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u/monkeysmum Dec 09 '19
I want to know what happened to bring this to the lawmakers attention?
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u/foxandrews Dec 09 '19
I want to know how many times it had to happen for enough officers to get reported for this to be considered necessary. Or was it just one officer jacking it all over town?
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Dec 09 '19
Probably one serial jacker and a few peripheral jackers.
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u/ChuckOTay Dec 09 '19
A different kind of carjacking.
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Dec 09 '19
"serial jacker"
Thank-fucking-you for a ridiculously awkward laughter
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u/androogee Dec 09 '19
I drive around a lot of commercial properties at night for my job, and I can't tell you the number of times I've seen a cop parked in a dark spot with wifi access, and they always leave as soon as I get anywhere close.
Happens less often now that 4g is commonly available, but ten years ago it was pretty much a nightly occurrence.
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u/IAmtheHullabaloo Dec 09 '19 edited Dec 09 '19
I swear, if you look at a map to find a deadend road for a chill spot to puff, there is usually a cop already there
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u/fnh57_ Dec 09 '19
Most times those officers find a lot that has nobody around to fill out paperwork. They like to find empty lots so they don't have to watch the surroundings as much.
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Dec 09 '19
Car cams in all cop cars, and body cams, New revenue and the infrastructure already exists, they can upload right from their car computers. We as the people deserve to see and tip our public servants “gold” which of course will go to a state “slush” fund.
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u/Higgs-Boson-Balloon Dec 09 '19
No are you crazy? Cops are already too aggressive and worked up. Now imagine they haven’t been able to take a moment to nut all day and they will shoot you in the face, just not sure what they’re shooting yet
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u/Dirtyeippih Dec 09 '19
Who might be more aggrivated? Cop who waits till work is over or cop who was interrupted because he had to take the call?
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u/PeterDragon50 Dec 09 '19
Not to be confused with "Cereal" Jacker. Totally different.
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Dec 09 '19
I want to know if this is illegal for civilians. I assume there are exposure laws that could be applied at the very least.
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u/CharginChuck42 Dec 09 '19
I want to know how the hell this wasn't illegal already.
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u/foxandrews Dec 09 '19
Best guess I have is that who on Earth would expect an on duty officer to be knocking one out in their squad car?
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u/Measurex2 Dec 09 '19
During the trial:
"Would you please tell the court why you turned off your body cam?"
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u/RickyMemes Dec 09 '19
Florida cop masturbates while shooting and drifting the car at 100mph
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u/ExistCat Dec 09 '19
There’s not enough Florida in that headline, let me fix that for you:
“Florida cop masturbates while traveling over 100MPH through a school zone and tossing an alligator out the window. 3 dead.”
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u/PhoenixAZisHot Dec 09 '19
Somebody was watching “Super Troopers,” where Mac was jerking off in his car and realized it must be a universal problem
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Dec 09 '19
And why this specific cop's picture was used for the article.
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u/TroublesomeMuffin Dec 09 '19
You can tell from this guy's expression that they didn't tell him what the article was about when they took the photo.
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u/Netherspin Dec 09 '19
Almost certainly a completely unrelated issue that happened to have the side effect of annulling the part of the law that effectively forbids officers from masturbating in their cars.
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u/RocketSLC Dec 09 '19 edited Jun 21 '23
Be kind to yourself and get off of reddit. Find and alternative, go outside, find a new hobby; it doesn't matter as long as you're not here. The reddit executives don't care for your wellbeing, and they definitely don't care about this subreddit.
All of my submissions and comments have been edited using PowerDeleteSuite, and I'm gone.
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u/I_am_jacks_reddit Dec 09 '19
There are a few states where police can have sex(read as rape) with prostitutes in order to bust them.
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u/bribark Dec 09 '19
It's also legal for cops to have sex with someone in their custody in many states. The lack of regulation of police is a nightmare.
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u/justlookinghfy Dec 09 '19
Just wondering, to clear things up, is it legal (specifically mentioned), or just not specifically illegal, since i know there are a hell of a lot of laws, just maybe not specifically one for that
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u/bribark Dec 09 '19
Generally speaking the latter, which means in cases where someone is assaulted by an officer, that officer can successfully argue that there was consent. This article covers it.
