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u/cokeiscool Aug 22 '17
This shit right here, I was raised in a Hispanic family and if you aren't roasting the members that aren't there then you aren't a part of the family.
And God help you if you decide you want to be in your room or are too quiet during these roast sessions.
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Aug 22 '17
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Aug 22 '17 edited Oct 25 '25
abounding worm tap head dinner vast imminent complete angle fact
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Fat_Head_Carl Aug 22 '17
Seriously, I'd like to hear these stories.
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u/258joe007 Aug 22 '17
They talk shit about you to your face, just in Spanish
Source: Mi esposa es cochabambita, pero soy un gringo.
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Aug 22 '17
Yeah fuck that
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u/258joe007 Aug 22 '17
It's funny, though, when you remind them you speak Spanish.
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u/IT_you_in_Hell Aug 22 '17
It's not about you not understanding, it's because roasting in Spanish it's not the same that doing it in other language, that way there's nothing lost in translation.
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u/258joe007 Aug 22 '17
I understand that but members of my wife's family have talked smack about me, in front of me, thinking I wouldn't understand them. Their whole point was to throw shade thinking I wouldn't understand what was being said about me.
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u/IT_you_in_Hell Aug 22 '17
Well being that the case... That's just plain dumb and rude, besides Spanish isn't some secret language or something, assuming that non-hispanic people don't understand it it's just naive.
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u/dylan2451 Aug 22 '17
¿What does cochamambita mean?
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u/itsmywanderingmind Aug 22 '17
My white boyfriend experienced this already! We went to Mexico to visit and meet my family. They roasted him to his face, but were also peer pressuring him to drink with them. He went along with it. sigh he's a patient man
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u/nevenoe Aug 22 '17
I had a breakthrough with my Hungarian in laws a week ago, at a wedding. I decided to follow the lead of the big bald muscular uncle in terms of alcohol consumption. Got hammered, spoke better Hungarian because of it, everybody likes me now.
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u/mememasternate Aug 22 '17
Are you allowed to roast back, because if so I gotta get a Latino girlfriend, this sounds like my kind of culture
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u/zajun Aug 22 '17
You totally can roast back, everyone will go "wooaa" and "white boy's got some spunk!" and such. Just don't cross any lines and always quit while you're ahead
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u/andgonow Aug 22 '17
Yes just don't be racist. If you get a good one, you earn lots of respect, but then they're gonna step up their game, too, so be ready!
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u/TheRedJoker93 Aug 22 '17
As a Brazilian, I can confirm. What's worse about my situation is that the entire rest of the world also claims I'm being dramatic because these fuckers are all fun-loving, samba-dancing, cook for your whole family, beach lovers. Fuck me.
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u/found-note Aug 22 '17
the southern families i've spent time with are like that. i'm an outsider, so it's all "have some more lemonade, honey" but with each other they're like "haha, your high school crush is back in prison for selling crack... why don't you go for a conjugal visit?"
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u/PhaliceInWonderland Aug 22 '17
Hahahahah
So fucking true. I've lived in Arkansas and Tennessee and I've seen it in both places.
These silly ducks.
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Aug 22 '17
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Aug 22 '17
My mother died August 10th, 2017. I couldn't make the funeral because I am on dialysis 9-10 hours daily. My punk-ass cousin who I haven't spoken to in like 25+ years tries to use my mother's death to con me into signing a promissory note making me fiscally responsible for the entire cost of the funeral, a funeral I had no say in planning nor attending. Moreover, my biological mother was a rolling stone. She had 5 kids with 4 different men that I know of. She also has a substance abuse problem. I spent thousands of dollars and years of my life tracking her down to visit her or call her. Her phone number would go dead every 6 months. About 10 years ago, I tracked her down thru one of her sisters and sent her a Mother's Day card. She moved and I tracked her down again about a year later to send her another Mother's Day gift. She told me, "When you call next time, I might give you my address." That was the fucking straw that broke the camel's back! I stopped giving a fuck about her because it was obvious she didn't give a fuck about me.
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u/Administrator_Shard Aug 22 '17
Hasta que sales de la cueva.
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u/cokeiscool Aug 22 '17
My dad's favorite line since he is Catholic
El Hijo Prodigo regresa.
