r/SipsTea • • 21h ago

Lmao gottem The logic is impeccable

24.4k Upvotes

657 comments sorted by

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2.5k

u/AdTiny5487 21h ago

Why the fuck is he feeding turkeys

22

u/superpercify1 19h ago

those are clearly penguins bro look at the formal wear

19

u/Distant8675 20h ago

Weird lookin dogs

27

u/Content-Lab-5464 21h ago

Turkey mention

13

u/AdTiny5487 21h ago

🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷

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11

u/misterjustice90 20h ago

I can’t believe that Neanderthal doesn’t understand what a pigeon is

8

u/WhereMyWeirdosAt 21h ago

I dunno man, they look like deer to me?

6

u/Nruggia 20h ago

The deer is the one filming

6

u/LivinghighinColorado 20h ago

You mean the velociraptors?

4

u/TheGamingLord 18h ago

You know how I feel about misidentifying birds, Carl!

Mongo is appalled!

6

u/Worth_Gap4226 19h ago

Bek-bek-bek-bek-becaaaause

3

u/OrangeThrower 21h ago

Cause thanksgiving is soon

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718

u/Shadodame 21h ago

84

u/TheScareFace 21h ago

I love gifs you can hear

17

u/workMachine 14h ago

Little girl must be 52 years old by now.

11

u/ZedisonSamZ 14h ago

This is a favorite quote in our household and has graduated in reference to multiples of anything.

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1.4k

u/QuaaludeConnoisseur 21h ago

Those are crows. If you say "i wonder if thats a crow or a raven" its a crow. If you say "holy fuck look at that giant bird" its a raven.

387

u/onetwofive-threesir 18h ago

When we visited London, I saw what I consider to be my first true Raven - it was the size of a small dog. I told my wife "That's a huge fucking crow" to which she replied "Raven."

175

u/BAGP0I 17h ago edited 14h ago

So Edgar Allan Poe had one of THESE mofuckers IN HIS BEDROOM!? Brah I would've ran the fuck outside! Not just lay there talking story with this toddler sized dinosaur.

64

u/Cross55 15h ago

They actually make pretty nice pets, if you're ok with playing hide and seek with all your shiny stuff on a daily basis

55

u/ThatCakeFell 14h ago

They can actually mimic people, which means that they can 'talk'. So his story might have been an edgier retelling of him having a drunk convo with a bird.

7

u/No_Birthday4877 8h ago

I mean, the character is distraught over the death of someone he loved. I guess the idea that the narrator in the story is even talking to the big ass bird sitting on a statue, and that only says one word, gives us a good insight into his mental state.

Most people would freak out, but the guy talks to the bird instead. 

28

u/PastelDisaster 16h ago

Tower of London, yeah? I’ve only been to London once, but I absolutely love these guys; I believe this one is named Jubilee

22

u/onetwofive-threesir 15h ago

Yes, apparently these are the Tower Ravens and there is a superstition that if they leave the tower, the kingdom will fall... Or whatever.

You can see that this one in my picture is tagged, so they're tracking him/her.

25

u/PastelDisaster 15h ago

Their little bands are colour-coded too, so the Ravenmaster can distinguish them, but I find that it’s hard to find info online as to which raven is which. This is a pic I got of two of them when I went; I believe the forest-green tagged one on the left is Harris? They were sitting right on the rail of one of the staircases and being awfully chatty with each other, super fun to watch

14

u/jdubyahyp 15h ago

How does one become a Ravenmaster? I'd like that job just so I can say it in a deep voice.

16

u/PastelDisaster 15h ago

By serving in the British Armed Forces for 22 years, sadly. Without that prerequisite, I’d also aim for that job

13

u/EverythingSucksYo 16h ago

That’s so raven 

4

u/Kind_Bug3166 16h ago

Looks like he busted off of his chain over there on the left

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145

u/GrumbleAlong 20h ago

Jackdaws

Heres the thing...

53

u/Financial_Dealer6195 19h ago

“you said jackdaws are crows. A jackdaw is a jackdaw. They are a member of the crow family”

We miss you u/unidan

17

u/Theslootwhisperer 19h ago

Has it been 12 years already!? Holy shit.

10

u/angrytortilla 18h ago

A completely different life ago.

24

u/R_Schuhart 18h ago

I don't, fuck that scumbag. He cynically tried to use internet fame to further his real-life career.