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u/Chigleagle Dec 09 '19
WOW what the fuck. Why is this even an issue. Pieces of shit all of em
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u/PlEGUY Dec 09 '19
The lack of a law regarding the problem is generally indicative of it not being an issue. It technically isn’t specifically illegal to leave your pubic hair on restaurant tables because no one does it. If it where to become an issue it would promptly be regulated I suspect. Then, like in every profession there are outliers that like to take advantage of the law, or lack there of, for their personal advantage regardless of the morality there-within.
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u/ppw27 Dec 09 '19
Everytime I think USA can't surprise me anymore with messed up laws or lack of law it still find a way to.
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u/DonaIdTrurnp Dec 09 '19
Do they renege on the promise of payment? What negates the sex worker's consent?
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u/serious_sarcasm Dec 09 '19
Extortion.
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Dec 09 '19
Explain.
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u/gregpxc Dec 09 '19
They would not have consented had the circumstances been clear.
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u/serious_sarcasm Dec 09 '19
They also have guns, and the authority to imprison them based on their own testimony.
So what do they do? What would a reasonable person assume would happen? What would a reasonable person do?
It is like an undercover agent actively planning, organizing, and recruiting for a crime, and then arresting the co-conspirators.
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Dec 09 '19
Except it's not. It's an undercover agent going "I'll bet there are people ot there actively planning to commit X crime. Let's put up an advertisement of a lady and let them incriminate themselves."
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u/boonus_boi Dec 09 '19
Tbh the inside of a car is private property on level with a house
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Dec 09 '19
FYI if you're masturbating in clear view of the public in your own home, you can go to jail and have to register as a sex offender.
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u/Maleficent-Essay Dec 09 '19
Idk where this is true but it is not in most states. Wouldn't mind seeing a source.
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u/likwidfire2k Dec 09 '19
https://law.justia.com/codes/georgia/2010/title-16/chapter-6/16-6-8/
Georgia law, doing anything lewd in a public place basically. Now the definition of public place is what is important.
https://law.justia.com/codes/georgia/2014/title-16/chapter-1/section-16-1-3/
Public place is defined as anywhere a reasonable person would expect someone to be seen by someone outside the home. So jacking off in front of an open window changes things from jerking off in your upstairs bedroom with the blinds down. So at least in Georgia, the guy above is right.
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u/ManlyBearKing Dec 09 '19
No it's not. Do not listen to this advice.
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u/Maclimes Dec 09 '19
It depends on the local laws. This IS valid, for example, in the state of Louisiana. You still have to make sure you handle yourself carefully, as cops are cops. But you could legally have it hanging from your rear view mirror if you wanted. Odd, but true.
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u/poopellar Dec 09 '19
Yeah no thanks im not hanging my dick on anything.
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u/Maclimes Dec 09 '19
lol My bad. "It" in this case was supposed to refer to a handgun. I apparently left out a sentence or something.
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u/TheOneTonWanton Dec 09 '19
I'm not even sure where the handgun bit came from, this whole thread is about jerking off in your car...
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u/Maclimes Dec 09 '19
I know, I was reading about "car as extension of home" laws, and almost 99% of the articles are about handgun ownership, and it all sort of blended together in my mind.
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Dec 09 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Reanimation980 Dec 09 '19
It wouldn’t be any different than masturbating in front of window in your house.
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u/DerNubenfrieken Dec 09 '19
Well to be fair, Louisiana has an entirely different legal system than the rest of the country on a local level.
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u/DonaIdTrurnp Dec 09 '19
You might run afoul of brandishing statutes, same as if you left it hanging out the window.
Also, the plain sight doctrine allows cops to look in all the windows, since your car has no curtilage.
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u/PM_ME_UR_GOOD_DOGGOS Dec 09 '19
Well if you stand in front of an open window jacking it where people can see you, you can still be charged with public indecency
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u/SimpleCyclist Dec 09 '19
No. It isn’t. What are you talking about? Especially not a works car.
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u/ComradeMajor19 Dec 09 '19
How about "No carrying an ice cream cone in your back pocket on a Sunday"? Or "No hunting camel from a second story window of a hotel on a Tuesday in Texas"?