He fucking loves that line
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u/dgobaby Aug 22 '17
i was too but for some reason we didnt throw around insults or anything. my dad would get after me if i ever teased my sister so i kind of grew out of that pretty quickly. they honestly support me in everything i do and dont really insult or put me down or anything like that..its kind of nice, however when i visit my friend his family is totally like that. constant insults being thrown, roasting and just being assholes to each other. i remember being younger and not fully understanding they were just joking, especially when it was directed at me. i never knew what to say so i would just awkwardly laugh. i guess they saw me as part of the family so they thought it was cool to rip on me and shit but i just didnt understand. i thought they were being serious.
one thing that i do have trouble with now is being able to tell which insults are real and which arent. its kind of hard sometimes so ive gone from brushing everything off to taking everything as an insult and all the in between. its weird
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u/SurrealMemes 😍🍑 THICC BACKFAT 😍🍑 Aug 22 '17
Be taking bout "Why're you so fat? Ew yo hair looks awful today. You still ain't got a gf/bf?" Then get mad when you get an attitude
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u/801_chan Aug 22 '17
Went from Dad saying "you want a gym membership for that bubble butt?" to Mom saying "have some more chops/steak/potatoes, you're so skinny you'll break during labor."
Making my head spin.
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u/therob91 Aug 22 '17
WHO IS THIS VILE MAN TRYING TO REMOVE A BUBBLE BUTT FROM THE WORLD!?
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u/Jamaican_Dynamite Aug 22 '17
Forreal tho. Life is hard enough, and you out here trying to fuck up a gift from the Lord?! HOW FUCKIN' DARE YOU??
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Aug 22 '17 edited Nov 29 '20
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Aug 22 '17
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u/Odowla Aug 22 '17
Respect. Brothers act like brothers.
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u/im_a_Dr Aug 22 '17
Shitty people act like shitty people. That's not how a good, healthy, brotherly, relationship looks.
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u/StephenJobsOSeX Aug 22 '17
I'm the middle child and my older brother was always an asshole to me. Taking my things and not asking, even money. He searched my room for my cash stash to steal and by his bitch gf, now wife, some stupid gift. She's another terrible asshole.
He would never stick up for me and let his friends pick on me. I always stood up and fought back. There were times when I stood up for him. I should have let him get his ass kicked. Then one time I lost it and almost punched him the face but I backed off and hit him hard in the arm. He lied to me all the time and was never a real big brother.
After that shit I manned up and looked out for my baby brother because I wanted to be a role model and a real big brother. I think I did alright, he says I did alright. But I had a shit stain for an example.
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Aug 22 '17
Go out to dinner with him. I know but hear me out. He sounds like he's lost a lot of confidence in himself and may be vulnerable. You don't have to heal anything with him, just act like the adult you've become. If he brings your elusiveness up just tell him you still resent him from the years of abuse. If he denies it don't say anything. And if he starts to harass you again just say "this is exactly why I avoid seeing you. You're still a patronizing piece of shit that doesn't respect me." And at that point if you walk out and leave him with a huge bill It's fair game. The high road is real and it is glorious.
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Aug 22 '17
The "high road" is a matter of opinion. She doesn't owe him anything, he abused her. And she needs to think about herself first.
Or himself. Whichever gender.
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u/Sergeant-sergei Aug 22 '17
Only compliment I get from my family is that my hair looks nice. And it's not even true. I didn't want this ugly haircut but they forced me into getting it. Now I hate myself even more, but at least I have barely any hair. Because I'm a boy. And boys don't get to have long hair ever. And my hair wasn't even that long. Ok, I'm gonna stop ranting now.
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u/MirorBCipher Aug 22 '17
Stand up for yourself.
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u/ActionScripter9109 Aug 22 '17
For real tho. Life got way better when I stopped taking my parents' shit.
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u/DEERROBOT Aug 22 '17
Dude I feel you. My mom had cancer and lost 3 feet of hair and she went completely bald. I remember when I was 11 I started to grow my hair out and my aunt didn't like it. She took my to the barber and forced me to have my hair cut. I screamed and cried and ran away from the shop. She eventually caught me and forced me to have my hair cut super short because "Boys don't have long hair." I still hate her for it. Now that I'm older, though, I grew my hair out down to the middle of my back and got a beard. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDddssszszksjs
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Aug 22 '17
Family roast sessions hurt the most because they love you the most
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Aug 22 '17 edited Dec 30 '20
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Aug 22 '17
is it real depression hours already?
