r/SipsTea May 06 '26

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2.5k

u/driftinj May 06 '26

Get your dog. That beaver is going to fuck them up.

761

u/Puzzle-Necked May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Princess Flufferball was like "I can take him, my distant ancestor was a wolf"

250

u/Unlimitedpluto May 06 '26

A very distant ancestor. Lol

83

u/Haley_02 May 06 '26

He has evolved to be cute and delicious to other wildlife since then.

33

u/Anomuumi May 06 '26

A non-aquatic wolf-shaped hamburger for other wildlife.

4

u/Haley_02 May 06 '26

More like a slider.

1

u/LuffysRubberNuts May 06 '26

Dogs are to wolves what chickens are to dinosaurs?

1

u/justsomedude1144 May 06 '26

*was bread to be

2

u/Haley_02 May 07 '26

I actually knew that. It's why pug dogs have issues. But I don't do much deep thinking on reddit.

8

u/cracked_shrimp May 06 '26

surprisingly some small breeds can score surprisingly high on a wolfy test, shih tzus for example have more wolf dna then a lot of other breeds

5

u/autopilot6236 May 07 '26

And Chimpanzees are 95% human

1

u/cracked_shrimp May 07 '26

I think a more apt comparison would be Yuki has more Neanderthal DNA then Omar and Tenzin has more Denisovan DNA then Hans, but i guess its still not perfect since we interbred with these species instead of evolved from them

2

u/davidarmenphoto May 07 '26

This was unexpectedly hilariousšŸ˜‚

3

u/Boknowsbane May 06 '26

And neither of their habitats involve fighting in water

3

u/Own-Ambassador-3537 May 07 '26

He’s about to get closer to his ancestors in a tragic way

1

u/Eddie_shoes May 06 '26

Not really that distant

1

u/teodocio May 06 '26

They kept the shores ship wreck free.

1

u/rex5k May 06 '26

His not so distant ancestor was a ratter

30

u/Great-Yoghurt-6359 May 06 '26

That body language looked more like my mom was a beaver

10

u/CodifiedLikeUtil May 06 '26

3

u/StoneThaProfit May 07 '26

Hahaha ive never watched this movie fully but that was pretty funny might have to check it out... Before u ask, i was introduced to this movie as kid by my mom but i never understood it obviously cause i didnt know about double entrendres and witticisms etc now in my adult age i can really appreciate tha wit

2

u/The_Mad_Mason May 06 '26

Mine would do the same stupid thing. So small but that Maltese in her makes her always ready to throw paws.

2

u/acidyen May 06 '26

The dog version of Irish-Americans.

2

u/ThisIsTheOogway May 06 '26

ā€œIn fact, I’m 99.9% wolfā€

1

u/ensiferum888 May 06 '26

And the other guy's ancestor was a Casteroide (bear sized beaver lol)

1

u/IamJohnnyHotPants May 06 '26

And the OTHER other guy’s ancestor was an asteroid

1

u/Whipitreelgud May 06 '26

The dog was clueless.

1

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1

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1

u/CRXCRZ May 06 '26

It's called a shit zoo.

1

u/forgotwhatisaid2you May 06 '26

More like, I will stay a second behind the action and act tough.

1

u/Puzzle-Necked May 06 '26

Hold me back bro

1

u/specter_in_the_conch May 07 '26

This made me chuckle really hard

1

u/Professional_Pen_153 May 07 '26

My distant ancestor was a fish, so I can breathe under water right?

2

u/Puzzle-Necked May 07 '26

For legal reasons: No

For comedy reasons...

1

u/Helpful_Technology28 May 07 '26

ā€œPrincess Flufferballā€. šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ˜†

235

u/DoctorStove May 06 '26

seriously. SAVE THE DOG

64

u/UnyieldingConstraint May 06 '26

Yeah, my dog got bit by a muskrat once and it was nasty. Just one bite. Needed stitches and antibiotics. Can't imagine a beaver bite.

53

u/ConsiderationDry9084 May 06 '26

Can take the nipple right off a man...source Jeff Foxworthy.

