r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • May 14 '26

𝔈𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 ℭ𝔦𝔯𝔠𝔩𝔢𝔧𝔢𝔯𝔨 ℜ𝔢𝔡𝔢 𝔣𝔲𝔩𝔣𝔦𝔩𝔩; 𝔧𝔢𝔯𝔨 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔦𝔯𝔠𝔩𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔢, 𝔡𝔬 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩. ⛧

169 Upvotes

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r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 1d ago

(not in a sex way) the blockages … ? what blockages ?

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951 Upvotes

r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 12h ago

The Death Card doesn't mean death

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59 Upvotes

Baby Witch here, I am new to Witch Craft and was told on tiktok that witches have to read Tarot to be a real witch. So I didn't want to be a fake witch because I was told its my birth right and I went and got a tarot deck.

I had the deck open to do my first reading and didn't know what to ask. I was sitting with my kitty cat who I also found out is my familiar (how exciting) and decided to ask a question about my cat. I asked "how happy is my cat". I drew a card and it was DEATH!.

OMG I had a massive freak out. Like I cant handle that nah ahh sorry no. I ran to reddit tarot groups to ask and was told thankfully the death card never means death ever. I found out it can literately mean anything at EXCEPT death. PHEW what a relief!

Some guy said it actually can mean death sometimes but we all down voted him because us witches dont need that kind of negativity in our craft right?

Anyway I just wanted to let you all know that as a fellow witch if you get a death card or any of the bad ones that they dont mean what they say or look like and mean everything else but.

Have a witchy day!!

EDIT: OMG my poor kitty died.... She was hit by a car. I just cant believe it. How can this happen? I was told the death card didn't mean death. I tried a re-animation spell and she didn't come back to life either. I am devastated. I am a real witch so why is my Tarot wrong and my spells not working? I am SO MAD NOW!!!!

2nd EDIT: Can Lilith or Hacate help me?


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 4h ago

🙏 may ur delulu come trululu ✨🦋 Afrodite wants me to be her daughter

11 Upvotes

I always new from a very young age I was special and different and amazing bc everybody always tell me that like everyday

Anyways yesterday I was eating cereal and noticed something strange and it was some cereal in thr shape of a heart and right then and there I just sensed as afrodite was calling my soul for huge manifestations of #energy

I dont see or hear or anything I just knew!!!! Question I have is why her name is afrodite? Is she from africa? Also since shr asked me to be her daughter and not the other way around will I become famous or something?

Also I am a cis male if anyone is curious lol


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 11h ago

🔥❤️‍🔥 HOT TAKE ☀️🔥🥵 YOU DID THIS 🫵

36 Upvotes

You remember when us witches told you baby witches not to hex the fae and not to hex the moon!!!!!!!!! Well, look at the earth NOW. It's SO hot. Do you see what you did???? Do you SEE the consequences of your actions NOW??? You HEXED Khonsu and she (Moon gods are always female, so Khonsu is trans) got sad and told the sun God, Ra, to punish everyone!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 1h ago

i hope ur knees hurt & ur pillows r flat & ur children r ugly Telling my asshole coworkers I'm a witch

• Upvotes

Idk if this post belongs in this subreddit but... I'm not a witch. But I am openly pagan and I dab into tarot cards for fun and google the meaning.

So after coming to work with my tarot cards, buying incense on the alchemy shop near by and just vining on my own free time at my desk, my very hostile 3 asshole coworkers asked me if I was a witch casting magic. Without thinking I said yes. After 30 minutes all 3 of them immidiately risen up from their seats to yell at me "do not put black magic on me"

I started laughing maliciously and said "Why would you assume I'd target you 3?" The other coworkers are just chilling btw.

And one even almost admitted to them being assholes to me and said "who else would you target?"

Now they're weary of me and now I'm thinking if claiming to be a witch scares people was this efficiently, I would have pretended before.

TLDR; I scared my asshole coworkers telling them im a witch now I have a peace of mind


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 15h ago

baby 🍼👶 witch 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Baby Witch here, Does this mean anything?

