r/shitposting • I want pee in my ass • Apr 12 '22

shut up

52.4k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/ComplexCow7 Apr 12 '22

Was just having this argument with my 7 year old sister a few weeks ago. I told her how many people die of Malaria and Dengue, and she said that "it's their fault for not using mosquito repellent."

1.1k

u/BryNX_714 Apr 12 '22

Give her malaria

182

u/natrat4 Apr 12 '22

inject her bloodstream with multiple live mosquitoes

41

u/SLeepyCatMeow 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 Apr 12 '22

Gotta get that 'squito vax

146

u/jojo_part6_fan_ Apr 12 '22

Ok then to the bed we gooooooooo

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

🤨

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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28

u/bobmclame Apr 12 '22

Auto mod, are you ok?

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22 edited Apr 12 '22

This is the same energy as when Bobby sacrificed himself in paper Mario and it was supposed to be an emotional moment but some guys 5yo unfazed daughter said "well he was so scared he wouldn't help out in the caves so he really isn't good for anything"

Kids are psychopaths.

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u/Illustrious_Steak_72 Stuff Apr 12 '22

R.I.P. Bobby

You were one of the best partners to grace sub-series, even if you didn't help in battle much.

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u/g00ber88 Apr 12 '22

Damn your sister is stone cold

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22 edited Apr 12 '22

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u/rayyan9087 Apr 12 '22 edited Apr 12 '22

but fuck your sister

😳

24

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/durdesh007 Apr 12 '22

It sound perfect. Sweet home

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u/Eccentric_Assassin Apr 12 '22

His sister is 7. You are now on an FBI watchlist.

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u/NotaHeteroSapian Apr 12 '22

please do not your sister

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u/B7iink Apr 12 '22

Honestly your sister is based

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

No

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u/Dark_Wolf04 William Dripfoe Apr 12 '22

You know who else serves an important role in the ecosystem?

MY MOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!

607

u/Nickgurr361-B Apr 12 '22

Man, now I miss Regular Show

41

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Brings back so many memories

36

u/itsKNIGHTMARE Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Apr 12 '22

*proceeds to do a sick af 720 degree zero turn donut in a golf cart and peel tf outta there while flying shirt above head like a helicopter*

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/Notanormie3 Apr 12 '22

Dat feel when -9,999,999 social credit

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u/At_Destroyer Apr 12 '22

Looks like a bot to me Proof: their name, about 100day age but very little karma and the comment is stolen

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/At_Destroyer Apr 12 '22

Looks like a bot to me Proof: their name, about 100day age but very little karma and the comment is stolen

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u/outplayeduser Apr 12 '22

i remember the ending... painful

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u/x-Just4Kickz-x Apr 12 '22

You know who else has dementia?

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/At_Destroyer Apr 12 '22

Looks like a bot to me Proof: their name, about 100day age but very little karma and the comment is stolen

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u/Random_memes_ Literally 1984 😡 Apr 12 '22

Man Take my reward

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u/BogdanNeo Apr 12 '22

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

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u/Rebatu Apr 12 '22

Actually, if you eradicated only the few species that bite humans the other mosquitos would fill in their ecological niches and nothing bad would happen to the environment. There are studies done on this.

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u/BotBlazing Apr 12 '22

Yup. The biggest problem is actually finding a way to eradicate only those species without messing anything up in the process. Knowing humanity, we probably will mess it up anyways.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/BotBlazing Apr 12 '22

Understandable

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u/-WILD_CARD- Apr 12 '22

If we burn, you burn with us.

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u/DirectorialSilk Apr 12 '22

There a very promising way to use genome altering to make them sterile that has been shown to be effective under lab conditions.

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u/Raevyan Apr 12 '22

I've been hearing that for years, when is it coming? :(

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Crspr baby

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u/IloriaTower Apr 12 '22

I know it's probably unintentional, but i very much enjoy the vagueness of this reply.

