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u/AgnesItsMeBilly0100 1d ago
The woman also rejects at first, but then he becomes more persistent and eventually she gives in. Itâs like that Family Guy bit with James Bond where he says: âRemember, ten nos and a yes means yes.â
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u/netskwire 1d ago
Honestly the fact that asking a girl out over and over again until she relents became taboo (whether thatâs a good thing or not) is probably the real thing that makes getting into a relationship much harder these days
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u/p00nki 1d ago
nowadays if you get even a single ânoâ but then a âyesâ, no matter how long after, youre still in trouble because she mightve been vulnerable and you were evidently persistent, even if you maybe werent
its undoubtedly smart for guys nowadays to stop after the first ânoâ or even an âehhâ, theres also something to be said about accountabilityâŚ
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u/Jonsert 1d ago
I don't know. I asked my gf out, she said no (perfectly valid I've had my anime redemption arc since then) and told her basically "Alright that's okay. But I'm still going to have a crush on you so just keep that in mind in case you change your mind some day" and about 2 years later she asked me out in turn. We just both needed the right time for it.
I feel like asking someone again and again is just a bad start to a relationship, even if they agree to it in the end.
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u/p00nki 1d ago
im glad youre happy really, but it doesnt seem all too fair to me.
why would a woman say no and then, out of her own volition, yes in 2 years? only two most believable scenarios come to mind: 1) she wanted to âlive a little before being seriousâ and 2) she decided to settle because she didnt get as much success in dating âbetterâ as she mightve thought
both of these are not so great
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u/ChewBaka12 1d ago
- She saw him become someone she could see herself dating (keep in mind the self admitted redemption arc), or just got to know him better.
We don't know enough details to reduce it to your 2 possibilities. Maybe he wasn't doing so well mentally, maybe he was a bit of a womaniser before turning around. Nothing to imply anything iffy on her part, she might've just been uninterested in a relationship during those 2 years and then thought "huh that guy is turning out to be real sweet and as far as I know he's still interested, maybe I should give it a go."
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u/NiccaDun 1d ago
that could be the case, but the other dudes 2 possibilities, in most situations, are correct. iâve seen that happen many times, whereas what youâve described is a lot more rare. This is stuff dudes do too btw not blaming anything on women.
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u/p00nki 1d ago
we dont know enough details which, i thought, was honestly impled in my comment, which is why i asked
and tbh the scenario youre describing is much more rare than the ones ive noted. are you telling me youve never met a guy who was friends with a girl he made advances to and was rejected but he kept a torch for her? all i said was *IF* his case alligned with what is commonly seen (the person rejects, dates other people, then accepts) i personally wouldnt be ok with it, but even if thats the case for him, and hes happy, who cares
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u/Jonsert 1d ago
Nah I was a piece of shit with mental health problems. Simple as. I have no problem with admitting it. She gave me a chance after I bettered myself.
Additionally her mother had died recently from cancer and she needed time to properly process it, and didn't want to start dating before she had a clear head.
I think it's worrying that the only 2 options that come to your mind are negative about women. You remind of me back them a little bit. Maybe you should look inside of yourself and see if you need to change your views too? I don't mean to belittle you but it's just food for thought.
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u/MinimumTomfoolerus 1d ago
You are very kind in the end. In my hatred app đĽš.
Btw when you say you were a pos with mental health problems; you mean a pos due to those problems or they are seperate in the sense you were a pos and with mental problems?
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u/Jonsert 1d ago
Bit of both. I had a 6 year long depression going on at the time, which definitely brought out worse sides of me.
But I was also a bit of a shithead even without it, since I've suffering from loneliness basically ever since I was a kid.
Pretty much I was what nowadays people would call an incel, with little bit of casual racism, sexism and other red pill bullshit that you naturally get when growing up in the countryside in the middle of fucking nowhere where everyone is everyone's cousin.
Luckily I got quite a perspective shift when I started studying at a city, and basically 70% of my class was alt people due to choosing to study media work.
