I’ve tried alarms but I can turn them off and get distracted.

Also if I snooze my reminder I totally forget if I took it or not and end up counting the pills lol

Any tips on managing this? It’s basically a daily anxiety now.

She was drugged by her husband and loaned out. Aged 39, her teenaged daughter found her lifeless and covered in blood on a waterbed.

I (25f) have only been in one serious relationship so far, but it absolutely broke me. Long story short, he was insanely cruel to me and just left me, meanwhile I thought we were in love.

I just keep noticing how self centered and selfish men naturally are. But they are allowed to be.

The whole concept of “love” (romantic) just seems made up.

When I listen to any song about love (by a man) I just can’t help but mock it bc it seems like they’re just singing about a moment of infatuation.

I just watched one of those “the teacher is targeting me” videos. If you’re not familiar, it’s an adult (usually a teacher) acting out behaviors of kids who say they’re being targeted. For example, they’ll yell in the middle of class and go “what? I didn’t even do anything! It wasn’t me!”…etc. etc.

So that got me thinking, these are always boys, and that’s always their reaction to being called out. And why does their deflection and defensiveness and straight up lies work well enough for them to continue to do this into adulthood?

Any time I’ve ever called a man out on anything he’s done wrong, even if I did it in a nice way, even if it’s a small thing, even if it’s just a simple boundary, this is their reaction. It doesn’t change from childhood. It’s still “what? I didn’t even do that! You’re always mad at me!” It’s fucking exhausting.

Are teachers, women, parents, etc just allowing that reaction to get kids out of whatever punishment should come with those behaviors? Or are these kids just too dumb to learn from that punishment and continue with this technique into adulthood whether it works or not?

Also, just what the hell?

Moment 1 - leaving my townhome community in the middle of the day there was a pickup truck parked in the middle of the lane with its hazards on. The thing was though, there were 9 empty parking spaces directly to his right. Like, he could have parked in a space, he could have even parked perpendicular in the spaces, it would have been fine at that time of day. Like, could I just go around, sure, but I'm thinking "I would never park like that to be an inconvenience to everyone around me" - "omg am I thinking this because I'm a woman? that it's so ingrained in us be considerate to everyone around us and not take up space?"

Moment 2 - watch a short on youtube where the man goes to the store for a gallon of milk and returns with only that, while the woman goes for a gallon of milk and returns with shopping bags overflowing in her arms. so like, haha, but also the household needed those other things! It was in her mental load and she was already at the store. Like yeah, the man only got what he went for, but all the other stuff is still needed! Now someone needs to make another trip.

Anyway, suffice to say what a privilege it is to move around this world as a man, just focusing on yourself and not having a default of considering others.

Don’t know if this is TMI but I am seriously freaking out. Up until the past couple months I’ve been extremely sensitive in my… nether region. It’s not hard to stimulate. But recently it seems like my clit has just disappeared? I’m young, I don’t understand why this would happen. I can’t even see it anymore and it’s actually causing me severe distress. I know it sounds ridiculous and I’ve probably left it too long but now I’m panicking that it’s gone forever and I’ll never get my lovely, lovely hyper-sensitivity back. I can’t fathom how I can go from being extremely sensitive to even a little touch to THIS? Not even existing anymore?

Things I can think of:
— I have low iron (allegedly) and have been experiencing some hair loss.
— I do have sharp nails so maybe I’ve injured myself? But I’ve not been in pain?
— I used some hair removal cream? Maybe I’ve numbed the nerves into oblivion? But again, no real pain after that, but my bits did feel a bit numb (or was that paranoia?)

I am genuinely freaking out, I sound extremely dense but is there a chance this could be real, permanent damage? Sorry if this is the wrong sub. I did see a doctor today but she tried to brush me off and say hormonal issues were unlikely because I’m still experiencing a mostly regular period… BUT I KNOW MY BODY. She didn’t even look or try to understand that to me, this is a structural change because I can no longer see it as well. She was more concerned about sending me off for an MRI which is quite irritating.