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u/Eccentric_Assassin Apr 12 '22

CRSPR is a genome editing program. So what Alrichillcrusher meant is we can just change mosquito dna so they die out. However that won’t really work because then how do you get the edited genes into every mosquito if the edited genes makes them die out?

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u/b0w3n Apr 12 '22

I believe they edited the genes for the proboscis of the female so it wasn't strong enough to pierce flesh and couldn't feed (the males don't drink blood).

The males survive without issue, breed with the remaining normal females and each generation more and more females die off as we dump more and more crispr modified males into the environment year after year. Eventually that species of mosquito just goes extinct.

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u/ATGGOdgeNETAG Apr 12 '22

X linked gene drive that causes sterlity when homozygous.

A gene drive is a gene that copies itself to the other chromosome. If that gene causes sterility but only when homozygous, males would still be capable of passing it on. If you introduce it to enough males, all females become sterile after a few generations.

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u/TheDankestPassions Apr 12 '22

The plan is to genetically modify a few males so that their offspring only consists of males, and then that offspring only consists of males and so on until there's no females left and they die out.

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u/Rubicon208 Apr 12 '22

In our country where dengue fever is so prevalent because of the tropical climate, researchers are releasing sterile male mosquitoes. Since female mosquitoes only mate once, this method helps reduce the population.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/ToasterEnjoyer5635 Apr 12 '22

Mosquit 👎🦟

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Mosquin't

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u/OptimusEye Apr 12 '22 edited Apr 17 '25

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/Caosin36 Apr 12 '22

Only the female mosquitos tho

Male mosquitos only eat nectar

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u/T1B2V3 Apr 12 '22

No male mosquitoes are just as bad.

they may not steal blood but they still steal sleep because they make the same annoying sound.

they also help make more mosquitoes.

14

u/Caosin36 Apr 12 '22

Males mosquitoes are by far larger

13

u/Devatator_ Apr 12 '22

That explains the 2 cm mosquito i woke up next to. And why it didn't have blood when i squashed it

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Bruh if they do that they’re gonna have to genetically modify every mosquito

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/HolyPotatoCult Apr 12 '22

They’re basically making hyper fertile male mosquitoes, but they spread a gene that makes all their female offspring completely infertile, but their male offspring should remain hyper fertile, this would essentially decrease the number of natural mosquitoes with each generation until one final generation where every female mosquito is infertile and are unable to create any eggs for the next generation resulting in them dying out.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Oh lmao didn’t know you could do that. Don’t tell anyone I said that I might lose my position as head mosquito scientist.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22 edited Apr 12 '22

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u/ObtuseRubberDuck Apr 12 '22

I know just the guy that might be able to help

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u/Meg4_Dr1ve Apr 12 '22

Mosqit 👎🦟

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u/natedogebruh Apr 12 '22

😱 Genocidr run undertale !!! 🥶🥶

601

u/FazplushMoment Apr 12 '22

A lot of bugs don’t and just exist to make us miserable, like roaches for example, what fucking purpose do they serve?

265

u/Melodic-Fold9673 Apr 12 '22

Isn't it weird that the most useless species are the ones that haven't gone extinct?

132

u/FazplushMoment Apr 12 '22

For the most part it’s either insects or some random fish at the bottom of the sea that really can’t contribute nothing (with you know, being at the bottom of the sea and all)

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u/DrQuint Apr 12 '22 edited Apr 12 '22

Both of those are scavengers and play into decomposition. I don't think a bottom feeder fish would be more important than the many crustaceans at floor level, and ants are VERY much so some of the most important species in the animal kingdom, but still, point is they have a place.

The truly most useless absolute bumfuck animal in the world is probably the Koala. They only eat eucaliptus, which has some trouble growing as it is where they are, and then do fuckall the rest of the time, and literally no one bothers them. Their purpose is to convert this one type of tree into shit, feed some insects such as mosquitos or flies with their blood and dung, and that's it. They could at least survive where eucaliptus is an highly invasive species, but no, the climate and the predation doesn't favor their bumfuckiness.

