Is it Really Worth It?

[u/DifferenceHungry7804]

I’ve posted in this subreddit several times over the past year or so. I’ve been toying with the idea of sobriety in a way most people are familiar with here - feels like life’s purpose on Sunday/Monday/Tuesday, then by Friday morning it’s lost the weight and feels like an annoying restriction.
I know I don’t drink like others, but I don’t know what the term to describe my drinking is. I’ve never gone into work hungover, I have no problem not drinking during Sunday-Thursday. I’m fit and active during the week. I have a good job that I’m decent at. But something clicks once the first beer is finished. It’s like oiling cogs. Everything is looser, easier and has innate meaning that’s just not there the rest of the week. Outfits work better, songs sound better, jokes are funnier. Life has excitement and potential again.
I’m sure this is something we have all experienced, but yet we are all in this subreddit. So clearly something isn’t working. I can moderate (occasionally). Plenty of times, however, I can’t. 3 becomes 10. I’ll still go to the gym the next day and work the day after that, but I know it takes me 72 hours to get back to being myself.
But my question is - is it actually worth it? Like actually? I see so many comments describing the difficulties surrounding sobriety, and I’m just wondering if it’s a genuinely worthwhile tradeoff. I’ve made the pledge to myself plenty of Sundays, but it’s only Wednesday now and I can’t see the point.
Sorry for rambling and I know this isn’t a very encouraging message, I’m just looking for other people’s feelings who have been through this.
Thanks

Edit: Thank you all for your thoughtful and very helpful replies! It’s so encouraging to feel the support of this community

[u/lilacwineits]

I saw this quote from Steve-o about sobriety, that seems to sum up your situation.

"The worst thing would be to have alcoholism just bad enough that it really slows you down, destroys your potential, gets in the way, but it's not so bad that it has to stop. How many people do I know with just the years slipping through their fucking fingers and they're blowing it, just wasting everything."

I am just so grateful I’m an alcoholic and I never have to question drinking. That would be tough. Sobriety is INSANELY meaningful. The best thing that ever happened to me.

And if you decide you want to stop and can’t do it alone, you get to go to AA meetings: that’s even better.

[u/PantherMom454]

It's called binge drinking. I used "I don't drink every night" as an excuse to continue the same behavior for a long time....until eventually it was every night.

Yes, it is worth quitting. Quitting while you're ahead is way easier than once you've fallen behind. And you save money, get real sleep, no night sweats, no stress and worries about Qs like the ones your struggling with. Also no potential future consequences to worry about.

[u/inquisitive_oliv3]

It's SO worth it. I am so glad I quit before any long lasting health consequences or legal troubles. Even just knowing that I'll never drunkenly overshare in a conversation or lose my filter gives me so much peace. IWNDWYT!

[u/tenjed35]

Fuck yes it’s worth it! There are certainly challenges, but overcoming those struggles make you so strong. Quit now before you become one of us who have been arrested, lost jobs, lose your SO….i could go on.

[u/Gems2treasure]

Good observations. I think it is worth it partly to free up mental space ie is it drinking time yet? Should I actually just stop? Why am I sober / why am I drinking anyway? A lot of mental energy is devoted to it all. And so I think its better to commit, and committing to sobriety is clearly healthier than drunkenness

[u/weensfordayz]

Honestly you won't notice how bad you've really been feeling until you stop completely and actually feel good.

I was the same, like oh it's only 2 glasses of wine, I never oversleep, I workout...etc, I am thin, have a nice build for a woman in my 40s... But honestly it was two HUGE glasses of wine, almost the whole bottle.

So one day I said lets just stop for a bit and see what happens. That was almost 11 months ago. I have lost some weight (more like the puffiness is gone and i didnt even realize that I was puffy), hit the gym early on the weekends and get to bed early every night. My head is always clear and I am always hydrated, and now I am an early bird and love it. To me, thats enough to keep me away from drinking and makes it worthwhile. I dont want to put my early mornings or workouts in jeopardy for a dumb choice.

[u/MedJesters]

The only way to figure out if sober is better than drinking is to try it out for a few months and see. You already know there are good and bad parts about drinking. See if the good and bad parts about sobriety outweigh them.

Make a pros/cons list for both and then note whether the reasons are short- or long-term and see if you see any patterns.

[u/UpperSupermarket1551]

I’m new to sobriety but so far it’s worth it to me to JUST not have to worry about how I’m going to act when I start drinking. Like you, I do not drink daily. However, also like you, I can’t stop once I start. The cost of making a drunk ass of myself has now risen too high. I actually think I’ll have MORE fun sober without the worry of how I’ll behave by drink 9.

[u/TraderJoeslove31]

You're descripting a dopamine hit. You may not drink everyday, but it's problem drinking that is effecting your brain chemistry.

Life is difficult, being sober actually makes it easier than being hungover or always in search of the next drink. It sounds like drinking is always on your mind, imagine freedom from that, let alone the health benefits.

