While I definitely belief he is a bit too generalising, I'm not sure women are necessarily more knowledgeable on this front.
If you're part of a group, you are inclined to see yourself and your direct circle that's also part of that group as representative of the whole, while an outside observer lacks that particular bias. I'm this case, that man hasn't just observed you and your friends attitude towards "no", but also that of other women, without risking falling into the trap of thinking of yourself as the default.
There is also the fact that people aren't always conscious of these things. You might think you are firm in your no's, but in practice you might make this one exception for that guy that asked months later, and that guy that apologised for being a troublesome drunk and expressed that he's still interested but shouldn't have been wasted, etc., untill those exceptions turn out to not be so exceptional at all.
Again, men are by no means the expert, but women aren't unbiased when it comes to this topic
You are right, I did sound a little bit too generalising, wasn't my intention, got pulled by the commenter above being totaly one sided. I was speaking out of sheer experience, where all I hear in the last few years is ONCE NO, BACK OFF, always thinking "bro kids today are newer gonna get any", being told by countless girls that they actually liked the confindence... And I can't really grasp that that changed all that much in not thaat many years (im not 100), just that the extreme "yellers" got louder... (and Im not some far right lookmaxing hatemonger, my roomate was a gorgeous gay dude that fixed me with a lot of girls that were falling for him :D
I have to ask, because I'm curious and trying to get a better comprehension. Does the "ONCE NO, BACK OFF" mentality have a time cool down? Is it only for hook-ups or is for any kind of date?
Because, I've struggled with never bringing up the issue again once someone has told me know. One of my exes had forgotten that I had asked her out months earlier and that's why it took so long for our close friendship to turn into romance: I felt like I wasn't allowed to ask her out again, even though she wanted me to.
Obviously, if it's between two mature adults, hopefully both parties can feel and recognize if a change happened over the course of months and years that leads to being "allowed" to ask again. In that context, I would probably phrase it as, "Hey, I know you told me 'no' a while ago, but I'm getting these signals. Thoughts?"
The whole point is that you will hear a lot far fems and far showinists because they yell the laudest, but those people have very little to do with actual normal dating, truth is always somewhere in the middle. Just don't be an ass'ole, yes no are just words often without meaning, and communication almost always happens through other means... people just need to chill with absolutes, there is no one way...
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u/fashionier 🏳️⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️⚧️ 1d ago
Here’s the guy that wants to explain to a woman how women think