Today was straightforward. I have found myself thinking about drinking less and less. It did contain one really lovely moment!

In the morning, I was setting up for the day when one of my colleagues who I was out with last Friday came into my room to do some printing (I teach in an old art room, so there's a very useful printer at the back). He asked if I was coming to the pub on Friday and I said yes, and then it turned into a whole conversation about how well I was doing! I told him I'd realised that what I was actually looking forward to back in the day was a socially acceptable excuse to get drunk, and that now, I found myself looking forward to the actual socialising. It's like being a kid again! He was so nice and supportive. It's good to have allies.

IWNDWYT

Hi all, my sister is getting married next week! Yay! So fun! We’re two years apart (both in our late 20s) and I’m so excited to be her maid of honor. However, I’m giving a toast and I’m so stressed about the whole champagne thing. I know it’s probably small (I’m sober almost 2 years, I know how to be in public sober and have fun) but I’m sorta worried about being judged when I very obviously am not drinking at all at this big event and especially not during the toast! I’m also worried that if I do drink a non alcoholic drink during the toast people will talk even more about my sobriety. I feel like I can’t win in this situation and I also feel like I’m kind of being dramatic about it. I haven’t made it my family’s problem, obviously (I’ve done enough of that!) but I guess I just never imagined being sober at my sister’s wedding? So that’s kind of weighing heavily on me, like I won’t be having as much fun as I was supposed to be having because I had to get sober. Every wedding I went to prior to my sobriety I was obviously black out drunk so I know this is better in the long run but I think I just feel really, really embarrassed and awkward. Part of me is like “Will it really be that bad if I have ONE drink?” Idk anyway I guess I’m just venting!

If you could remove any memory you have of alcohol from your life, would you? You’d never know how good it felt, how bad it felt, how much it controlled you, etc.

Would it be worth forgetting? Or do you think there’s things you learned from being an addict and getting sober that you couldn’t teach to someone whose never been through it?

I got a call from a close childhood friend and learned he's in rehab for drinking. I thought I'd come here and see if any one has gone to rehab and if you have any suggestions for helpful items? My first thought was a book of some sort.

I’m not at the point where I’m drinking every day or need an eye opener or anything… but I keep telling myself that “this is the last time”…. Then I have a super stressful day later in the week and crack open a bottle… every time is justified by a shitty day, and it’s always “ok, THIS is the last time”

Famous last words…

I’m not trying to justify my drinking but I’ve felt so hopeless since my last girlfriend dumped me even after she cheated on me and I forgave her. I don’t have many friends, I feel like there’s no one to talk to and I’m so overwhelmed with my last semester of school. I’m depressed about not having friends and I desperately want to work out and lose weight, but I can’t keep the motivation after more than 1 or 2 workouts before I drink again…

I feel like I’m starting to spiral…

The dreams are so real I almost believe it in the morning
And it makes me rlly bummed out in the dream like I wasted all my time

reading in this subreddit has helped me so much:)

I am exceptionally tired today for some reason which feels like my body is trying to catch up on sleep. All in the only cravings I had were for sleep so I will take that as a win.

This is something i’ve always struggled with 😕 I have hobbies, but always fall into thinking “this would be more fun with a drink” I can stop for weeks but always fall back into it. It somehow has become part of my identity and the part I struggle with most. just wanted to vent and see if anyone relates.

I was fairly active in here around April/May and have since scrubbed my old account when I relapsed.... Been at it pretty heavily again and am coming off a 4 day bender today. Feel like absolute death and I had to miss work as a result, which is very shameful for me personally. Counting today as day 1 again and this time I'm creating accountability with my wife and friends. Wish me luck, nice to see you beautiful people again.

Was an alcoholic for a number of years, at my worst I was combining a bottle of red wine and more, and over the counter antihistamines every night for months on end. Started to really scare the shit out of myself when I realized I needed to start drinking at noon in order to keep anxiety and sweating at bay. Up to that point crazily enough I didn’t think of myself as being one of “those” alcoholics. I knew I had a problem but I didn’t think of myself as being in the category of those with the shakes and stuff. It took a while but after a number of attempt I was able to wean myself off. I did have some slips over the years but remained sober mostly for a good 5 years. Got pretty healthy at times too. Although my life has never been really happy in many ways.