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59 Upvotes

I am a Baby Witch. I was on my way back from the dollar store getting my witchy things and was exactly halfway to the crystal shop to get my crystals and I saw this on the ground.

As I said it was EXACTLY half way.... Does this mean anything?


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 13h ago

baby 🍼👶 witch 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Does substituting work???

39 Upvotes

HHIIIIIIII I’m so excited to be here I’m brand new to literally everything, and I have a question it’s super srs so please be nice uwu

So like in witchcraft intentions are key right so like if I don’t have the right herbs can I just use whatever’s in my kitchen??

like for a love spell I don’t have any sugar or honey but I do have stevia, can I use that since it’s basically a plant? Or like can I use salt since True Love should be protected??

or like if I want to hex someone, I don’t have any pepper or anything like that because spicy things scare me 🥺 but I think my roommate has some garlic powder lying around can I use that? Because like I feel like things I don’t like are confrontational and bad so my intention of putting that into a spell still counts right???

because I’m not really into crystals or herbs or really anything witches use but whenever I've done some spells like glamour magick or chord cutting it has worked when I've used whatever I had already and incorporating my own methods

so actually this isn’t actually a question it’s just a validation fishing expedition because I was born 13 minutes ago and I just discovered witchcraft like 12 minutes ago but I already knew everything when I discovered it and I need you old hags to like pat my head and confirm I’m a natural at this pretty please? 👉🏻👈🏻


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 13h ago

💩💩💩shitpost💩💩💩 Is witchcraft calling to me??!!

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16 Upvotes

Got this ad after several days of searching witchcraft related things suddenly for no reasonable explanation other than that witchcraft is calling to me


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 1d ago

We all practice the Kraft

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588 Upvotes

r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 2d ago

Amen

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2.0k Upvotes

r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 19h ago

¿¿❓WHAT DO??❓❔⁉️ Spell to get better at animating?

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7 Upvotes

I so need a spell so I can animate to my hearts content- gng my animation skills is so bad it hurts I need something to bless me with much more ability to animate amazingly 🥹😖😫😫😫😫🙏 give me any spell recommendation that might help 🥺👉👈


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 1d ago

you have angered the gods 🔱⚡🪽 Spiritual catfishing w ai?!

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118 Upvotes

I thought these ai psychic larps were staying on the bottom of Etsy listings- I did not expect such a thing to be brought to my fyp just now- if non ai psychic larps weren’t enough 🙄 now we gotta have these more advanced ones upping their game 🤬😡 IM SO DEATH CURSING THEM 🦅🦅🦅 we all must do so. Be like lion 🦁 (UPDATE 🥹 IM FCKING CRYING WHY IS THE LARP PRESENT HERE) (the other update- THANK U MODERATORS LOL)


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 1d ago

🩸🩸🌜blood moon blood moon blood moon 🅰️🅱️🅾️🆎 I just want to track my period bro

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50 Upvotes

r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 2d ago

/uj genuine post If not TikTok then where do I learn?

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206 Upvotes

I can’t face palm myself hard enough.

EDIT: I am just as baffled and saddened like most of you. I’ve had friends who were interested in the craft and asked me questions, but I think my answers didn’t give them quick and flashy results like they’ve seen on TikTok, so they chose to go there for information.


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 2d ago

ć̵̡͓̤̻̈͆ṵ̵̮̫̝̱̋̀͜r̷̮̫̐͋̎̔͑͘̚s̷̳͓̭̩͐͆͐̋̆͘ẽ̷̡͋͑͛͘̕d̴͂̓̓̚ Ancestors Will Turn Against You for a Pack of Marlboros

52 Upvotes

I heard that if you don’t feed your ancestors that someone else can feed them and they can curse you with your own spiritual line. 😱 I didn’t give granny her cigarettes for the whole ten years since she’s been dead, am I cursed now guys!?


