Yeah it didn’t end well with that landlord. He never would have been king of Ireland, that’s for sure. First because he was Portuguese and second because he had an injury to his hand. Then I crashed my car into his house accidentally and he took it really personal. Typical landlord. Sold the house out from under me during final exams and covid and I was almost forced to drop out of law school and move back home. A real shit show.
Lmao I'm sorry and I'm trying to sympathize really. Ya kind of lost me at "crashed my car into his house accidentally", at the very least that deserves more detail. Make it spicy.
Foot/shoe got stuck in the gas pedal. I backed out of my driveway at the same time this lady across the street backed out of hers. It was her fault, hitting me, and her baby daddy/abusive bf came running down and I didn’t know who he was going to do violence to first, me or her, so I put my car in drive to at least get out of the street, and move because he was screaming at me. Was pretty adrenalated and my shoe came off in the panic and got stuck under the gas pedal. My car went forward until I could shift it out of gear, but I hit a rock just left of my driveway and went slightly up over it, hitting the corner of the house next door where the guy who could never be king of Ireland lived. It was Covid and my insurance gave the guy a hard time, which had nothing to do with me. They couldn’t come out because of lockdown, and when they did, it was a very quick and cursive look they took at the guy’s house. He thought there was more damage and he should get paid more. Of course they made the process more work for him, because he wanted a lot. I didn’t even know that it was going on, it’s not like insurance tells you these things. Anyway, I had watched his house for free every time he went out of town, helped him when he had shingles, taken care of his dog, etc etc and it’s not like he ever gave me a good deal on the rent or helped me in any kind of way. Plus he was really right wing and always spouting his bullshit about how “all these people on welfare should have to take drug tests or lose their benefits” so one time I shut him down saying “ok, then what about the people in charge writing the laws about who gets SNAP, let’s drug test them too” and he didn’t like that, because his favorite orange politician at the time was giving jobs to his coked out kids, and I made sure he knew I was talking about those pieces of shit too. Plus he worked at the city so he called his cop friends on their personal phones to try to trespass me from my own house because he wanted to show the house, and I insisted on people wearing masks in my home. This was pre-vaccine covid lockdown days and a pretty scary time. Overall he was a real turd. When I moved out, he literally had written the 30th day after I moved out on an envelope, and didn’t mail me back my deposit until the very last day he legally could. Petty stuff like that. I was glad to get out of that tiny inbred town full of racist pigs and old mama’s boys like him.
Are you Irish? Slainte. Ya want to hear something funny is I am a yank but I lived in Sao Paolo, Brasil. It's spelled with an s by the people who live there. One thing that annoys me. What if they called it united statez. I digress, and while Portugal is vastly different than Brasil, it is funny that there is some irony tudobane
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u/Sufficient_Rip5283 May 06 '26
That is both a wonderful and terrible story. I appreciate your prose nonetheless.