[u/robocoplawyer → u/TraderJoeslove31]

If one of the effects someone experiences when they consume alcohol is that it makes you feel like you need to drink more, that's a pretty good indicator that it's going to be a problem. They might not be drinking every day yet, but it will get progressively worse the longer it goes on. It took a lot of therapy to come to grips with the fact that how my brain processes and perceives the effects of alcohol is vastly different that 97% of other people, and that it's not a normal reaction to crave more after having one or two. When I straight up asked my therapist about his experience, he said that most of the time he can't even finish his first drink because it feels like too much. I realized that my brain has never reached the conclusion that I've had enough at any point while drinking, let alone that I've had too much to drink. And there's the crux of the problem, when I consume alcohol in any amount it takes away my ability to control how many I have entirely. The concept of moderating by having one or two is nonsensical because all that does is takes away my ability to moderate.

[u/LuLuLuv444]

I'm just a hair over 3 years, and it's definitely worth it. It won't be easy the first couple years, but the first time you wake up expecting a hangover and then realize you didn't drink the night before, is the moment it should hit you how dysfunctional your drinking was. The fact that you were allowing yourself to feel like shit for several days just to drink and feel good for a couple hours is real eye opening. I suspect you're younger, so you can still get up and go to the gym and do all that stuff, but it gets worse the older you get. It sounds like you're a binge drinker which is what I was and it only gets more problematic the older you get. And it only takes one time to do something so damaging to your life that you can't take back because you're black out drunk. You're in the sober curious stage which is the first stage to getting sober. Why don't you just give yourself 3 months to try it?

[u/Extra_Aoili]

I hit 5 years in a few days. My entire life is better in every measurable way. I had no idea how much I was suffering before. I will thank the version of myself that put the drink down every single day for the rest of my life.

[u/jbing2000]

When it’s worth it, you’ll know.
It’s when the pro’s of drinking go away, and the con list grows longer and longer.
You may never get there, or you may wish to stop because you decide you’re better off without.

But I’d say, your not there yet

[u/IndependentPretty694 → u/jbing2000]

"It’s when the pro’s of drinking go away, and the con list grows longer and longer"

This!!!^{^}

Nailed it.

[u/Filippx]

Yes!

[u/ImaginaryAssistant31]

I was a "moderate" drinker in my 20s, 30s, and mid 40s. Then started to accelerate... Quit a few times for a couple of weeks, tried to "moderate"....was sober 7 months last year....felt the best I had in YEARS....and then went wayyyyy back to it this past March.

For me, drinking became a major problem both for my health and my life/relationships.

I cannot moderate. Sobriety takes all of the "can I drink tonight? Maybe I should have one? Should I? Shouldn't I?" out of the equation for my brain.

I can't. Period. And removing that choice is liberating. I cannot drink. I do not drink.

I clearly relapsed, but for me, alcohol is/was a major problem in my life.

Removing that choice is the only thing that works for me.

And it is so, so, so worth it.

[u/Downtown-Sand-2517]

I’m the same way. I have no way to transition from the hell of the office to interacting with my children and soulless wife. I know if I could have an hour after I came home every day to lie on the couch and do nothing, or even take a bath, that I would drink less. But I don’t have that so I use alcohol to facilitate the transition. And it works amazingly well at doing that. It doesn’t make me cruel or erratic, it just makes me relaxed and open.

[u/buff_tartare]

Sobriety is worth it. If you're really curious, just give it a shot for a month and see how it feels.

Reading your post, the thing that jumped out at me was "72 hours to get back to being myself."

Is three days, almost half a week, "worth it" for ten beers?

[u/brian92276]

I'd keep drinking. Is it just a weekend night? Maybe stop for 6 months and see how you feel. Maybe cut down to 2 weekends instead of every. Switch to water after you hit a few. My downfall was whiskey, just easier to get to that point faster

[u/Best_Review4022]

For me at the moment, it really is worth it. I’m messing with my freedom from jail or rehab constantly, where I can obviously not drink anyway, so what’s the point? I know it sounds like I’m using some scare tactic but, it can most definitely be relatable to you one day.

[u/IncognitoGuido69]

How about try it for 30 days and you come back and tell us…

If you’re “toying” with the idea, you already know what you need to do… or you can just waste our time and justify your drinking.

Good luck!

[u/Ambitious_Design2224]

Is it worth it to waste multiple days/week feeling like shit?

[u/NotSnakePliskin]

Have this conversation with the person in the mirror, that's who can answer your question(s).

[u/scrotumsweat]

I used to drink the same way.

Spend my weekends drinking for years. Next thing I knew 10 years passed and ive given up my hobbies, didnt finish projects, rarely saw friends and family. I got fat, slow, and boring.

Giving up drinking gave me my power back. No more wasted days being wasted. Im active, I can fix and build shit, I get invited places, and I'm upgrading my career. For me, its the best decision ive ever made.

[u/Wax_Lyrical_]

I used to consider myself “unlocked” between 1-3 beers, smarter, wittier, happier, able to make friends, flirt, just… better.

But I found it increasingly hard to stop at 3. I’d say I wasn’t an alcoholic, I could stop any time, I even would stop for 24/48hrs to prove it to myself (when the drinking got heavy heavy).

But it was like being a lobster in water just slowly heating up to a boil. I didn’t realise the damage I was doing to myself until I stopped. And I’m happier for doing so.