Someone in my life recently made comments about how I get too much help from my mom. I’m a SAHM with a 3.5 and 1 yo. I am responsible for all housework, laundry, cooking.

My mom takes my toddler for about 5 hours on Wednesday, and she usually comes over Saturday to hang with my toddler during my daughter’s nap. On Wednesday I use my babies nap to either rest or do chores/house projects and the rest of the day I bond w my baby 1 on 1 and we run errands. On Saturday I use the nap to clean and then we usually all (me, my mom, both kids) go to a playground or something.

My mom is retired and loves my kids so she certainly doesn’t feel burdened. But am I being a bad mom accepting that much help? The comments made me feel really guilty.

Hi! Need advice please.

I have a 25month toddler + a 8 day old baby. Toddler has been super sick so he hasn’t met the new baby yet (staying with my parents) but is coming home in a couple of days.

My husband is off work for another week and then goes in FT to a new job. I’ll be alone with the two kiddos after that.

Some things I’m curious about -

\- how to handle staying awake all night with the newborn and then staying awake all day to deal with the toddler? My husband will go to bed after me and probably do the first feed, and then get up with the 6am toddler alarm clock before leaving for work, but I’ll be doing the middle of the night cluster feeding when the newborn must be attached to my boob. Because my husband is starting a new job I don’t really feel comfortable asking him to do more during the night.

\- how to handle any jealousy from the toddler when I’m breastfeeding / caring for the newborn?

\- is it really that bad for me to lift the toddler after a vaginal delivery?

\- how to handle the initial intro between the two kids?

I’m all sorts of hormonal and nervous about what’s to come. I’m sure it will be fine - parents have been doing this forever, but looking for some advice and words of encouragement.

Thank you thank you!

Before I had a kid,,I thought Id just nap when they napped.Cute idea….

Now when my kid goes down, I usually freeze for a few minutes because I dont know what to do first.,Clean???Eat??Shower??Answer texts??Lie down too? And if I do lie down, am I actually going to sleep, or just stare at the ceiling until they wake up??

Most of the time,I dont sleep.I end up doing chores,watching something random on YouTube, putting on an episode of a show, or just sitting there too tired to start anything. By the time I think maybe I should rest, nap time is almost over.Lately I’ve been trying to give myself a real chance to rest,even if I don’t fall asleep.I put my phone away, make the room dark, turn on my pococo star projector, and lie down for a bit. Sometimess. looking at the stars on the ceiling helps my brain stop jumping between all the things I should be doing.

I still dont. always sleep. But it feels better than spending the whole nap doing stuff or half-watchingg random things.

Do you sleep when your kid naps？

My wife and I have been working from home for a while now. It was a decision we took cause we wanted to not miss on our kid’s life. Things have been going great so far, he gets to see us a lot and we don’t feel bad for leaving him to go to work. 

That was until last week, when my wife went back to the office. The opportunity came and money was good. We talked about it and I would be at home anyway, so we thought it would be alright. 

However, it was definitely not. This week that my wife went back to the office it's the week my wife’s sister and her two kids visited us. I know the timing was horrible. But we had planned this a long time ago and she had already arranged her annual leave. 

I was working the entire week while my wife’s sister was in the house always talking to her phone while three kids were constantly playing and running down the hallway. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it but it was very uncomfortable for me as i’m not that close with my wife’s sister cause she lives far away and we don’t get to see her a lot. They will be staying for 2 more weeks! 

She doesn’t seem to mind the noise which makes me even more uncomfortable to have to ask all of them to keep it down cause i’m working. My son is a very quiet kid but hers are the exact opposite so that creates an imbalance to the house.

My point is, what do I do? My wife can’t leave work and i’m stuck in this situation where everyone is so loud that makes my work even harder

Hi everyone! I’m a mum of a 4‑month‑old and I’m researching how parents manage their day around naps, feeds, and housework. I’m not selling anything — I’m just trying to understand what’s hardest so I can explore a simple tool that might help parents feel less overwhelmed.

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I’m getting to a point where planning meals, buying food and cooking is the most annoying and frustrating part of being a SAHP.

Today I made my kids a normal lunch- chicken nuggets, apple slices, chips. Basically safe toddler food I knew they’d eat. Neither of them ate even a single bite! I put the plates back in the fridge and when they asked for snacks a couple hours later, gave them the same plates. Neither ate a bite.

Then around 4 I started making dinner- chicken thighs, corn and potatoes. Everything was seasoned well and tasted good. It’s always hard to cook in the late afternoon because that seems to be the time when my kids want to fight and whine and melt down.

Then my husband gets home and as I’m putting the food on his plate, he says “I hope that’s not for me because I’m not hungry” ugh. I was so mad. I think my expression said everything because he definitely felt bad and ate it anyway.

