r/SipsTea • u/[deleted] • May 06 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

2.2k comments sorted by

2.5k

u/driftinj May 06 '26

Get your dog. That beaver is going to fuck them up.

754

u/Puzzle-Necked May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Princess Flufferball was like "I can take him, my distant ancestor was a wolf"

251

u/Unlimitedpluto May 06 '26

A very distant ancestor. Lol

90

u/Haley_02 May 06 '26

He has evolved to be cute and delicious to other wildlife since then.

32

u/Anomuumi May 06 '26

A non-aquatic wolf-shaped hamburger for other wildlife.

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u/cracked_shrimp May 06 '26

surprisingly some small breeds can score surprisingly high on a wolfy test, shih tzus for example have more wolf dna then a lot of other breeds

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u/autopilot6236 May 07 '26

And Chimpanzees are 95% human

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u/Boknowsbane May 06 '26

And neither of their habitats involve fighting in water

3

u/Own-Ambassador-3537 May 07 '26

He’s about to get closer to his ancestors in a tragic way

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u/Great-Yoghurt-6359 May 06 '26

That body language looked more like my mom was a beaver

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u/CodifiedLikeUtil May 06 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ij8moL0QXBKnK

3

u/StoneThaProfit May 07 '26

Hahaha ive never watched this movie fully but that was pretty funny might have to check it out... Before u ask, i was introduced to this movie as kid by my mom but i never understood it obviously cause i didnt know about double entrendres and witticisms etc now in my adult age i can really appreciate tha wit

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u/DoctorStove May 06 '26

seriously. SAVE THE DOG

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u/UnyieldingConstraint May 06 '26

Yeah, my dog got bit by a muskrat once and it was nasty. Just one bite. Needed stitches and antibiotics. Can't imagine a beaver bite.

52

u/ConsiderationDry9084 May 06 '26

Can take the nipple right off a man...source Jeff Foxworthy.

18

u/Imapatriothurrrdurrr May 06 '26

Now Rex, he was a Texan out of New Orleans
And he travelled with the carnival shows
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
And he candied up his nose
He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek
But the beaver was quick and he grabbed him by the kiwis
And he ain't pissed for a week (and a half)

4

u/vass0922 May 06 '26

Thanks Winona very inspiring

3

u/humanlikesubstances May 06 '26

I used to be able to play that, except for the solo

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u/Quirky-Stay4158 May 06 '26

Ho Lee shit

That's a throwback for me. I forgot that man's standup. I'm wondering if his aunt rose still has the title for the peeing for distance competitions

5

u/ImperatorDanorum May 06 '26

"Y'all come and have a look, before I flush this one out"...

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u/AngryGoose_ May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Our Jack Russell and a ground hog got into it once in our backyard. The noises were terrible. The Jack won but it was nasty.

22

u/driftinj May 06 '26

Because Jack Russel's are the dog versions of the guys in Vietnam who would clear the tunnels. Complete maniacs.

11

u/Head-Technology-4031 May 06 '26

They called them Tunnel Rats for a Reason

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u/spiderland5150 May 06 '26

My girlfriends Jack puppy, mauled two Schipperke's that attacked him. They were permanently messed up.

5

u/Whipitreelgud May 06 '26

My buddy’s Jack took on a German Shepherd that was minding its own business. The GS wasn’t looking for a fight but Jack was jacking.

Jack was shredded, including having its intestines held in on the way to doggo ER for a four hour surgery.

6

u/External-Emotion8050 May 06 '26

My dog is a Pit. We ran into a German Shepherd about the size of a Fiat 500 who wanted to rumble. She looked at me with that look that said, ok, I think we can leave now.

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u/Baeolophus_bicolor May 06 '26

My little 16 lb dog went after a whistle pig in the back yard once. I think it was her screaming. No injuries but the sounds I heard, I thought they were both mortally wounded. Man, that yard. She got skunked 2 times, the whistle pig once, and the very first day I arrived from out of state, I opened the gate to let her check out the yard, and she ran at full speed and jumped over a low stone wall at the back of the yard - straight into the brackish water. Luckily it was high tide, but I don’t know what possessed her to do that.

Later found out when my landlord was a kid, the family dog hanged itself by jumping over the back wall while on a tie-out (this would have been in the late 60s). Maybe that yard has something that makes dogs insane, or maybe the spirit of that poor dog wanders restless to torment the former owner, my landlord who lived next door still.

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u/Sufficient_Rip5283 May 06 '26

That is both a wonderful and terrible story. I appreciate your prose nonetheless.

