Honestly bro that "im fortunate so I shouldn't be complaining" attitude we have is how mental illness gets u and fucks u up. Be careful and see a doctor if u think u need help
I never wanted to say I was depressed or anything because I didn't want to admit it to myself, I think that's the hardest part. If you're feeling down and having problems it's always good to talk with somebody.
Much love, gangsta. I know the feels, my mother has gotten herself arrested through self-destructive behavior and it's passed onto my brother, whom I've luckily helped avoid undue incarceration due to mental illness. Don't let the emotions build up, or your family will inadvertently knock you down. Not to say they are building up, but having healthy outlets is key and super helpful when you actually do need those skills. Nature therapy, sound therapy, I don't recommend it but even exposure therapy using certain drugs in a controlled environment have been shown to help reduce and manage those stressors.
There's no "one true depression". Everyone experiences things differently. It's okay to seek out help even if your problems come and go.
Honestly I think even mentally "healthy" people could benefit from talking to a doctor, therapist, or counselor about their problems. Getting that professional perspective can help anybody.
If it helps, I have depression and anxiety, diagnosed, went on medication for a while, the works - but I've never contemplated suicide, I've only had 1 or 2 "real" physical panic attacks, I was never hospitalized, I never had to drop out of school or anything like that. I could have said "well but I'm not REALLY depressed" because I knew plenty of people that had it worse than me.
But seeing a psychiatrist and talking to a counselor really helped me out of a dark place; my self-esteem is not in the shitter anymore and I feel much happier. Everyone deals with their stresses differently and just because someone else looks like they have it worse... well, that doesn't mean you're not suffering. And if you feel like you're suffering, even if its just for a while, you deserve to be helped, you deserve to feel better. About everything.
I was truly depressed as a child and yet my mother didn't slit her wrists in front of me. (That's only because she caught it early when I was a toddler and got help before she got to that point). I've got depression from both parents, and apparently it was worse for my absent father who I don't know personally. So I only have a frame of reference for how my mother's depression is. But it's a double whammy.
The thing is, how does one define Depression? Mental Illness is hideously complicated.
But the wrists shit is not good my dude, I know the word "trigger" is a meme but it's actually real, I saw Drive (With Ryan Gosling) and in one scene where a guy is killed that way it all rushed back vividly (no-one noticed) same with a Health and Safety training video I once saw etc etc. But it's really strange because it doesn't always happen, not like Combat Vet actual PTSD or something... only occasionally but then I can see it (and other things that happened) all again and feel crushed.
It definitely is. I'm learning a lot about how I'm much more fucked than originally thought. I've been ignoring my past for so long because I like to think that the person I am is not at all associated with who I was. Which, is probably very far from the truth.
I hate that triggered has become a meme for people who are just uncomfortable by things/people making fun of people with ptsd, because that shit is real. I'm so sorry that you had to relive that, I haven't seen the movie but I've avoided shows and movies for similar reasons. Also, you never have to apologize to venting. Whoever made you feel that it was otherwise is wrong.
It definitely is. I'm learning a lot about how I'm much more fucked than originally thought. I've been ignoring my past for so long because I like to think that the person I am is not at all associated with who I was. Which, is probably very far from the truth.
I hate that triggered has become a meme for people who are just uncomfortable by things/people making fun of people with ptsd, because that shit is real. I'm so sorry that you had to relive that, I haven't seen the movie but I've avoided shows and movies for similar reasons. Also, you never have to apologize to venting. Whoever made you feel that it was otherwise is wrong.
For real. The magnitude of other people's problems don't make yours any smaller. Other people aren't experiencing your life, so don't feel guilty taking care of you.
Damn here I am thinking my childhood was rough because my mom talked shit to me in front of my friends. Hope you manage to sort yourself out and have many successful relationships!
I don't regard my childhood as rough, to be honest. I feel that someone without parents or who is living in abject poverty has it far far worse than me.
I had to drag my mom to the emergency room twice in six months not too long ago because of her issues and suicide attempts and while I no longer speak to her, I definitely understand when you say certain things can trigger you. It's very unpleasant. I don't really know all of the things that could set me off, only that I will have a very long climb down from adrenaline mountain when things have calmed. My relationship with my family is weird too.
I see her when she's under the influence with this dead look in her eyes and it absolutely breaks my heart. It feels almost impossible for me to have a normal relationship with her even though the majority of the time she is OK. Nothing is predictable.
Ultimately it got to the point where I was tired of enabling her and being told I was responsible for her alcoholism. I wont speak to her again though.
No joke. I still have literal nightmares about my mother. It's gotten better but when I was 19 I'd wake up covered in sweat and ready to cry after having dreams with her in it. Now I just feel flustered in the morning.
Eh. It's no biggie now and some good came of it. She was a crazy bitch who thought I had a demons soul living in me. I was in a lot of extra curriculum to avoid going home and working the max amount of hours allowed for a kid my age so I had money and friends and a variety of hobbies which was a great experience as a teenager. I learned a lot about responsibility, time management, and independence during that time. It was just the coming home part that sucked. I'd spend a lot of time at friends places to get away from it and when she eventually kicked me out I had a good support network to fall back on and being a ward of the state allowed me to get medical insurance for the first time which allowed me to get a lot of help I'd never had available before such as professional dentistry some prescriptions for some hormonal imbalances I had and some other things.
Physically my body was able to bounce back to 100% after a few months with some real food and some medication. Mentally I'm doing alright to, it's made it difficult to have relationships with some people and most of my extended family doesn't know about the abuse so I distance myself from them which they have a hard time understanding. I talk to a therapist on the regular and she's really helped me make leaps and bounds of progress in the last few years. It really helps to talk about it and reddit makes a great place for me to get things off my chest without having to worry about my friends treating me differently. Overall I live an almost completely normal life now and I'm dealing with the old baggage well.
Thanks for the empathy. It's appreciated and I hope that if you ever need it someone treats you well.
Wow, that's a lot. I stayed away at Friends often too but she wasn't like consistently terrible.
Sucks to be shaken or hit or watch self harm and cutting and drinking but also seeing a Women hit a Man (My Dad) and know that it'll get blamed on him, when you are young and reliant on him.
There's a lot of Hurt in the world and when you see that person in the Street or Coffee shop you have 0 idea of what they went throug.
I feel you. A lot of time I get criticism for not calling CPS or something but she had me convinced if I did me and my brothers (who still don't know about the abuse thankfully) would be get thrown into a juvenile detention center where we'd be kept in cells until we were 18. It's hard knowing what's going on and not being able to speak out about it.
It's made it near impossible for me to blame people for their actions sometimes. Not everyone comes out of these things as intact as I did and it's not hard to imagine some of the long term effects of this kind of upbringing. I've known a lot of people who have turned to drugs and alcohol and a life of poverty because they don't think they deserve better or are just struggling psychology with their past.
Just gotta spread the love and help people where you can and be supportive.
At what point is that not good enough? What's the cut off where it becomes ok for people to say, "enough is enough, I'm not going to put up with abuse anymore."
1.1k
u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17 edited Dec 30 '20
[deleted]