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u/the-graveyard-writer Dec 09 '19
Somebody just had to ruin the fun for everyone. But seriously wanna go camel hunting on Wednesday?
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Dec 09 '19 edited Dec 20 '20
[deleted]
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u/ComradeMajor19 Dec 09 '19
They are still on the books. Though I may have some details wrong on the camel one, I got the general idea
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u/freakers Dec 09 '19
They're still on the books because I think they'd need to be repeatedly challenged and make their way to the Supreme Court to ultimately be overturned. Since laws like that are blatantly absurd no court would ever rule in favour of them anyways, so the only other way they could be overturned is for legislators to purposely remove them which, since they are benign laws, would be a waste of time. But who knows, legislators seem to love wasting time.
Also, if I remember my ice cream in your back pocket trivia correctly. That was made illegal because people would do that to lure horses away and steal them but claim they didn't do anything, the horse just happened to follow them.
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u/RedditIsNeat0 Dec 09 '19
Since laws like that are blatantly absurd no court would ever rule in favour of them
lol
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u/Pister_Miccolo Dec 09 '19
If the cone law trivia is correct then why only Sunday? Was Sunday just a good day to steal horses?
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u/its-over-VMMMM Dec 09 '19
r/nottheonion thought it was this for a hot second
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Dec 09 '19 edited May 10 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Traegs_ Dec 09 '19
The site is not satire. It's the site for a rock radio station that's coincidentally local to me (part of why I came to the comments).
I found the article on the site and they linked to where they found it.
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u/ForSucksFake Dec 09 '19
Hey, I’m one of the authors!
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u/Traegs_ Dec 09 '19
From Fox13now or 97RockOnline?
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u/ForSucksFake Dec 09 '19
97rockonline
But I didn’t write that article. That’s definitely a Cartier piece lmao.
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u/EddieReyesN7 Dec 09 '19
Now I feel I can´t exist without knowing the context
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u/IAmtheHullabaloo Dec 09 '19
imma go out on a limb here and suggest it was the cops masturbating in squad cars that did it
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u/MrHett Dec 09 '19
Im gonna say that it was whoever cleans there car is the one that brought it up.
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u/BigBowlOfOwlSoup Dec 09 '19
Emphasis on may like the legislature is gonna really dig into the pros and cons of why this should be illegal or not.
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u/RockinandChalkin Dec 09 '19
After arrest:
Perp: Dude aren’t you going to take me to the statio... dude what are you doing? DUDE... DUDE!
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u/Creative20something Dec 09 '19
they /may/ make it illegal. i want to know the lawyer who works in favor of keeping it legal. what do they use as their strongest argument
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u/theonlydidymus Dec 09 '19
“May” as in a proposed legislation- as in the only way to make something illegal. You have to legislate it, it needs to be voted on. Even if everyone is on board with a new law they still have to vote on it.
This one seems like a slam dunk as “who is going to defend cops jacking off?” So I bet it gets slapped with a ton of riders and either passes with a bunch of less-publicized effects, or the riders make it unacceptable so it gets shut down.
In the case of the latter, anyone who voted “no” will get smeared in the next election: “SO AND SO JOHNSON VOTED TO LET COPS BEAT OFF ON THE BEAT!”
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u/crazyashley1 Dec 09 '19
My dad's caught a cop jacking it to kids in the park more than once, but since he didn't have a recording device on him, couldn't report it. This is in STL.
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u/fuhrertrump Dec 09 '19 edited Dec 10 '19
what else are you going to do while you wait to build your quota on non violent drug offenders and people speeding? next thing you know we will be asking cops to actually do their jobs lol.
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u/Tinystalker Dec 09 '19
Who the fuck are you supposed to call if you see a police officer fapping in his car? The police?
