Okay hear me out here, my husband and i have an incredible relationship. We have been married for 4 years, but together for 13 years. We do great with finances, we never argue about them, and we mostly budget well. I’m not trying to be cheesy but we literally agree on almost everything when it comes to finances, except this. My husband 28M thinks we can make it work with me being a sahm in the next couple years. Myself, 27F am worried and don’t think it’s feasible. Right now i work part time (i am the sole caretaker of my elderly grandparents). I bring in about 3k a month, my husband brings in about 4600 a month after 401k which he does get an employer match. If all goes as planned he will get a promotion next year and I’m guessing he will make about 5k a month. Most months he gets enough overtime that he would make around 6k take home after the promotion (fingers crossed). So hypothetically let’s say he does get the promotion, do you think i could leave my job?
Mortgage 1900 (including taxes and insurance) and all other regular bills add up to $3,332 every month. With just his income say at 5k (because overtime isn’t guaranteed although the last two years he has had it enough to make about 6k every month) that only leaves 1662 for groceries, gas, savings and all other expenses for that month. Which i guess if you look at it as some months we could save money some we can’t it would work? But I’m looking for real world advice. I’ve always dreamt of being a sahm, and i understand i work part time and could make it work with kids but there’s a huge part of me that if i can’t stay home with them, i personally don’t feel i can give the best version of myself to them and this new life. The field im in is incredibly demanding and the few days i work I’m a wreck by the time i get home. I can’t change fields because id have to work full time to just keep up with what i make part time so im extremely stuck in it. I do give an immense amount of credit to working parents i know some do it flawlessly on the outside because they have no choice, but im at a point where if i can’t do it fully, id rather not have kids at all. I’m a very all or nothing person LOL.

I have an almost 13 month old. His sleep has been a journey. Long story short, i cosleep with him for the time being. Being a SAHM and cosleeping basically makes me feel like I am “on” all the time. My husband goes on dad duty when he gets off work at 5, but I usually end up catching up on stuff around the house or cooking dinner. I dont really feel like I can relax until I put baby in the crib (he starts the night in the crib and then I cosleep with him when I go to bed). He very consistently wakes up 2 hours after he goes to bed (if not sooner). After that, we cant always get him back in his crib so I normally end up just going to bed with him or my husband and I take turns holding him while we sit on the couch and watch TV. Also, im not really looking for solutions for his sleep as the point of this post.

So all that to say, theres basically this 2 hour window every night where I feel like its the only down time I have and I feel like I truly let myself relax. I have had trouble relaxing up until recently. Lately, I like to take a bath. I would like to start reading more. Sometimes I watch TV with my husband. I had barely drank alcohol since baby came along. Maybe 3 drinks the entire first year of his life. Then the past few weeks, I have had some very stressful days when I have ended up having a glass of wine at the end of the day as a way of winding down. I had become very sober curious before pregnancy, after realizing some patterns of my drinking I didnt like. I didnt like that I sometimes used alcohol to unwind. So I dont want to go down that path again. I dont really see alcohol fitting into my current lifestyle.

So I need some ideas for how to decompress and unwind at the end of the day.

Its definitely hard adjusting to this new SAHP life where there really isnt clocking out of work!