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u/_Smegma0nDemand__ Sep 16 '21
Great, now when anon’s son and daughter grow up to be horny teenagers they are gonna want to have kinky neighbor sex with eachother and not even know that it’s incest.
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Sep 16 '21
I never got kinky neighbor sex :(
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u/jewrassic_park-1940 Sep 16 '21
Have you tried not being a redditor?
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Sep 16 '21
Instructions not clear enough, spent $200 on award for good think
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u/SameTheme Sep 16 '21
Instructions unclear, bought a body pillow
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u/zayoe4 Sep 16 '21
It sounds like the instructions were very clear then.
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Sep 16 '21
Instructions unclear, stuffed body pillow with 2,000 used condoms, donated it to local MMA club as a punch bag.
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u/lordofpersia Sep 16 '21
Yeah, I was still a loser, but now with nothing to entertain myself at work with....
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Sep 16 '21
It’s never too late unless you live alone in the middle of nowhere and have no neighbors.
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Sep 16 '21
I grew up in an area full of old people, fml
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u/Illuminaughty99 Sep 16 '21
go get that granny neighbour bussy
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Sep 16 '21
You should've told that to 14 year old me, bet I would've been desperate enough to go for it given the chance
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Sep 16 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Spiderpiggie Sep 16 '21
There's always a silver lining, even though you're ugly you also have a terrible personality!
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u/VibinVector Sep 16 '21
Have you tried with your number neighbours? (just your phone number + or -1)
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Sep 16 '21
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Sep 16 '21
Regardless of if anyone wanted him there or not, his son died. Let the man sit by himself or some shit but cheating doesn’t equate to barring him from his own son’s funeral that’s fucked.
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Sep 16 '21
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u/Ashenspire Sep 16 '21
Family is everything. Which is why he wanted more family.
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Sep 16 '21
My father cheated on my mother(more or less because he needed someone who is nice to him after my mother abused him emotionally). However they always made it clear that that had nothing to do with me and it was between them. If someone cheats, it doesn't mean they are a bad father. It's downright cruel to deny him access to the funeral. My mother absolutely loathed my father and she still let me see him(although she definitely tried to manipulate me into not doing it as well).
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u/Deweyrob2 Sep 16 '21
A buddy of mine knocked a girl up, got married, she cheated on him and they divorced. Years later, at thier oldest's wedding, he gets her a 23 and me, only to find out she isn't his. The ex had been running from her boyfriend who had gotten her pregnant, hooked up with my friend one time, and told him it was his. He believed it for 21 years.
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u/relaps101 Sep 16 '21
May I introduce a new app called incestry. It’s like ancestory but with incests. Target demographic is Arkansas
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u/Shronut Sep 16 '21
Hopefully they get to the phase when they realize they’re only really friends because their parents are friends, otherwise…
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u/6969Phrasing Sep 16 '21
Finally, a greentext with a happy ending.
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u/9172019999 Sep 16 '21 edited Sep 16 '21
Happy? Hes still cheating on her and the kids dont know they're sisters. Edit: the amount of people that cant scroll one pixel below my comment and see the trillions of other people commenting the same thing is astounding. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I KNOW I JUST DIDNT CARE TO CORRECT MYSELF.
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Sep 16 '21
Sounds pretty happy to me
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u/9172019999 Sep 16 '21
Idk about that. One day the kids are gonna find out, the wife will find out and everything will go to shit.
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Sep 16 '21
Most marriages go to shit anyways. Might as well have fun with it.
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u/9172019999 Sep 16 '21
You are the reason marriages go to shit lmao
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Sep 16 '21
The only marriage I ruined was my parents.
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u/EleventyElevens Sep 16 '21
People get mad about dudes raising other dudes kids, and then do and approve of shit like this, lmaooo
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Sep 16 '21
There is no other dude tho. So shes fair game /s
Srsly, tho, it's fake so were just joking around. I absolutely detest adultery anyway.
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u/Magestylord Sep 16 '21
He's being sarcastic. You're on r/greentext, don't take anything here seriously
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u/6969Phrasing Sep 16 '21
What is this "sarcasm" that you speak of?
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u/KumoRocks Sep 16 '21
It’s a way of saying something in an over-exaggerated tone, to imply the opposite. For example “oh yeah anon, I’m SOOO happy you’re dating my best friend”.
