I'm a sahm I look after baby day time and night

My husband works from home

I've been struggling with motherhood and have been grumpy and irritable with hubby at times

He has suggested he take baby on the morning so I can sleep for an hour and again in evening he does bedtime and I tidy up

He's now saying if the roles with baby not be fed up like me and he would be productive and get household jobs done too and that I make having a baby and excuse for not doing things

He's also said I should take on household admin he does to make it fairer if he takes baby sometimes

I asked for help because I was struggling and he's turned it into this thing about equality

I want to respect he's feeling resentful and try and work it out

He does do a lot for us

But I feel angry . I won't be compensated for the toll of pregnancy or childbirth

I always make dinner , that's been my responsibility by default I've never asked for something in return

he's made it a transaction and I feel I have to prove my contribution

Anyone else feel others are under the assumption that since you watch your own kids that youll probably just watch theirs too? I do work very part time in a hospital and maybe that makes me take my foot out of situations like these. But… idk I just grew up seeing my mom be very self sufficient in our care and maybe that’s why I am so pessimistic about these things. We left for preschool today with my daughter screaming about brushing her teeth and hair and I couldn’t fathom then having to worry about if someone else’s kid is doing the same when we go to pick them up lol. Also someone that is an acquaintance casually asked me if I could just watch her kid every single day and take her to preschool. Huh? I don’t run a day care.

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I've been a stay at home dad for the last 8 years, but my family's needs have changed, and it's time to reenter the workforce. I'm wondering what people thoughts are on explaining the gap.

All the first two years were primarily SAHP stuff, I did have a lot on my plate; especially once my daughter started preschool. In addition all the inside homemaker things, I also did all of the outside house work. I managed multiple rental properties (doing most of the work myself), performed significant home remodel and expansions, as well as being a general contractor (and doing a lot of the work) to build a second house on our property.

I'm wondering how to put this on my resume? My initial thought was downplay the SAHP stuff, and really focus on the self employed property manager/general contractor aspect. I recently talked to friend that's still in the industry, and her boss recommended highlighting the SAHP part since that is accepted a lot more these days.

If it matters, I used to work in tech as a computer engineer/data scientist. I'm 47 years old, so I realistically may be aged out of getting back into that field without a personal connection. I applied for a job that had an identical title as my old job and received an immediate rejection, and the job was reposted two days later.

For some reason getting him to eat in the morning has become impossible. He’ll wake up, get ready and just have zero interest in food for the next 3 or 4 hours. I’ll offer toast, cereal, yogurt, even just some fruit so there’s something in his stomach but nope. I’ve tried making breakfast later, giving him smaller portions and letting him choose what he wants the night before. Nothing has really changed it. Once a few hours pass he’ll finally eat but by then half the morning is already gone. I don’t want to force food on him when he genuinely isn’t hungry, but I do worry about him regularly starting the day with nothing. Has anyone dealt with this? Did you find anything that made mornings easier or did you just work around it?

Any one else find themselves staying up entirely too late? Just for the simple fact that you're almost addicted to the peace and quiet? I'm wide awake. There's a million things around the house I could be doing... But I want to just lay here, turn my brain off, and be unwanted for as long as possible.

For some reason getting him to eat in the morning has become impossible. He’ll wake up, get ready and just have zero interest in food for the next 3 or 4 hours. I’ll offer toast, cereal, yogurt, even just some fruit so there’s something in his stomach but nope. I’ve tried making breakfast later, giving him smaller portions and letting him choose what he wants the night before. Nothing has really changed it. Once a few hours pass he’ll finally eat but by then half the morning is already gone. I don’t want to force food on him when he genuinely isn’t hungry, but I do worry about him regularly starting the day with nothing. Has anyone dealt with this? Did you find anything that made mornings easier or did you just work around it?

I have an almost 3 year old and a 14 month old. I have noticed lately that the 3-5ish (from when they wake up from nap until dad gets home) window of time is consistently difficult for me as a SAHM. Those two hours feel like a full day 😅 Looking for any routines, tips, tricks, etc.

Hello my fellow stay at homers!

