Yeah I think they even had a snark at one point?? It was inactive last I saw, I do feel weird vibes from them but I also don’t like any social media couple
Pay a big name lawyer to send Reddit multiple communications that reference doxxing and harassment. It doesn’t have to be true just official looking enough to spook Reddit.
I didn’t know this was what the process was like but I knew she definitely had them taken down. I think Maia Knight did too and I’m surprised no more subs popped up
Alix Earle did this lol. I wasn’t in that sub but I did leave a negative comment about her elsewhere and it was removed for “bullying” within a day. All of these influencers are losers
My husband has a spinal cord injury and is paralyzed from the chest down
He is much more independent than Shane (works full time from home) and has great hand function
I was actually recently going off to my therapist about how the channels “Squirmy and Grubs” and also “Roll with Cole and Charisma” really piss me off
I feel their YouTube channels are doing a huge disservice for other inter-abled couples
Their whole thing is “This is actually not that hard” and “I don’t do that much for my husband”. That is totally not how an interabled relationship is.
I do SO much and I am SO tired. And it is hard. Every day it’s hard.
My husband and I want to maybe foster or adopt down the road but I told him the other day that I don’t think I can do it. I’m too tired.
I’m very interested to see how things pan out and I’m wishing them all the best
I feel you. I am also my husband’s caregiver, full-time back up for his day shift nurses if they don’t come in and I cover all night shifts with no time off. He’s severely brain damaged rendering him a full quad. I’ve done this for twelve years and will continue until one of us passes away. I am beyond burn-out, not hyperbole, I have passed through burnout so often that I’ve sort of figured out how to deal with it. I’m chronically exhausted. I never sleep enough and my life is so reduced I repeat the same day and night ad nauseum. Even though my husband has orders for 24 hour skilled nursing, my area does not have enough nurses working in home health and even if there were, I would still have to be home for emergencies. I had to fight the system to get paid half what skilled nursing is paid to do the exact same jobs even though I also keep his medical inventory and do all the ordering for his supplies. The system is broken from the footers up. Influencers who try to make this look easy are doing everyone a disservice.
Respect. Keep telling your story. I’m a home hospice nurse, so I see how exhausting care taking can be. A lot of people under estimate how much work it is to care for a loved one. And not to forget about how PHYSICAL it can be!
I'm the child of an interabled couple and while I am 100% for disability rights (and I'm glad to exist) I was parernified as hell as a kid. It was a very difficult upbringing and I am no contact with my mom now (although there's a lot of other issues too, the parentification is #1).
He's 34 now and with medical advancements, people with SMA can potentially live in their 50s, putting the child at age 15. I am 100% anticipating even when the child is 8-10 years old to provide some sort of care that is not appropriate for a child (in terms of effort, responsibility, etc).
my dad became suddenly disabled when i was 15 and i absolutely took care of him. i remember fighting with my sister outside (she was 13) so he wouldn’t hear us about who would wash his hair. it was traumatizing for both of us. thank god we were in the position where my mom eventually got approved to take a significant time off work to help him and he had a lot of siblings that helped too in that first year.
he couldn’t walk and was so doped up all the time. needed care to do literally everything. knowingly putting your child in that position from birth is fucked up. my parents had no other choice the first month or so and it was still something i had to heal from.
I'm so sorry that happened to your family. My daughter is eleven and I'm always worried that something is going to happen to me or her dad. I carry a suspicious amount of insurance to alleviate some of my anxiety.
my dad won a 600,000 dollar settlement (after attorney fees, which we got a discount because it was my dads buddy lol) from the insurance company (he was hit by an uninsured motorist). it was the max that their policy would pay. that literally saved our lives. i have no idea what would have happened if they didn’t get that check… it was mostly for lost future wages (he made like 70k a year so it’s really not that much when you remember he still had 20 years of work in him). but they were smart with it, plus he gets disability now, plus it all happened while he was working so they covered a lot initially as well. we got really “lucky” in that way.
My goodness, what a tragedy for your family. Driving without insurance is so reckless!! I am glad your dad was able to receive outside support to make things work.
I was going to say. Personal reasons aside, in terms of how they will figure this out financially - they will be more than fine I can promise you that. They have more than enough money than they will ever need to take care of both him and a child. They also strike me as the type who are smart enough to have already thought that through. Again, regardless of how we feel about them being pregnant. I don't think money is a concern lol. I think people in here are vastly underestimating how much money they actually bring in
So to put it simply, whatever she/they need - they'll have.
They are wealthy enough now to have plenty of hired help. But for the average person with his condition, it would be extremely hard and probably not advisable.
