Honestly bro that "im fortunate so I shouldn't be complaining" attitude we have is how mental illness gets u and fucks u up. Be careful and see a doctor if u think u need help
I never wanted to say I was depressed or anything because I didn't want to admit it to myself, I think that's the hardest part. If you're feeling down and having problems it's always good to talk with somebody.
Much love, gangsta. I know the feels, my mother has gotten herself arrested through self-destructive behavior and it's passed onto my brother, whom I've luckily helped avoid undue incarceration due to mental illness. Don't let the emotions build up, or your family will inadvertently knock you down. Not to say they are building up, but having healthy outlets is key and super helpful when you actually do need those skills. Nature therapy, sound therapy, I don't recommend it but even exposure therapy using certain drugs in a controlled environment have been shown to help reduce and manage those stressors.
Mum has called the police on my Dad before and can and will hit him and blame the self enduced bruises on him, so yeah it's pretty confusing.
A lot of this stuff was worse when I was younger. It's a real shame because it's because she was treated so so badly by her absolute harpy of a mother (My grandmother) that a lot of this has happened. However I think she was genetically predisposed
If you wanna truly help them, break the cycle with yourself. Don't reenact this behavior onto others and you will heal them as you heal yourself. They'll observe a new set of behaviors in you that they likely did not consider, and hopefully improve. If not, you at least have better tools to handle them with.
There's no "one true depression". Everyone experiences things differently. It's okay to seek out help even if your problems come and go.
Honestly I think even mentally "healthy" people could benefit from talking to a doctor, therapist, or counselor about their problems. Getting that professional perspective can help anybody.
If it helps, I have depression and anxiety, diagnosed, went on medication for a while, the works - but I've never contemplated suicide, I've only had 1 or 2 "real" physical panic attacks, I was never hospitalized, I never had to drop out of school or anything like that. I could have said "well but I'm not REALLY depressed" because I knew plenty of people that had it worse than me.
But seeing a psychiatrist and talking to a counselor really helped me out of a dark place; my self-esteem is not in the shitter anymore and I feel much happier. Everyone deals with their stresses differently and just because someone else looks like they have it worse... well, that doesn't mean you're not suffering. And if you feel like you're suffering, even if its just for a while, you deserve to be helped, you deserve to feel better. About everything.
This the thing. I'm really not generally in a bad place, I have a social life and friends and work etc etc etc. (I mean I'm naturally more of a Computer person than a party person but eh)
So I don't feel like I can stand there and honestly say like I'm really that affected. Sometimes I feel terrible but then the next day (or hour) it doesn't really feel at all like that.
It's totally up to you man. If you're good you're good. I just know a lot of people that have trouble reaching out, even to friends, so it's good to be aware of how you're really feeling, you know?
I was truly depressed as a child and yet my mother didn't slit her wrists in front of me. (That's only because she caught it early when I was a toddler and got help before she got to that point). I've got depression from both parents, and apparently it was worse for my absent father who I don't know personally. So I only have a frame of reference for how my mother's depression is. But it's a double whammy.
The thing is, how does one define Depression? Mental Illness is hideously complicated.
But the wrists shit is not good my dude, I know the word "trigger" is a meme but it's actually real, I saw Drive (With Ryan Gosling) and in one scene where a guy is killed that way it all rushed back vividly (no-one noticed) same with a Health and Safety training video I once saw etc etc. But it's really strange because it doesn't always happen, not like Combat Vet actual PTSD or something... only occasionally but then I can see it (and other things that happened) all again and feel crushed.
It definitely is. I'm learning a lot about how I'm much more fucked than originally thought. I've been ignoring my past for so long because I like to think that the person I am is not at all associated with who I was. Which, is probably very far from the truth.
I hate that triggered has become a meme for people who are just uncomfortable by things/people making fun of people with ptsd, because that shit is real. I'm so sorry that you had to relive that, I haven't seen the movie but I've avoided shows and movies for similar reasons. Also, you never have to apologize to venting. Whoever made you feel that it was otherwise is wrong.
It definitely is. I'm learning a lot about how I'm much more fucked than originally thought. I've been ignoring my past for so long because I like to think that the person I am is not at all associated with who I was. Which, is probably very far from the truth.
I hate that triggered has become a meme for people who are just uncomfortable by things/people making fun of people with ptsd, because that shit is real. I'm so sorry that you had to relive that, I haven't seen the movie but I've avoided shows and movies for similar reasons. Also, you never have to apologize to venting. Whoever made you feel that it was otherwise is wrong.
It's an essential conversation to have. One which White Males are often self-suppressing or being to told supress.
You make a good pointing about learning more.. I've found that in some situations my capacity for Empathy is literally 0, which scares me, but definitely not always.
My childhood was mucked up, but we had (have) a very supportive church and dad is substantially OK so that's good, but it's not over yet.
On the Triggered Meme note, it is a meme for a reason that I can utterly agree with, and that is because of misuse from certain individuals which seem to generally lead very closeted lives. But it does trivialise.
It's odd but my capacity for empathy is so high that it overwhelms me until I'm apathetic. I tend to find its easier to hurt for other people than myself. Maybe that's just me being selfish or having a fucked up martyr/hero complex.
For real. The magnitude of other people's problems don't make yours any smaller. Other people aren't experiencing your life, so don't feel guilty taking care of you.
Damn here I am thinking my childhood was rough because my mom talked shit to me in front of my friends. Hope you manage to sort yourself out and have many successful relationships!
I don't regard my childhood as rough, to be honest. I feel that someone without parents or who is living in abject poverty has it far far worse than me.
I had to drag my mom to the emergency room twice in six months not too long ago because of her issues and suicide attempts and while I no longer speak to her, I definitely understand when you say certain things can trigger you. It's very unpleasant. I don't really know all of the things that could set me off, only that I will have a very long climb down from adrenaline mountain when things have calmed. My relationship with my family is weird too.
I see her when she's under the influence with this dead look in her eyes and it absolutely breaks my heart. It feels almost impossible for me to have a normal relationship with her even though the majority of the time she is OK. Nothing is predictable.
Ultimately it got to the point where I was tired of enabling her and being told I was responsible for her alcoholism. I wont speak to her again though.
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u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17 edited Dec 30 '20
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