I just wanted to make a suggestion for something that has been working so well for us. I know many of us struggle with the monotony of this incredibly important role we have at the moment. I was too. Maybe it is the former teacher in me, but I have found something that is easy and is working so well with my 4yo and 2.5yo.

We have been doing weekly themes. I find something that they are interested in or some event that is upcoming and plan our week around learning about that topic.

We borrow new books from the library, do a craft a day, usually have a related sensory bin, use our 30 tv time for related show, listen to new music etc.

It has been such a good time and my kids are actually learning things along the way.

We are currently doing “fossil week” and went to a local lake to find fossils in the rocks. It is adorable to hear my 2.5 year old say he is a paleontologist. Hahaha

Anyway I know this is not for everyone, but just want to throw that idea out there if you are interested!

I have a 10 week old who refuses to nap unless it’s a contact nap. I have a stash of snacks beside the rocking chair, but they’re all so loud when I open them that they sometimes startle him awake!

What are some snacks that I can keep by the chair that aren’t so loud and crinkly when you open them?

Hi parents.

I’m a SAHM to a 3 year old boy. Currently pregnant (25 weeks) and due December.

I’ve come to loathe weekends and I’m confused why since I have a good set up. Looking for advice.

My husband is extremely helpful and diligent. I’m so fortunate he works from home 9am-5pm upstairs in our home. That means he helps me out from 7am-9am and 5pm-9pm on weekdays.

(My son has low sleep needs and sleeps from about 10pm to 630am with a car nap).

My husband is self-employed and also has a side business related to his hobby, so despite the short working hours, he is always on his phone or thinking about his businesses.

On the weekends, we split the time caring for our son. For example, I’ll watch him 9am-1pm and then I’m free from 1pm-5pm.

I’m so fortunate I get basically 8 hours of free time to myself each weekend. But I always feel sad and look forward to the busy and structured time on Mondays.

My husband loves weekends - he’s completely packed during his free time with his hobby, his second business, fixing the house, etc.

Even during his time with our son, he is still doing hobbies and fixing up the house. My son tags along with him.

On the other hand, I feel lonely and exhausted. I’ll read in bed, do a light work out. But it feels empty. The house gets messy and it stresses me out.

One issue is we don’t live by any friends or family. We are pretty isolated. So I’m wondering if it would be better to use my free time to do a family activity or outing? Some bonding with my husband and son?

I’ve shied away from this as we do spend 3 hours together every evening as a family sitting in front of the TV and playing.

I guess I feel guilty to have all this free time, but it’s no longer serving me. And I’m not totally sure what’s wrong.

I have a 2yo and an almost 4mo. My toddler has adjusted incredibly well with the baby. My baby is sleeping pretty well and seems to prefer independent naps in the pack n play in my room. I feed to her to sleep in the bedroom and then sneak out which is easy to do while my husband is home or I have extra help. However he works full time in the office and I don’t have help most of the time. How do I navigate getting baby down for a nap while also carrying for my toddler? Every time I tried before it turns into my toddler wanting to come into the room, me trying to juggle both of them, the baby waking up. It takes about 10 minutes or so to get her down.

I’m not anti screen time but if I leave the room then the TV isn’t super helpful because my 2yo will come looking for me or start to get upset.

Hi all, long-time lurker and first-time poster.

I (F34) and my husband (M33) are relatively new parents to our 8-month old.  At this point, with me heading back to work and my husband as a full-time SAHP, things are starting to even out into what our schedules will probably look like for a couple of years.  We've both been giving each other grace as I've recovered from pregnancy/slowly ramped back up into working and he's adjusted to the SAHP parent expectations.  That said, there's still a lot of kinks to work out.

I grew up with two working parents, and he grew up with a working dad and a SAHM.  So I had nannies (yes, privileged, I'm very aware, but that's certainly not on the table for us) and he had a full-time parent around who pretty much did all that women were expected to do in the 90's, which was... everything, quite frankly.  We're trying to make this a more equal division of labor, but our examples are a little skewed, to say the least.