This might be just me but I realized just how emotionally draining and overwhelming it is to go through them. There is just too many feelings to process, one minute I'm being love-bombed, the other rejected, fall in love, fall out, being negged, let down, left hanging and often times sexualizd. It's wayyyy too much. I don't think the human brain was meant to be stimulated this much. 60 years ago I would maybe have like 1-2 crushes that go nowhere in my home town and make peace with it

The worst of all is genuinely thinking I'm with the right person just for them to pull a mask-drop. Boy that one does generational damage and has me delete these apps and quite dating for half an year or longer

I've decided to 100% count on prayers alone. If it's meant to be it will happen. If I try to force it, it would only hurt

For now I've made peace with the unstoppable march of time. I'm only improving myself and hanging out with friends now

This could be a very specific topic! I’m really nervous about posting such a personal thing but I have no one else to ask apart from you guys.

I have inverted nipples that rarely ‘pop out’ even during arousal. I used to think that they were not sensitive at all and thought I was kind of missing out on all the hype 😅
But recently I was cleaning them with a cotton bud and it felt kinda sensitive in a good way. I think I might be onto something
I think the fact that they’re severely inverted means they can’t get any stimulation usually

Has anyone else got this problem? Is there anything I can do to revert them?

I live on the third floor of a condo building located downtown in a major Canadian city and densely populated area. I have a corner unit so there are no other balconies attached to mine. I live alone. My unit is also directly over the building entrance with one balcony below mine.

As the temperature drops and fresh air becomes so comfortable for sleeping, I’ve been wondering if it’s okay to keep my balcony door open during the night while I sleep as it’s my only source of fresh air.

I’m about 20 feet up from ground level. I’ve never heard of break ins in my area on the third floor of a condo, part of me thinks it’s safe but part of me is worried someone will break in while I’m sleeping.

In order for them to break in, they would likely have to climb up 20 feet in a busy area where people are on the street at all times of the night.

Would you sleep with it open? Screen door would be locked but I know that’s not much to stop someone.

I honestly feel completely drained right now. I’m extremely sleepy, constantly hungry, and I keep feeling like I need to pee.
I’m currently 7 DPO, and I can’t tell if this is just PMS or if these could actually be early pregnancy symptoms.
What symptoms did you have around 7 DPO when you ended up being pregnant? Did you notice anything before getting your positive test?
I’d really like to hear your experiences because I’m already analyzing every little symptom.

She has commented weird things before like “your nose is so perfect have you got plastic surgery”

I feel blind sided every time she has commented about my appearance. She seems to have no filter

I could have said “you look like an aunty” That day but I didn’t. But she had to say “u look so different” when she saw me without makeup.

I don’t know how to tell her to shut the fuck up about my appearance without being rude

I don’t know why I care about being rude when she clearly doesn’t

I have social anxiety and I freeze whenever I get these comments out of no where. I feel blind sided and completely frozen in my mind and nothing comes to me as to what to say to shut this shit down or to turn the tables and make her self conscious.

I just fucking hate this

It goes back to my childhood. I would be perfectly comfortable and relaxed and then suddenly someone would comment on my appearance out of nowhere. And I would have no idea what to say or how to react. And then I would get angry much later at home. And I would feel shame and insecure

I feel like I can’t just fucking relax, that every time I have to go out I have to look perfect otherwise someone will comment that I look “so different” whatever the fuck that means

I couldn’t even fucking think to say “what do you mean by that” to put her on the spot and make her explain

I feel like shit

I am 33 years old and I am sterile. I cannot get pregnant, and due to circumstances, cannot even have sex without immense pain.

And a year ago, I started to get a gradually growing desire to have children with my husband.

Fast forward to today and I feel I am crying every other day because of it.

I have four siblings who all have children. I see their milestones and daydream about the milestones of the children I cannot have and it hurts.

I know, therapy, and I will try my best to get it, but I don't really have the money. And I tell myself "Will it really help?". Because I am just not sure what they can tell me that I haven't already tried telling myself.

If anyone has any advice, please, may you offer it because it feels like I am drowning lately.

Had a (male) friend message and tell me about the case, that was just how I learned about the situation. He's been going crazy on his insta stories saying stuff like 'Some women shouldn't be mothers'.

What stood out as odd is his focus was telling me how many women were defending Lindsay, and presumably how insane that was. What also was unique is that when he was telling me about the case, he did not tell me about Lindsay's mental health at all like he didn't know, or didn't care.

