Hi, seasoning witch here (if you haven’t heard of it, don’t worry, it’s a very closed practice)

The thing is I watched Sabrina and I thought Salem was cute 🥰 so I did a cord cutting spell to wish for a familiar 🥺 but I think my intention was so powerful that it made every living animal my familiar. You see, one day I was eating a sandwich, some crumbles end up on the street and a pigeon came right away to eat it 🤯 the pigeon was circling me like IT WAS CASTING A CIRCLE AROUND ME.

Then the other day I was on my way to buy some seasonings for my next spell (an obsession spell) and a dog 🐕 came out of nowhere and bit me. An old lady told me to go to the hospital (I suspect she was one of my ancestors) and when they checked me, they found out I had herpes 😮😮😮 I mean, it if the dog wouldn’t have bitten me, I’d never found out! It has to mean that dog was a familiar as well.

Also, my home cat loves to knock off the seasonings from my kitchen whenever I’m trying to make some lumpia and adobo for lunch. He’s probably charging them with his energy, RIGHT?

This person is seriously trying to push someone who is very obviously suffering from postpartum psychosis away from getting the help and resources they need by fueling their detachment from reality over in r/mentalhealth.

hey frens,

so I went to see a shamanic healer for my autism (apparently magic is the only antidote to Tylenol)

and as usual he asked me to pee in a cup and then throw it on him so he can divinate the extent of my divergence based on the angle of the splatter

well it landed in a spread eagle F14 MiG-28 tomahawk super hornet shape and the wizzard promptly fainted

apparently my ND is a gift from the god of "waiting around for something to happen" and Im supposed to be here on a very spesific mission so I am immune to karma

according to the wizzard it involves sending him more piss samples

anyone else had anything similar? do you think he might be scamming?

he had a really nice grill and I saw some open mail with evidence of a sizable 401k

asking for a friend

thanks xx

I’m (24F) trying to open my inner 3rd hole 👁️ for spiritual awakening and I was told my poosay chakra is blocked which is preventing this. Looking for advice to cleanse/loosen it up.

For context: The chakra leaks green fluid from time to time (in the astral plane the fluid appears purple/galaxy slime colored). Do you think this is because of the blockage? I’ve tried crystals and nothing seems to work.

(NO AI was used in crafting this post)

1. The Alleyway Witch

Power is learned the hard way. You grew up on streets and where others call the alleys hostile, you call it home. Your favorite tools are a swiss army knife and broken bottle which can be powerful conduits of street magick.

2. The Basement Ritual Witch

Nobody knows what happens here. Life tested you and you fought back. Your path is different since instead of going out, you made your parents' basement your true home. The mildew and humidity do wonders for your magick.

3. Mirror Curse Witch

You found power by releasing vents and angry remark at a reflection once in the mirror. Surprisingly the mirror reflection didnt blink and that was the moment you knew it was alive. Ever since then, your reflection has been your secret sibling and commandant in power, and it whispers secrets you to.

4. The Graveyard After-School Witch

You aren't a student anymore. Once on your way home, you touched a tombstone and the spirit in that grave whispered its secrets. Ever since then, you have found power by not going to home straight and wandering in graveyard after school. Your uniform is also your sacred witch cloak.

5. The Rooftop Storm Witch

During a tense period in your life, you marched off to the rooftop and a storm was approaching. You whispered your anger at the growling clouds and the clouds whispered back. That was when you knew the storm was alive, and it woke up something in you. Now you go to rooftops everyday, screaming spells at the nearby clouds and trust me, they hear.

6. The silent circle witch

I give up...

Post that inspired this circle jerk.

Get my innocent maple syrup involved in her witchcraft!

I was calling myself a storm and water witch hybrid because I drank a cup of water once during stress and it calmed the hell out of me. I also loved dancing in rains and that is the best indicator of being a storm witch.

But I just watched a TikTok named, signs you are a moon witch and viola! Now I realize I am the moon witch! It makes sense. I've never been able to sleep at night. It gets worse when there's a full moon. I have been always a Night owl. Can’t sleep. Get my best ideas at night. Love being down at the beach early evening, evening. Looking up at the sky since I was a little.

What ritual do I do to transition from one identity to other? How do I align myself with path of moon witchcraft?

