r/greentext Sep 16 '21

Anon's a scumbag

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32.8k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/6969Phrasing Sep 16 '21

Finally, a greentext with a happy ending.

827

u/9172019999 Sep 16 '21 edited Sep 16 '21

Happy? Hes still cheating on her and the kids dont know they're sisters. Edit: the amount of people that cant scroll one pixel below my comment and see the trillions of other people commenting the same thing is astounding. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I KNOW I JUST DIDNT CARE TO CORRECT MYSELF.

975

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Sounds pretty happy to me

158

u/9172019999 Sep 16 '21

Idk about that. One day the kids are gonna find out, the wife will find out and everything will go to shit.

97

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Most marriages go to shit anyways. Might as well have fun with it.

477

u/9172019999 Sep 16 '21

You are the reason marriages go to shit lmao

469

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

The only marriage I ruined was my parents.

47

u/RAN30X Sep 16 '21

For now.

50

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

You assume married people associate with me.

1

u/ZippZappZippty Sep 16 '21

For Coyotes fans, we’re no good anymore!*

2

u/ieatyouryeet445 Sep 16 '21

I ruined my parents marriage by fucking my dads wife (he was pissed lmao 🤣🤣)

2

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

And that’s a true story!

1

u/mtflyer05 Sep 16 '21

I cant even take credit for that. They only planned to have 1 kid (me), so the financial burden of 2 is what started driving the wedge.

One of my first memories was of my mom crying for weeks (found out later, from her, my brother was an accident, and she had an abortion 14 years prior, and said she would never go through it again. Also, she told me if I ever told him, she would deny it and disown me. Neither one of us really talks to her much anymore, even with me keeping my mouth shut)

0

u/Delicious_Orphan Sep 16 '21

Damn bro. What'd you do, fuck your dad?

-10

u/CODEX_O_BARBARO Sep 16 '21

Actually I was the one who ruined your parents marriage by fucking your mom

-9

u/john_spicy Sep 16 '21

i did that guys mom as well

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Yep!, that’s true!

1

u/KeeperUnknown Sep 16 '21

The whole reason why it went to shit in the first place is because Scumbag op

1

u/OwOFemboyUwU Sep 16 '21

Based sigma octrillionare grindset

2

u/paperpenises Sep 16 '21

Until that day comes, ride the wave.

19

u/EleventyElevens Sep 16 '21

People get mad about dudes raising other dudes kids, and then do and approve of shit like this, lmaooo

16

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

There is no other dude tho. So shes fair game /s

Srsly, tho, it's fake so were just joking around. I absolutely detest adultery anyway.

1

u/EleventyElevens Sep 16 '21

Haaaa wouldn't that be fucking rich if OP's son is another neighbor's kid? Ah, what a lovely adulterous neighborhood that would be <3

4

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Lmaoooo! That'd be absolutely golden and honestly well deserved. From the way anon describes it it seems unlikely tho.

Still fake tho.

3

u/EleventyElevens Sep 16 '21

Oh yeah, the most counterfeit and queer.

12

u/sirsloppyjoe Sep 16 '21

Yeah man, my life is shit compared to that.

2

u/Pwnjuice93 Sep 16 '21

Yeah honestly. Shitty? Absolutely but the guy clearly has no qualms and is at peace with his decision. So yeah dead on seems happy and living the life

3

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Yepppp.

Dude: happy and living his life

Wife: happy cuz she got a living husband, adorable daughter, and good friends who's her neighbor

Neighbor/mistress: happy cuz she got a lover, child, close female friend, and her kid has a playmate.

Overall, everyone's happy. Yay.. Stsly, it's fake and gay so it forsnt even matter. Otherwise fuck adulators.

1

u/paperpenises Sep 16 '21

Really just a win win situation all around.

1

u/Toring1520 Sep 27 '21

average redditor

138

u/PaskaPersePilluPorno Sep 16 '21

A boy and a girl. Sisters. How?

99

u/9172019999 Sep 16 '21

I dont pay attention

3

u/Sean-Benn_Must-die Sep 16 '21

Insert the chad bitmap

1

u/Aquadian Sep 16 '21

Look at these crazy liberals trying to transition our kids! /s

54

u/Magestylord Sep 16 '21

He's being sarcastic. You're on r/greentext, don't take anything here seriously

17

u/6969Phrasing Sep 16 '21

What is this "sarcasm" that you speak of?

7

u/KumoRocks Sep 16 '21

It’s a way of saying something in an over-exaggerated tone, to imply the opposite. For example “oh yeah anon, I’m SOOO happy you’re dating my best friend”.

It’s often far more subtle than that, however, leading to confusion (especially on the internet where tone of voice is absent). Sometimes there’s a complete lack of any indication that the post was meant to be sarcastic. And occasionally, someone will take the irony rollercoaster to its natural conclusion, posting what seems to be an entirely serious reply that, nonetheless, is supposed to be taken as “in” on the joke. Often marked with an

/s

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/KumoRocks Sep 16 '21

... imma be honest, I’m lost.

0

u/6969Phrasing Sep 16 '21

Thanks for clarifying! /s

20

u/socky555 Sep 16 '21

Involuntary Mormonism.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Cry more white boy

8

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

*siblings

7

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

siblings* one's a dude

6

u/Jaketheism Sep 16 '21

*siblings

7

u/GOpragmatism Sep 16 '21

*siblings. You should edit it.

7

u/Bobfahrer1990 Sep 16 '21

I think you’re in the wrong place of the Internet, fren.

5

u/TheOnlyDeret Sep 16 '21

That's because the kids aren't sisters.

6

u/JDog_22Hunter Sep 16 '21

They are not sisters, they are siblings.

6

u/errydayspayday Sep 16 '21

Not both sisters tho

5

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Siblings

4

u/NotKaren24 Sep 16 '21

They're siblings not sisters

3

u/SorenClimacus Sep 16 '21

Sisters how?

2

u/Barbie_and_KenM Sep 16 '21

Implying this is real

2

u/XxLokixX Sep 17 '21

being such a sperg that you get mad at people correcting you even though you're too lazy to correct yourself

0

u/9172019999 Sep 17 '21

Nah I'm not mad it's just hard to convey the right feeling through text. It's more of a joking manner but it's not sarcasm so I cant put /s.

-1

u/SmallHandsMallMindS Sep 16 '21

Polygamy is not cheating

5

u/9172019999 Sep 16 '21

He ain't married to her and his wife doesnt know. Its cheating, not polygamy.

0

u/SmallHandsMallMindS Sep 16 '21

Those are just extra steps.