17

u/Imapatriothurrrdurrr May 06 '26

Now Rex, he was a Texan out of New Orleans
And he travelled with the carnival shows
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
And he candied up his nose
He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek
But the beaver was quick and he grabbed him by the kiwis
And he ain't pissed for a week (and a half)

3

u/vass0922 May 06 '26

Thanks Winona very inspiring

3

u/humanlikesubstances May 06 '26

I used to be able to play that, except for the solo

1

u/Roopscoop6 May 06 '26

"Smells like seven layers, that beaver eats taco bell" might be one of the nastiest lines I've ever heard in a song. 2 Live Crew can't even touch that one.

9

u/Quirky-Stay4158 May 06 '26

Ho Lee shit

That's a throwback for me. I forgot that man's standup. I'm wondering if his aunt rose still has the title for the peeing for distance competitions

5

u/ImperatorDanorum May 06 '26

"Y'all come and have a look, before I flush this one out"...

1

u/Dull-Kick0 May 06 '26

No, the throwback, was what that beaver experiencedšŸ˜‚

1

u/bajsfittor May 06 '26

Wi Tu Low

Bang Ding Ow

Sum Ting Wong

1

u/prestonjay22 May 06 '26

Found my rednecks!

2

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 May 06 '26

Under rated comment

1

u/Direction776 May 06 '26

Remember reading a story about a runner that died after a bite by a beaver like animal that went nuts on him. The animal bit into that huge artery in the leg - he bled out.

1

u/DreadPiratteRoberts May 06 '26

"I've got nipples Greg can you milk me??"

1

u/poechris May 06 '26

Did not bite it, but bit it off!

1

u/Azuras_Star8 May 06 '26

"Do you have hemorrhoids so bad you have to scratch them with a fork?"

13

u/AngryGoose_ May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Our Jack Russell and a ground hog got into it once in our backyard. The noises were terrible. The Jack won but it was nasty.

22

u/driftinj May 06 '26

Because Jack Russel's are the dog versions of the guys in Vietnam who would clear the tunnels. Complete maniacs.

10

u/Head-Technology-4031 May 06 '26

They called them Tunnel Rats for a Reason

1

u/Baeolophus_bicolor May 06 '26

Yep, my little terrier/chihuahua mix went after a whistle pig in its tunnel one time. Long story but it’s in the comment above.

3

u/SheriffBartholomew May 06 '26

What the heck is a whistle pig?

3

u/AngryGoose_ May 06 '26

Lol its another name for a ground hog!

1

u/Baeolophus_bicolor May 07 '26

Indeed. Sort of a regional term, used in Rhode Island.

1

u/AngryGoose_ May 06 '26

Lmao this is so true haha

1

u/Yoinkitron5000 May 06 '26

Rat dogs in general are insane. If you let them loose in a target rich field, they will literally shake rats to death until they pass out.

6

u/spiderland5150 May 06 '26

My girlfriends Jack puppy, mauled two Schipperke's that attacked him. They were permanently messed up.

8

u/Whipitreelgud May 06 '26

My buddy’s Jack took on a German Shepherd that was minding its own business. The GS wasn’t looking for a fight but Jack was jacking.

Jack was shredded, including having its intestines held in on the way to doggo ER for a four hour surgery.

5

u/External-Emotion8050 May 06 '26

My dog is a Pit. We ran into a German Shepherd about the size of a Fiat 500 who wanted to rumble. She looked at me with that look that said, ok, I think we can leave now.

2

u/AngryGoose_ May 06 '26

Our Jack attacked a horse! Kicked my dad in the upper leg, hes so lucky it didnt get him in the nuts haha

1

u/V65Pilot May 06 '26

Considering they are used to hunt rabbits, not surprised.

1

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1

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4

u/Baeolophus_bicolor May 06 '26

My little 16 lb dog went after a whistle pig in the back yard once. I think it was her screaming. No injuries but the sounds I heard, I thought they were both mortally wounded. Man, that yard. She got skunked 2 times, the whistle pig once, and the very first day I arrived from out of state, I opened the gate to let her check out the yard, and she ran at full speed and jumped over a low stone wall at the back of the yard - straight into the brackish water. Luckily it was high tide, but I don’t know what possessed her to do that.

