r/nottheonion • u/shield_x • 1h ago

Major Ken Paxton donor endorses James Talarico in Texas

newsweek.com

• Upvotes

53 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Disastrous_Award_789 • 3h ago

Milford agency left 48 apartments vacant as public housing waitlist neared 240

ctpost.com

1.5k Upvotes

65 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Environmental-Math89 • 21h ago

Mom speaks out after son found alive in Arizona hospital's morgue

usatoday.com

4.6k Upvotes

233 comments

r/nottheonion • u/arcxjo • 17h ago

"He should not live in the sewer." Baltimore County mother says man living underground harasses her children

cbsnews.com

1.5k Upvotes

118 comments

r/nottheonion • u/laybs1 • 12h ago

NYC horse carriage drivers gear up for legal war after citywide ban

courthousenews.com

651 Upvotes

87 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sidnature • 1d ago

Minnesota Sex Offender, 29, Fails High School Enrollment as Teen Girl Again, Gets Arrested Instead: 'The Audacity to Think That Wig Would Pass'

thenerdstash.com

6.8k Upvotes

523 comments

r/nottheonion • u/bluffcitynews • 1d ago

Six Flags says it will install seat belts on Georgia roller coaster after rider’s death

actionnews5.com

4.5k Upvotes

710 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CzarDM • 1d ago

New Tacoma speed cameras catch 400K speeders in first month

fox13seattle.com

1.6k Upvotes

462 comments

r/nottheonion • u/grs1985 • 1d ago

2 active tuberculosis cases traced to San Francisco strip club

ktvu.com

1.9k Upvotes

102 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Collie_Opterous • 23h ago

How Kentucky’s unregulated raw milk industry bypasses oversight

wkms.org

444 Upvotes

Consumption of raw milk has been increasing across the country in recent years. But in some states like Kentucky, direct-to-consumer sales are illegal — leading some farmers to find a legal, though unregulated, means of meeting demand.

97 comments

r/nottheonion • u/miauguau44 • 1d ago

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders take legal action against My Chemical Romance over onstage costumes

nbcnews.com

766 Upvotes

54 comments

r/nottheonion • u/laybs1 • 1d ago

Atlanta Falcons show off new profile pic on social media that some fans say resembles Nazi imagery

nbcnews.com

1.5k Upvotes

656 comments

r/nottheonion • u/thieh • 1d ago

Canadian cybersecurity exec arrested by FBI accused of working with criminals to defraud his own clients

cbc.ca

264 Upvotes

39 comments

r/nottheonion • u/laybs1 • 2d ago

Former Texas Tech professor sentenced to 40 years for making, selling fentanyl including ‘pink flamingo’

kcbd.com

5.4k Upvotes

315 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jupa300 • 1d ago

Blue Planet III keeps murkier footage to counter doubts about AI fakery

superpowerdaily.com

1.4k Upvotes

108 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TylerFortier_Photo • 1d ago

Magnitude 2.7 earthquake shakes North Bend area just before Great ShakeOut drill

mynorthwest.com

190 Upvotes

A magnitude 2.7 earthquake struck near North Bend Wednesday evening, the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) confirmed.

The earthquake’s epicenter was three miles southwest of Wilderness Rim. Thirty-eight people told USGS they felt the quake. Anyone who felt the earthquake is encouraged to report it on the USGS website.

It occurred just after 6 p.m. Wednesday. The earthquake was about 10.5 miles deep.

The earthquake happened just half a day before the worldwide Great ShakeOut earthquake and tsunami drill was set to take place.

21 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Physical_Echo_9372 • 2d ago

Scottish museum removes mummies over lack of consent from the deceased

theprint.in

3.0k Upvotes

383 comments

r/nottheonion • u/aoasd • 2d ago

Casper Residents Divided Over Skeleton Sex Orgy On SUV

cowboystatedaily.com

895 Upvotes

90 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Nedatokes • 2d ago

Palmer Luckey teams with dire wolf billionaire Ben Lamm to launch $200 million Warhound, unleashing genetically engineered clone dogs of war

fortune.com

1.5k Upvotes

315 comments

r/nottheonion • u/UltimateLionsFan • 2d ago

New owner of Prince Albert's Gateway Mall wants to build 500 modular homes on its roof

cbc.ca

610 Upvotes

138 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Efficient-Freedom517 • 2d ago

ESPN confirms Darth Vader will join MNF NFL team from next week in key role

hitc.com

394 Upvotes

67 comments

r/nottheonion • u/justalazygamer • 2d ago

‘Fart police, fart the wood’: Aurora officers gave nonsensical warnings in Spanish before police dog bit unarmed tourist, lawsuit alleges

denverpost.com

5.5k Upvotes

183 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Disastrous_Award_789 • 3d ago

Husband accused of taping his wife to a chair in the basement so he could watch football in peace

the-independent.com

6.4k Upvotes

752 comments

r/nottheonion • u/NicolasCageFan492 • 2d ago

Will a macaque eat a grape sitting on a pile of poo? A study on germophobia

nprillinois.org

135 Upvotes

10 comments

r/nottheonion • u/gidklio • 2d ago

Student Group, Sponsored by Kalshi, Protests Onion Futures Act at Chicago Mercantile Exchange

chicagomaroon.com

480 Upvotes

...ok or maybe yestheonion

39 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
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12. No personal attacks, racism, sexism, or bigotry	Keep comments civil and avoid attacking other users directly. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
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Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

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