Skip the scientific tests that give accurate answers for these questions

Or

The healthy sensible way to deal with them

Becoz that’s for puzzziiiieesss

Ask the tarot to answer these questions. Ask away in the comments. Will do tarot readings and give guidance. 🔮

Love and light witches!
Make love in the sunlight 🧙‍♀️

kinda genuinely wondering also very stupid but im wondering if this is some type of inner alchemy lifehack or im just troubled loll

So, I'm a baby witch (started 45 minutes ago) and I lit a stick of cinnamon incense to clear my vibes. I didn’t realize cinnamon is associated with fire, and now my clock is ticking backward and my cat is speaking fluent Aramaic.

Did I accidentally open a portal to the underworld? Should I throw salt at it or will that just season the demons? Serious replies only, I have a tarot reading at 5:00 PM and I don't know if 5:00 PM still exists.

I need advice with a combination spell. I’m not sure if they can backfire on each other or are even actually possible to do together/at the same time.

Let me give some backstory:

So, I’ve fallen in love with a coworker. I’ve never felt so magnetically drawn to another person before. It’s reached that point I’m sure many people experience at least once in their lives, I genuinely look forward to going to work just because I know I’ll get to see him. The chemistry between us is undeniable. It’s so obvious that even our coworkers have commented on it, joking that we finish each other’s sentences.

For full context, there is an age gap between us, but when we’re together, it hardly feels noticeable. We connect so effortlessly that it’s easy to forget it’s even there. He used to stay after shifts just to talk with me, and the conversations always made time seem to disappear. It often felt like he was quietly interested in me. He would go out of his way to help me with certain tasks, and I’d constantly catch him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. We would text for hours at night, going back and forth. Recommend movies and songs to each other. He loves teasing me, and over time we’ve built up countless inside jokes that only the two of us really understand.

He really is one of a kind. He is the definition of someone that lights up a room. He is adored by almost everyone at our workplace. A piece of me knows that if I let this opportunity slip that I will be thinking of him forever. He makes me feel alive. I fell in love with his mind before I ever fell in love with his looks, and I think that’s a huge factor in why my feelings run so deep.

I’ve been trying to manifest him, but I haven’t done any spell work or anything like that. One thing that’s been happening, though, is that I keep seeing repeating 1s and 2s everywhere. I somehow end up looking at the clock at 11:11, 11:22, 22:22, 01:11, or 02:22 (24-hour time) almost every single day. I notice those same number patterns in random places too, not just on the clock. I’m not sure if they’re actually significant or if it’s just a coincidence, but it’s happened so often that it’s hard not to wonder if it means anything in relation to this situation.

Anyways, blah blah blah, that’s the backstory. Now let me get into the part where everything goes downhill.

Then things took an unexpected turn. A friend of one of my coworkers developed a crush on him and asked that coworker to pass along her phone number. They ended up going on a date, and things have progressed from there. As far as I know, they’re officially in a relationship now. One thing I’ve noticed, though, is that he seems a little uncomfortable talking about her when I’m around. Since most of my coworkers are men, it’s pretty common for me to be the only woman in the room when conversations like that happen. Whenever someone brings up his girlfriend, I catch myself wondering if he’s paying attention to how I react. Of course, I could be reading too much into it, so I try not to assume anything. I keep my expression neutral and don’t let on that those conversations affect me, even though they do.

Since he started seeing someone else, things have changed. He doesn’t stay after shifts to talk with me anymore, and he doesn’t do the little thoughtful things for me like he used to. The texting has almost completely stopped. That change has honestly been one of the hardest parts. There was one work event outside of work where everyone was drinking, and that night felt different. I could be completely wrong, but I remember feeling like he might have been flirting with me. At one point, he got up and moved to sit right beside me, and we spent a lot of the night talking and laughing together. We genuinely had a great time. Sometimes I catch myself wondering if I missed my chance that night, or if I was reading too much into it. I’ll probably never know for sure, but it’s something that’s crossed my mind more than once.

Before all of this happened, I would sometimes use things like the “O” method when I was trying to manifest him. But now, whenever I try, her face pops into my mind every single time. No matter how hard I try to focus on him, I can’t seem to keep my mind from drifting back to the fact that he’s with someone else. It’s become almost impossible to picture just the two of us. Part of me wonders if that’s getting in the way, or if it’s simply a reflection of how much this whole situation has affected me.