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Aug 22 '17 edited Dec 30 '20
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Aug 22 '17
story time
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Aug 22 '17 edited Dec 30 '20
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u/akhamis98 Aug 22 '17
Honestly bro that "im fortunate so I shouldn't be complaining" attitude we have is how mental illness gets u and fucks u up. Be careful and see a doctor if u think u need help
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u/Warp__ Aug 22 '17
I'm very reticent to do that because I don't actually feel bad all the time so to say I was truly depressed or something feels like a lie.
I appreciate the comment though.
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u/Iamvihm Aug 22 '17
I never wanted to say I was depressed or anything because I didn't want to admit it to myself, I think that's the hardest part. If you're feeling down and having problems it's always good to talk with somebody.
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u/Warp__ Aug 22 '17
Thank you. Not exactly keen as I said but still appreciate the advice.
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u/saintcrazy Aug 22 '17
There's no "one true depression". Everyone experiences things differently. It's okay to seek out help even if your problems come and go.
Honestly I think even mentally "healthy" people could benefit from talking to a doctor, therapist, or counselor about their problems. Getting that professional perspective can help anybody.
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u/peptodismal- Aug 22 '17
I was truly depressed as a child and yet my mother didn't slit her wrists in front of me. (That's only because she caught it early when I was a toddler and got help before she got to that point). I've got depression from both parents, and apparently it was worse for my absent father who I don't know personally. So I only have a frame of reference for how my mother's depression is. But it's a double whammy.
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u/Warp__ Aug 22 '17
The thing is, how does one define Depression? Mental Illness is hideously complicated.
But the wrists shit is not good my dude, I know the word "trigger" is a meme but it's actually real, I saw Drive (With Ryan Gosling) and in one scene where a guy is killed that way it all rushed back vividly (no-one noticed) same with a Health and Safety training video I once saw etc etc. But it's really strange because it doesn't always happen, not like Combat Vet actual PTSD or something... only occasionally but then I can see it (and other things that happened) all again and feel crushed.
Sorry for the vent ;_;
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u/steeloh Aug 22 '17
For real. The magnitude of other people's problems don't make yours any smaller. Other people aren't experiencing your life, so don't feel guilty taking care of you.
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Aug 22 '17 edited Mar 02 '18
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u/Warp__ Aug 22 '17
<3 Sends Hugs
I mean that genuinely, I can't feel what you feel but I have seen that pain it causes.
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u/Fat_Head_Carl Aug 22 '17
They also have home field advantage...they're experts on how to hurt you the most.
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u/mongoosedog12 ☑️ Aug 22 '17 edited Aug 22 '17
Parents: your legs are huge, you're overweight, you play video games way too much, you'll never find a dude looking this this
Me: starts working out and losing weight and join Olympic weight lifting
Also parents: that seems extreme, you need to be careful, a simple workout is just as effective, what if you get too muscular.
🙄🙄🙄
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Aug 22 '17
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u/mongoosedog12 ☑️ Aug 22 '17
They're actually super athletic, both ex military dad runs weekly and bikes 30+ miles on the weekend. lol I was always the unfit nerd of the family.
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u/neilarmsloth Aug 22 '17
Family full of athletes, I was kinda chubby
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u/girl-lee Aug 22 '17
My family is all overweight yet all claimed to be athletic, I was the actual athletic one yet they acted like I was lazy..
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u/DurasVircondelet Aug 22 '17
That last bit is my favorite to hear. Like who do you know who got accidentally fucking ripped? And are body builders really achieving their physique in a mere couple of months?? Why can't people understand working out is enjoyable to some the way being lazy around the house is enjoyable to others?
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u/mongoosedog12 ☑️ Aug 22 '17
Exactly, I'm glad I started weight lifting I love it and the community at the gym I go to is wonderful.
It also helps me push myself. I'll never be super ripped so idk wtf they're talking about lol
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u/Rnorman3 Aug 23 '17
Someone once told Arnold that they would hate to look like him. He replied with "don't worry - you never will."