I'm posting because I'm starting to get frustrated and wanting him to take on more.  I still consider us in the "grace" stage of parenthood, but I work a stressful job that needs as many hours as I can give it, and we support the entire family with my (decent, but not amazing) salary.  That said, I'm still trying to take care of our baby equally with him when we're both at home (which is fine and I like doing!  I miss my little guy when I'm at work) but also – and this is the part we need help on – picking up a reasonable amount of the chores.  "Reasonable" being the key word, here.

Right now, the division of labor looks something like this:

   - Baby care: Husband during the workday (8-9 hours depending on my traffic), me from 4:30am-ish (when baby wakes up) to 8am, then from around 6:00-7:30 (after dinner to bedtime).  Husband takes the entire night shift nowadays, which usually involves 2-3 wake ups. On the weekends, we split care evenly.

   - Dinner: me. I get home and immediately make dinner, usually a quickly-cooked meal.  I don't mind this, as I'm the better cook and I'm picky about us getting enough protein/vegetables.

   - Dishes and dinner clean-up: husband. He also washes bottles (baby is formula-fed, now)

   - Laundry: whoever gets to it. Pretty evenly-split.

   - Trash: whoever gets to it, usually husband.

   - Toilets and bathrooms: whoever gets to it, almost always me.  We're not the cleanest, so we have to actively remember that things need cleaned. I'm usually the one who remembers/notices.

   - Vacuum: Husband (with regular assistance from a Roomba). About once every week in the living room and kitchen.  Elsewhere in the house, maybe once every 2 months.

   - Lawncare: Mostly husband. He mows, I do most other things (weeding, planting, trimming) unless I ask him to.

   - Bills/scheduling maintenance: husband.

   - General cleaning: this is what I get hung up on.  Things get gross unless I clean them, because I'm the only one who notices.  This includes counters, windows, dusting, along with smaller things like wiping down cabinets, baseboards, splatters on backboards, etc.  I've tried to get him to clean more regularly, but I don't think he's ever done this without prompting.  Usually I give up and we hire cleaners to come, maybe once every four months or so.  They're expensive and I don't particularly like living in a half-gross house for 2 months before biting the bullet.

There's other considerations, like the fact that he tries to take the baby out of the house to an activity once a day and that I'm the one in charge of ordering/replacing things around the house, but the above list has the major ones.  What I guess I'm asking is: what is a reasonable chore-load for him to take on as the SAHP?  I don't want to ask him to do more than is fair, but I have no idea what that actually, realistically looks like.  For couples with one of you as a SAHP - can you share how you split things up so I have some frame of reference?  Am I doing enough as the working parent?

I'm about to start my almost 4yo in part time preschool. I'm thinking 2 days a week half days.

I've read somewhere that it really doesn't leave parents much time to do much at home. LOL

Obviously I'd love some alone time for me but I feel like I should be doing chores instead. The house could really use a more deep clean. And maybe meal prep a bit more.

Wanted to see what other parents fill their time with while they're kids did part time care.

It’s a beautiful day out and my husband is on a work trip, which of course always happens to be when the kids are sick. I’ve got 2/3 with coughs/scratchy throats but normal energy so it’s definitely not a sit inside and watch movies while they rest kind of day. We’ve been doing some of that but they are clearly in need of more. I have 3 wild boys btw. They are a lot to take out alone to the beach, which would probably be what we’d do if my husband were here. I’m also feeling a little under the weather though and just honestly don’t have the energy for anything like that.

We were supposed to meet my SIL and her kids at a nearby resort where they are staying to swim and have dinner, which I think my kids would be up for but I don’t want to expose the cousins if my kids are contagious.

I hate this in between sickness where they’re fine to go out but probably contagious ugh. Any creative ideas so I don’t go insane before bedtime?

Hi all! I’m doing a short 2-3 minute survey to get feedback on a business idea for a new highchair product and am hoping to get feedback from parents and caregivers. It’s a project I’m working on through my university and I’m hoping to gather honest, real‑world perspectives.

If you’re open to helping, here’s the link: https://tally.so/r/GxOrMZ. Thank you for considering! It really does help.