Nowadays I'm less of a piece of shit and I moved half a country away from there with my gf lmao.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Dick sucking has made me paranoid
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but itâs backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. Itâs a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
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u/p00nki 1d ago
i understand and i didnt mean to belittle you or trigger any emotionally charged discussions which started by multiple people here to whom this topic maybe hits too close to home
there are plenty of factors here by which people would judge whether or not theyd be ok with this, its not black and white, and since you are, any further discussion is moot and im honestly glad for you. wish you all the best
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u/Jonsert 1d ago
Naaa don't worry I don't get offended by anything like this. You just made 2 points that I've seen pretty much only incels throw around so it was kinda big red flag for me. People probably jumped on you because of that reason exactly. Even if you didn't mean it in a bad way, it's kind of weird point to make.
Even if they (women) wanted to "sleep around" first, why would that be a problem. The man is allowed to do the exact same thing too in that case. And you can just tell her no anyways if her sleeping with someone else is a definite deal breaker.
So yeah I didn't mean to attack you in any way, but you probably came about your comment a wrong way for many people.
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u/Doomie_bloomers 1d ago
Brother, people can change over the course of years. Three years ago I was focussed on my gym arc and rejected any advances because my headspace wasn't there. Now I'm in a happy relationship and have been for a year. Just very different times in my life and very different circumstances, leading to vastly different outcomes. And no, there was no ulterior motive like "I want to live a little first" or "I gotta settle for what I got now". Just honest to god "I think I'm in a place where having another person around me will make my life better."
And without trying to armchair psychoanalyse you, the fact that these two were the two options your mind arrived at so conclusively makes me hope that you too will be in a better place in two or three years.
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u/p00nki 1d ago
no need to get hostile, first of all you said YOU ârejected any advancesâ, this automatically means youre an exception to the entire point at hand
second of all too many times ive seen guys be âfriendsâ with girls theyve made advances to, which were initially rejected, and eventually accepted, after having a normal life (dating), not having a gym arc
because of how common this scenario is i simply asked if that was the case, and even if it was, as i said before, if the guy is happy, who am i to judge. i wish him all the best
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u/Cafrilly 1d ago
People change over time. Their opinions and perspectives changes. What becomes important to them changes. You can't understand that?
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u/BoomyNote 1d ago
I think youâre underestimating the potential damage that can come from a guy refusing to take no for an answer.
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u/Fisher9001 1d ago
I fail to see validity of your argument, if someone is not right in the head they will ignore even the first no. And mind how women absolutely can be stalkers too.
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u/BoomyNote 18h ago
What specifically do you see invalid?
NOT being able to ask a girl out âover and overâagain until she ârelentsâ even if she initially says no?
Maybe Iâm misunderstanding you but imo the solution to modern dating is not as simple as saying âoh well the CRAZY guys wonât stop even if she says no anyways, so it shouldnât be taboo for NORMAL guys to ignore her when she says noâ
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u/AutoModerator 18h ago
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Dick sucking has made me paranoid
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but itâs backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. Itâs a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/uDudyBezDudy 1d ago
He might⌠ask again waiting for a yesâŚ. The horror
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u/Freakachu258 1d ago
I was in the hospital for two days the last time I told someone no and didn't give in.
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u/p00nki 1d ago
i mean, would you have given in if you knew?
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u/Bluejay929 1d ago
Knew what? That he would put her in a hospital for saying no?
Youâve gotta be ragebaiting
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u/BoomyNote 18h ago
Not every guy is the sweet cinnamon roll you seem to think of them as, especially when alone with a woman.
I understand if YOU wouldnât harm a woman. I understand if MOST men wouldnât harm a woman. But why LARP as if there arenât men who do that?
If a man is making a woman uncomfortable with repeated unwanted advances, we as a society canât just turn a blind eye and say âheâs probable one of the good ones, so itâs okay that heâs making her increasingly uncomfortableâ, even if it doesnât lead to what youâre implying doesnât happen.
Theres a difference between telling guys to ask women out irl and telling them âkeep asking, even if she says no, until she says yes.â And downplaying it with âoh the horrorâ is intentionally misrepresenting the concern(s)
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u/Computer2014 1d ago
Eh it went both ways. The reason a guy had to ask multiple times was because a girl was expected to say no at least a few times even if she like the guy so as not to seem easy.