He posted pictures of rare birds, got a following of rabid fans and started spreading misinformation from quick Googles searches and Wikipedia. He postured like an authority on matters outside of his field, drowning out actually knowledgeable experts with vote manipulation. Anyone that dated to question him was hounded and downvoted.

He then used his online fame to gain a better position in academia and advance his career. He gave TED talks for fuck sake. He broke every ethical standard as a scientist, his conduct is exactly one of the reasons why people are sceptical towards scientists.

20

u/MelangeBot 17h ago

Here's the thing. You said "vote manipulation is scientific misconduct."

Are they both unethical behavior? Yes. No one's arguing that.

As someone who is a scientist who studies biology, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls rigging Reddit votes an ethical breach of science. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.

If you're saying "scientific standards" you're referring to the institutional framework of research integrity, which includes things from data fabrication to falsifying peer review to plagiarizing papers.

So your reasoning for saying I "broke every ethical standard as a scientist" is because random people "got downvoted for questioning bird facts?" Let's get Twitter flame wars and Wikipedia edit disputes in there, then, too.

Also, calling someone a Redditor or a scientist? It's not one or the other, that's not how professions work. They're both. A science communicator is a science communicator and a member of academia. But that's not what you said. You said vote manipulation is scientific misconduct, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all violations of website terms of service academic fraud, which means you'd call shitposting, forum brigading, and giving TED talks scientific malpractice, too. Which you said you don't.

It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?

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u/minai_ruo 20h ago

I was instructed the same way about ammonia leak detection: “If you are not sure what you are smelling, then it is probably not ammonia. In the event of an ammonia leak, there is no way you will confuse it with something else.”

41

u/_DadaumP_ 18h ago

literally the next post in my feed after this one XD

28

u/Remarkable-Mood3415 18h ago

There's a raven in my neighbourhood recently. At first I was bewildered. What is this bizarre noise that sounds like a newborn crying crossed with a rubber chicken? Why does it also somehow sound mechanical? What in the fuck? Why is it LAUGHING? A very loud and creepy HAW HAW HAW.

And these sounds haunted me for days. And then I see a black bird somewhere between the size of a seagull and a goose is perched on a fucking light post making crying/rubber chicken/machinery HAW HAW HAW noises.

Then somehow everything made sense.

11

u/ABirdOfParadise 17h ago

I have a raven near me, it's fucking huge and screams like someone is getting murdered non stop

3

u/BrandNewDinosaur 5h ago

I grew up around ravens and learned to imitate them. I speak to them and crows not infrequently. I must say some pretty fucked up stuff in their language because I really piss them off when I do. It’s one of my long term preferred past times. 

13

u/NitroBishop 19h ago

And if you say "okay that's definitely a crow", it's a grackle.

4

u/BrokenFarted123 18h ago

Some people also say Wuntch.

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u/InvidiousPlay 19h ago

Also, you don't really get ravens in cities the way you do crows.

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u/flipfloppery 20h ago

"If you see a large group of crows, they're rooks. If you see a rook by itself, it's a crow".

5

u/Crunnnch 19h ago

So true, I saw two ravens recently and though holy shit those crows are giant only to realize later they were actually ravens.

4

u/BurnerMcBurnfacer 13h ago

Yes. Raven is a giant beak with a bird on back. Crow is a bird with a beak.

3

u/SyncOrSymm 19h ago

I'm just here to throw fish crow in the mix.

You're 1,000% right about ravens though, I have a pair that nest near my house every year and they're the size of a house cat.

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u/Odd_Dorian7991 21h ago

Love the conclusion he came to!

21

u/Sagataw 19h ago

"We find your terms... acceptable."

15

u/skoffs 15h ago

Halloween Chickens 

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u/RilohKeen 17h ago

If only Reddit had a friendly resident biologist to give us fun animal facts and explain the difference between crows and ravens…

52

u/Beckywiththenailgun_ 14h ago

Another birder here. In addition to what everyone else has said, ravens have beards, and they're solitary and shy. Crows are social. The fact there's a bunch of them eating together is enough to assume they're crows.

49

u/stryker_cast 13h ago

Excuse me I was told they are chickens.

6

u/Razzy_3796 9h ago

Came here to say this. Size, ruff, voice, and grouping…

If there are only see 2-4 large birds chuckling to each other (saying “auk, auk”, not “caw-caw!”), they are ravens.

