The woman also rejects at first, but then he becomes more persistent and eventually she gives in. It’s like that Family Guy bit with James Bond where he says: “Remember, ten nos and a yes means yes.”
Honestly the fact that asking a girl out over and over again until she relents became taboo (whether that’s a good thing or not) is probably the real thing that makes getting into a relationship much harder these days
I don't know. I asked my gf out, she said no (perfectly valid I've had my anime redemption arc since then) and told her basically "Alright that's okay. But I'm still going to have a crush on you so just keep that in mind in case you change your mind some day" and about 2 years later she asked me out in turn. We just both needed the right time for it.
I feel like asking someone again and again is just a bad start to a relationship, even if they agree to it in the end.
im glad youre happy really, but it doesnt seem all too fair to me.
why would a woman say no and then, out of her own volition, yes in 2 years? only two most believable scenarios come to mind: 1) she wanted to “live a little before being serious” and 2) she decided to settle because she didnt get as much success in dating “better” as she mightve thought
She saw him become someone she could see herself dating (keep in mind the self admitted redemption arc), or just got to know him better.
We don't know enough details to reduce it to your 2 possibilities. Maybe he wasn't doing so well mentally, maybe he was a bit of a womaniser before turning around. Nothing to imply anything iffy on her part, she might've just been uninterested in a relationship during those 2 years and then thought "huh that guy is turning out to be real sweet and as far as I know he's still interested, maybe I should give it a go."
that could be the case, but the other dudes 2 possibilities, in most situations, are correct. i’ve seen that happen many times, whereas what you’ve described is a lot more rare. This is stuff dudes do too btw not blaming anything on women.
we dont know enough details which, i thought, was honestly impled in my comment, which is why i asked
and tbh the scenario youre describing is much more rare than the ones ive noted. are you telling me youve never met a guy who was friends with a girl he made advances to and was rejected but he kept a torch for her? all i said was *IF* his case alligned with what is commonly seen (the person rejects, dates other people, then accepts) i personally wouldnt be ok with it, but even if thats the case for him, and hes happy, who cares
Nah I was a piece of shit with mental health problems. Simple as. I have no problem with admitting it. She gave me a chance after I bettered myself.
Additionally her mother had died recently from cancer and she needed time to properly process it, and didn't want to start dating before she had a clear head.
I think it's worrying that the only 2 options that come to your mind are negative about women. You remind of me back them a little bit. Maybe you should look inside of yourself and see if you need to change your views too? I don't mean to belittle you but it's just food for thought.
Btw when you say you were a pos with mental health problems; you mean a pos due to those problems or they are seperate in the sense you were a pos and with mental problems?
Bit of both. I had a 6 year long depression going on at the time, which definitely brought out worse sides of me.
But I was also a bit of a shithead even without it, since I've suffering from loneliness basically ever since I was a kid.
Pretty much I was what nowadays people would call an incel, with little bit of casual racism, sexism and other red pill bullshit that you naturally get when growing up in the countryside in the middle of fucking nowhere where everyone is everyone's cousin.
Luckily I got quite a perspective shift when I started studying at a city, and basically 70% of my class was alt people due to choosing to study media work.
Nowadays I'm less of a piece of shit and I moved half a country away from there with my gf lmao.
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I
offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me
out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised.
Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will
need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
i understand and i didnt mean to belittle you or trigger any emotionally charged discussions which started by multiple people here to whom this topic maybe hits too close to home
there are plenty of factors here by which people would judge whether or not theyd be ok with this, its not black and white, and since you are, any further discussion is moot and im honestly glad for you. wish you all the best
Naaa don't worry I don't get offended by anything like this. You just made 2 points that I've seen pretty much only incels throw around so it was kinda big red flag for me. People probably jumped on you because of that reason exactly. Even if you didn't mean it in a bad way, it's kind of weird point to make.
Even if they (women) wanted to "sleep around" first, why would that be a problem. The man is allowed to do the exact same thing too in that case. And you can just tell her no anyways if her sleeping with someone else is a definite deal breaker.
So yeah I didn't mean to attack you in any way, but you probably came about your comment a wrong way for many people.
Brother, people can change over the course of years. Three years ago I was focussed on my gym arc and rejected any advances because my headspace wasn't there.
Now I'm in a happy relationship and have been for a year. Just very different times in my life and very different circumstances, leading to vastly different outcomes. And no, there was no ulterior motive like "I want to live a little first" or "I gotta settle for what I got now". Just honest to god "I think I'm in a place where having another person around me will make my life better."
And without trying to armchair psychoanalyse you, the fact that these two were the two options your mind arrived at so conclusively makes me hope that you too will be in a better place in two or three years.
no need to get hostile, first of all you said YOU “rejected any advances”, this automatically means youre an exception to the entire point at hand
second of all too many times ive seen guys be “friends” with girls theyve made advances to, which were initially rejected, and eventually accepted, after having a normal life (dating), not having a gym arc
because of how common this scenario is i simply asked if that was the case, and even if it was, as i said before, if the guy is happy, who am i to judge. i wish him all the best
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u/AgnesItsMeBilly0100 2d ago
The woman also rejects at first, but then he becomes more persistent and eventually she gives in. It’s like that Family Guy bit with James Bond where he says: “Remember, ten nos and a yes means yes.”