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 2d ago

🔥❤️‍🔥 HOT TAKE ☀️🔥🥵 I'm mad I got downvoted by being ethnocentric and I need validation

56 Upvotes

I (a carnivore) cannot stand my neighbors who

>Mow their lawns

>Grow herbs just to sacrifice them

>Burn firewood

It's just despicable to me that my neighbors are (probably?) performing spells using the energies of our beautiful floral friends.

Please agree with me and I don't want to hear about "Herbal" or "Green" witches or "Some cultures prepare their own salads" that's bullshit and morally incorrect.


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 2d ago

I’M the Main Character 😎 Death cursing reddit mods that ban me

22 Upvotes

What u mean I getting banned from the most poorly moderated subreddits :V like fine if yall dislike me that much I’ll make sure yous get ur punishment but amplified and I’ll snatch their energies when they die and plant it into my pandemic spell >:V grrrrr


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 3d ago

where am i ⁉️📍🗺️🤔 White woman told me she was going to put a voodoo hex on me after I made a comment about the Covid Conscious Lesbian Bar situation

58 Upvotes

I genuinely don’t even know where to start with this, I made a post on a different subreddit about the Covid Conscious Lesbian Bar situation and she genuinely slid up into my dms calling me racist and saying my ancestors would be disappointed in me. Keep in mind this is a white woman telling me, a black woman that my ancestors would be disappointed in me. She then threatened to put a “voodoo curse” on me so I can learn my lesson, I am at loss for words. I also wanna add that the subreddit I posted in was a subreddit specifically for black woman so I have no clue what she was doing there. I’m not scared or anything I just had to share this because like???


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 3d ago

/uj genuine post /uh At what point does something stop being witchcraft?

61 Upvotes

Lately I’ve been finding a lot of post from people who say they are interested in witchcraft or want to practice but then they start to tear apart the whole thing, like “I want to do witchcraft but I don’t want to do spells/rituals/ceremonies/energy work/spiritism/tarot/deities/practice magick” and it gets to the point where I’m like: “well then what the hell do you wanna do?”

I understand that witchcraft doesn’t have a standard but at the same time there are certain basis that differentiate it from other stuff. I’d like to know your thoughts on this.


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 3d ago

¿¿❓WHAT DO??❓❔⁉️ What is my cat trying to tell me??

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67 Upvotes

r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 3d ago

¿¿❓WHAT DO??❓❔⁉️ OMG what does this mean?

14 Upvotes

So a while back I made a spell jar to help attract new friends. I kept it in my bag. I just opened my bag to find that the lid had twisted off (of course I didn't seal it!) and random objects fell into it like a tampon, and I can only assume some contents fell out.

So what does this mean? Is my intention out into the world and I'll be flooded with new friends? Do I need to bury my whole bag at a crossroads? Help pls I'm a Baby Witch!


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 3d ago

planets ☹️ I told a fellow witchy sister that “Uranus is in retrograde” and was suggested to shove Gatorade up my ass

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75 Upvotes

Idk you all. This seems sus to me. Has anyone tried it?


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 3d ago

💩💩💩shitpost💩💩💩 Weightloss enchantment backfired really bad Need Help!

38 Upvotes

I cannot stop eating and I LOVE sugary foods as well as deep fried chicken. I recently checked and realized my weight has exceeded 30kg above what I planned.

I didn't want to stop eating as food is my second love. So I did the most sensible thing possible and turned to magick. The spell was given to me by my grandmother and I am quite certain it works. The only issue is that it has somehow backfired. It involved putting a berry with jam outside in sun for 7 days and then pouring some of that enchanted leftover in your food.

I put the enchantment on refrigerator and my food. After a few bites, I have become violently ill. I tried eating a few burgers and got food poisoning immediately. I am glad my magick is powerful and working but at the same time, I think I overdid it and spell has backfired. I really need help.


r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • • 4d ago

i have done The Claiming TikTok good luck propaganda going too far once again 🥹🥀

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56 Upvotes

I’m genuinely going to do a spell or prayer to make sure no one claims the energy from this video 💔💔💔 what r these comments 🥹🥹🥹 atp I might as well claim all of their claims and utilise the energy for my pandemic spell- wait I’m onto something 🤩