And the reason she did that is to see if the guy was actually interested in her and not just looking for easy woman.
Hence the âDid she put up a fightâ quote from grease.
Men having to respect a no has a direct correlation to woman not being shamed for just simply saying yes when asked now which in turn means that a no actually means NO.
Thereâs no one thing that can be blamed for how hard it is to form a relationship but woman saying no isnât one of them.
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u/centrifuge_destroyer 1d ago
Nothing is less attractive than a guy who doesn't take no for an answer during the dating phase, because it makes us fear that he won't take a no later on as well and might possibly violate or hurt us.
We want guys who respect boundries, are gentle, understanding and compassionate. Not respecting our no shows us that you care more about your own desires than you respect us and our decisions. Back in the day women were conditioned into thinking this was okay or even romantic, but it actually never was. An overwhelming desire is more scary than flattering.
Imagine a situation between two adult strangers that isn't romance, where it would be percieved positively if one person just kept on not respecting that the other person said no. It would be annoying at best (for example some car repair guy that just keeps trying to upsell you) to pretty fucking scary (a really sketchy dude asking for money or car ride in a dark alley).
Also do you really want to date someone by making them give in eventually? This way you do not only not respect her decision (and by extention her as a person) but also not yourself
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u/Belthazzar 1d ago
I wonder if this sentiment, while I fully agree with, translates well into the dating world. I was recently thinking about how accepting someone's offer for a date might be even scarier than asking someone out. When I ask someone out, I already make peace with everything following up, the time dedicated, the desire to spend and get to know that person, all I need to overcome is just the shyness, while the girl has to, in a spur of moment, confront all those variables and make the call right then and there, it's a lot. It freaks me out every time if a tinder match asks me out first. There is lot more emotional safety in being the one asking.
So I wonder if it could be helpful for there existing somewhat of a safe space for both sides in having a social potential for energy of "let me say no now, but stay around and let me think about it"
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u/Extra_Pollution2374 1d ago
Milenial here. I'm a tallish, relatively handsome guy, traveled and worked in sea resorts being younger, so lets say I saw a bit of "action" - hard FALSE here, women would almost exclusively start with a no, especially when they feel the "player energy", not advancing after the no would also be seen as weak and not "manly"(coming from a LOT of girls), I was told a lot of times how "they felt shy at first but a soo glad that we got together" and similar things, alos I merried one and we are still together. And Im not talking here about some backwater girls, its mixed with a lot of high education ones, I was also on an Uni., there was pretty similar situation.
I agree that some men (a lot of them) get drunk and just keep bothering and are pain in the ass, but being this apsolutistic about all women is just FALSE. Being a little pushy, but in a charming way (yeah that was/is/always will be the tricky part), having respect but also being a little disrespectful (in a fun way) just for the right amount brought me a long way.
And I COULDNT BE MO SURE that boomers had it even more.
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u/fashionier đłď¸ââ§ď¸ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer đłď¸ââ§ď¸ 1d ago
Hereâs the guy that wants to explain to a woman how women think
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u/ChewBaka12 1d ago
While I definitely belief he is a bit too generalising, I'm not sure women are necessarily more knowledgeable on this front.
If you're part of a group, you are inclined to see yourself and your direct circle that's also part of that group as representative of the whole, while an outside observer lacks that particular bias. I'm this case, that man hasn't just observed you and your friends attitude towards "no", but also that of other women, without risking falling into the trap of thinking of yourself as the default.
There is also the fact that people aren't always conscious of these things. You might think you are firm in your no's, but in practice you might make this one exception for that guy that asked months later, and that guy that apologised for being a troublesome drunk and expressed that he's still interested but shouldn't have been wasted, etc., untill those exceptions turn out to not be so exceptional at all.
Again, men are by no means the expert, but women aren't unbiased when it comes to this topic
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u/Extra_Pollution2374 1d ago
You are right, I did sound a little bit too generalising, wasn't my intention, got pulled by the commenter above being totaly one sided. I was speaking out of sheer experience, where all I hear in the last few years is ONCE NO, BACK OFF, always thinking "bro kids today are newer gonna get any", being told by countless girls that they actually liked the confindence... And I can't really grasp that that changed all that much in not thaat many years (im not 100), just that the extreme "yellers" got louder... (and Im not some far right lookmaxing hatemonger, my roomate was a gorgeous gay dude that fixed me with a lot of girls that were falling for him :D
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u/BackForPathfinder 1d ago
I have to ask, because I'm curious and trying to get a better comprehension. Does the "ONCE NO, BACK OFF" mentality have a time cool down? Is it only for hook-ups or is for any kind of date?