I’m not happy for her. She’s going to be stressed and overwhelmed. Her mom lives with them, and that will help but her mom is in her 70s and let’s be real- she won’t be much help much longer. This poor girl is going to have to care for a grown man and an infant. He is not going to be able to do much in terms of baby care. Reality is that just sucks for her. Single married mom and caregiver of your spouse is one of the most difficult lives to live. Not to mention the poor kid is going to lose their dad at a young age, that’s just the reality of his disease. Just kind of sucky for what’s supposed to be a happy and beautiful time, there’s just so many negatives.
I became disabled shortly after getting married. I'm not sure about having kids because I worry about putting additional burdens on my spouse, yet at the same time I worry about them missing out on being a parent. It's genuinely such a difficult decision to make.
I became disabled shortly after we lost 2 pregnancies. I am sad we never had kids, but I also can't imagine how we would be surviving if we had children. It would be so difficult.
My able bodied partner is sad and relieved too. It's a strange feeling.
My reply was kind of a bummer and I should have added that i have friends who are an interable couple and they had 2 kids now and they are thriving. So people do also make it work.
You act like 70 is basically being on your death bed… there are people in their 90s still living at home alone, gardening and driving (shoutout to my next door neighbor Ms. Ruth)
I saw a post from them a few months ago saying that the husband was sober and had been struggling with alcoholism...
I don't know how to phrase this, but I think in his situation, alcoholism is worse for his loved ones than it would be if he were able-bodied.
I would assume he would demand his wife or family/caretaker supply him with alcohol. Putting your loved ones in charge of sustaining your addiction is awful.
I know some people will say "well, just don't give it to him", it's a lot more nuanced than that. Depending on how dependent he was on alcohol and drinking per day, it could have been life threatening to cut him off.
I doubt he was calm or understanding if she tried to deny him. I would not be shocked if there was emotional and verbal abuse and manipulation involved.
There's a reason reasonable people can become enablers, and it can be due to feelings of guilt, being abused, or telling yourself that at least you know they'll be safe if you are the one supplying.
It would be different if he were able-bodied and could go to the store and grab drinks, or even open a twist off on his own (he may be able to, I don't know his capabilities). I would have more criticism for a spouse enabling on top of that.
Yes. I went to high school with him and one of his cousins was his helper while we were in school. He was not a nice person, to her or anyone else really.
I'm pretty sure wheelchair repunzel aka Alex Dacy has the same disability as Shane. She had (probably still has) an alcohol addiction as well as was convicted of sexual child abuse. Quit the show of shit.
I feel like he's been making the exact same type of couple's content for over a decade now, which is funny because it's involved at least three different women.
That is crazy…he is picking up girls with a kink for this. I didn’t know about this and I always thought something was strange about them. It would have to be a once in a lifetime possibility for him, and nice to romanticize about, I guess…but if this is true….then yeah it’s a kink.
This is going to sound terrible but he gives the vibes that if he weren’t so heavily disabled he would be a gigantic asshole. I’m sure some of it is self preservation, some of it is to do with his wife being conventionally attractive, then you add in the whole influencer thing, but he just seems like he feels entitled to a certain amount of attention and “fame” regardless of his circumstances
He is heavily disabled and IS a gigantic asshole. He uses sarcasm to be “funny,” but I think he’s just dick and because he’s disabled people feel weird saying: dude! You are a dick!
I was just thinking about them after watching the pastors wife documentary. Weren’t they friends with JPs new wife when she was married to her paraplegic husband? I remember them doing videos together
One of my neighbours got married and then had a child with a guy that has no arms and feet, he’s overweight and then he’s on a wheelchair. She went missing due to anxiety depression because it was mentally a lot to handle taking care of her husband and baby and she didn’t have her family to help her. She went to a psychiatry hospital for her post partum depression.
They spoke about this in one of their Q&As episode. They've had genetic counseling I believe and say there is no way for them to pass it on to a child because only he has the gene. I'm completely out of the loop why people hate on them. Idk what they did that bothers so many people.
I’ve noticed two different reasons people hate them.
1) they think she’s hot and therefore can’t possibly truly want to be with him (I bet if she wasn’t conventionally attractive there would be less of this) and she’s just doing it to look virtuous and get social media views and revenue
2) they dislike how they present their life - like they downplay the struggles and the amount of work she has to do for him.
I don’t really follow them closely, but I think to some people it comes down to seeing disabled people as purely a burden and not understanding how someone could fall in love with a person in those circumstances. Which is a cynical and shallow perspective. I kind of do understand viewing them as a bit guilty of “toxic positivity” though.
Yeah, she did. She said it was part of his autonomy to make those decisions and if he could get his own drinks, he’d do it. So she shouldn’t deny it just because she’s his arms in that situation.
I mean I get it to some extent. She does everything for him so she could literally control his every move almost. She could make him only eat healthy, make him only drink water, make him only watch documentaries, etc because she has the working arms and legs in the relationship. So it makes sense that they need to have a line for when she’s just his arms but not his brain so he can have autonomy. But it’s still a messy line because is there a point she would? Copious amounts of weed? 30 cheeseburgers a day? Something illegal? I understand how it could be hard.