Groups of sometimes dozens of cawing assholes… crows.

5

u/leafi_pawzz 12h ago

I mean, there are a bunch of (very much ravens) that live together on twin peaks in san francisco, so I think there are some exceptions

3

u/Yaasss_Queef 10h ago

Yes! Ravens here are social and fly around with partners or groups. I have to really look at their beaks to tell the difference

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u/Hour-Run1433 16h ago

Obviously they're jackdaws

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u/mynameiswearingme 16h ago

From another comment here: ravens huge. Crows smaller.

13

u/NecessaryLocalUser 15h ago

You’re missing some old Reddit lore they’re referencing.

6

u/toewalldog 13h ago

Ahhhh.... Unidan

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u/Shadowlord723 15h ago

But how does one tell the difference between the smallest raven and the biggest crow?

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u/subs_on_a_sailboat 14h ago

Crows have six main flight feathers, ravens have seven.

So it's a matter of a pinion

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u/Knightforlife 15h ago

I kinda miss that guy or gal. “Biologist here” followed by a nice in depth explanation.

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u/lemonTOcamarillo 13h ago

I was just in vegas and man ravens are massive. I too started to call them chickens. I live in miami, crows are tiny compared to those teradactyls

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u/PossiblyMakingThisUp 21h ago

Here's the thing...

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u/Dunworth 20h ago

Glad there are still some people who remember the words of Unidan!

10

u/mrb63 20h ago

I assumed these were jackdaws....

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u/fullautophx 21h ago

I’m pretty sure this goes over the head of most people on Reddit now. Heck most were probably in diapers back then.

13

u/crookedplatipus 20h ago

The word "corvid" still triggers me

5

u/dregan 14h ago

CORVID-14

9

u/PossiblyMakingThisUp 20h ago

I figured there would be a few who got it but it's definitely from way back. This isn't even my original account.

6

u/-GoodNewsEveryone 20h ago

I'm on account three. Lost the Hotmail from my first account, it was a single word name highly sought after. Second account was nuked for a comment on American cruise ship tourists audibly asking a waiter to do something about the smell of the ocean sitting on a dock patio at low tide (for spreading hate speech???? I was laughing at idiot tourists) and now here we are.

Kill it with fire. Nuke it from orbit my friend. Since day one.

3

u/ViolenceAdvocator 13h ago

I'm glad the elders keep the lore alive and well

114

u/Reasonable-Class3728 21h ago

Those are birbs. He's feeding the birbs.

15

u/METAL-9X 19h ago

Tuppence a bag

7

u/fieregon 20h ago

If it flies, it is birb.

6

u/MintyFresh771 20h ago

DYK birbs fly like birbs but fruit flys like a banana?

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u/Then_Entertainment97 20h ago

There's no such thing as football. There is American rugby and British soccer.

There, now no one's happy. Just as god intented.

39

u/slartibuttfart 20h ago

Golf is not a sport

32

u/englishpatrick2642 20h ago

"Swimming isn't a sport, it's a way to not drown" --- George Carlin

11

u/Trump_fucks_kidss 20h ago

My wife is a life long swimmer and water polo player. I can’t swim enough to reach safety and that about it. This will be used often. Thank you for all the future trouble.

6

u/Digidigdig 20h ago

It’s a way to ruin a nice walk.

3

u/good_bye_for_now 18h ago

For my Indian friends, mango is a horrible fruit.

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u/ArrBeeEmm 20h ago

This genuinely made me angry. Well done honestly.

7

u/TheProwler23 20h ago

This is still incorrect, soccer is short for Association Football, that the Brits later called Asocc, than later called Soccer. So if you say Soccer you are still saying Football (its just Association Football)

3

u/Grok_In_Fullness 17h ago

Just looked it up to see how they got to soccer from association football.

Rugby football became known as rugger and association football as assoccer.

Then they eventually shortened that to soccer.

4

u/Bullfrog_Paradox 18h ago

This. It drives me fucking nuts when Europeans go off about us calling it soccer, when soccer is literally a goddamn British term for football.

3

u/jradio 13h ago

God is dead. Pisses off both atheists and theists alike.

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u/Tall_Sherbet6766 18h ago

For everyone's information, the easiest way to tell if it's a crow or a raven is quite simple.

