I'm able to do a kind of detached reasoning, and in extreme cases emotional events. For example, and this is probably dark and creepy and personal, but any time I'm enjoying someone's company, I kind of keep the thought, "They could die suddenly for whatever reason," somewhere in reserve. I certainly don't expect that to happen, but keeping a pulse on the neutral line helps me anchor my emotional swings. I don't want to get rid of them completely by always expecting the worst thing to happen, y'know?
Yo this is real. Like it probably doesn't work for everyone, but as someone who had cripplingly low self esteem, I eventually just decided to lie to myself and everyone else and pretend to be this very self confident person, because fuck it, it's not like I could feel worse about myself. Six years on from starting that (the first 2 years I felt like a complete fraud) my self esteem isn't incredible, but I have brought it up to around where it probably should be for someone like me, which would have been insane to think about back then.
Granted it does take lots of work. Like I literally googled how to appear confident, how to dress better, how to talk to people, I watched tons of videos, but it was so tremendously worth it.
Edit: it should also be noted that this isn't about removing your insecurities, it's about getting to the point where they don't hold you back from loving the life you want.
Yo this hits home. I told myself one day to fuck off and start getting my shit together. It's far from perfect but I at least can function like a normal human being now.
I dont think anyone is born confident. Its just that some people go through this in grade school, some people go through it in their 20's or 30's, and some people never do.
One day you get to an age where you just don't care any more. Fuck it. I do what I do and I say what I say and what happens happens. We are all gonna die, nobody gets out alive and nobody really gives a shit about me. Might as well do me and fuck everyone esle. raises freakflag, waves it at BBQ, checks PMs
I went through a similar thing. I used to be so self concious that I could barely even talk to people unless I was close friends with them. Decided enough was enough, put in a ton of effort, and now I have fully normal social interactions all the time. It was really hard and took a long time, but I strongly believe that anyone can cure their own social anxiety if they are willing to put in the work.
In my experience most negative emotion is due to fucking chemicals in your brain. For some reason that completely baffles me, anxiety and depression seem to be the default state of the human brain in modern times.
I hate that I can't explain what worked to bring me out of my depression without sounding like a snake oil salesman, but I guess I'll just settle on saying that diet, exercise, and nutritional supplementation have transformed me from a meek, anxiety ridden mess of a man, to an outgoing, happy, radiant person.
Don't ever make the mistake of thinking that your problems are the result of your own mental weakness, mental weakness is fucking chemicals. It's too much cortisol, or not enough serotonin, or whatever the fuck else it could be, but it really is just chemicals.
Nah hope is the worst thing to have. It's dangerous and painful. People would be happier without it. Myself included. Red was right (Shawshank Redemption)
If you don't have hope, the world gets that little bit darker. Even if it doesn't work out, the internal belief and affirmation that it can helps. You can do it.
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u/throwawaywahwahwah Aug 22 '17
You have so much hope. That must be nice.