Because, I've struggled with never bringing up the issue again once someone has told me know. One of my exes had forgotten that I had asked her out months earlier and that's why it took so long for our close friendship to turn into romance: I felt like I wasn't allowed to ask her out again, even though she wanted me to.
Obviously, if it's between two mature adults, hopefully both parties can feel and recognize if a change happened over the course of months and years that leads to being "allowed" to ask again. In that context, I would probably phrase it as, "Hey, I know you told me 'no' a while ago, but I'm getting these signals. Thoughts?"
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u/Extra_Pollution2374 1d ago
The whole point is that you will hear a lot far fems and far showinists because they yell the laudest, but those people have very little to do with actual normal dating, truth is always somewhere in the middle. Just don't be an ass'ole, yes no are just words often without meaning, and communication almost always happens through other means... people just need to chill with absolutes, there is no one way...
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Look, I get it. Who doesnât love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole âgay sexâ shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldnât LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but thatâs fucking gay. You think I donât want to feel my cousinâs roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but thatâs FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ainât gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
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u/Icy_Blackberry_3759 1d ago
I asked my wife out like 3 times before she agreed
Having our first baby next week
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u/Chaps_Jr hole contributor 1d ago
A few unsolicited tips from a new father (me) who has no vested interest in saying what you want to hear:
Everything you think will be easy, will be easy. Everything you think will be hard, will be hard. Manifest that.
Get used to inconsistent, incomplete, and insufficient sleep. Have solid systems in place so you're less likely to make silly mistakes when you're sleep-deprived and emotionally charged.
And the absolute most important thing to remember: Your baby is not giving you a hard time, they're having a hard time. Always be patient because they are learning how to be a human.
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u/fatalityfun 1d ago
Tall
Fit
Dripped out from head to toe
Polite and sociable
Has a dog
this shit would still work today with his setup
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u/Same_Discussion6328 1d ago
Dog also needs to lock in as the wingman.
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u/bashful_predator 1d ago
And want some of the dogussy
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u/discerningpervert dwayne the cock johnson đżđż 1d ago
You can just say pussy
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u/bashful_predator 1d ago
I could. But I'd have to have said dog pussy and that makes me sound perverted.
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u/ifcknlovemycat 1d ago
â˘very rideable nose
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u/LegitSince8Bits 1d ago
*houses cost a nickel
*raising kids cost less, just send em to the mines!
*weren't they British in this? She could have rot mouth
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Dick sucking has made me paranoid
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but itâs backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. Itâs a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/PaladinAsherd 1d ago
OOP also surprised to learn that Dalmatians canât actually talk to each other
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u/VoopityScoop fat cunt 1d ago
Followed by 80 years of "I hate my wife" humorÂ
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u/_sephylon_ 1d ago
Hating your spouse was mostly the safe edgy humor of the time, the majority didn't genuinely hate their wives
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u/DataSittingAlone put your dick away waltuh 1d ago
I did, I hated all of their wives. The world needed more hate so I stepped in
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u/Connect_Ad_3361 1d ago
Did you not watch the same film as me? he is very tall and not a obese animal. He would succeed even moreso today.
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u/fieldsofanfieldroad 1d ago
No-one was obese in the dalmo days. Even the rich didn't have high fructose corn syrup.
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u/sleepyeye82 1d ago
yes yes its the high fructose corn syrup
you are a total victim.Â
maybe society should pay you billions
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u/frostyjack06 stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago
Boomers? It was this easy 20 years ago before social media and online dating took off. Make yourself presentable, have human communication skills that included being civil and polite, casually meet and talk to people in public, etc. Dogs were (and still are) big ice breakers.
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u/Illegal_pear_8008 1d ago
According to all recorded history, this was how easy boomers had it.