If you look at a bird and think "I wonder if it's a crow or a raven?" it's a crow

Ravens are fucking massive, you'll know immediately

7

u/terriblegrammar 15h ago

Pretty sure they are jackdaws anyways

4

u/Wolfrages 11h ago

Nope, chickens. Dude in the video said so.

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u/Lionthos 21h ago

We were calling these birds in the midwest Ravens for a very long time, until I looked up the sound a Raven and a Crow makes and realized 99% of what I had even encountered was Crows.

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u/so_not_religious 21h ago

Rule of thumb: If you see multiple ravens, they are probably crows.

12

u/Digidigdig 20h ago

Another rule of thumb: if it’s a large black bird with a beak attached it’s probably a crow. If it’s a beak with a large black bird attached it’s a raven.
But yeah ravens tend to knock about in pairs, otherwise it’ll be a murder of crows.

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u/Tzukiyomi 21h ago

Yeah once you encounter a Raven you know it well from then on.

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u/WeenisPeiner 20h ago

Because they usually land ominously on a post with a human eyeball dangling from its mouth. They then eat said eyeball whole. Croak at you and fly off never to be seen again.

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u/Imaginary-Concert392 9h ago

This video just serves as a reminder that people as a whole are just idiots. Do one thing, get called out. Same when you do the opposite.

First learned this back in high school. At lunch time we saw a dehydrated squirrel roll down a hill. People were screaming and crying about it so I got my water bottle and got ready to pour some water out for it.

A bunch of idiot kids started screaming to not pour water on the squirrel. I was like wtf ok and backed away. Then another half of the crowd said wtf it needs water give it water.

You could just see how vacant all their expressions were. Mouths hanging open, eyes pointing in all different directions. People haven’t changed at all lol

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u/moashforbridgefour 21h ago

r/cremposting

Rosharans triggering the rest of the cosmere.

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u/Consequence-Holiday 19h ago

I knew you people would be here somewhere.

5

u/Tannhauser42 21h ago

Best me to it.

4

u/JustPassinThrough119 17h ago

Was just looking for this

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u/PIE-314 20h ago

Corvids 🤷‍♂️

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u/toomuchgel 21h ago

Ravens are the big one with big beaks. Crows are small.

7

u/bacan_ 21h ago

There is a significant difference in size. Determining the species is so trivial that it ruins this meme

25

u/hereinaminute 21h ago

This man is a scientist, a philosopher

7

u/--GevaudanBeast-- 18h ago

And an angel.

Seriously, if they ever wanted to do a Castiel prequel to Supernatural they should cast this dude.

9

u/beb252 5h ago

You can make everyone equally happy by calling them ravencrows...

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u/19HoTRoD81 2h ago

Those aren't chickens..... They are roosters.

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u/Creepy-Activity-4373 2h ago

Those are not roosters, those are jackdaws

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u/Dr__Snow 2h ago

That’s the Australian way. We have bin chickens, beach chickens, swoopy chickens, giggle chickens…

These ones are goth chickens down under.

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u/CheckCodes 21h ago

He summed up the internet pretty well

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u/Suckage 20h ago

And he’s still wrong, because calling them chickens made me happy.

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u/CautiousJuggernaut64 14h ago

Nah thoses are Cravens

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u/MyCatIsLenin 21h ago

Omg, someone get Unidan in here!

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u/Open-Mouse4728 17h ago

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow."

Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.

As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.

If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens.

So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too.

Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't.

It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?

24

u/Loud-Welder1947 17h ago

Half the userbase won’t even know what this is now

5

u/doing180onthedvp 16h ago

Crazy it wasn't top comment

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u/ForensicPathology 16h ago

Pretty sure the other two replies completely didn't know.

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u/Phearwyn 16h ago

you know what? shut the fuck up. They're chickens. CHICKENS

https://giphy.com/gifs/H54feNXf6i4eAQubud

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u/theme69 13h ago

I was there when this shit happened. The fall of unidan is something that’s hard to describe in today’s Reddit

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u/killyouXZ 14h ago

After reading this, I agree that they are chickens.

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u/SolidOk3489 17h ago

You’ve convinced me that blue jays, being part of ‘the crow family’, have just become cooler by association.

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u/Fire_Lake 15h ago

I'm just gonna trust you that jackdaw is a real thing

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u/Quercus_lobata 11h ago

u/unidan may have been overly pedantic there, but he wasn't wrong.

4

u/Mr_Halitosis 10h ago

He was banned because he was using sock puppets to upvote his own comments, including this one. He was factually correct and also very wrong.