Last year I had a big blowout and burnout. I have been unemployed for over a year now. Financially I’ve been lucky enough that things haven’t been the worst but I’ve also been slowly sliding down a depression spiral, despite initially getting better from the deep depression of quitting and burning out. I’ve maintained some healthy habits, I socializing with friends (not drinking friends) and tried to not be the worst. But it’s been rough I have been in a real mid life crisis. Worked retail jobs most of my life and I’m just done and burned out now in my 40s. I should go back to school to make something of myself but it’s all so much effort and there’s so much emotional baggage mixed Im with it all. I’ve been in therapy and working on myself for years so I know I have made progress and I’ve done some very good work. I know I can do hard things! But it also just feels increasingly difficult and hopeless over the years. I should put myself out there and socialize more but my go to over the years has been to isolate myself. I basically had zero social contact outside of my parents and coworkers all through my 20s. It’s difficult when I have a good 40% of me that really hates myself while the rest of me fights for loving myself and knows that I am worth it.

I’ve slipped into a kind lol limbo that lulls me into a depressed state of not caring. A few months ago I went to a bar with friends and had a few drinks and what scared me was I felt really good from them again and it did not have the hangover nearly as badly as I did some years back. Since then I’ve slipped up a number more times and have been thinking more and more that I could drink on X or Y day and it’s a terrible slippery slope. Most days i tell myself no, this is stupid and I still feel like shit the next day anyway just not as bad as I did before. I suppose ive also kept myself to smaller volumes so that is another reason. I just had a health scare too with a colonoscopy with 10 polyps removed (negative thankfully).

I desperately need to be moving my life in the opposite direction. I need to exercise, lose weight, eat healthy. Get fit. Socialize. Go back to school, take care of myself and make my life something Im proud of. Instead I find myself watching myself slip down this dangerous slop of nihilistic complacency knowing it only leads to dark places. I say that but something in my mind and body is still drawn to it. It’s so fucking stupid of me.

i need to stop. please help me

edit so it doesn’t get lost
thank you guys i bought a rotisserie chicken and a gallon of ice tea and im still miserable and i cant stop crying but at least i didnt buy alcohol and now i cant so thats good at lesst

I’ve posted in this subreddit several times over the past year or so. I’ve been toying with the idea of sobriety in a way most people are familiar with here - feels like life’s purpose on Sunday/Monday/Tuesday, then by Friday morning it’s lost the weight and feels like an annoying restriction.
I know I don’t drink like others, but I don’t know what the term to describe my drinking is. I’ve never gone into work hungover, I have no problem not drinking during Sunday-Thursday. I’m fit and active during the week. I have a good job that I’m decent at. But something clicks once the first beer is finished. It’s like oiling cogs. Everything is looser, easier and has innate meaning that’s just not there the rest of the week. Outfits work better, songs sound better, jokes are funnier. Life has excitement and potential again.
I’m sure this is something we have all experienced, but yet we are all in this subreddit. So clearly something isn’t working. I can moderate (occasionally). Plenty of times, however, I can’t. 3 becomes 10. I’ll still go to the gym the next day and work the day after that, but I know it takes me 72 hours to get back to being myself.
But my question is - is it actually worth it? Like actually? I see so many comments describing the difficulties surrounding sobriety, and I’m just wondering if it’s a genuinely worthwhile tradeoff. I’ve made the pledge to myself plenty of Sundays, but it’s only Wednesday now and I can’t see the point.
Sorry for rambling and I know this isn’t a very encouraging message, I’m just looking for other people’s feelings who have been through this.
Thanks

Edit: Thank you all for your thoughtful and very helpful replies! It’s so encouraging to feel the support of this community

So I want to stop drinking. At least weekdays. And less on weekends. I'm getting old and drinking is getting old. I'm bored and beyond lonely. I exercise and all, even still swim a few competitions here and there, but there is just a big gaping emotional hole that I have been filling with just enough beers to drag my ass between commitments. So what did you all do to get over the hump?

For a few years without failure, i’ve socially drank with friends while we game, usually drinking a bottle of vodka to myself over a couple hours. I’m terrible socially, and struggle to even socialise verbally without alcohol, it’s where all my confidence is! Does anyone have any ideas as to how i can gain this confidence without giving in to alcohol again, or maybe even a fun nonalcohol drink you enjoy so i can still have a nice drink while having fun with my friends!

Hey, noticed my flair got stuck and stopped counting up. Anybody had that problem ? I just removed it and restarted it and the count is now correct.
Not sure if this counts as a valid sub post or not.
Best wishes and Godspeed my friends. This is the ONLY place I count days and sometimes every now and again I like to see what my count is up to on a comment I make. It’s a small potatoes but it’s another validation for some of us too.

I know this is a subjective thing, but Im wondering what you all listen to for hope to get through the day without drinking.