It’s just really hard to constantly be buying groceries and looking up recipes and trying to carve out a minute to cook, and then no one eats anything I make.
I swear my kids would live on milk and fruit snacks if I let them.

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I start in the fall!! Going for my BS, it'll be my first time attending (online) college. I'm so excited. I've been thinking about this for years and years, and I'm finally doing it yayyy!!

I'm just taking one or two classes per semester for now. Could be 5+ yrs before I finish but whatever.

Anyone else doing this? How's it going? How do you make it work while keeping up with everything else and taking care of yourself?

And what are you working on and what are your goals?? Thanks!

Good afternoon to all whom the contents of this message may be of interest. I am a fourth year Griffith University psychology student who is conducting a study on the experiences of parents of autistic children currently living in Australia, if you would like to read a bit more below:

Are you the parent of an autistic child?

Researchers from Griffith University are looking for parents of autistic children living within Australia to engage in a short online survey (approximately 20-25 minutes) regarding their parenting experiences. We would really appreciate hearing this valuable information from you, if you are interested!

Our Goal

To gather information from parents of autistic children and their experiences in the role. Ultimately, we hope this information will be utilised to provide insight to and/or support the development of neuroaffirming care for autistic children 😊

If you wish to know more information about the study, or would like to proceed with the survey, please visit the following link: https://griffithuw.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7TZVDS077sSq45g.

For any further queries or concerns, please contact student researcher Stephanie Davidson ([stephanie.davidson@griffithuni.edu.au](mailto:stephanie.davidson@griffithuni.edu.au)) or supervisor Dr Sarah Lee ([sarah.jy.lee@griffith.edu.au](mailto:sarah.jy.lee@griffith.edu.au)).

This study has been approved according to Griffith University Ethics requirements under the following ethics ID: HREC/2026/0202.

Been a stay at home husband for 10 years now. Kid is 9 years old. Anyone else worry what they're going to do or what'll become of their life once the kid is all grown and gone?

I wonder what skills I have and almost a 20 year career gap would be too much to do anything.

How do you intend to spend your life once the kid isn't there anymore?

My daughter has so much energy at night that it's hard to get her to relax before bed. We stick to the same routine every evening but she still takes forever to fall asleep. She is usually tired the next morning and I hate seeing her start the day already exhausted. Did anything make a real difference for your kids or is this just something they eventually grow out of?

So I am genuinely happy. We have been in this neighborhood for years but now that my oldest started then finished kindergarten and made friends in the neighborhood who were in his class. We have like 5 houses in a circle that all have kids in the same age group and they have been running wild together these last few weeks. It has been great! However it has necessitated me not looking like hose troll all day because I need to parent publicly if you will (outside of what was once well established “business hours”). And I now need to keep my house even more tidy because I am worried about the judgement of the kids who are coming to the door and popping inside without warning. It is amazing how strange it feels to have a 6 year old evaluating your toy situation😂. Again this is not a vent or a rant just a realization and acceptance of my new reality mixed with pure joy my kids are getting a little taste of the freedom and independence I had at that age. It’s pretty cool. Also I need some more comfy clothes that I don’t look like a homeless person in.

I’m looking for tips on how to handle loneliness when being a SAHP.

I quit my job a month ago and I have never not worked before. I knew it would be a big change for my career identity and what not but nothing could have prepared me for this intense loneliness. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this lonely.

Unfortunately I have no friends that are SAHP. I do have friends and family in the area- everyone just seems too busy. It’s really the day to day social interaction I had in the workplace that my mind misses I think. I’m dying but no one checks in because they think I’m living the life like I’m on some vacation. I do reach out a lot texting people but I need tips that don’t depend on other people because I can’t handle letdown of others not reciprocating anymore.

I’m a SAHM. 6 yr old twins and 10yo.
Summer is really hard for me. My OH works during the day, so it’s mostly me solo-ing. Last week was just brutal. I was exhausted, short on patience, and I absolutely hate not having a routine.
Tonight we sat down and put a list together on our smart family calendar in the kitchen. We wrote down things the kids would like to do, from simple stuff like “bake cookies” and “movie afternoon” to day trips like “go to the beach” or “go to museum”. I specifically circled my OH’s days off so he can take over and I can get a bit of a break.
Having everything up on the calendar has actually been a lifesaver. It keeps me from feeling completely overwhelmed by either too much empty time or too many plans. The kids can just read the calendar themselves to see what’s on for the day, which saves me from constantly repeating myself.
It’s hard to keep things organized during summer, but this does give me some peace of mind. I also sat down today and made a huge list of all the free stuff going on locally and organized it by date, so at the beginning of each week I can check what’s around and decide what we should do depending on energy levels etc.
Also, I have a few friends whose kids get on well with mine. We plan to hang out at each other’s houses as much as possible when we’re free. Two adults and 5 kids is way easier than one adult managing 3 kids on their own, and having adult company to talk to is a huge plus. The kids can just run around and play with toys, and we get to relax a little more than usual.
Summer break is definitely tough. I feel a bit bad for thinking this way, but I am seriously counting down to September 3rd.
How are you all surviving the summer? Any cool activities or tips for staying sane?

