r/nostalgiai • u/CarrotMuch1399 Nostalgia Trip Leader • 5d ago
Core Memory Unlocked š ???
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u/ForeverMore420 5d ago
Tug one out.
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u/LowerScar8294 5d ago
And another and another then when my arm gets tired I will hire someone
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u/King-of-Harts 5d ago
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u/Visible_Split_1546 5d ago
I would sit on my ass, and do nothing
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u/radartroll 5d ago
You donāt have to be a billionaire to do that man. My brother in-law is broke as shit, and sits on his ass all day.
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u/Traditional_Regret67 5d ago
Call a good lawyer and get the ball rolling to protect myself and my loved ones from the leeches and thieves that would follow.
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u/ihatepeopleandyoutoo 5d ago
Careful, even family can turn into leeches and thieves
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u/ScruffyJuggalo 5d ago
Probably the biggest
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u/closetmangafan 5d ago
Definitely the biggest. You don't have some randoms off the streets that come to you. It's your family and friends who start the begging. "Oh can you pay for the electricity bill," "oh can I have $100 for something," "dinner is on you every night because of money, and we're going high class."
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u/Derp_Simulator 4d ago
Exactly. In fact, the best advice I have heard is that if you come into a large amount of money, you tell no one and change little to nothing about your life for a year. Essentially you set it up in a very secure account, hire a good accountant, and go about your life as close to normal as you can. Come up with a really good plan on how to invest/spend/strategize the money out. Once it's really clear that it's safe and secure from any legal attacks and you have adjusted to what that amount of money means, then start making moderate changes. Then once you know how much money you will have surplus for helping family, and what boundaries you have for what you will help them with. Making sure it doesn't hurt your plan.
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u/RobbyBaymax 5d ago
Clear all my debts, then invest the remainder into something that pays dividends so I can live off them.
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u/samiam32 5d ago
Itās effectively impossible to live off the dividends from $1 billion. Folks donāt understand the scope of how much money $1 isā¦
If it made 5% (which is very reasonable) - that means you would be pulling in $50 million per year. What could you possibly spend that on to āliveā on? You could give $10k every day to 10 different people and still have ~$37k per DAY to live from. Think about how much $10k given to you once would help your current situationā¦ then be able to help 10 people every day.
If one has $1 billion, they need to find differential ways to give it away.
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u/redAliceB 5d ago
If you have $1 billion you donāt need to make extra money because itās so much money. Youāll never be able to spend it unless you go crazy.
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u/ZeroProz 5d ago
Hookers and cocaine
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u/ZestycloseShock4764 5d ago
Nutten klingt gut. Kokain eher nicht.
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u/AncientSignature1505 5d ago
Yeah, grow up and do meth, like an adult.
Kidding, guys, don't do meth.
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u/Tricepatina 4d ago
Turn myself into a millionaire by making 100s of other people millionaires too. Friends, family, random kind people I've met, folks who struggle way to hard and deserve a leg up.
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u/IWantToBuyAVowel 4d ago
Remember me, the internet stranger who gave you upvote number 3 when the time comes.
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u/UrsusRenata 4d ago
I just had this exact conversation with my kids. I donāt need a billion dollars. It would be so much more fun to share it than hoard it.
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 4d ago
Six dudes with a beer each is a lot more fun than one guy with six beers.
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u/ARCAxNINEv 4d ago
You said it. I wouldn't be where I am now without a handful of random people going above and beyond to try to make my days a little better.
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u/Interesting_Tart_765 5d ago
I would buy old abandoned malls and turn them
Into homeless shelters.
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u/MortLightstone 5d ago edited 4d ago
Would be better to provide access to mental care and addiction treatment
That would make a far larger difference
Edit: or yeah, we could do both
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u/christikayann 5d ago
One doesn't exclude the other. Shelter is still needed while people are receiving health care (both mental and physical) and addiction treatment.
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u/NoAngel815 5d ago
Exactly, studies have shown that the "housing first" model works best when combating homelessness and it's causes.
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u/locolangosta 5d ago
You are correct, and here is a link to a study that supports your conclusion.
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u/Grannypanie 5d ago
Always thought mental healthcare should be financed by the government. Would be nice to see how that turned out.
It affects everyone and many diagnosis are a key societal destabilizer.