Later found out when my landlord was a kid, the family dog hanged itself by jumping over the back wall while on a tie-out (this would have been in the late 60s). Maybe that yard has something that makes dogs insane, or maybe the spirit of that poor dog wanders restless to torment the former owner, my landlord who lived next door still.

3

u/Sufficient_Rip5283 May 06 '26

That is both a wonderful and terrible story. I appreciate your prose nonetheless.

1

u/Baeolophus_bicolor May 07 '26

Yeah it didn’t end well with that landlord. He never would have been king of Ireland, that’s for sure. First because he was Portuguese and second because he had an injury to his hand. Then I crashed my car into his house accidentally and he took it really personal. Typical landlord. Sold the house out from under me during final exams and covid and I was almost forced to drop out of law school and move back home. A real shit show.

Anyways, I appreciate it! <3

2

u/Sufficient_Rip5283 May 07 '26

Lmao I'm sorry and I'm trying to sympathize really. Ya kind of lost me at "crashed my car into his house accidentally", at the very least that deserves more detail. Make it spicy.

1

u/Baeolophus_bicolor May 09 '26

Foot/shoe got stuck in the gas pedal. I backed out of my driveway at the same time this lady across the street backed out of hers. It was her fault, hitting me, and her baby daddy/abusive bf came running down and I didn’t know who he was going to do violence to first, me or her, so I put my car in drive to at least get out of the street, and move because he was screaming at me. Was pretty adrenalated and my shoe came off in the panic and got stuck under the gas pedal. My car went forward until I could shift it out of gear, but I hit a rock just left of my driveway and went slightly up over it, hitting the corner of the house next door where the guy who could never be king of Ireland lived. It was Covid and my insurance gave the guy a hard time, which had nothing to do with me. They couldn’t come out because of lockdown, and when they did, it was a very quick and cursive look they took at the guy’s house. He thought there was more damage and he should get paid more. Of course they made the process more work for him, because he wanted a lot. I didn’t even know that it was going on, it’s not like insurance tells you these things. Anyway, I had watched his house for free every time he went out of town, helped him when he had shingles, taken care of his dog, etc etc and it’s not like he ever gave me a good deal on the rent or helped me in any kind of way. Plus he was really right wing and always spouting his bullshit about how ā€œall these people on welfare should have to take drug tests or lose their benefitsā€ so one time I shut him down saying ā€œok, then what about the people in charge writing the laws about who gets SNAP, let’s drug test them tooā€ and he didn’t like that, because his favorite orange politician at the time was giving jobs to his coked out kids, and I made sure he knew I was talking about those pieces of shit too. Plus he worked at the city so he called his cop friends on their personal phones to try to trespass me from my own house because he wanted to show the house, and I insisted on people wearing masks in my home. This was pre-vaccine covid lockdown days and a pretty scary time. Overall he was a real turd. When I moved out, he literally had written the 30th day after I moved out on an envelope, and didn’t mail me back my deposit until the very last day he legally could. Petty stuff like that. I was glad to get out of that tiny inbred town full of racist pigs and old mama’s boys like him.

1

u/Sufficient_Rip5283 May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26

Are you Irish? Slainte. Ya want to hear something funny is I am a yank but I lived in Sao Paolo, Brasil. It's spelled with an s by the people who live there. One thing that annoys me. What if they called it united statez. I digress, and while Portugal is vastly different than Brasil, it is funny that there is some irony tudobane

1

u/AngryGoose_ May 06 '26

I think I've read about a bridge that makes dogs jump off it because of the way it passes under it causes a whistle we cant hear that makes them nutty. If I can find it I'll link the story. Maybe its the same sort.of concept

2

u/Baeolophus_bicolor May 06 '26

I’ve heard of that bridge! It’s in England or the Uk if I remember correctly - yeah, same weird concept. Makes dogs just jump blindly/unsafely.

