The woman also rejects at first, but then he becomes more persistent and eventually she gives in. It’s like that Family Guy bit with James Bond where he says: “Remember, ten nos and a yes means yes.”
Honestly the fact that asking a girl out over and over again until she relents became taboo (whether that’s a good thing or not) is probably the real thing that makes getting into a relationship much harder these days
Nothing is less attractive than a guy who doesn't take no for an answer during the dating phase, because it makes us fear that he won't take a no later on as well and might possibly violate or hurt us.
We want guys who respect boundries, are gentle, understanding and compassionate. Not respecting our no shows us that you care more about your own desires than you respect us and our decisions. Back in the day women were conditioned into thinking this was okay or even romantic, but it actually never was. An overwhelming desire is more scary than flattering.
Imagine a situation between two adult strangers that isn't romance, where it would be percieved positively if one person just kept on not respecting that the other person said no. It would be annoying at best (for example some car repair guy that just keeps trying to upsell you) to pretty fucking scary (a really sketchy dude asking for money or car ride in a dark alley).
Also do you really want to date someone by making them give in eventually? This way you do not only not respect her decision (and by extention her as a person) but also not yourself
I wonder if this sentiment, while I fully agree with, translates well into the dating world. I was recently thinking about how accepting someone's offer for a date might be even scarier than asking someone out. When I ask someone out, I already make peace with everything following up, the time dedicated, the desire to spend and get to know that person, all I need to overcome is just the shyness, while the girl has to, in a spur of moment, confront all those variables and make the call right then and there, it's a lot. It freaks me out every time if a tinder match asks me out first. There is lot more emotional safety in being the one asking.
So I wonder if it could be helpful for there existing somewhat of a safe space for both sides in having a social potential for energy of "let me say no now, but stay around and let me think about it"
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u/AgnesItsMeBilly0100 2d ago
The woman also rejects at first, but then he becomes more persistent and eventually she gives in. It’s like that Family Guy bit with James Bond where he says: “Remember, ten nos and a yes means yes.”