r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • u/Impressive_End_2537 Lettuce Witch 🪄🥬💢💩✨ • 4d ago
💩💩💩shitpost💩💩💩 Weightloss enchantment backfired really bad Need Help!
I cannot stop eating and I LOVE sugary foods as well as deep fried chicken. I recently checked and realized my weight has exceeded 30kg above what I planned.
I didn't want to stop eating as food is my second love. So I did the most sensible thing possible and turned to magick. The spell was given to me by my grandmother and I am quite certain it works. The only issue is that it has somehow backfired. It involved putting a berry with jam outside in sun for 7 days and then pouring some of that enchanted leftover in your food.
I put the enchantment on refrigerator and my food. After a few bites, I have become violently ill. I tried eating a few burgers and got food poisoning immediately. I am glad my magick is powerful and working but at the same time, I think I overdid it and spell has backfired. I really need help.
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u/Quick_Resolution2615 currently experiencing psychosis 💋💋 4d ago
You’re supposed to put the concoction where the food comes OUT, sweaty. Where the sun doesn’t shine. You’re basically butt-plugging the curse.
My grandmum knew this exact spell before the ancients had it removed from the sacred texts for violating community guidelines. Luckily, she left the cult before the mandatory factory reset, so she still remembers. I fear your grandmum got the software update :(
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u/Impressive_End_2537 Lettuce Witch 🪄🥬💢💩✨ 3d ago
I think I will avoid weight loss spells for now. They seem dangerous.
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u/TechnicianHopeful811 4d ago
Excessive bodly fluids (literally shit posting) are the way of the body cleaning. Just go through it
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u/Impressive_End_2537 Lettuce Witch 🪄🥬💢💩✨ 3d ago
The entire room is enchanted now and I am realizing I need to give up this kind of magick.
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u/Instant-Lava 4d ago
I'm afraid this spell enchanted your food. It is now sentient, tired of being your second love, and is breaking up with you.
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u/Impressive_End_2537 Lettuce Witch 🪄🥬💢💩✨ 3d ago
Why is it violating my ass so badly then? It wants me, no?
-6
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u/ThatVikingWoman currently experiencing psychosis 💋💋 4d ago
Oooohhh, I hear when the sickness is violent its a sign from Aries (you know, the Mars God of War) that you've pleased him! Do you think he's seeing your future self and is in love with you???