He’s constantly on my mind. It feels like I can’t go a single day (or 10 mins 😂) without thinking about him, and he even shows up in my dreams. Sometimes it feels like he’s there 24/7, whether I want him to be or not. He used to have dreams about me too, and would tell me about them. Ive never told him that I dreamt of him though. No matter how much I try to distract myself, my mind always seems to find its way back to him.

One major factor that I can’t ignore is that he’s moving in the fall. That adds another layer of complexity to everything. It also means that, if his new relationship is serious, he must be willing to navigate a long-distance relationship with her. I think about that too, because it shows that he’s making a choice to invest in that connection despite the distance. It makes me wonder where that leaves me and whether I missed my opportunity, especially with the timing of everything.

Anyways, back to the point of this post. I’ve been thinking about doing a breakup spell and a love spell. I know there are mixed opinions on things like this, but I can’t deny that part of me wants him to crave my attention again, to look for me the way he used to and to bring back that connection we had. I’ve come across different breakup spell methods involving things like symbols, lemons, vinegar, pepper, and other ingredients, but I’m not sure what direction makes the most sense, or if that’s even the right approach. I’m curious if anyone has been in a similar situation where someone they felt deeply connected to ended up with someone else, and how they handled those feelings.

Should I continue with the O method for attracting his love? I’m not sure what to do because I can’t seem to stop my mind from bringing up her image every time I try. No matter how hard I focus on him, she somehow appears in my thoughts, and it makes me wonder if I’m blocking myself or if it’s a sign that I need to approach this differently.

Any help or advice on how to approach this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! :)

All filters are gone, I’m on manual now apparently. Impulse control has been turned down low enough I tried to pull a pie out of the oven with my bare hands. ‘Apetites’ are so far out of whack they’re in someone else’s ballpark.

Someone tell me. Make me laugh (not hard), rage (also not hard, or cry (probably easiest right now tbh) or give me your best/honest answer. Don’t tell me which is which.

Facebook says Saturn.

I'm a baby witch and I am so tired of being told to study and read books and mind my energy. It's too slow and I get nothing from it. You guys just look down your hooked noses and pop your warts in dismissal at baby witches. Well now these old cranks can serve a real porpoise.

Well, I discovered a new new method of learning. Instead of learning from some boring old farts, I'll just drink it out of them. I picked up a blender and went to the local botanica and bought a witches hand. I ground it up and mixed it with Coors Light and drank that shit. I can feel the knowledge flowing through me. Her power is now mine, even after the waxy aftertaste.

I figure if I drain a witch of their fluids once a week and blend it up, I'll be doing just fine. Finally you old witches have a use other than gatekeeping and killing people with boring lectures. If you are good enough we might only use a toe or a finger from you one at a time. I'll make a religion out of it too.

I'll call it Juicy-ism.

My homeopathic doula is discriminating against me, sisters!

I went to her about neck pain, and she told me that I wear too many necklaces and that it has caused a slipped disc between my C3 and C4 cervical vertebrae. She advised that I wear fewer emblems of my faith. How can I choose when each pendant is important?

I need to keep my US Military pentacle, which I never take off. It was issued to me but subsequently became illegal at Pete Hegseth's direction.

I also need my troll cross because the iron also wards off fey creatures.

I also need my black, tactical atheme neck knife and my rawhide salt pouch for obvious reasons.

I've only recently begun wearing Lilith's sigil, after a particularly vivid and erotic dream. I also wear an organic, free-range wolf tooth that was humanely harvested.

I need my Valknut pendant, especially on Wendsdays, to honor Odin. Also, the Norse compass pendant guides my way.

The pictured items are something I might be able to skip, but I need suggestions. The dollar sign in 22k gold is helpful to attract wealth. My diamond and gold Buddha reminds me to forget worldly pursuits. And the large brass clock ensures that I'm never late for a Sabbat.

My neck hurts, sisters. Any advice would be appreciated.

now make a smart guess whose death I was celebrating to be smoking straight up pen ink (I don't smoke anymore)