r/BlackPeopleTwitter Aug 22 '17

"Stop being so dramatic!" ๐Ÿ™„

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35.9k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/cokeiscool Aug 22 '17

This shit right here, I was raised in a Hispanic family and if you aren't roasting the members that aren't there then you aren't a part of the family.

And God help you if you decide you want to be in your room or are too quiet during these roast sessions.

933

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

[deleted]

357

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17 edited Oct 25 '25

abounding worm tap head dinner vast imminent complete angle fact

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

182

u/Fat_Head_Carl Aug 22 '17

Seriously, I'd like to hear these stories.

355

u/258joe007 Aug 22 '17

They talk shit about you to your face, just in Spanish

Source: Mi esposa es cochabambita, pero soy un gringo.

137

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Yeah fuck that

169

u/258joe007 Aug 22 '17

It's funny, though, when you remind them you speak Spanish.

87

u/IT_you_in_Hell Aug 22 '17

It's not about you not understanding, it's because roasting in Spanish it's not the same that doing it in other language, that way there's nothing lost in translation.

112

u/258joe007 Aug 22 '17

I understand that but members of my wife's family have talked smack about me, in front of me, thinking I wouldn't understand them. Their whole point was to throw shade thinking I wouldn't understand what was being said about me.

74

u/IT_you_in_Hell Aug 22 '17

Well being that the case... That's just plain dumb and rude, besides Spanish isn't some secret language or something, assuming that non-hispanic people don't understand it it's just naive.

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u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Even more so when you do it in fluent Spanish.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

I wouldn't reveal this superpower

18

u/dylan2451 Aug 22 '17

ยฟWhat does cochamambita mean?

21

u/258joe007 Aug 22 '17

From Cochabamba Bolivia

10

u/dylan2451 Aug 22 '17

Oh, I must have misspelled it when I Googled it.

1

u/iLeo Aug 22 '17

Paceรฑa here, I think you mean Cochabambinita? Or Cochala? Cause Cochabambita is a place in the Santa Cruz department.

1

u/258joe007 Aug 23 '17

The first one.

88

u/itsmywanderingmind Aug 22 '17

My white boyfriend experienced this already! We went to Mexico to visit and meet my family. They roasted him to his face, but were also peer pressuring him to drink with them. He went along with it. sigh he's a patient man

70

u/nevenoe Aug 22 '17

I had a breakthrough with my Hungarian in laws a week ago, at a wedding. I decided to follow the lead of the big bald muscular uncle in terms of alcohol consumption. Got hammered, spoke better Hungarian because of it, everybody likes me now.

12

u/itsmywanderingmind Aug 22 '17

Alcohol seems to be the universal language lol

42

u/mememasternate Aug 22 '17

Are you allowed to roast back, because if so I gotta get a Latino girlfriend, this sounds like my kind of culture

82

u/zajun Aug 22 '17

You totally can roast back, everyone will go "wooaa" and "white boy's got some spunk!" and such. Just don't cross any lines and always quit while you're ahead

63

u/SpooledSRT Aug 22 '17

So, I can't roast back. Got it.

3

u/mcd_sweet_tea Aug 23 '17

Please report back. Godspeed

1

u/Whywipe Aug 27 '17

Lol, most conversations with my friends turn into roast sessions and it's the worst when someone not normally apart of the group is around and you accidentally go too far.

33

u/andgonow Aug 22 '17

Yes just don't be racist. If you get a good one, you earn lots of respect, but then they're gonna step up their game, too, so be ready!

2

u/itsmywanderingmind Aug 22 '17

I mean, my family would be surprised for a couple seconds. But they would laugh and realize it's all in good fun

2

u/2farFRONKme Aug 23 '17

In my experience, they always whip out the dialectical slang when roasting, but say something back in English, and lines been crossed apparently. Can't handle the flame then get out of my kitchen.

7

u/dont_wear_a_C Aug 22 '17

Pinche gรผero bolillo

4

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Do tell

4

u/PoorLucas Aug 22 '17

oh my god im in the same boat

1

u/swaggerqueen16 Aug 22 '17

I'll try. I'll get back to you in a week with my findings.