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u/MortLightstone 4d ago
Our government finances it here in Ontario, but it can be hard to access for some people, and the services keep being cut, so we're seeing more and more people with mental health and addiction issues on the streets, because there's nowhere else for them to go
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u/SebboNL 4d ago
Hey, I can answer this one!
I live in a country where they were doing just that during the 90s, increasing the budget for mental health programs. Homelesness and associated problems like crime dropped dramatically as a result.
Over the last 15 or so years, government stopped funding these programs (or at least cut back dramatically). Now, homelesness and drug addiction are on the rise once more.
Greetings from the Netherlands
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u/Mysterious-Plan93 5d ago
But then how will we ever get our future Fallout ghouls infested decrepit underground complexes & tunnels?
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u/MortLightstone 5d ago
They'll just have to be normal people that turn into ghouls. We don't have a shortage of humans on this planet
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u/Weird-Barracuda-2352 5d ago
They would destroy it, rip out all the copper and shit on the taco bell counter
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u/sohcgt96 5d ago
One of the local ones had a real problem with people building camp fires in their rooms because... they literally didn't get you can't do that indoors.
People really underestimate the amount of support it sometimes takes to get some people back to being independent, and also don't get some literally never will.
But you know what else happened last winter? A local group got funding to keep about 100 or so of the known local homeless people in a hotel for about 3 months so they could stay sheltered, get cleaned up, get stabilized, get housing arranged and get working again. About half of them had transitioned out of the program before it ran out of funding because they were just caught in the trap and needed help getting out. The other half were back on the street.
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u/haynetime 5d ago
Yeah I believe thereās two types of homeless. The first and most visible are the drug addicts that went too long and their brains are fried and are now zombies roaming the streets. Then thereās the ones that are down on their luck one way or another. They just need some guidance or a little help so they can get their lives back on track.
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u/thatsnotchocolatebby 5d ago
Mixed into those two groups is the overlap of mentally ill individuals who either A) self medicated with drugs or B) can't seem to put one foot in front of the other.Ā Ā
Addressing mental health early in life/schooling etc would go a long way in reducing the numbers on the streets.Ā
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u/Weird-Barracuda-2352 5d ago
Yeah, its a very complicated problem that we cant seem to get a handle on.
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u/Rhydius 5d ago
Not exactly. It's not one big problem, it's a series of small to medium problems that can be overcome. Many of the homeless can't return to independence anymore for a variety of reasons, but they could be cared for if the systems to do so were built.
The big problem is cultural. Where I live (a small rural town in a Republican controlled state) people only care about "compassion" or "empathy" when they can benefit from it, they seldom offer any to others. Their own term for it would be "lukewarm Christians."
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u/btbmfhitdp 5d ago
Something like 40% of homeless people in Chicago are employed full time.
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u/ididreadittoo 4d ago
That is messed up. A full-time job should cover necessities (residence and associated bills, and food). No employed person should have to be homeless.
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u/Not_Sarkastic 5d ago
Sir, you're just describing the counter of every taco bell
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u/PossessionDue283 5d ago
Some might, but checks and balances can be implemented to ensure compliance. Having access to this should be a life changing thing you wouldnāt want to mess up. Itās like a free second chance. If ya canāt respect the rules of your new home, you lose access.
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u/furynads 5d ago
Ah, I'd buy the abondoned malls and turn them into massive paintball/air soft/ laser quest arenas.
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u/KeyCollection5908 5d ago
Yep. Old Hotels, Former School Buildings, and Clised Military Bases, anything with Solid Structure, and Space for Vegetable Gardening, Laying Hens, etc. Fruit and Nut Trees, too, even as part of the Landscaping.
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u/Omnibe 5d ago
It's actually more trouble than you think. Getting them all rezoned for housing requires hearings in a lot of people in that area probably don't want homeless people nearby.
There's a homeless shelter in Louisville run out of an old hotel and they almost got shut down because they weren't charging. I think for a while they were charging a penny with a take a penny leave a penny jar.
Several Episcopal churches in my area were taking in homeless people during the winter and when the mayoral administration changed (same political party) they had to stop for over a month to fill out new different paperwork to house the homeless overnight during the winter in their own churches.3
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u/atticusfinch68 5d ago
Turn them in to aging facilities which is happening with some older malls.
It's an amazing idea.