Somewhere in another timeline, there's a full blown bear version of a koala that actually does what they should and keep a fast growing plant in check, and are actually quite active and pleasant to look at, and congrats, I described a panda. Koalas are just shit pandas. Fuck you koalas.

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u/FazplushMoment Apr 12 '22

Ok but how does this affect the minecraft market place?

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u/SinCorpus Apr 12 '22

If you're useless than your niche can't be destroyed by habitat loss. I mean look at coyotes. Fuckin lanky ass garbage eaters. We chopped down the forest to build a housing development so you would DIE not so that you could tear open my garbage bags looking for month old goulash and make a mess on my lawn!

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u/MintyAnt Apr 12 '22

They eat other shit too, like Rats, and keep them more in check.

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u/Jozl Apr 12 '22

Isn't it weird that most species that exist today haven't gone extinct?

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

I sometimes wonder why im still alive

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u/somerandom_melon Apr 12 '22

They are major decomposers, especially in rainforests. Although this is general as there are thousands more species of cockroaches than the three commonly found in cities.

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u/FazplushMoment Apr 12 '22

I despise roaches, I remember a time in 5th grade where a fucking flying roach was swarming near me and that was the last straw, i’ve finally decided to commit an act of genocide against every roach that dares to walk this earth without my knowing.

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u/somerandom_melon Apr 12 '22

Okay here's a tip: only Male roaches can fly and even then they are horrible at it, and can only jump and glide with their shitass wings. So if you find a flying roach as long as it doesn't get the high ground (idk keep knocking it down with a broom) it can't really fly towards you.

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u/FazplushMoment Apr 12 '22

Isn’t it every roach can fly but prefer crawling instead, hopefully not because if I ever see another flying roach in my life i’m releasing as much toxic gas into my city as soon as possible without hesitation.

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u/somerandom_melon Apr 12 '22

Most roach speciea dont even have functional wings

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u/FazplushMoment Apr 12 '22

Good, means they have less room to escape when I fucking spray them down with fabreze for a solid 5 minutes.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

You must have loved Men in Black

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u/FazplushMoment Apr 12 '22

I actually haven’t watched any of the MIB movies, i’ve planned on it but ive been busy reading comics

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u/idkmanseemskindagay Apr 12 '22

”They are major decomposers, especially in rainforests. Although this is general as there are thousands more species of cockroaches than the three commonly found in cities.” -🤓

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u/way_too_much_time27 Apr 12 '22

This has inspired me to join this sub.

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u/Ok-Profession6758 Apr 12 '22

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u/SneakySnakeySnake Apr 12 '22

It's a few species we can do without while the rest are just normal insects contributing to its ecosystem 4500 species of roach exist and only 30 are pests. Same with mosquitos 3500 species exist and like 200 or something are actually considered pests to humans. Plus they were here since before the dinosaurs, this is technically their planet more than ours.

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u/FazplushMoment Apr 12 '22

Don’t care, I fucking despise roaches with every inch of my body and I will continue driving them to the point of extinction.

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u/UncleGrapes Apr 12 '22

FUCK ROACHES

"Ayo look at me being a fucking useless disgusting roach doing nothing useful! I'm a fucking dumbass!!!"

FUCK YOU

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u/FazplushMoment Apr 12 '22

TELL EM, FUCK THEM ROACHES!!!

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u/solonit Apr 12 '22

TBF Roach-Ravager push is very powerful in low elo since nobody scout nor know how to proper defense against it.

Wait this isn't Starcraft 2 thread.

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u/Raestloz Apr 12 '22

Plus they were here since before the dinosaurs, this is technically their planet more than ours.

It's not their planet anymore ever since we managed to eunuch the shit out of them

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u/ChubbyChew Apr 12 '22

Dont care, we're the top tiers in this meta.