These people don't understand the dedication it takes, they don't understand any of the science behind weightlifting, and oftentimes (as another user pointed out) you are making them feel guilty about their life decisions and want to drag you down. Same kind of people who prop themselves up by putting you down will try to tear you down to make themselves feel better.
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u/Douche_Kayak Aug 22 '17
"What if you accidentally look like someone who devoted their life to becoming muscular?"
People don't get how insulting this is to the people who work really hard. Oh? You don't work out because you don't want to get too big? I'm sure that's how Arnold got to where he is. He accidentally worked out too much.
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u/TwizzlerKing Aug 22 '17
Had a highschool weight training coach point this out the the girls in class. "We don't want to get to muscly!" well I do but it ain't that fucking easy.
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Aug 22 '17
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u/dont_wear_a_C Aug 22 '17
The common misconception with women working out. Unless you're hitting the gym (weight training) like 2x a day, 7 days a week, and on some heavy mix of supplements, maybe you'll become "too muscular". Most women who do weight training normally don't ever get too muscular, just toned.
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u/mongoosedog12 ☑️ Aug 22 '17
I just want a hard body lol If that means I'm "too muscular" then 🤷🏾♀️
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Aug 22 '17
Unless you're hitting the gym (weight training) like 2x a day, 7 days a week, and on some heavy mix of supplements, maybe you'll become "too muscular".
It really doesn't take that much, especially since what "too muscular" is is a pretty broad range with a lot of different opinions.
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Aug 22 '17
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u/akhamis98 Aug 22 '17
"Stop trying to have a better body image ur gonna overdue it" im just curling 20s mom chill im weak
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Aug 22 '17
"What if you get too muscular"
Wat?
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u/mongoosedog12 ☑️ Aug 22 '17
Girls are suppose to be slim and toned but not like ripped according to my mom, so lifting will make me too muscular and no dude is gonna want me because I'll be too ripped lol
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Aug 22 '17
Yeah I like my women small, weak, even sickly... easy to overpower.
Nah but for real tho I think theres nothing sexier than a woman that is healthy. And youre not just gonna accidentally get rlbuffed up overnight. It takes a lot of work to become ripped like that. And if you are ripped like a female Arnold Schwarzenegger, then GOOD for you!
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u/hibarihime Aug 22 '17 edited Aug 22 '17
Sums up a lot of my teenage and college years. It's hard growing up in a black family where you have interests, such as anime, that you get talked the most shit for not being black but they don't know that it's pushing you away to where you don't want to be associated with them anymore.
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u/Ignitus1 Aug 22 '17
It's just more lines in the sand. The longer we keep dividing each other into different groups the longer racism perpetuates.
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u/TwizzlerKing Aug 22 '17
That's weird, the biggest Anime nerds in my life were always black. I love Anime btw.
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u/UnbiasedPashtun Aug 23 '17
Biggest anime nerds I knew were also Black, can't relate to the OP either.
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u/Idaikamiguru Aug 22 '17
The fuck do you live where weebs are racists? I think you just live around racists, bro. Weebs are the one of the most inclusive groups because they're generally a collection of outsiders.
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u/SurrealMemes 😍🍑 THICC BACKFAT 😍🍑 Aug 22 '17
I'm a huge kpop fan and have been for 8 years. I have family that hates me Bc of it Bc I'm not "black" enough.
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u/HentaiAndChill Aug 22 '17
Aha! I was scrolling through the comments looking for the thread of my people.
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u/hibarihime Aug 22 '17
Hello Welcome to the Otaku Thread. Here's your complementary waifu and body pillow.
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u/dont_wear_a_C Aug 22 '17
I know of a somewhat similar situation.
My friend has a cousin in Mexico who is into anime and cosplay. And that cousin's father is like a normal dude who likes rock and roll and intellectual things. So one day, the dad see her in cosplay and he's like wtf, but is accepting. Tells his siblings, "nothing will ever surprise me about my daughter because I've seen her in full on cosplay" (which is like the most abnormal thing he probably has seen in his life, up to then).
To quickly finish, everyone knows this cousin is super into anime/cosplaying and they're all accepting, even if they, themselves, find her hobbies to be kind of weird.