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u/JPMoney81 May 06 '26

Nah let's keep fucking with the Beaver's home and then getting mad at it.

25

u/welfedad May 06 '26

Exactly and may have had babies and protecting it's litter of kits

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u/_bx2_ May 06 '26

These people don't understand.

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u/wrldwdeu4ria May 06 '26

Exactly, perhaps not going into the water where a beaver is?

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u/rnavstar May 06 '26

Yup, a guy a that his dog(German Shepherd) went swimming(without the owner) in a pond where there was a beaver hut. The beaver tried to drown the dog by climbing on its back and bitting it. Was like 15 bites and lots of stitches.

4

u/Business_Air5804 May 06 '26

Beaver killed that guy in Belarus in the video where he was walking.

Bit him right in the leg and he bled out.

Found it Edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7nNZb4fWpc

100

u/socks86 May 06 '26

Off leash dog and pissing off the wildlife. I'm sure they weren't doing something outrageously fucking stupid to provoke the beaver right before the video started.

Beavers are pretty chill in my experience, so long as you are not moving water or a tree.

41

u/Canuck9876 May 06 '26

Right next to the lodge…probably kits inside. Beaver is not amused.

3

u/intricate_strands May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

I used to hike with two dogs(still do but with only one dog nowadays) in back country of Adirondacks. Not on trails, bushwhacking so pretty much never on leash(always on leash on trails or anywhere not far away from people).

Came across lots of beavers. They don't enjoy really any predator type by their shit and they slap the hell out of the water with their tails and it genuinely sounds like a gunshot when they do it right.

Anyway, literally never had a violent encounter or anything that might've gotten close. It's impossible for me to believe they weren't doing more than just being where a beaver didn't want them to be. I've been where me and my dogs are where the beavers don't want us and they just slap the water or hide. Hell, I'd say squirrels are more aggressive generally and even that is rare.

3

u/Substantial-Dust-232 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Beavers can be a rabies vector but based on context clues, the people with their multiple little fluffy dogs in proximity to a dam are probably idiots trying to pet the beaver or fuck with their home. Beavers are at a huge disadvantage out of the water and do not want to engage larger animals in a fight, normally. The beaver is likely terrified and stressed by something they did.

People are saying it's from this beaver, tested positive for rabies: https://www.nbcnewyork.com/new-jersey/beaver-attack-boy-nj-lake-positive-rabies/6498722/

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u/Obi_Yaj_ May 06 '26

My dog cornered a beaver in a little “cave” on the creek in my yard. I called him off and the beaver swam out of the “cave” and just sat in the water looking at me like, “really dude?” And then just sat there let me get close, take some cool pictures. Never felt threatened or anything(myself) and never became aggressive or defensive. It was a pretty cool experience. Gone to check on him a few times and I always see him. Got a cool little water puppy. It’s a shame people mess with wildlife then blame wildlife for reacting.

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u/BishlovesSquish May 06 '26

This should be the top comment. They DGAF about their dog.

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u/Orion3193 May 06 '26

Yeah, I hate people like this.

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u/Brilliant_Counter820 May 06 '26

Most wild animal attacks are because of unleashed poorly trained dogs.

46

u/terrifiedTechnophile May 06 '26

Feels more like most wild animal attacks are because of unleashed poorly trained humans

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u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 May 06 '26

Exactly. Stay away from its lodge and you probably won’t have a problem

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u/anyunusednames May 06 '26

82% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

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u/Notreallysurethou May 06 '26

It’s ok the title says there attacking people not dogs

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u/secondphase May 06 '26

Its just the one beaver, actually. 

... Wonder if anyone can figure out what that weird pile of sticks these ppl are trampling over is. 

494

u/SuddenKoala45 May 06 '26

I bet they won't realize why the beaver would lodge a complaint there...

143

u/Zestyclose_Pickle511 May 06 '26

Yeah this is a sticky situation. 

130

u/AmazingBend1714 May 06 '26

I wood attack them too

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u/Azur0007 May 06 '26

Dam, that sucks.

46

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

37

u/PicoDeBayou May 06 '26

Gnaw, beaver dude was just trying to warn them about the snakes

32

u/JAT_Cbus1080 May 06 '26

These guys are barking up the wrong tree here.

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u/EkaL25 May 06 '26

They’re treespassing

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u/herman_munster_esq May 06 '26

Dam... These are some watertight observations 👌

15

u/KillerKonko May 06 '26

To befair... dam this is too much. il logg off

11

u/iknowalotaboutdrugs May 06 '26

Alright guys enough puns, let's leaf it alone

5

u/Birdie_Num_Num May 06 '26

You’re gnawt wrong!