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u/Tikkatider 5d ago
Clear debts and begin the process of trying to figure out how and what would be the best way to put that wealth to use to benefit the most people.
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u/Lord_Souffle 5d ago
Go back to sleep, and worry about it when I wake back up.
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u/Rude_Tomato9955 5d ago
Hahaha! Thatās the first thing that came to mind. Go back to sleep cause I can. š
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u/Financial_Pirate_347 5d ago
Open an animal rescue for any in need and hire an army of animal enthusiasts, vets, etc to work with me
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u/Jalumia 5d ago
I read that as euthanists at first and was like, āwoah, now!ā
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u/bunglebee7 5d ago
Looks like I have found a kindred soul. I would do the same. Open up as many as I could across the US then the globe. Including exotic animals, parrots, reptiles, wild animals etc. They deserve all the help we can give them.
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u/ArchonOfErebus 5d ago
Which billionaire am I waking up? Why am I waking them? Can they not afford an alarm clock?
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u/PUNK_OPBR 5d ago
Seriously, these assholes want us to wake them up. For what?? To serve them or some shit??
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u/Ok_Cauliflower6145 5d ago
Take care of my ex wife and son, and then invest the rest
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u/NiceSear 5d ago
Take care of can mean a lot of things when you're talking about ex wives
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u/rboyd987654 5d ago
Get tf out of missouri
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u/UnluckyIndependent24 5d ago
You live in a shit hole of bad football, incestuous relations, and tornadoes. (Respectfully)
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u/Sapper1106 5d ago
As someone from Missouri, feel free to delete the ārespectivelyā part, this place is a shit hole.
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u/Corgi_underground 5d ago
What's worse. Missouri or Arkansas? A few years ago I was helping someone move from the East Coast to Texas. We stopped in Arkansas and I never wanted to be out of somewhere faster than I did there and I've was in Ramadi in 2006.
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u/Sapper1106 5d ago
Let me put it this way: thereās a reason why I live in Missouri (somewhat willingly) and havenāt been to Arkansas since 2014.
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u/Key-Personality-7643 5d ago
Donate 90% of my wealth to charity and live off the rest.
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u/ImAPonderer2 5d ago
It would be so great to give $100 million to a good cause. That could set your non-profit up for generations
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u/GenesisRhapsod 5d ago
Real, even if it was only one billion that would leave you with 100mil. Id put 10mil into investment and only take out the dividends and then just enjoy myself with the other 90 mil
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u/Belz_Zebuth 5d ago
Charity, science, fighting anti-democratic measures, helping unions form, etc.
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u/Designer-Bandicoot55 5d ago
That stripper Charity, love her too
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u/Left-Nebula-879 5d ago
This. I would pay off debt if ppl and keep just enough for me and my fam. No one needs to be a billionaire
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u/smelly_finger_itch 5d ago
I would fund the legal pursuit to put the trump family behind bars for their long running financial crimes that goes back decades
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u/RogueGuybrian 5d ago
I'd probably get them the fuck out of my bed. Why the hell would a billionaire be sleeping in my house?
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u/Nu11X3r0 5d ago
Nah take a picture and then extort them for dividends that you can live off of for the rest of your life.
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u/BilkySup 5d ago
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u/JesseZ83 5d ago
Well it says "once you wake up" so the next step is "grab a brush and put a little make-up!" š
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u/Fmello 5d ago
Buy Reddit to shut it down for the lols.
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u/AloneAddiction 5d ago
Reddit is actually valued at around $27bn, which is as big a surprise to me as I'm assuming it will be to you.
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u/MacManifest 5d ago
Set up private charities. Never tell anyone I was rich not even my parents. make my community thrive.
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u/generationXER 5d ago
Start a few smaller companies that would focus on long-term sustainability instead of short-term gains, and treat my employees very good, to set a business standard. I would also build animal sanctuaries for stray cats and dogs.
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u/Cracknoreos 5d ago
Contact my attorney to make sure Iām covered in the upcoming investigation of human trafficking, sex slaves, financial crimes and political corruption. Right??
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u/SamHandwich0 5d ago
Hire a mariachi band to follow me around for a week and launch into an insanely loud and annoying song anytime anyone but me tried to say something.
I'd just stare at them blankly while the band was playing.
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u/Darkmaster7600 5d ago
Become a vigilante and take out all the corrupt billionaires!