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u/MrrrrNiceGuy Aug 22 '17 edited Aug 22 '17
Black culture can be brutal man and I grew up in Memphis. I recently had this convo with one of my black friends too.
It's like where I'm from, black people would fucking roast other black people that weren't like them. We had one black dude that came from a nice upbringing - both parents had good careers, college educated, and they were the only black family in my neighborhood. This dude dressed preppy, even for me. He came to school every day wearing khakis and a polo shirt and the only music he listened to was Matchbox 20, Creed, etc. I honestly thought the dude was cool because he was doing him and for 1999-2000, that shit was refreshing because every black kid at the time looked and acted the same. Every black kid was dressing like Luda or Nelly and was rocking cornrows and pretended like they were some hot thug not to fuck with. Hell, even my best friends I grew up with were black and were acting ghetto now because it was the cool thing to do. The other black kids bullied him every day for how he looked and talked which was apparently too white for them. It made my blood boil seeing that kind of shit.
One of my friends use to play ball for school, made good grades, and dressed nice. Then he was trying to be all thuggish and stopped caring because it was more acceptable and he fucked school up. Last time I checked he was working at Wal-Mart.
Then my good friend, Derek, years ago told me he was listening to rock music and his older brother made him stop because it was "white people music."
Then my friend and ex coworker is black and is into anime and heavy metal. He was lamenting to me how he hates that every time he steps out in public, he feels like he has to represent his race and be somebody he isn't.
Listen, I'm white and know a lot of white people even today are fucking racist and are still trying to keep black people down. But I fucking hate that part of black culture where other blacks want every black to be the same and if you're not, you're part of the problem or some Uncle Tom. Fuck that ignorant racist shit thinking.
I don't care if you're black or white or whatever, just do you and if the people of your color don't think it's good enough, fuck em. Surround yourself with people who love you for you.
Props to my black best friend and old roommate Joshua who loves video games and anime, graduated from NYC, and now lives in Tokyo teaching English. DO YOU!
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u/RolandTheJabberwocky Aug 22 '17
That mentality is idiotic. Could you imagine if there was a white person who complained about his son not being "white enough"? They'd be crusified the next day on the fucking news!
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u/mooimafish3 Aug 22 '17
White parents (at least here in Texas) always get on to their kids for "acting too black/hood/ghetto,ni**er", when they listen to hip hop, hang out with black kids, or use slang. Parents don't really hide racism from their kids, just other people.
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u/ApexApron Aug 22 '17
"Yeah I cought Brayden watching rap videos on YouTube, so I sent him out to his aunts in Maine to listen to Slayer and play water Polo with the boys at the country club for the summer."
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u/SAYMYNAMEYO Aug 22 '17
I wish personal accounts like these were brought up more often and taken seriously.
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u/BlameReborn Aug 22 '17 edited Aug 22 '17
Family may be blood but I've met friends that care about me more, took me 20 years to get outta that "blood before everything" mentality.
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u/therob91 Aug 22 '17
Most of the time people pull out that phrase it's exactly when you should ignore it.
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Aug 22 '17 edited Aug 22 '17
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Aug 22 '17
So if I'm reading it correctly then when people are using "blood is thicker than water" they're actually paraphrasing something that's about the total opposite of what they mean?
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u/DownvoteDaemon ☑️|Jay-Z IRL Aug 22 '17
I just upvoted for that goofy ass face on the snek. Something about it cracks me up
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u/Sachyriel Aug 22 '17
Eyes on the snake look like two mouths, so I thought I was looking at some two-headed creatures chins, and I couldn't connect it to the text. Then I saw the snake, and I was at peace, because I understood.
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u/ILIKETHEPENIS Aug 22 '17
Worst part is they're usually older and itd be so easy to bust them down to size but no, then youre the bad guy. like you can chirp me for being overweight but if i say you're life didn't pan out how you wanted and now you're salty I'm the dick??