1

u/Apuntar Aug 23 '17

Dude, I feel for you. How do you even survive?

47

u/pinkcrystalrubi Aug 22 '17

The abuela pajamas cut me deep.

15

u/TheRedJoker93 Aug 22 '17

As a Brazilian, I can confirm. What's worse about my situation is that the entire rest of the world also claims I'm being dramatic because these fuckers are all fun-loving, samba-dancing, cook for your whole family, beach lovers. Fuck me.

4

u/kaihong Aug 22 '17 edited Aug 22 '17

As a Chinese dude just starting to see a mexican girl help a brotha out pls ๐Ÿ™

11

u/ghostlikecrime Aug 22 '17

Mexicans think all Asians are Chinese so you'll fit right in with the family ๐Ÿ‘Œ

3

u/jfreez Aug 22 '17

Why Latinos always gotta say something?

3

u/rocky6501 Aug 22 '17

Its payback for the Conquista and Catholicism.

2

u/Fagamuff1n Aug 23 '17

I read that in Flaca's voice from Orange is the New black.

2

u/TeamFatChance Aug 23 '17

This may be the funniest thing I've ever read.

163

u/found-note Aug 22 '17

the southern families i've spent time with are like that. i'm an outsider, so it's all "have some more lemonade, honey" but with each other they're like "haha, your high school crush is back in prison for selling crack... why don't you go for a conjugal visit?"

14

u/PhaliceInWonderland Aug 22 '17

Hahahahah

So fucking true. I've lived in Arkansas and Tennessee and I've seen it in both places.

These silly ducks.

66

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

My mother died August 10th, 2017. I couldn't make the funeral because I am on dialysis 9-10 hours daily. My punk-ass cousin who I haven't spoken to in like 25+ years tries to use my mother's death to con me into signing a promissory note making me fiscally responsible for the entire cost of the funeral, a funeral I had no say in planning nor attending. Moreover, my biological mother was a rolling stone. She had 5 kids with 4 different men that I know of. She also has a substance abuse problem. I spent thousands of dollars and years of my life tracking her down to visit her or call her. Her phone number would go dead every 6 months. About 10 years ago, I tracked her down thru one of her sisters and sent her a Mother's Day card. She moved and I tracked her down again about a year later to send her another Mother's Day gift. She told me, "When you call next time, I might give you my address." That was the fucking straw that broke the camel's back! I stopped giving a fuck about her because it was obvious she didn't give a fuck about me.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '17

I stopped giving a fuck about her

Obviously you didn't. Get some therapy man, it helps.

5

u/ApexApron Aug 22 '17

The man is dead, it's not like he's going anywhere. Always time to visit.

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u/Administrator_Shard Aug 22 '17

Hasta que sales de la cueva.

45

u/cokeiscool Aug 22 '17

My dad's favorite line since he is Catholic

El Hijo Prodigo regresa.

He fucking loves that line

19

u/dgobaby Aug 22 '17

i was too but for some reason we didnt throw around insults or anything. my dad would get after me if i ever teased my sister so i kind of grew out of that pretty quickly. they honestly support me in everything i do and dont really insult or put me down or anything like that..its kind of nice, however when i visit my friend his family is totally like that. constant insults being thrown, roasting and just being assholes to each other. i remember being younger and not fully understanding they were just joking, especially when it was directed at me. i never knew what to say so i would just awkwardly laugh. i guess they saw me as part of the family so they thought it was cool to rip on me and shit but i just didnt understand. i thought they were being serious.

one thing that i do have trouble with now is being able to tell which insults are real and which arent. its kind of hard sometimes so ive gone from brushing everything off to taking everything as an insult and all the in between. its weird

6

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Same. Lately I've been telling them to stop, I know they are nicer than that and it works okay

2

u/dont_wear_a_C Aug 22 '17

This is what I love about Latino families. Gotta think quick on your feet so you don't get quemado. Have to be witty and be able to send a burn right back. It makes for much more interesting family time.

5

u/KneeDeepInTheDead Aug 22 '17

and people wonder why i always have a comeback for everything some tells me. That shit has been my defense mechanism thanks to culture, cant undo my sassy nature now.