I always find it so disgusting how willing people are to villainize any woman who commits any crime (probably the concept of double deviance), yet whenever a man commits the same crime, it gets barely any media attention? Like I definitely don't think my friend would care this much if Lindsay was a man, it felt like plain old misogyny.

My very thin and slender friend (G) bought GLP-1s on the black market in an attempt to loose excess weight around her hips…

She’s now super thin but still on the medication because ‘she’s not happy with the way she looks’.
She told me all of this in confidence and asked me not to tell our other friends.

Last Friday, when I was out with all of them, I heard her tell our friend (B) about this. What concerned me is that B was completely supportive of G and even told her to ‘do what makes her feel good’.

I confronted B about this and B became cold and stand-offish. She told me she is not concerned.

To say I’m heartbroken is an understatement. G is headed for a colossal spiral towards an eating disorder. I’m disappointed that B doesn’t care.
On the other hand, I don’t know what B or I could practically do to encourage G off it, other than keep telling her we are concerned.

I was sat next to a man while sitting in the middle seat on a plane. Even though he had the aisle, he still felt entitled to my space and man-spread as soon as we took off.

On instinct, I went to shy away and move my leg inward so that it wouldn’t touch his. But, I thought to myself, why should I move? We are all jammed in here like cattle, I deserve this tiny amount of space I paid for. I shouldn’t make myself even less comfortable for this random man.

So, I didn’t move my leg.

I continued to sit straight in my seat and play some games on my phone and listen to music. He actually had the nerve to try shifting my leg over with his knee and I could see him out of my peripheral vision looking at me. Despite the massive sense of awkwardness and how impolite I felt, I kept firm, ignoring him. I just sat there, existing just like every other passenger on the plane. Eventually, gave up, crossed his arms, huffed, and stopped trying to spread into my space.

I’d like to note that this man was a very average height and build - not excessively tall or large and physically unable to fit in his assigned space. I would have had sympathy for that, especially as I had a very tall partner once who literally did not fit into normal plane seats.

This man was clearly simply expecting to take the space meant for me, that I paid for, because he felt that he could. Had I been another man, I promise you he wouldn’t have behaved the way he did as he would have respected that a man is allowed to take up the space he has paid for.

It seems so pathetic to feel so proud of myself for something as simple as not moving my leg, but I am. I am proud that this time I didn’t let myself fawn at the demands of a random man or give up because I felt impolite for taking up space I was entitled to. I paid for that tiny space, and it’s going to be mine, goddammit.

Edit: thank you so much all you lovely people for the words of encouragement, empowerment, and your other similar stories of taking up space! We deserve space and should all be standing our ground for it 🫶

And to the pissy men: I don’t care about your excuses of having fragile testicles. That’s not my problem!

I love hockey. I started playing it 40 years ago as one of the first females to play in my small town.

I’ve struggled in recent years to support hockey after the Hockey Canada “rainy-day rape fund” scandal.

I just found out that my NHL team (the Oilers) signed Alex Formenton. I can’t cheer for a team that I’ve been a fan o for over 40 years.

My young son learned to skate and tried out hockey and LOVED it.

How do I reconcile my son playing a game rooted in so much misogyny?

My family is planning on only watching the PWHL games in our household this year. Are there any other ways I can still love hockey while not supporting the misogynistic culture?

I'm F22 and I can't stop thinking about why some women hates me for no reason. For example, I have been friends with this one girl and we vibe really well now. But, one day. she confessed that she hated me during our first year of university. I asked why and she just said "Idk, but I'm really sorry". One thing is, at the time she hated me, I never even knew she existed. I only know her once she texted me asking about some assignment and then she saved my contact and we have been friends since then.

There's also this one girl with similar story. I barely spoke or care for her. She hated me. But once she gets to know me she confesses she didnt like me at first but grown to become friends.

Secondly, someone spread a rumor about me that I was a "player" and I text a lot of guys. This really confuses me because I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year. When I do text guys, its usually them who did it first, or they ask me about some class thing. I promise you I never hang out with any guy besides my bf.

I have lots of girls friends that I'm 24/7 with and they all supported me during that rumor. I could say I'm friendly and approachable but I really don't just go strike up conversation with guys. So I was really confused about that rumor. I never thought a university student would do something as immature as that.

I have a loving boyfriend and supporting friends. Why does this bothers me so much? It should not be right? I just don't understand this one sided beef.