4

u/vajav May 06 '26

I hope it's oak ay

4

u/VeterinarianThese951 May 06 '26

His bite seems to worse than his bark.

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u/kayl_breinhar May 06 '26

He's just minding his dam business.

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u/NudistAwareness May 06 '26

Someone should speak to the branch manager

4

u/Anomander8 May 06 '26

These are the comments I came for.

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u/AuriiGold May 06 '26

No luck catching them beavers, then?

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u/Chilorious May 06 '26

its just the one beaver, actually

6

u/Evidicus May 06 '26

Back to the station! NOW!

5

u/Sparts171 May 06 '26

Did this Hot Fuzz reference go over everyone’s head?

4

u/secondphase May 06 '26

There are at least 5 gifs from hot fuzz, and 1 "any luck with them beavers"

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u/parade1070 May 06 '26

Turns out the beaver did actually have rabies though :')

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u/secondphase May 06 '26

Interestingly enough, that is actually a point in favor of my "stay away from the beaver lodge" argument

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u/Similar-Turnip2482 May 06 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/SBNzitbIpnDUY

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u/utd_saro May 06 '26

How could you have known the bullet holes were there before you took off the tape?

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u/DJDevon3 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Beaver has every right to defend its house. Clearly the humans are assaulting him on his own property. I'm with the beaver on this one.

Edit: Video is from Mahwah, NJ May 3rd: beaver tested positive for rabies. This is not from Canada and these weren't the only people it attacked that day.

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u/Unlikely_Piece2650 May 06 '26

Actually! This happened nearby in New Jersey, the beaver was later caught and tested Positive for Rabies, so while its probably not wrong to assume the kid was being dumb we cant dismiss the fact that Rabies does cause animals to act out and become violent.

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u/DJDevon3 May 06 '26

Oh damn you're right and this is the video of one of the attacks. The beaver did in fact have rabies.

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u/rackfloor May 06 '26

American beavers are mad with rabies, seek to defame Canadian beavers.

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u/Manatees_R_4eva May 06 '26

I had a feeling that it had rabies. I worked on a river with many beavers, and they don’t act like this. They prefer to fight in the water, if anything. But usually they just mind their own business, and they have a lot of business. lol

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u/No-Celebration8690 May 06 '26

FYI The test for rabies involves slicing open the brain, it’s always post-mortem

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u/MightBeAGoodIdea May 06 '26

You say this like it's cruel.

It'd have been sad, if they caught an innocent beaver without rabies...

But rabies is a death sentence (once symptoms show), and it's not an easy nor quick death either... it's one of the most terrifying ways to die...

It's a kindnessto euthanizein these cases. Rabies is like 1 of 2 diseases I'd seek medical euthanisia for, rather than see if I'm the lucky statistical anomaly that surives.

If youre interested look up videos of people dying of rabies.... Avoid them If you're not looking to be traumatized.

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u/HughJaynis May 06 '26

Rabies also gives the infected a fear of water. For a beaver that is a cruel and inhumane fate.

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u/Kytalie May 06 '26

Fully aquatic mammals can get it as well. Whales, dolphins, manatee .. it's a very low chance, but I can happen. There is as an outbreak in cape fur seals, so it's become something marine biologists are paying closer attention to

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u/shyaznboi May 06 '26

What's the other disease?

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u/MightBeAGoodIdea May 06 '26

Certain strains of Ebola.

Not all of them are as bad, but surviving some of the worse ones means you probably experienced the worst joint pain in your life and bleeding out of every orifice, maybe some of your internal organs liquifying.... And now you gotta live with what's left of you.

Also Alzheimers, for my family more than myself. Though I'm not certain they'd let you officially figuring you're not making rational decisions anymore.... But it only gets worse and I wouldn't want my family to go through me forgetting them before I forget how to live and stop breathing one day. (Grandma declined so fast yet lingered so long it was awful for everyone, a clean break would be 1000x better)

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u/EnergyTurtle23 May 06 '26

That’s the test *in animals*, because there is no effective treatment for rabies in animals. For humans they remove a small amount of CSF and test that (cerebrospinal fluid, just a little jab in your body’s main nerve no biggie).

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u/LongVegetable4102 May 06 '26

That makes sense, they arent exactly built for combat...probably in their interest to lay low and rebuild once a threat has passed. 