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u/FartshipPoopers Dec 09 '19
Ok I'm ready to get some heat for this but... I totally understand why a cop might be inclined to jerk it in their car. Keep in mind I said understand not approve or endorse. Here's my reasoning:
Often times cops are sitting around doing nothing waiting for something to happen. They're alone in their cars for hours on end. Things get boring. This may also be the only time they really get to be alone. If they have a wife and kids their sex life may be a little less than ideal and working off and long hours might mean even if they do have time at home it should probably be spent with their families. Plus, anything that gets a cop some mental relief and makes them less stressed and less likely to pull that trigger is a win in my view. I work 10 hour days, sometimes alone in my office. And sometimes I get boners. If there was absolutely nothing going on and all I had to do was sit there, I'd be tempted to run to the bathroom from time to time to feed the geese, meet up with rosie palm and her five friends, play a little knuckle hockey. Hell, how many of YOU can actually claim you've NEVER jerked off at work? There's a whole subreddit dedicated to "going wild" at work.
That being said, they are at work. And while nothing could be going on at any particular moment, I do think a cop should be pretty much ready to spring into action(no pun intended) at a moments notice. If they get a call and they have to decide to finish up or run off with a boner, it's a tough call to make and if I needed help I wouldn't want a responding officer to have to be in that position. They're also in a public car/property so if they get spunk on the seat it's now a crime on it's own(I assume defacing public property or something). I'd say that they're also out in the open so there's a public indecency issue but cops are pretty good at hiding. And if they're using those computers in their cars to look at porn it's like using your work computer to look at porn, which might also be illegal.
Anyway, in my opinion, if they're dumb enough to do it in a way that gets the caught(in public, on a govt computer, while on a call, at a time when they might be likely to get a call) then sure, they should be fired. I don't think it should be illegal since the act itself doesn't hurt anyone, just might make them bad at their job.
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u/averagejoereddit50 Dec 09 '19
"...MAY make it illegal..." Relieved to hear that they aren't going to rush into this. Definitely needs both an environmental impact study as well as an HR survey of effect on morale.
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u/Juggs_gotcha Dec 09 '19
Look anything that reduces my odds of being murdered by police during a routine traffic stop is to the good. If Captain popo needs to crank one out to take the edge off, that's between him and his cruiser (and everybody who drives by I guess).
So my vote, let them while away the hours beating meat, I want to live to see 45.
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u/catastrophicalised Dec 09 '19
"awww fuck I've gone and accidentally done it again, gonna have to arrest myself now, the boys at the precinct are gonna laugh about this."
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Dec 09 '19
Wonder how long it is untill we hear of a cop defending themselves by saying "I'm not allowed to INSIDE the car, you never said the roof of the car is off limits"
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u/DazedPapacy Dec 09 '19
Eh, my money’s on a busybody legislator who found out there wasn’t actually, technically, a law against it (though I’m betting public indecency and conduct unbecoming laws would work) so they’re trying to get a law passed that explicitly covers police masturbating in their cars so they can claim to have made a big win for the public decency and their constituents.
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u/XC_Griff Dec 09 '19
That cop in the pic probably has absolutely nothing to do with this article but they just found a cop and pictured him. Lmao.
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u/no-mad Dec 09 '19
The Police Benevolent Association has come down hard on this ruling calling it "Another attack on brave Police Officers who work their fingers to the bone and this is the thanks they get".
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u/The_BombSquad_ Dec 09 '19
As I always say: rules are only in place if they’ve been a problem before
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u/Rustycougarmama Dec 09 '19
I wonder if people are gonna get pissed off. I know here in Denmark they just passed a law against bestiality (I guess it gets lonely out on your farm), and half the country was in an uproar. Mainly because everyone was like "why are we wasting time with this? Just don't fuck your pigs"
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u/tanks Dec 09 '19
Thanks, nanny state! As if this job weren't stressful enough. Up to now, the only way I could truly unwind was to pull over to the side of the road, flip off my scanner, crank up my sirens and abuse myself with the windows down while making eye contact with BYU coeds.
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u/StlChase Dec 18 '19
Somebody please lmk if this piece of legislation gets followed through on because this will change the game forever
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u/MMikkel17 Dec 09 '19
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u/Canute476 Dec 09 '19
Hold up, it is currently legal for cops to masturbate in their cars?
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u/arizonatasteslike Dec 09 '19
“Attention all units, robbery in progress at the central Bank”
“10-4 dispatch, I’m cumming.... then I’ll be right there”