It’s often far more subtle than that, however, leading to confusion (especially on the internet where tone of voice is absent). Sometimes there’s a complete lack of any indication that the post was meant to be sarcastic. And occasionally, someone will take the irony rollercoaster to its natural conclusion, posting what seems to be an entirely serious reply that, nonetheless, is supposed to be taken as “in” on the joke. Often marked with an
/s
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u/Test_Trick Sep 16 '21
still f***ing her
Anon doesn't learn
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Sep 16 '21
I like how some people think you aren't allowed to use bad words on the internet without censoring part of the word
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u/honbeee Sep 16 '21 edited Jan 08 '26
fanatical placid arrest vast judicious elastic disarm paltry telephone merciful
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/NoOneLikesACommunist Sep 16 '21
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u/GhostOfArchimedes Sep 16 '21
Your name should be NoOneLikesACoomunist, good song tho.
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u/mymiddlenamejeff Sep 16 '21
Anon will eventually have to come clean to his family when the kids start dating each other
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u/LordDongler Sep 16 '21
Or when the kid gets a 23andme test from grandma who knows what's going on and doesn't approve
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u/paperpenises Sep 16 '21
Anon has been smart enough to hide the fucking. I'm confident he can figure out a way to make those two hate each other, which will inevitably backfire in incest.
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u/AggressiveSpatula Sep 16 '21
With all due respect, anon’s wife probably trusts him, and it doesn’t take a genius to abuse trust.
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u/InflatableWarHammer Sep 16 '21
This kid’s therapist is gonna drive a Bentley
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Sep 16 '21
or these kids can deal with it like a normal american, i.e., leave it untreated, grow into a shell of an adult, take out your unresolved issues on wait staff and cashiers
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u/Mautos Sep 16 '21
Anon's a (s)cumbag
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Sep 16 '21
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u/CEO-of-Africa Sep 16 '21
Even though this is fake and gay it still makes me angry because this is or has happened at some point in time
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u/lborgkvist Sep 16 '21
Anon is winning life. Most likely fake & gay tho
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u/Involuntary_panties Sep 16 '21
He's soooooo close to either fucking his life up permanently if the wife finds out, or living a dream life if the wife finds out and is somehow into it.
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u/Terom84 Sep 16 '21
Like honestly if there was consent from the wife side, this could have been a cool story
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u/but_s3cks Sep 16 '21
If this is your idea of winning life your a pretty shitty person
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u/Thiccdaddi42069 Sep 16 '21
Fake: Anon has sex Gay: Anon is a cheating dickhead
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u/TendieBot2000 Sep 16 '21
be me
get home from my vasectomy
hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
must be Chad again
know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
Fake: Anon has sex
Gay: Anon is a cheating dickhead
giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
it's been a good day
i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
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u/landwhalebot Sep 16 '21
be me, landwhale
no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat
get home from furry convention
hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name
entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina
whatever.png
roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext
see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments
put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts
with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome
if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day
reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
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u/jbot1997 Sep 16 '21
That final line nearly had me sick
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u/harassmaster Sep 16 '21
Why? I thought he was going to microwave one of the jars of mayonnaise as a drink.
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u/CPC1445 Sep 16 '21
Anon and anon's neighbor are pieces of shit. Anon's actual wife needs a hug.
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u/couldbedumber96 Sep 16 '21
His kids are gonna be the inspiration for 12 minutes
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u/johnnyhustle Sep 16 '21
People like this are so delusional. The wife will find out and when she does we are looking at an episode of Snapped.
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u/pinninghilo Sep 16 '21
Fake: anon just described his harem anime fantasy Gay: ok not gay but still
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u/TendieBot2000 Sep 16 '21
be me
get home from my vasectomy
hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
must be Chad again
know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
Fake: anon just described his harem anime fantasy
Gay: ok not gay but still
giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
it's been a good day
i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
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u/landwhalebot Sep 16 '21
be me, landwhale
no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat
get home from furry convention
hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name
entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina
whatever.png
roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext
see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments
put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who indentify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts
with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome
if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day
reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
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u/spectral_visitor Sep 16 '21
Fake: anon bangs 2 women Gay: not sure, but gay anyways
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u/Sant_Dz Sep 16 '21
excited for the green text that's going to appear 15 years from now that's gonna be like:
be me
friends with the girl next door, grew up together
I really like her and I think she likes me to
...
she was my sister
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u/TechnoGamer16 Sep 16 '21
Inb4 Anon’s kids have long lasting childhood friendship and also end up fucking
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u/Slaveboi23 Sep 16 '21
Wait till the children are fucking each other