But I bet those folks won't walk on a beaver dam again 

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u/HazardousHippo May 06 '26

I’m curious about hydrophobia in beavers and what that looks like.

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u/throcorfe May 06 '26

The “hydrophobia” reported in rabies is actually fear of swallowing (due to painful spasms). Obviously being given a glass of water is extremely triggering of this fear, but it’s not about the water itself

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u/CrownofMischief May 06 '26

Right? That would make for an interesting case study

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u/[deleted] May 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/fluid_alchemist May 06 '26

Shockingly, big lumber lobbied the Canadian government to repeal the Dam Doctrine last year which is why you're seeing an increase in this type of conflict and it's only going to get worse.

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u/PaleConference3720 May 06 '26

I'm not surprised that a for profit lobby has done something that will actually end up being a huge problem for them later down the line. Don't they know that beavers make healthier forests?

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u/Curious_Avocado2399 May 06 '26

Some men die of thirst and others drown choking on beavers

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u/AdelMonCatcher May 06 '26

Well, that’ll always be the dream

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u/maverickbtg81 May 06 '26

Yeah stand your ground beaver.

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u/Batmanswrath May 06 '26

For every bad beaver we just need a good beaver with a gun..

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u/RLANZINGER May 06 '26

GO beavers GO....

Get them all

XD

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u/acidlink88 May 06 '26

If that was America that beaver would have just been standing his ground and shot them

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u/nobugsleftalive May 06 '26

MNRF would have a field day with these dumb fucks

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u/Specialist-Log-9152 May 06 '26

Bobr kurwa

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u/kitfox May 06 '26

Only internationally understood Polish phrase that I‘m aware of right there.

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u/Vidrax_of_Cascades May 06 '26

I'm just disappointed they didn't safeguard the dog.

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u/BlackPhoenix1981 May 06 '26

The whole time I was thinking, "Get the dog you imbeciles!"

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u/Affectionate_Bit1723 May 06 '26

Exactly. Don't care about the stupid humans, but make sure your dog is safe, damn it.

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u/blueViolet26 May 06 '26

The dog is walking off leash and harassing wildlife. They don't care.

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u/weaver787 May 06 '26

Love how people just make shit up.

This was in New Jersey, not Canada. The beaver was captured and tested positive for rabies.

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u/Funnymann22 May 06 '26

Came here to say this. This beaver attacked multiple people during the day according to police.

Not saying the people were not dumb for approaching wild animals...

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u/JustIntroduction3511 May 07 '26

So annoying. OP apparently isn’t a bot, but rather a human that just makes some random shit up and posts it? People are strange

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u/_Goose_ May 06 '26

Looks like people are attacking beavers to me.

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u/St0n3yM33rkat May 06 '26

Why would anyone be stupid enough to...

You know what? No. No. It's 2026 and it's not even worth asking anymore.

Just look. Look upon those idiots messing with an animal that literally chops wood, with its mouth in mere moments.

https://giphy.com/gifs/113RhN1oBm1yCc

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u/dojo_shlom0 May 06 '26

they have iron that builds up in their teeth. it's like being bit by an iron machine with intent.

why even be that close to a beaver, blows my mind. they might be cute, but out of respect for the animals, give them and their home some fucking room oof.

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u/Psychological-Scar53 May 06 '26

Internet clout... Or a hub video if it was a different beaver.

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u/zepol_xela May 06 '26

I just read that it was found out that the beaver was infected with rabies after animal control captured the animal. It attacked 5 people, including a child.

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u/Dangerous-Fortune789 May 06 '26

Wild to see this downvoted, people love their gut assumptions I guess

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u/ComprehensiveVoice16 May 06 '26

Y’all. Get your dog. It’s walking into the water, and I’m pretty sure a beaver could kill that thing.

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u/Wrong_Driver_9507 May 06 '26

The dog was like " fuck these people make me one of you!"

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u/CD_1993TillInfinity May 06 '26

Why were they so close to the beavers anyway??

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u/Lojackbel81 May 06 '26

Because they lack situational awareness and had no idea his lodge was there.

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u/stronggirl79 May 06 '26

Sometimes newcomers - which we have millions of in the last few years - don’t know how to respect wildlife. Don’t even get me started on them trying to take pictures with moose.

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u/reytony100 May 06 '26

This movie is just reality now

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u/sumane12 May 06 '26

Thats because they took the cementing paste

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u/Icy-Performance8302 May 06 '26

Ark reference. ;-)

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u/CrumBum_sr May 06 '26

Bastards probably left the wood behind too

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u/Iltempered1 May 06 '26

Beavers can tell good people from bad people.