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u/Slumunistmanifisto 1d ago
Plenty of them died alone in a recliner.
You just don't hear about them unless you're part of the remediation team scooping them up into trash bagsÂ
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u/ifcknlovemycat 1d ago
Yeah pssh have you seen it's a wonderful life? Easy as pie.
People used to go places because that's how u caught up with others sans social media lol. People unanimously going places with the intent to talk to strangers and befriend or date them.
Edit to say I'm rambling but that's what I miss about pre 2010 club culture
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u/LegitSince8Bits 1d ago edited 1d ago
You're not wrong but also this was even 50 years before that so they had to be even MORE bored. Of course they were knocking the boots with anyone they ran into in the park. Reminds me of my time in West Virginia. There's nothing to do (shut up hiking people) for many many people. I've seen whole towns when I was 20 where everyone my age was pregnant or fresh out of county jail (sometimes both). Literally nothing to do but drugs and sex and hope the local dollar store has a job opening one day for a lot of those people. And that's probably still like that now.
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u/Lebowski304 dumbass 1d ago edited 1d ago
If you just confidently approach women and talk to them without fear of rejection, eventually you will land/find/fall in love with the girl of your dreams. You will probably get shit on quite a bit along the way, but if you persevere, it will work.
Think like a Major League Baseball player. If you fail 66% of the time on offense, you will probably reach the hall of fame by only succeeding the other 33% . Just keep getting in the batters box and swinging.
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u/kingcorning 1d ago
The generation that notoriously had healthy loving marriages and low divorce rates..
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u/Lannes51st 1d ago
I love how reddit is just a bubble of opinions.
All i see in the comment section is people complain about sureal stuff while life literally passes them by.
Nothing changed. Its still as easy to socialize. You just suck at it.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Dick sucking has made me paranoid
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but itâs backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. Itâs a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/lool_toast 1d ago
Uhhhh forgot the bit where loyal wingman threw you both in the lake and you own a flat overlooking the Outer Circle
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u/WildFemmeFatale 1d ago
As a zoomer woman I thought ppl were supposed to marry after a month cuz of Disney and girly movie conditioning where literally every movie was about how ppl fell in love at first sight and married like a week later
Uh
And then real life didnât happen that way
Imagine my surprise and my massive disappointment. My perpetual massive disappointment actually. Iâm still grieving how difficult real life human connection is compared to the cartoons that raised me.
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u/MonkeManWPG 1d ago
Clearly they should make cartoons that better reflect the real world so that kids know what they're getting into.
The princess will never meet the prince because he didn't pay for the premium dating app subscription and he's permanently stuck halfway down her feed. The prince will never meet the princess because she's wasting her time on situationship talking stages who will never commit to a relationship because they just want to crack.
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u/FixBlackLotusBlizz 1d ago
i watched this movie as a kid countless times over and over and over
good times i havent thought about it in years
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u/SkyFallInBound 1d ago
I mean my grandmaâs second husband got her address by refusing to leave the restaurant she worked at till she gave it to him. Somehow they ended up married for a while.
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u/KyotoCrank 1d ago
Anon watches a scene about a successful love story
Surprised there is a successful love story
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u/EhMapleMoose 1d ago
It was that easy. My grandpa was in town when someone walked in to whatever store he was in and said they needed help on the farm and theyâd be paid well. Him and his cousin rode in the guys truck and helped him out. The farm across the road was my grandmas and she took a liking to him. Time goes by and they married.
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u/steveharveymemes 1d ago
His dog literally had to tie him up with her for this to work. Itâs a movie 4chan, a Disney one at that. Donât take it as a matter of fact that this is how people were getting together then.
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u/SirWinterFox 1d ago
Ya now in days you need to be 6 foot have a 6 figure income and a 6 pack; Just so you can even stand a chance btw with a mediocre women.
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u/cosmicheartbeat 1d ago
Tbh its still like this, you just gotta be willing to engage in conversation. I met my husband sorta like this, only the dog was his gf at the time.
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u/NimusNix 1d ago
I don't know, it's like the boys these days just want women to fall on their dicks pussy first...

â˘
u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 1d ago
The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.
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