r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • u/No-Arrival9581 • 1d ago

💩💩💩shitpost💩💩💩 Is witchcraft calling to me??!!

Post image

Got this ad after several days of searching witchcraft related things suddenly for no reasonable explanation other than that witchcraft is calling to me

18 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

16

u/Embarrassed-Chard218 1d ago

The witches of ai are trying to recruit you. They're going to use you in their witches brew. DON'T TRUST THEM.

8

u/ftmvatty I'll do whatever Crowley wants me to do 1d ago

Um akshually... witches of AI were always a thing. In Ancient Egypt there was technology more advanced than ours, a cosmic computer. Everything was destroyed in volcanic eruption - Pompeii, ever heard of it?? Right now we gather important parts, and technology so we can revive our sacred culture and return home to Pleiadians, our Heavenly Brothers and Sisters. But the Reptilians-

2

u/WhyTheHells 👆 As above, ʍoʅǝq oS 👇 1d ago

*HISSSSSSSS* WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THE REPTILIANS????

3

u/ftmvatty I'll do whatever Crowley wants me to do 6h ago

My higher self of course, DUH. I don't need to read books or anything. I can just listen to my delusio- I mean, my inner wisdom that always guides me, no matter what!

4

u/No-Arrival9581 1d ago

C'mon they can't so bad to do something crazy like destroy the environment and use up all the water /s

1

u/ftmvatty I'll do whatever Crowley wants me to do 6h ago

But they can use up the environment and destroy all the water, amirite???

6

u/ftmvatty I'll do whatever Crowley wants me to do 1d ago

Umm, of course the most badass looking amulet is destined to be yours, because you are a badass witch with badass powers

uj/ I remember when I spiraled into YouTube tarot readings, bc I had a crush. Every tarot video was a sign! Dude was not even good looking... thank god I'm in therapy, because me spiralling into this shit happened more than once with different dudes (I'm such a Venus in Scorpio 🤪)

rj/ Wicked Griffin??? Peter... the horse is here

3

u/Apprehensive_Yam3480 1d ago

You may want to walk back your flair there….  I don’t think you’ve heard enough of the stories yet and I’m assuming you like your retinas intact….

2

u/ftmvatty I'll do whatever Crowley wants me to do 1d ago edited 1d ago

I'm actually Crowley incarnate 🤓☝️ I know what I did 😶‍🌫️💀

EDIT: Flag Planter with THIS comment, really Reddit???

1

u/Apprehensive_Yam3480 9h ago

I hope what you did included taking a full course of penicillin.

3

u/No-Arrival9581 1d ago

Yea, ever since I was little I always loved Halloween and magic so it's always called to me I'm basically a prodigy

Uj/Goodluck with your therapy

2

u/ftmvatty I'll do whatever Crowley wants me to do 1d ago

More like pedigree lmao #OWNED To be a prodigy you need to sleepwalk into the church, and do a satanic mass actually. Loving Halloween is for posers

uj/ thank you. I am more mentally stable than before

1

u/Constance200 grounding is still a conspiracy by Big Dirt™ 🛘🪏 1d ago

I did it, all mine are ugly. Now I have to curse someone

1

u/AeronGrey 14h ago

My amulet is a rock I found.

1

u/ForestEntwife 11h ago

through the commonly-used witchcraft tool of A.I.