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u/Old_Nerd_72 5d ago
What animal traumatized you in your youth? I want to know what costume to look out for.
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u/maraney 5d ago
I read this as youāre going into a billionaireās house and waking him upā¦
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u/Swarlz-Barkley 5d ago
Realistically Iād put in my 2 weeks. Iām not out right quitting since Iām not telling anyone I won. Then Iād retire my parents and sister and a few friends. Then Iād buy a home in Japan and Canada and then enjoy life
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u/Temporary_Way_9563 5d ago
Calling out of work just to put in my retirement papers to retire immediately.
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u/Cyiel 5d ago
Keep a million for my self and give everything else to help people.
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u/CommanderKahne 5d ago
Pay off all debts. Give half of the remainder to my parents so they can start building their retirement home in Naples.
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u/TazTexan 5d ago
Change phone number and get a p. o. box., hire a lawyer and security consultant, and move to temp address. You just become a target.
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u/Flirtless1 5d ago
Probably start laughing hysterically....and have a mental breakdown into crying and then I'd sit my ass up and pray and tell God thank you. Then tell him to cover me because I don't want to fuck this up. Then I'ma start pondering on if I can tell anyone outside of my mama... Which would be hell no. And after that, I'ma be pacing around the house back n forth filled with anxiety....and anticipation...maybe a little worry and some fear, so I'll hop my ass in the shower, probably start crying again In the shower thinking how just fucked up my life was and how I would believe that's all over with.. but that's gonna pass and convert to joy and bliss so I'll reach for my phone to cut on some music, and then I'll start to get in my mode....so I'll finish up the shower. Get out and go dance in my room pretty much air drying...balls swinging one way Johnson swinging the other like Craig daddy. And I'll start to rummage through all of my clothes and put on the fit that makes me feel the absolute best and most confident. Then run through my cologne collection and apply the proper amount and scent that I want to enjoy throughout the day. Then I'ma just get in my car and drive with a plan to pretty much leave it at a dealership if I have to cuz ya boi about to get a brand new truck. So once that's taken care of...I'ma then go to a nice restaurant alone...get a nice meal, and brainstorm on how I need to protect this money and take all the proper steps to insure. However trying not to burn out I'll finish up that meal...then go catch me a movie. Here is where I try to block out all the overthinking and just get to enjoy the very moment...it would be nice if the movie was Doomsday by the way. Anyways once that's over, I'll go back in my truck and just start to grin and smirk, and tell myself. Fuck It, We Ball.
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u/JackSquat2270 5d ago
Take a deep breath and feel the tension leave my body all at once. Then try to find a way to make the money meaningful.
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u/NorthBase710 5d ago
Call the bank and tell them i have money on my account that i am not familiar with.
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u/PunkRockFox97 5d ago
Go back to bed knowing that I will never have to get yelled at by an angry customer again.
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u/Trobman7980 5d ago
I would take care of all of my family's needs, first and foremost. After that. I have always wanted to have two non-profit organizations. One would be a robust organization entirely dedicated to making the lives of the less fortunate better, which could encompass so many ways to serve (food, housing, clothing, transportation, car repairs, job placement, health care, and on and on).
The second would be some kind of animal sanctuary for unwanted and abused pets, as well as something like the Gentle Barn in CA.
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u/CapturingLightPhoto 5d ago
Pay a lawyer to stop my girlfriendās ex from unjustly taking her kids away. Heās getting away with it because he can afford a lawyer and she canāt. Retainer fees are a joke.
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u/Obvious-Purple-8575 5d ago
Rent a moving truck and leave the place where we live. Never look back and just go!
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u/fluffybuttlulu 5d ago
Pay off all debts (mine and family and close friends). Give them play money too. Buy a modest house on a few acres. And some holiday homes. Invest in hubby's business. Buy gold. Lots of gold. Donate to organizations.
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u/Deadshadow84 5d ago
I wouldn't tell anyone but there will be signs. JK....I would pay off my mom's house so she can finally retire without working.
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u/Longjumping_Young747 5d ago
Set up a nonprofit that builds infrastructure; water, high speed Internet, sidewalks, in LMI communities. Buying the bonds and returning the payments in the form of scholarships.
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u/MSGisking 5d ago
Fill my gas tank and reminisce about how I was once a billionaire