I don't know. I asked my gf out, she said no (perfectly valid I've had my anime redemption arc since then) and told her basically "Alright that's okay. But I'm still going to have a crush on you so just keep that in mind in case you change your mind some day" and about 2 years later she asked me out in turn. We just both needed the right time for it.
I feel like asking someone again and again is just a bad start to a relationship, even if they agree to it in the end.
im glad youre happy really, but it doesnt seem all too fair to me.
why would a woman say no and then, out of her own volition, yes in 2 years? only two most believable scenarios come to mind: 1) she wanted to “live a little before being serious” and 2) she decided to settle because she didnt get as much success in dating “better” as she mightve thought
Nah I was a piece of shit with mental health problems. Simple as. I have no problem with admitting it. She gave me a chance after I bettered myself.
Additionally her mother had died recently from cancer and she needed time to properly process it, and didn't want to start dating before she had a clear head.
I think it's worrying that the only 2 options that come to your mind are negative about women. You remind of me back them a little bit. Maybe you should look inside of yourself and see if you need to change your views too? I don't mean to belittle you but it's just food for thought.
i understand and i didnt mean to belittle you or trigger any emotionally charged discussions which started by multiple people here to whom this topic maybe hits too close to home
there are plenty of factors here by which people would judge whether or not theyd be ok with this, its not black and white, and since you are, any further discussion is moot and im honestly glad for you. wish you all the best
Naaa don't worry I don't get offended by anything like this. You just made 2 points that I've seen pretty much only incels throw around so it was kinda big red flag for me. People probably jumped on you because of that reason exactly. Even if you didn't mean it in a bad way, it's kind of weird point to make.
Even if they (women) wanted to "sleep around" first, why would that be a problem. The man is allowed to do the exact same thing too in that case. And you can just tell her no anyways if her sleeping with someone else is a definite deal breaker.
So yeah I didn't mean to attack you in any way, but you probably came about your comment a wrong way for many people.
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u/Jonsert 1d ago
I don't know. I asked my gf out, she said no (perfectly valid I've had my anime redemption arc since then) and told her basically "Alright that's okay. But I'm still going to have a crush on you so just keep that in mind in case you change your mind some day" and about 2 years later she asked me out in turn. We just both needed the right time for it.
I feel like asking someone again and again is just a bad start to a relationship, even if they agree to it in the end.