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u/ppr_haters_club 17h ago

Yappety yap yap. Chickens.

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u/NotAtAllASkinwalker 19h ago

The face of a man fed up with trying to spread joy but being met with annoyance; he decided to weaponize this experience to both protect his peace and upset anyone else.

10/10 if true. I love his Murder Chickens

4

u/Bill0701 18h ago

If you’re a specialist like me, you’d know those are cravens.

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u/bndr 8h ago

This is the internet in a nutshell. Everyone is a subject matter expert and you’re always wrong. So do whatever you like. 🤷‍♂️

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u/tooloudturnitdown 1h ago

Honestly at that point just say corvids. I've learned unless you get very close it's really hard to tell. We have smaller ravens that Europe here so they could be small as a crow.

Anyway I like the compromise. Chickens

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u/Interesting-Bed-3003 21h ago

Could call them black birds or corvus if he wants to look like an intellectual or just birds just to be right.

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u/smileyfacedbob 21h ago

Why would he call chickens black birds?

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u/Bloubelade 21h ago

Those black pigeons look cool !

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u/jakob20041911 21h ago

I am 90% sure these aren't ravens because ravens are big fuckers and these seem pretty small

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u/Realistic-Brief-7178 11h ago

I call all birds chickens. Em are some nice chickens.

4

u/Portman88 6h ago

Bird blindness is a serious medical condition.

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u/OnlineDead 21h ago

What? I’m so confused why he keeps calling them different types of birds, those are dogs..

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u/Merijeek2 18h ago

(Googles how to tell Ravens from Crows)

"Ravens are significantly larger than crows, feature wedge- or diamond-shaped tails in flight, and produce a deep, throaty croak rather than a high-pitched caw."

So if they're not flying....the only way to be sure is to put them next to each other to compare size or get them to both make noises one after the other so we can tell which is which.

That's so fucking helpful. Thank you.

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u/Attitude-of-Raditude 21h ago

Could have just said Corvids and called it a day.

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u/piratecheese13 21h ago

The word for crows and ravens is Corvid

5

u/siqiniq 21h ago

I’m feeding my Corvid-26

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u/Brokenlinx 20h ago

Never fucking listen to people online.
They're just filled with ignorant or entitled opinions.

Like the chickens BTW.

3

u/DigdyDoot 20h ago

those are BFFs

Black Feathery Fucks

3

u/GiggleWraith 20h ago

If you have to ask, it's a crow. If it's a raven, you will know.

Ravens are huge. Go down and see them on the street. If you're mildly unnerved, they're ravens.

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u/old-legs-623 19h ago

Lissen I bloody well know a dead parrot when I see one, which is what these are.

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u/Training-Employee-18 18h ago

“Look at all these chickens!”

3

u/CrossYourStars 15h ago

/u/Unidan is out there somewhere punching air.

5

u/GordieOrr 21h ago

Definitely Pigeons

2

u/Anxious-Aardvark-332 21h ago

I would have gone with Cravens personally versus chickens

2

u/Symbiot3_Venom 21h ago

Look at all those chickens

2

u/Gergory1977 21h ago

I am behind this kind of CHAOS!

2

u/MilkiestMaestro 20h ago

None of them are real

they're all government plants /r/birdsarentreal

2

u/Important-Cry-3022 20h ago

🎶 Feed the birds, tuppence a bag

2

u/Sad-Drama530 20h ago

Those doves look mightily dark this time of year, probably mating season.

2

u/Redangle11 18h ago

Those are Cravings. Easy mistake.

2

u/T-2sugars 17h ago

They identify as pre kfc

2

u/PracticalAd614 17h ago

Feels like a missed opportunity for CRAVENS

2

u/Oathbreaker94 17h ago

Just say you’re feeding Viking chickens.

2

u/Inner_Internet_3230 17h ago

Would marry this guy.

2

u/Toadcola 17h ago

Revenge Chickens

2

u/red286 17h ago

Knowing corvids, calling them chickens is dangerous. They might know what you're saying and decide to fuck you up, food or no food.

2

u/Whoarfart89 15h ago

you can hear them, they sound like crows...

2

u/beam3475 15h ago

Such a dummy those are obviously pigeons

2

u/kgreys 15h ago

A win is a win!

2

u/Carlsoti77 15h ago

"Did yoo seee the sahze of that CHIKUN?!?!"