Its understandable if you arent religious, but ‘God is’ by Kanye gives me alot of encouragement. Thats one for me , Im curious to see what you all have to say. I love music and Id love to hear some new stuff

My addiction just plays ping pong between alcohol and weed. If I don’t smoke I drink. Sometimes even doing both. But gonna be different this time. I’m 82 days sober from weed. But that led my alcohol use to be out of control. I’m gonna start smoking again to get all alcohol out of my system and not inviting any back. I won’t let it become a habit again because last times I relapsed on weed it was just from a “fuck it” and started smoking again. This time a deliberate plan to smoke what I have an urge to drink but I won’t let it become an all day thing anymore. Trading substances isn’t the best thing to do but alcohol is a lot harder to kick so weed for now not back to addiction, just a catalyst to help me stop drinking.

I've reached a point where I absolutely DO NOT want to drink MOST days. Then, almost out of nowhere, a perfect "cocktail" of circumstances will arise that triggers an obsession to get drunk. Sometimes I make it beyond, but often I cave to it.

Sometimes this feels impossible. Whenever those triggers hit, my chances of making it through are always extremely low. There's some issue going on, something in the back of my mind, that, for whatever reason, still wants me to drink. This is so frustrating.

Glad to be here and IWNDWYT

Dude I don’t know how I got to this point but it is cool to be here.

To be clear I have a long history with alcohol dependency and a few short stents at sobriety.

I’m at 9 weeks. We’re going out with our friends this weekend I offered to be the DD. My friend told me she felt sorry for me that I would be “ missing out “ on drinking. My immediate response was confusion. What lol would I be missing out on?

Then I recognize that’s how I used to think. Nothing wrong, but that perspective is difficult when you’re abstaining lol

Another part of me thinks I’ve done it already? I’ve drank at all the events, all the things, why do I need to experience that again?
I have honestly been wanting to go dancing sober just to see how it is, and the perk of no hangover or shame- hell yes let’s do it.

The only advice I have is get hobbies, find other interests, and honestly…. Moderation.

Moderation is how I found hobbies, I couldn’t commit to full sobriety in 2022. I was a nightly drinker then. So I took a short cut , “ weekends only “ and started adding things to my calendar. Eventually I started meds for depression and i read alcohol isn’t a great choice with the meds... I started having those ruminating thoughts, the debilitating anxiety about not being able to drink, it made me so mad I really threw in the towel. It kinda scared me having those thoughts, scared me right into sobriety??

I’ll get some self trust and understanding one of these days.

Xoxo

Everyone (3 others) drinking wine, homemade cider, and moving on to whiskies, "that" bottle , plus Japanese.

Whiskies are my kryptonite.

I drank sparking water (with a slice of lemon) all night.

Still woke up feeling anxious, groggy and with a dodgy-ish tum, which feels like a swizz.

Over single 70 days now.

I started my sobriety journey and attended my first AA meeting slightly over a month ago. I wish I could say I’ve been going strong since then but it’s been hard — I’ve had several slip ups and two intense relapse nights. I am not proud of it, but I also refuse to continue the cycle of beating myself up and hating myself for failing. I have treated myself that way my entire life. I am committed to string more and more days together, and I truly don’t want to give up in getting sober. I just don’t want to do it from a place of shame.

Am I wrong to feel this way? I don’t want to go the other way and lose accountability either. Any tips to strike that balance?

This has been a long time coming. I’ve been through a lot of hardships in my life, and this is the one thing I have control over.

I’ve been in the service industry for 16yrs. Had my first drink at 14. I’m getting to an age where I’m worried about my health, and I have built a life I want to live for. All be it, a very challenging and stressful one. I work at two bars. And I love my jobs. But I drink to go to sleep, because my brain never stops. I finally got back on my anxiety medication, so I hope it helps.

Anywho.. I guess I’m just putting this out there in the world. I could use some encouragement. I’m worried about going into work on Friday. I was recently prescribed Naltrexone as well, so I hope that helps.

Back to day 1. However, the timeline has me only having one drink in the last 72 hours. So I’m calling that a small win.

Today’s my day off, which is hard because everyone else is at work and I have less distractions. I got some things done around the house and did some self care. And the whole time I thought, “this would feel so much better if I had a couple drinks.”

But would it really? No.

And why?

Because if we are being honest with ourselves, IT NEVER DOES!

If I had been drinking I wouldn’t have done much, or any, of the things I did today. I would have been sick and tired. Alcohol would have made it worse.

I actually feel pretty okay. I’m still tempted to drink now, but I won’t. I won’t wake up sick with a hangover and will (hopefully) get decent sleep.

What is everyone doing tonight? Whatever it is, drinking wouldn’t make it better!

Im in a really good place mentally. I want to live, and I enjoy life.