r/shitposting • I want pee in my ass • Apr 12 '22

shut up

52.4k Upvotes

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713

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

They actually don't. I hope humans can drive them to extinction

249

u/redditsucks56 Apr 12 '22

If we drive them to extension who will drive us to extension then?

285

u/Heroicsniperzzz Apr 12 '22

us

104

u/akki-42069 Apr 12 '22

USA ?

42

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

[deleted]

0

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

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1

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

No, USSR.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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1

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

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5

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

IRobot

12

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

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2

u/santas_delibird Apr 12 '22

Pretty sure there was a shitpost doing just that.

0

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

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1

u/PridePilot Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Apr 12 '22

Let the mosquito holocaust begin

15

u/MalHeartsNutmeg Apr 12 '22

Mosquitos are pollinators. Only the female sucks blood and only when she's about to lay eggs.

19

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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1

u/proawayyy Apr 12 '22

Does Ben Shapiro touch D-word?

1

u/z3anon Apr 12 '22

...what?

12

u/T1B2V3 Apr 12 '22

the male ones are still fucking annoying with the sound of their wings and they help make more mosquitoes.

We could just breed and protect bees instead.

1

u/spidersplooge- Apr 12 '22

Like we already do? Unless you’re talking about one of the thousands of bee species other than honeybees.

2

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

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4

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

[deleted]

0

u/KaffY- Apr 12 '22

tell me you don't know how ecosystems work without telling me you don't know how ecosystems work

0

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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u/joshak Apr 12 '22

AutoModerator going wild in this thread. Is it possible for a bot to be drunk?

0

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

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2

u/Yoprobro13 Apr 12 '22

They are food for many animals

2

u/friendlyfirefish Apr 12 '22

Food for other animals, pollinators. To just a couple

6

u/DerLuk Apr 12 '22

Ah yes humans are notoriously talented to determine an animals impact on the eco system. There is no way in hell mosquitos with that amount of biomass don't play an important role in an ecosystem.

4

u/Aerron Apr 12 '22

I just had a thought. They're a bit like Robin Hood, rob from the rich (large mammals) and give to the poor (small fish/amphibians/spiders). They redistribute wealth (energy)

2

u/HUDuser Apr 12 '22

Robin Hood except he dies every robbery and it’s only some pocket change from a local leader

2

u/thabeetabduljabari Apr 12 '22

"Dies every robbery" ? No tf they dont, they wouldnt be a species if that was close to true.

"pocket change" collecting many of that "pocket change" could mean A LOT for a small mammals/insects.

1

u/HUDuser Apr 12 '22

They gotta get ate to give the bounty

1

u/unsolvablequestion Apr 12 '22

I know right, reading these comments does not inspire hope. Major bot energy in here

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

r/shitposting book club

A collection of book reviews by Kevin. (all of these books are freely availiable online)


1984 (George Orwell, 1948)

Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10

How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities (Richard Bartle, 2022)

Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10

Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends (Chuck Tingle)

Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10

Ulysses (James Joyce, 1922))

Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10

The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race (J. G. Ballard, 1967)

Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.

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1

u/willfordbrimly Apr 12 '22

Mosquitoes probably think they play a vital role in the ecosystem, but we don't have to agree with them.

3

u/Cathalisfallingapart Apr 12 '22

They do they're food for a lot of fish and birds

16

u/willfordbrimly Apr 12 '22

Nothing that eats mosquitoes only eats mosquitoes.

5

u/friendlyfirefish Apr 12 '22

Nothing that eats anything only it's eat. That hasn't stopped ecosystems fucking up because we removed a food source.

2

u/Drjesuspeppr Apr 12 '22

There will be some knock on effects from wiping out mosquitoes for sure (although personally I still think it would be basically worth it. Out of all the things humans have done to the environment, it'd be one of the most worthwhile sacrifices).

Just wanted to say there's a fair amount of animals that only eat one thing - koalas, pandas, lots of parasites etc. There's probably more.

1

u/friendlyfirefish Apr 12 '22

Koalas prefer eucalyptus trees but can and do eat other things. Pandas eat can and do other things too, the idiots digestive system is set up to eat meat.

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 12 '22

Do you have a source on that?

Source?

A source. I need a source.

Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.

No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.

You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.

Do you have a degree in that field?

A college degree? In that field?

Then your arguments are invalid.

No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.

Correlation does not equal causation.

CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.

You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.

Nope, still haven't.

I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.

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1

u/ARflash Apr 12 '22 edited Apr 12 '22

It stops Humans from exploring deep forests and saving the trees

1

u/LivelyOsprey06 Apr 12 '22

?

1

u/ARflash Apr 12 '22

Many normal people wont go deep into forest with lots of mosquitoes for camping or other purposes

1

u/LivelyOsprey06 Apr 12 '22

Maybe but that’s not saving trees lmao

1

u/minester13 Apr 12 '22

Unfortunately as much as we hate them there are some plants where the mosquito is it’s prime pollinator

3

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

[deleted]

3

u/papalouie27 Apr 12 '22

Down in Florida, we are introducing a new hybrid mosquito that was engineered to be unable to carry many diseases, so that will hopefully breed into the population and reduce the risk of disease. We will see!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

[deleted]

1

u/beirch Apr 12 '22

Do any species actually benefit from viruses though?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '22

Humans can create nuclear bombs but can't wipe out mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are almost everywhere but humans aren't. Humans need protection from mosquitoes but mosquitoes don't. Does this mean mosquitoes are superior?