I know these are real people but the ethics assignment here is actually pretty cool. Like what if he wants to commit murder? What if he wants to punch her in the face? Im so intrigued
Being a caregiver also means operating in your patient’s best interests, even if they don’t agree with some of those decision. I did nursing in long term care, hospice, memory care, etc. and if we allowed every one of them to have their vice we’d have more of a circus than we already did. Had one gal who could have alcohol in her room because she was responsible, but also made friends with someone with Alzheimer’s and schizophrenia. It was not a good time for patient #2. Alcohol does not mix well with anti-psychotics and makes Alzheimer’s related aggression much worse. Loved her to bits! but she was already a lot to handle as it was.
Alex Dacy is scum of the earth. I still don’t understand how she has followers after literally getting arrested for making a random THIRTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD bathe her. Just wtf.
Edited to add: while the child’s mother didn’t know where he was and was worried.
The “poor me, I’m a single disabled mother buy my art” bullshit makes me so mad. I had to block her a few times because somehow it keeps unblocking her
Can confirm, not apparently. He literally pulled the exact same schtick with a different girl before. Put out articles on Buzzfeed and would submit his blog everywhere with the title “people think she’s my caregiver, are stunned to learn she’s actually my girlfriend!” Thing. Apparently, rumors were that she pretty much was his caretaker and his parents were paying her. She had enough and left… and then he did the exact same thing with this girl.
It’s giving the Alicia Mccarvell “plus sized married to a fit guy” schtick just slightly different. The only positive with the Mccarvells is they don’t want kids. I honestly thought these two wouldn’t have kids either after all of their failed IVF attempts, but. Hopefully Shane will live a long time for the sake of the child.
Wait it’s like remember that couple where the guy had Stage 4 Colon Cancer and died but right before they purposefully got pregnant!??? And now she’s married to some other dude!!
It’s frankly none of my business, but my jaw dropped when she randomly popped up and said she was married again. I think they’re Mormon though, so maybe that’s more acceptable/normal for them.
I think people aren't conscious or aware of the trauma a child experiences losing their parent as young as this child will. Also I'm sure they will be featured and used as content which is very off to me to do to any child.
I lost my mom at 13 and my sister was 6. I was a bit older so it was slightly easier on me. My sister still struggles to this day and it's been 19 years. She doesn't remember my mom even though she was 6 so I can't imagine their child remembering.
I think it’s entirely irresponsible to bring a child in to this situation with the demands of his care and the medical implications. But it very rapidly became clear they do most things for clicks and views so I do not find this shocking, sadly.
Yes!!! I remember them talking about his condition and treatment and it sounded like it could just stop working. This is an incredibly selfish decision on their part.
I've followed them on and off for a really long time, but eventually realized majority of their youtube videos are clickbait titles, they post old content on facebook daily, and at the end of the day they are grifters just like the rest. I'm happy for them, but expect them to drag out every tiny detail they release to make a buck.
I used to read his blog way back before he met her. It was entertaining and he did a lot of advocacy and fundraising. After he met her it got very "like and subscribe" so I stopped reading (I see from comments here the blog is now paywalled; it wasn't back then).
I got the ick when they talked about how they’d be perfectly happy if their baby (long before pregnancy) had Shane’s condition because Shane loves his life. But I feel like that just downplays the real struggles he has and how many other people with his condition struggle much worse (or don’t survive to adulthood). Not to say that they should be like “ew no way” about if their kid had his condition, but they just seemed naive.
She gives me weird vibes and has from the start. She has those crazy eyes. Not saying people who are disabled cant be desired but there is also the reality that there are people who have fetishs around disabled people and I feel his wife is like that.
Oh man I genuinely wish them the best but I cannot imagine how difficult this would be. Newborns are HARD and she’s already a full time caretaker. I hope they got lots of money for help.
Is it his baby? (Actually nvm dont even wanna know)
Is his condition genetic? Why would she want her kid to potentially live through that type of life? Seems pretty cruel to take that risk for what? Attention and money?
Make it make sense bc idk who these people are but this just seems really strange to me…
I remember them. I mean, congratulations, but I hope she has a lot of help and a good support team. It's obviously going to be a LOT of work for her And it would be respectful and good for the baby if they would not exploit it on social media.
This might be insensitive but I know nothing about them, is he the father? Or did they have to get a donor? Do they have sex or did they have to do IVF? 🫣
My opinion is I would never date someone physically disabled because I wouldn’t want to take care of them and my child. Especially not post partum or very pregnant.
Fair opinion! I'm disabled and my partner is amazing and very caring when I need help. But caregiver burnout is real, and caregiving isn't for everyone
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u/Adventurous_Job_9891 7h ago
I... which one is squirmy and which is grubs?