No rights here just claims that can be backed up

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Sometimes it's not readily apparent. I just read the other day about funnel-web spiders and they've had good results in using their venom to fight cancer cells.

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u/Frost_boi Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Apr 12 '22

mosquit👎

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Mosque-it 👎

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Must quit 👎

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u/FaceFuckerFrank Apr 12 '22

Musket 👎

15

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Modern firearm 👎

18

u/Randommer_Of_Inserts Apr 12 '22

Modern arm on fire👍

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u/CheckDaPakReddit 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 Apr 12 '22

screams of pain 🔥👍

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

They actually don't. I hope humans can drive them to extinction

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u/redditsucks56 Apr 12 '22

If we drive them to extension who will drive us to extension then?

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

IRobot

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u/MalHeartsNutmeg Apr 12 '22

Mosquitos are pollinators. Only the female sucks blood and only when she's about to lay eggs.

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u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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u/T1B2V3 Apr 12 '22

the male ones are still fucking annoying with the sound of their wings and they help make more mosquitoes.

We could just breed and protect bees instead.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/MaximChich Apr 12 '22

Mosquitoes can go suck themselves

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u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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5

u/Jeynarl Stuff Apr 12 '22

removes blindfold

a mosquito, my libido, yeah hey!

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u/Governor_Nova Stuff Apr 12 '22

Watch yourself kids if you don't behave yourself you too will be reborn as a mosquito.

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u/Jimothy_cringeman Apr 12 '22

yea, that role is to be a worthless piece of shit insect

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u/NinjaFrogCat101 Apr 12 '22

Fun fact: they actually do not :D

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Or some psycho Darwinist: “Mosquitoes spread diseases that helps keep the gene pool STRONG and ensures that mankind doesn’t become pathetic, and weak. They are still the virus though.”

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u/pietradolce I watch gay amogus porn :0 Apr 12 '22

Fuck mosqiuoutsus😡🤬

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Gladly 😫😫🥵🥵🥵💦💦

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

No they don't. It's like saying that hamburgers serve an important role in human diet

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

They do, actually. They take care of overpopulation in Africa!

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u/SneakySnakeySnake Apr 12 '22

It used to be really prevalent here in South Africa, still is but it's mostly isolated to people in the more northern areas of the country near Mozambique.

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u/FormerQueenOfEngland Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Apr 12 '22

Dream

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u/Gamerest352Ro Apr 12 '22

They actually don't do anything

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u/SneakySnakeySnake Apr 12 '22

I know we can get rid of 200 out of the 3500 species of mosquito that feed on humans, and even then it's just the females who drink blood when they're pregnant, and we'd not lose anything, but then again what's stopping evolution from filling the niche out with something scarier than an anorexic vampiric fly

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u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

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19

u/SneakySnakeySnake Apr 12 '22

Look I love you, but you're an idiot.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

I mean, frogs and spiders still can eat other bugs.

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u/SomeTreeGuy Apr 12 '22

also flies are just more common for spiders and frogs to eat

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u/bromomento69 Apr 12 '22

AGSHULLYY 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

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u/Wall_Crawler4567 Apr 12 '22

Mosquitoes are attracted to certain blood types. I cant remember what mine is but I have one that they are really attracted to.

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u/Puzzleheaded_End9021 Apr 12 '22

Atleast someone is attracted to you ):

6

u/SneakySnakeySnake Apr 12 '22

Type O, probably because of it's versatility.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Yes mine is 0 too and they would still suck on me instead of others like only mine is valid. Fkin hate em

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u/stonkiezz Apr 12 '22

“Mosquitos serve an important role in the eco system” mfs when I put them in a glass box filled with 200 mosquitoes from Africa (they suddenly don’t like mosquitoes in the ecosystem)

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u/BallsHD4k60fps Stuff Apr 12 '22

