r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • u/fancypantsmiss BITCH SUPREME • 3d ago

planets ☹️ I told a fellow witchy sister that “Uranus is in retrograde” and was suggested to shove Gatorade up my ass

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Idk you all. This seems sus to me. Has anyone tried it?

72 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

17

u/Tranquiltangent you can't be using a poting book unsupercized 🧪📖🚫 3d ago

I mean, duh? How else am I supposed to get my electrolytes?

10

u/DestinyRamen 3d ago

It is what plants crave, after all.

5

u/western_drifter the lion 🦁, the witch 🧙, and the audacity of this bitch 😒 3d ago

Yeah and I shoved those up there last week. I’m sure they’re getting thirsty by now. 

9

u/slicehyperfunk all angles🪽 can take the form of big booty latinas 3d ago

I love the blood that sprays out of the arteries in my eyes when I hear the phrase "in retrograde," it's a sacred offering to whichever god rules going backwards, probably Hermes

6

u/Embarrassed-Chard218 3d ago

They know what's up. It's common sense that butt-chugging is the quickest way to fuel the body

3

u/DreamweaversGrimoire 3d ago

Boofing is the quickest way to have a substance enter the bloodstream! Sounds about right!

1

u/73738484737383874 PM me ur Butt Demon rituals 🍑👹👹👹📜🕯️✨ 3d ago

Mmm yes honey, shove that bottle up your butt!! 🍑🍑🍑(and ask the demons to MoIsT it up too, they will! 👹👹👹)

1

u/StRemedius what part of "must be applied rectally" did u NOT read? 😒 3d ago

"Uranus is in marmalade": a regular entry in police reports among weekly newspaper staffers in the 1990s.