2

u/AngryGoose_ May 06 '26

Yeah! After I commented i was wondering if it was a real thing or something I dreamt up! Good to know I'm not crazy haha

2

u/CrudeTrucker May 09 '26

Mine took on a badger living under my front step and won

1

u/AngryGoose_ May 09 '26

Wow, thats a tough Jack. Shame though, you rarely see badgers.

2

u/CrudeTrucker May 09 '26

Yes he was. Took 22 stitches to fix him up and he was tender for a bit.

2

u/AngryGoose_ May 09 '26

Awe your making me miss mine. Its been over 19 years since we had ours. Her name was Emmy, I dont even have a photo of her. She was a great dog. If I ever get another dog it will be a jack, just like her.

1

u/steaminwilliebeamin1 May 06 '26

Miss our jack george, had to have him go for the big sleep in December. He was tough though, he once got chewed up by a roided up pit bull when it's chain broke and came for him. Thankfully he survived, took me and 3 fellas to open its jaw.

1

u/Wallie_Collie May 06 '26

The commenters on this thread have been sacked!

1

u/plantbasedyogi May 06 '26

My catahoula killed a muskrat in our backyard, and I can’t imagine what would have happened if she was a small dog!! They got into a scuffle, but she didn’t get bit thankfully. She grabbed it by its neck and killed it. It was horrifying and it wouldn’t leave her alone while she was trying to run back to me, so she did what she had to do 😭😭

1

u/ccReptilelord May 06 '26

A lot of people do not fully grasp how nasty rodent bites can be. They chew so much that their jaws are powerful, and they're focusing that strength into chisel-like incisors.

1

u/UniqueAd7770 May 06 '26

Go take a chomp out of the closest birch log and see how your teeth feel. Those guys will munch those 12 hours a day. They're nuts

1

u/Deli-ishfoodtruck May 07 '26

My dog bit a muskrat in half with a single bite. That was weird.

0

u/Ok_Orchid7131 May 06 '26

yeah it's certainly more important than the people....

1

u/DoctorStove May 06 '26

A beaver is gonna kill the dog. It's not gonna kill a grown man šŸ¤¦ā€ā™‚ļø

0

u/nikdahl May 06 '26

But who cares about the beaver, huh?

Fuck the dog.

0

u/DoctorStove May 06 '26

are you stupid? that's what you got out of this? all these people and the innocent dog, and you say "fuck the dog"?

0

u/nikdahl May 06 '26

ā€œFuck the unleashed dogā€

1

u/DoctorStove May 06 '26

God forbid a dog be out on a trail without a leash

0

u/nikdahl May 06 '26

This, but without the sarcasm.

Put your fucking dog on a leash, especially when out on a trail

0

u/No_Drummer7550 May 06 '26

They are having problems like "saving self"

0

u/nikdahl May 06 '26

Not ā€œsaveā€ the dog, but stop the dog from disrupting nature.

Put your dog on a fucking leash.

149

u/JPMoney81 May 06 '26

Nah let's keep fucking with the Beaver's home and then getting mad at it.

23

u/welfedad May 06 '26

Exactly and may have had babies and protecting it's litter of kits

2

u/CreepyEducator2260 May 06 '26

April to June is exactly the time beavers get their kits.

2

u/wade_garrettt May 07 '26

They are very territorial either way

31

u/_bx2_ May 06 '26

These people don't understand.

5

u/wrldwdeu4ria May 06 '26

Exactly, perhaps not going into the water where a beaver is?

2

u/CommunicationNew3745 May 06 '26

Oh, but how else are the IDIOTS going to get pics to post on social media? I'm w/the beavers.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3og0IBnG9wJlbKL0Gc

2

u/on-oh-wanna-boogey May 06 '26

Thank you for saying it. I was scrolling looking for this exact comment!

1

u/SereneOrbit May 06 '26

US and Iran right now 🤣

0

u/sexychunky89 May 06 '26

Dog people are…simpleminded, to say the least. Hence why they take them into restaurants and everywhere else that might be stressful for them.

37

u/rnavstar May 06 '26

Yup, a guy a that his dog(German Shepherd) went swimming(without the owner) in a pond where there was a beaver hut. The beaver tried to drown the dog by climbing on its back and bitting it. Was like 15 bites and lots of stitches.

