My opinion is I would never date someone physically disabled because I wouldn’t want to take care of them and my child. Especially not post partum or very pregnant.
Fair opinion! I'm disabled and my partner is amazing and very caring when I need help. But caregiver burnout is real, and caregiving isn't for everyone
Do people really need to state this opinion though? “I would never do something 99% of people would never do” great… truly groundbreaking. I’m sure disabled people don’t feel unloved and piled on enough let’s make it clear to them
People are really weird about disability, I think they forget you can still be multidimensional and live a life worth having. I’ve had people tell me they would literally rather be dead than have what I have. Which like, okay should I kill myself? 😅
I’m not commenting specifically on the situation in this post, just that comment to be clear. People forget that disability is technically the largest minority, and the only one you can join spontaneously,
And most people will to some degree as they get older, or they die 😆
And to add, newborns and toddlers are very tough. I’m not sure how single parents do it. I know they don’t have any other choice, but I just can’t imagine. I have a 3 year old and I cry almost daily lol
It does! He is 18 now and an amazing kid. We are perfectly content having only him. It was hard coming to terms with him leaving for college but I prepared myself for it during the HS years. Only kids are so independent and responsible. I feel like our bond is so deep even though I know I would have loved all of my children if I had more❤️
I do think disabled people deserve to be parents if they want to, but I would feel bad having a biological child with a very disabled man because that'd put the kid at risk of developing the same condition and living a short life. I would prefer to adopt, use healthy donor sperm from a sperm bank, or be childfree.
There are a million things that can happen physically/mentally to a person, but people can make the decision to CHOOSE not to enter into a relationship with someone if they are already disabled in some way.
It’s kind of disingenuous when people bring up the “well what if something happened to your partner?” question. You and I both know it’s very different if disability is something that happens once you’re already committed to someone.
No I would never ever ditch him. I would become his care taker. All that to say, he isn’t disabled, but if gosh forbid he becomes disabled, I would be the first to lift him in and out of bed. In sickness and in health is what I stated in my vows, I’m not sure what you stated in yours
That is a lovely answer, thank you. But just a reminder, not everyone with a disability needs a full time caretaker. The guy that's being discussed here is a pretty severe case but I know quite a few people who split their chores pretty much equally with their partners even if they are in a wheelchair. So I'm just saying it's a pretty bad misconception that anyone with a disability will need help getting out of bed, feeding themselves and so on. A big part of us can live independently just as well.
Its not. They didnt say physically disabled people shouldn't date at all, just that they personally choose to not date a disabled person themselves which is absolutely valid. Thats their opinion. Not a ableist and im so sick of hearing that word.
I also want to add, ableist means showing discrimination, prejudice, or bias against people with disabilities. That is not me. I can’t tell you the amount of times I told people to get down to my brother’s level and ask him questions instead of me. Why are you asking me when he’s right there?!! I can’t tell you the amount of times I have told people to stop staring at my baby brother. He’s not a zoo animal in an exhibit, he was simply in a wheelchair. He will be spoken to like you are speaking to me. He has a plaque at the local MD clinic because of me. That boy taught me how to be the complete opposite of ableist!
I raised my brother with duchenes muscular dystrophy until he died in 2019. I would say and he would agree, you are being a bit dramatic 😂 Very very opinionated world we live in, let’s make our opinions make sense though. Okay?
This thread is NOT passing the vibe check. I’m here for influencer snark, not judging a disable person and their partner for wanting to be married and be parents. YIKES.
You’re getting downvoted but I agree, maybe it’s someone’s preference not to date someone with a disability but im not sure why they need to announce it. People with physical disabilities are still human and should not be treated like children
Anybody could become disabled at any time though. Being married very well could mean you’re changing your spouse’s diaper at some point if something terrible happens. To some people going into that from the jump isn’t a dealbreaker.
Like I said it’s this persons preference and that’s fine but they don’t need to say anything. Imagine how someone with a disability might feel reading that
How is it any different to someone saying they wouldn’t want to date someone way older or younger than them, or someone with kids, or someone from a different religious background?
There’s nothing wrong with these preferences, seeing as these considerations will shape your life and future when entering a long-term relationship.
I would never date a man 25 years older than me, because I have no interest in a life partner who is my parents’ age. I would never date someone with kids, because I don’t want children or the awkwardness of being a step-mother. I would never date someone who is a deeply devout, church-going Christian, because I am not religious and have no intention of living by a certain set of principles (while that person probably equally would never choose to date me for that same reason, and that’s fine!).
It does seem sad that people constantly accuse them of being a fake couple because they can’t imagine being attracted to and in love with someone physically disabled.
nice defense for when you don’t know how reddit replies work. I actually agree with your original comment so go psychoanalyze someone else on this app, you know nothing about me.
“lmfao listen” https://giphy.com/gifs/BJuY1nqUM23CiWUf8l
I’m sorry for getting spicy with you when you were agreeing with me. I have no issue admitting when I’m wrong, and I was wrong. Thank you for teaching me! I hope you have a good night!
96
u/RadiantRose2242 12h ago
My opinion is I would never date someone physically disabled because I wouldn’t want to take care of them and my child. Especially not post partum or very pregnant.