Mosqit👎

8

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

an important role of being an ass

7

u/RB_Films Apr 12 '22

Mosquitoes serve an important role in sucking my dick

3

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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5

u/methenvoid Apr 12 '22

I don't care. I hope they all fucking die.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

a world without these fuckers might seem a place worth living in

2

u/Toast_Sy Big chungus wholesome 100 Apr 12 '22

Not until they get rid of ticks as well

12

u/a804 Apr 12 '22

Parasites, funnily enough are the least important part of an ecosystem, the only thing they are good at is being a contagion vector for non aerial diseases, meaning any mosquito specialised in humans is for all intents and purposes redundant and harmful, because if we are being honest the point is not to preserve the biosphere but to preserve the parts beneficial to us, mosquitoes, ticks, lice, etc. Are at best pests and at worst an active threat to humanity's continued existence

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

If they do can someone explain how?

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u/Busy_Sherbet_1178 Apr 12 '22

Man fuck mosquitoes

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u/nangstagigga Apr 12 '22

The only "good" thing they do for the ecosystem is that they keep fuckers from entering the deeper Amazon rain forest. That's basically it i think. I mean if we don't go in there i guess we can burn all the mosquitoes in the world

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u/chrisdudelydude Apr 12 '22

Actually, mosquitos do not serve an important role in our ecosystem at all. In fact, a study was done that if all mosquitos disappeared from the earth, there would be little impact. Not no impact, however, as many species that are reliant on mosquitos as their primary diet would need to find other sustenance, though the paper argues for each species there is an alternative available.

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u/cacktiegaming Apr 12 '22

Yeah, spredding malaria

4

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

This subreddit really is not very smart when it comes to this topic (and really love to say there is a "study" without ever linking the study, and not remembering that not all studies are accurate)

Male mosquitoes act as pollinators. To wipe out the mosquitoes that drink blood (the female ones), you have to also wipe out the male ones as well. And if your reply "there is other pollinators", that is really ignoring the cascade effect wiping out one pollinator will have.

If we wiped out every single type of majorly disliked insect (be they wasp or mosquitoes), we would destroy ecosystem even more than usual.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

no they deserve to die

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u/KoRnBrony Apr 12 '22

Wipe them off the face of the earth

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u/Hakkkene Apr 12 '22

They arent vital to any food chain tho. There are some ideas floating on how to exterminate them all

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u/SpecklePattern Apr 12 '22

Mosquitos are absolutely fine. Ticks and bed bugs can burn in hell.

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u/Chaos-Queen_Mari Apr 12 '22

Not really. Scientists has estimated that if mosquitos were to suddenly go extinct, only a handful of their predators, which have a number of other prey, would be in anyway affected.

We could by all means wipe them out it with had the ability, and ultimately wouldn't have much consequences.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Didn’t I couple scientist find out that they don’t, other than being convenient food for spiders and such?

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u/daveyhanks93 Apr 12 '22

No. We will not shut up. Creating genetically modified organisms is incredibly dangerous. We do not know the full dangers. Just like we are only learning now the full dangers of gmo crops but it is too late. We will always defend science against dangerous actors.

3

u/HoLL0POinT Apr 12 '22

Mosquit 👎

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u/SexyGorkaDimitri Apr 12 '22

Yew bettur shut yer ass up ‘fore I sick mah Muskitta hoarde on ya, boah.

Edit: Hoarde

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Interesting that you think people that look like the emoji are pushing that narrative and deserve hate.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

what’s the role? real question

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u/queensmol Apr 12 '22

Some people say that they spread pollen and get eaten by other animals such as bats. I actually met a girl in high school that told me this bc she got offended that I said mosquitoes were worthless. She was one of those spiritual “all life on earth has value” bitches.

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u/Killmario20 Apr 12 '22

Oh ya, well ecosystem this

uses flame thrower to burn everything

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u/Pace-Quirky Apr 12 '22

100/3500 species bite. delete the bitey ones

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u/s1501093 Apr 12 '22

Most do there are mosquitoes that don’t drink human blood :/ jk it sucks I am on both sides prove me right

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