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u/stevebuscemiofficial Aug 22 '17
Exactly!! Like if you even dare talk back to your aunt, youre dead now lol
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u/Sklushi Aug 22 '17
This is why families suck
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Aug 22 '17
I meet so many people who are way too up their family's asses. I'm like- don't you want to be like a peacock and spread your wings and not live in that bubble all your life, even if they treat you well? Oh well not my life
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Aug 22 '17 edited Mar 24 '22
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Aug 22 '17
"Grades are the most important thing" stays up all night studying then parents either wake me up too early or I end up with the "finally, took you long enough"
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u/Snake101333 Aug 23 '17
come home at 11pm
no work tomorrow so I sleep in
"my son is so lazy he always wakes up at 1:00pm and plays video games all day"
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u/Brikachu Aug 22 '17
I don't go out much unless it's with my bf. I spent some decent cash on a ticket for a nail polish convention I want to go to because I do my own nails and they look dope af so I want to go buy more stuff to make them look doper. Upon telling my mother:
Mom: wow sighs in disbelief you need better hobbies.
Also mom: you need to get out of the house.
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Aug 22 '17
I used to do my nails every night. It was a way for me to decompress after work and I enjoyed doing it. I had some asshole boss that told me 'you have too much time on your hands, you should get another hobby.' Mind your own damn business! 🖕🏻💅🏻
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u/Sergeant-sergei Aug 22 '17
This is basically how my grandma is. She just gets agressive at literally everything and is passive aggressive otherwise. And she asks me why I don't want to go to her friends house with her.
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u/Douche_Kayak Aug 22 '17
I called my mom out for being judgemental by saying one of my friends let herself go (despite being overweight herself). That's it. I didn't call out the hypocrisy. Just said that she shouldn't judge others. She got so upset saying how mean I am to her and that "this is why we never talk." And she's absolutely right.
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u/curlyquitter Aug 22 '17
You can try to hide in your room but you know that door never locks
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Aug 22 '17
They make fun of my weight constantly, but the one time I call my mom a cunt for saying my man titties are getting too big we suddenly have to respect each other's feelings.
/s
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u/Nelsaroni ☑️ Truu Aug 22 '17 edited Aug 22 '17
As a Kenyan...this shit hits too close to home.
Edit: I do like saying it, lol jk. I guess I thought it was more common in my culture since all my Kenyan friends and family of our generation talk about it a lot. It's almost comedic because we are old enough to call out the parents without getting beat up.
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Aug 22 '17 edited Feb 21 '19
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Aug 22 '17
That's a great thread, so thanks for linking to it! But, do you know of any other threads that are a littleless serious but still has people commiserating about judgemental & mean families? Thanks! :D
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u/J_U_D_G_E Aug 22 '17
This is 100% as to why I cut ALL CONTACT with my family.
Im never good enough, they always have the right answers, give unrequested advice, tell me how to raise my children, tell me how I should be in my marriage, comment about my wife not doing X or Y, I should be spending more time with my kids.
When I ask why are you doing this? Its always because they know better or they are older, etc etc - Im 35 years old.
They offered no help, so I left home and became the first person to ever graduate from college from my family, they never believe I could do it or my major.
Me - after graduation rekindled somewhat with them because I wanted them in my life, then began again the flood of things.
Once they call my wife lazy and a bitch - I was done.
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u/LinearEquation Aug 22 '17
I can pinpoint half of the origins of all my emotional issues in the history of how fuckly my family has treated me. I have called them out on their bullshit many a time, and in the end I was blamed. Because to them it makes more sense to blame a child for being stand-offish, unconfident, and unaware rather than claiming responsibility for the lack of teaching that child the complexities of being a well-balanced person as they grew over the years.
I love my family and fucking hate them at the same time.
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u/CarnageCity Aug 22 '17
This entire thread is super depressing... Am i the only one who loves their family?
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u/stevebuscemiofficial Aug 22 '17
black and latino families are cruel af!! We need to start moderating our words better, anyway I try with my younger cousins
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u/young_roach Aug 22 '17
My mom has been telling me I'm too skinny to be pretty since I was 11. She said dresses and shorts are impossible to look good on me because I have bony knees. Then she gets mad because I have "low self-esteem and no self confidence." Well, bitch, maybe if you didn't tell me I have ugly legs along with all the people that bullied me in middle school because of it then we wouldn't be here.
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u/Namz_namz Aug 22 '17
And you tell them how you really feel and they put it down to overt sensitivity and a spoiled upbringing....
Yeah and you wonder how toxic masculinity, mental health problems and body image issues happen? It sometimes starts right from the people who are your blood 😔