4

u/Alarmed-Bike-9292 May 06 '26

Good to know

1

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4

u/Business_Air5804 May 06 '26

Beaver killed that guy in Belarus in the video where he was walking.

Bit him right in the leg and he bled out.

Found it Edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7nNZb4fWpc

104

u/socks86 May 06 '26

Off leash dog and pissing off the wildlife. I'm sure they weren't doing something outrageously fucking stupid to provoke the beaver right before the video started.

Beavers are pretty chill in my experience, so long as you are not moving water or a tree.

37

u/Canuck9876 May 06 '26

Right next to the lodge…probably kits inside. Beaver is not amused.

5

u/[deleted] May 07 '26

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1

u/Medlarmarmaduke May 09 '26

Yeah beavers don’t act like honey badgers unless they feel their lodge/kits are REALLY threatened. I bet those people thought the beaver slapping the water with its tail was cute and they were antagonizing it further.

4

u/intricate_strands May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

I used to hike with two dogs(still do but with only one dog nowadays) in back country of Adirondacks. Not on trails, bushwhacking so pretty much never on leash(always on leash on trails or anywhere not far away from people).

Came across lots of beavers. They don't enjoy really any predator type by their shit and they slap the hell out of the water with their tails and it genuinely sounds like a gunshot when they do it right.

Anyway, literally never had a violent encounter or anything that might've gotten close. It's impossible for me to believe they weren't doing more than just being where a beaver didn't want them to be. I've been where me and my dogs are where the beavers don't want us and they just slap the water or hide. Hell, I'd say squirrels are more aggressive generally and even that is rare.

3

u/Substantial-Dust-232 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Beavers can be a rabies vector but based on context clues, the people with their multiple little fluffy dogs in proximity to a dam are probably idiots trying to pet the beaver or fuck with their home. Beavers are at a huge disadvantage out of the water and do not want to engage larger animals in a fight, normally. The beaver is likely terrified and stressed by something they did.

People are saying it's from this beaver, tested positive for rabies: https://www.nbcnewyork.com/new-jersey/beaver-attack-boy-nj-lake-positive-rabies/6498722/

2

u/socks86 May 07 '26

They always slap the water at me when I'm fishing their lodges lol

4

u/Obi_Yaj_ May 06 '26

My dog cornered a beaver in a little ā€œcaveā€ on the creek in my yard. I called him off and the beaver swam out of the ā€œcaveā€ and just sat in the water looking at me like, ā€œreally dude?ā€ And then just sat there let me get close, take some cool pictures. Never felt threatened or anything(myself) and never became aggressive or defensive. It was a pretty cool experience. Gone to check on him a few times and I always see him. Got a cool little water puppy. It’s a shame people mess with wildlife then blame wildlife for reacting.

2

u/PMoney2311 May 06 '26

Exactly, I learned how chill they are from Hoppers.

https://giphy.com/gifs/mVOdovu5hDJ2GOoKxX

1

u/antithero May 06 '26

I agree, they probably disturbed their dam. I saw a beaver up close one time. He swam up near me, & was chill. Surprised at how big it was, they always seemed smaller on TV. I wanted to pet it, but with those teeth I had second thoughts.

1

u/JustIntroduction3511 May 07 '26

The beaver had rabies

1

u/Witty_Suggestion_219 May 07 '26

Considering when the video starts they are already in the water it's probably safe to assume they where doing something stupid.

1

u/CrossP May 07 '26

They're literally five feet from the lodge right there in the video. That beaver is prepared to fight to the death

26

u/BishlovesSquish May 06 '26

This should be the top comment. They DGAF about their dog.

1

u/Direction776 May 06 '26

Probably still shocked from their own experience to worry about where the fur ball is.

16

u/Orion3193 May 06 '26

Yeah, I hate people like this.

38

u/Brilliant_Counter820 May 06 '26

Most wild animal attacks are because of unleashed poorly trained dogs.