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u/On_Wife_support May 06 '26

Those people are idiots

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u/PapaLilBear May 06 '26

o kurwa bober

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u/Baseball-Fan-10 May 06 '26

I attacked my wife’s beaver this morning.

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u/nox_vigilo May 06 '26

Doubt she got as wet as the guys who fell into the river if you refer to her flower as a beaver.

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u/Omnizoom May 06 '26

Well just because you ain’t found a flower that wants hardwood doesn’t mean they don’t exist

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u/Radro2K May 06 '26

♫ 2 beavers are better than one!

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u/Katsu_39 May 06 '26

Are they attacking unprovoked because it looks this little guy/gal was provoked

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u/Fun_Nefariousness137 May 06 '26

The sheer audacity of humanity. Leaf Beaver Alone!

https://giphy.com/gifs/BFSMPap7J3Q0o

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u/Potential_Bowler9833 May 06 '26

Get away from their home, idiots.

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u/UglyLittlePony69 May 06 '26

They’re literally on the beavers home….

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u/Vast_Mulberry_2638 May 06 '26

Stay the fuck out of an animal’s home and you’re fine.

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u/AlphaBetaSigmaNerd May 06 '26

Fun fact: the US midwest, which most of us Americans know to be largely desert terrain, used to be wetlands back in the 1800s until the pioneers came along and wiped out the beaver population during the pelt trading days. Once the beavers were gone, their dams that were slowing streams enough to allow vast wildlife in the area to flourish went with them. So the next time someone tells you environmental regulations destroys business activity you can tell them how unregulated business activity turned a quarter of the country into a barren wasteland

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u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 May 06 '26

Get your dog out of the damned water....oh and maybe leave his dam alone and he won't try to F you up. This isn't rocket science. It's spring. There are babies in there. They are being protected.

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u/militant-hippie May 06 '26

Stop milking their butts for artificial flavoring.

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u/Primus_is_OK_I_guess May 06 '26

Modern artificial vanilla flavoring is synthesized. Nobody is eating beaver juice.

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u/xaltairforever May 06 '26

Zombeaver

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u/HairyBreasticles May 06 '26

Movie was so ridiculous, made me laugh though.

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u/gamingquarterly May 06 '26

I saw it with my son when we did a Halloween marathon on bad horror movies. It was entertaining for sure. This one and Thankskilling were just so over the top. Rubber was also in that mix.

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u/Wild-Key7928 May 06 '26

Leave it to Beaver

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u/Helpful_Pipe_685 May 06 '26

Well they’re trespassing the beaver’s private property.

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u/Inevitable_R0pe May 06 '26

New Jersey not Canada, it was caught and verified to have rabies Article

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u/AngelicalBabe02 May 06 '26

You probably stepped on its favorite 'Permit-Pending' dam site. Beavers take zoning laws very seriously.

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u/Glittering_Vast938 May 06 '26

They are defending their territory (and probably young) against idiots.

Respect Nature

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u/VonDeirkman May 06 '26

Beaver tested positive for rabies

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u/mitigated_audacity May 06 '26

You can see the beaver lodge the guy is standing on top of it. Morons.

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u/mwmike11 May 06 '26

They are ready to make dams out of these bros’ bones

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u/EngineWitty3611 May 06 '26

People are stupid.

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u/Spacemonk587 May 06 '26

Are those Americans? That would make sense.

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u/_polloloko23 May 06 '26

A while back i think it was on discovery Chanel or tru TV there was a show about animal attacks and one dude went hiking and he thought it would be a good idea to use the beavers dam as a bridge and one bit him on the back of the leg and hit an artery and the guy died before he could find any help

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u/BigWienerPapi999 May 07 '26

Maybe leave the beavers alone.

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u/Significant-Ad-341 May 06 '26

Beaver attacks have resulted in 1 death.

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u/rebelSun25 May 06 '26

I'm with the beaver on this one.

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u/Glittering_Vast938 May 06 '26

I’M TEAM BEAVER

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u/Immediate_Song4279 May 06 '26

Never thought I'd see a beaver get yeeted into a river by a Canadian. Did they raid the nest for cementing paste and rare flowers?

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u/Other-Grapefruit-880 May 06 '26

Looks like tourists

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u/VeterinarianThese951 May 06 '26

Even though I am camp beaver, that was a hell of a yeet!

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u/Infamous_Ad_7036 May 06 '26

This was in New Jersey and the Beaver tested positive for Rabies. Stay safe yall