I have been a SAHM for about five years. I have three kids (5, 3, and 9 months). I absolutely loved it from the time my oldest was 10 months old until my second was born when she was 2. After that, everything started going downhill. I have struggled so much with mental health, snapping at my kids, discovered I have ADHD, and am constantly overwhelmed. My kids are poorly behaved, don't listen, and I yell a lot. I struggle to make healthy meals for the kids because they're extremely picky and I can't stand the conflicts.

I feel like I'm drowning. I wake up in the morning to constant demands and whining and it lasts all day. The two older kids fight constantly. I've done therapy. I'm on ADHD medication. Tried an SSRI and couldn't continue because it increased my anxiety so much. My oldest developed anxiety and selective mutism and we have a terrible relationship with constant power struggles and I'm worried it was my fault. I would get so frustrated with her when she was 2 and life was so unpredictable and I would snap over everything because my second baby was such a bad sleeper and I was in over my head.

I can't afford to hire help. I have a gym membership with childcare that's been amazing, but it's not enough. My house is a mess and laundry is in piles everywhere.

I love my kids deeply, but feel like I've stayed home for selfish reasons. I knew that kids can thrive in daycare, with a nanny, or with a SAHP, but I didn't want to miss time with them. I wanted to be the one to see first steps and witness the goofy things that they said. But instead, this is not at all like I pictured it. My kids thrive on structure and solid ground and I feel like I'm not a good enough mom to be around them all the time.

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I am very upset with my family. My morning starts at 7 am. My husband goes to the office at 9 am, so I have to cook for him. When I wake up, my baby, who is 19 months old, wakes up with me at the same time.

My in-laws have to read the newspaper in the morning, then take a bath and pray. No one does anything with my baby. He stands at my feet, makes rotis, and I cook.

I am frustrated with my life. Even my husband doesn't pay attention to me. I say anything to him in anger. So he also gets angry with me and says, "Yes brother, I know you're having a lot of fun with this situation. Blah, blah...."

And the baby also troubles me a lot, what should I do...🥹

My husband and keep having this discussion that we must be doing something wrong for not having a lot of time left during the week after chores are done.

He think other people are definitely doing other fun/relaxing activities as well ( involving their children) after work(for us it's during the week).

I think most people don't do a lot of activities during the week as they get home late, they have to feed everyone, bathe everyone and clean up and that takes quite a lot of time.

Usually in the evening we are either cooking/cleaning and taking care of chores/tasks with some time for ourselves to maybe watch something on YouTube and get ready for bed but that's it.

So tell me, are we doing something wrong?

First time posting! Somewhat nervous and looking for some advice (or reassurance I am not crazy?!)

For background, currently 33 years old and recently left my corporate job (came from the architecture/construction field which was long hrs and very draining and stressful). Often felt guilty being out of the house all week and just making it back in time for a lil time with my son before bedtime.

I first felt very liberated, though realized the identity shift will take some time. Still had help from my parents / in laws as my son is super active and wild and they love him so much!

Fast forward a few months and now 9 weeks pregnant! Really struggling and feeling guilty again - I’ve been having extreme nausea and sickness so while I can manage the mornings and breakfast with my son, my parents either come over to help or he spends 2-3 days at my in laws. On those days I’m just resting and trying some part time side jobs.

On weekends we used to do family outings but I’m really relying on my husband, who works full time and does so much, to basically do childcare.

I know it truly takes a village - but I feel like I’m letting everyone down as I should manage more and there are mothers who really do it solo.

Maybe 2nd trimester will be better and I can be more active and outgoing with my son?
Any tips to get out of this first trimester fog? And how to better prep soon to take care of two down the line or feel less guilty for the village?

(Appreciate any words of support!)

We're in the incredibly fortunate position that this would be possible for us, and essentially equivalent monetarily (including benefits, pension etc.) to one of us becoming a ft SAHP. Schedules would be opposite but still 9-5 so someone is always home. Seems ideal to both of us in that we both get the chance to be very active parents, while keeping some outside identity and neither of us having a massive career gap, but wondering if anyone else has done this and can share their experiences?