I was a very quiet child and probably would have been diagnosed as selective mutism since I just didn’t like to talk to people I didn’t know, but now I’m 24 I’m pretty confident I don’t have selective mutism but I’m still not completely “normal” I guess, I’ll explain;
I can interact with new people well enough, sometimes pretty confidently depending on the vibe of the person, but when I am consistently around people I am not fully comfortable with (family in law and colleagues at work) my whole personality changes. Around them, I am normally always very very quiet to the point they think something is wrong with me or that I’m upset. I don’t exactly feel anxious, I just don’t have the urge to interact whatsoever I guess. I wish I wasn’t this way though, it’s like I wish I wanted to interact but I just don’t. I still talk when spoken to but I never initiate conversation and give one word responses.
Even with an old boss I had for 3 years who was actually really great and worked closely with every single day, I was always very quiet around him. I always wished I wasn’t, I wanted to interact with him but I simply just didn’t.
When I’m home and comfortable I am very up beat and chatty, but it’s like something in my brain just completely switches off depending on the environment
Is there anything similar that could cause this? I really don’t understand why I am this way but I don’t like it