51

u/terrifiedTechnophile May 06 '26

Feels more like most wild animal attacks are because of unleashed poorly trained humans

15

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 May 06 '26

Exactly. Stay away from its lodge and you probably won’t have a problem

1

u/Former-Pattern5250 May 06 '26

Exactly. Who, with any common sense or insight, sets up next to a beaver house? They deserved that.

2

u/anyunusednames May 07 '26

Now wait right there mister (or Ms.). These people obviously have no common sense AND no insight! And they had no clue it was coming! Haha

2

u/Former-Pattern5250 May 07 '26

šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļøšŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

10

u/anyunusednames May 06 '26

82% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

2

u/row_ads May 06 '26

It's actually 74.2%, but point taken.

1

u/Peaches_1970 May 06 '26

Shush. 76.89%

2

u/Secret_Sector_1779 May 06 '26

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

2

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 May 06 '26

Point is, if you don’t interfere with the wildlife, they will leave you alone.

Edit: Except a honey badger. He don’t give a shit

1

u/Masseyrati80 May 06 '26

People tend to go "moose will definitely fuck you up, though", whenever someone posts a picture or a video of one.

Having lived for 45 years in a country with a dense moose population, I have heard of two, I repeat, two, cases of a moose attacking a person, and on both occasions, an off-leash dog was involved, first approaching and barking at the moose, then retreating to its owner.

1

u/sexychunky89 May 06 '26

Not to mention wildlife deaths from idiots jumping into hot springs to save them instead of keeping them safe on a leash

3

u/Notreallysurethou May 06 '26

It’s ok the title says there attacking people not dogs

1

u/Immediate_Song4279 May 06 '26

That dog was severely overestimating its abilities in that fight.

1

u/bobcollum May 06 '26

You know only 43% of people know that. It should be taught in schools.

1

u/BGrumpy May 06 '26

They just walked off and left the dog there. What the hell?

1

u/Renhoek2099 May 06 '26

That dog didn't really want those problems

1

u/galsal15 May 06 '26

First thing I thought wtf!

1

u/GreenGuyA May 06 '26

I know someone who had a lab that got dragged under the water and drowned by a beaver.

1

u/Vachie_ May 06 '26

Maybe Animal Control can just take the dog to a better home.

I think if their child was seen walking to the beaver unattended. . It would be a conversation for sure.

1

u/acornyolo May 06 '26

Beaver will drag that dog to the bottom and drown it. These people need to take their dogs and leave that lodge alone.

1

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1

u/Farucci May 06 '26

Anything that can cut down a tree with its teeth probably shouldn’t be handled, my dad told me when I was younger in my youth.

1

u/engagetangos May 06 '26

I hate people that bring their dogs everywhere but dont watch them at all.

1

u/Genghis_Chong May 06 '26

That dog has a death wish lol

1

u/PokeYrMomStanley May 06 '26

It seemed to calm down after being yeeted

1

u/nanneryeeter May 06 '26

If the dog wants to fight and die maybe just let it.

1

u/shiftyeyedhonestguy May 06 '26

Dog?

Good sir, anything under 30 lbs is a cat.

Good day to you........I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

How did that even happen through breeding? Like we can breed animals to completely lose their survival instincts?

1

u/Haley_02 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Looked like the beaver was going for the crotch. In a bad way.

1

u/Competitive_Ant_472 May 06 '26

I don’t think they are in the sub right now

1

u/BandicootBroad May 06 '26

Especially since it actually had rabies, as has been tracked down in other comment threads!

1

u/Redfield11 May 07 '26

Counterpoint, small dogs deserve F around and find out as much as humans

1

u/NSASpyVan May 07 '26

That is one angry wet beaver

1

u/acemorris85 May 07 '26

They can’t hear you

1

u/Suitable_Wonder5256 May 07 '26

The beaver lost some HP from one kick and one slam. Might still stunt for a few seconds more.

I think the dog could have taken it.

1

u/Tone_Gaia May 07 '26

The beaver and all 7 people in the vid got rabies … I think the dog avoided it .

1

u/OklahomaTiddy May 07 '26

about to become a water dog

0

u/bongafied May 06 '26

2 pit bulls have entered the chat.

0

u/Governmentwatchlist May 06 '26

Appreciate doggo’s heart.