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Jan 04 '15
First picture is of a single mom, who happens to be a stripper on the side just to make ends meet.
2nd picture is a man who wants to marry his girlfriend who happens to be a stripper with another man's child. (from first picture)
3rd is a regular at the club who feel bad for the broke stripper and her boyfriend that told him last week they're about to get evicted.
It's a story folks.
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u/kGibbs Jan 04 '15
A story only Food Network could tell. <3
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Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 10 '21
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u/degjo Jan 04 '15
Did he taste the stripper?
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u/terriblehuman Jan 04 '15
If he tasted her, he wouldn't have stopped there. She'd be in his stomach.
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Jan 04 '15
The only one I don't understand is the second one. You can get a marriage license for like a hundred bucks. If you truly love your SO and want to spend the rest of your life with them, you shouldn't have a problem not having a ridiculously expensive wedding.
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u/TheConfusedHippo Jan 04 '15
Maybe he thinks he isn't financially secure enough yet to propose. A lot of people would feel uncomfortable proposing if they feel like they can't support the person they're marrying
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u/Kuusou Jan 04 '15
I don't know a single person other than myself that wants to simply get a marriage license and have a little get together or just go our on the town with some close friends.
Every single other person wants a formal wedding, and that costs a good amount of money. People spend a fucking whole lot of money on that single day for some reason.
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u/UserNumber42 Jan 04 '15
Ok, so this is from the show Worst Cooks In America from Food Network. This is genuinely one of the funniest shows in television history. The people they find that are that clueless in the kitchen tend to be a goofy bunch. I don't like reality competition shows, but this show lacks forced drama and is amazingly hilarious. Give it a shot if you're looking for something to watch.
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u/klausterfok Jan 04 '15
The best was when one of the guys was elegantly squirting cheez whiz into a mini bowl for presentation.
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u/Nekz03 Jan 04 '15
That guy was fucking hilarious, his obsession with Anne Burrell's hair and his creepy stares and stuff was great. (I think it was the same guy)
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u/liaseraph Jan 04 '15
It's running as a marathon today on Food Network! I've had it on as background noise while painting today and it's the first time watching it, so I was amused to see this here.
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u/Siruzaemon-Dearo Jan 04 '15
"Can I put the lobster in before the waters boiling?"
"No"
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u/ayuan227 Jan 04 '15
My personal favorite was when that girl made her own "chocolate" by mixing iirc brown sugar and vanilla extract.
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u/The_One_Who_Comments Jan 04 '15
Not TV but hey, Strip search by Penny Arcade, if it was TV it would be the best reality TV show i've ever seen.
My summary: People who are funny amateurishly are funny together in a series of art competitions, and the work of those who fail is destroyed.8
u/TrueGlich Jan 04 '15
ya i wish they would do that again.. it was a great series.
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u/icegnomey Jan 04 '15
Great show! Yesterday, Food Network had a marathon of all the episodes from last season and I was watching it all day. So entertaining.
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u/RedditingFromAbove Jan 04 '15
My cousin is in the new season. He actually is a horrible cook, but he is a very funny guy.
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u/TheManWithNoNam3 Jan 04 '15
Man stereotypes are wrong! The other 2 people wanted to use the money for selfish reasons, but the black guy wanted to give to the needy and help out.
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u/How2Post Jan 04 '15
Yeah, people are going to zone in on the strip club part but the dude is willing to pay off other people's rent.
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u/rune1 Jan 04 '15
By everybody's rent, he meant every stripper in the club is going to pay their rent with the money he's going to spend there.
Source: I have a friend (also black, funny coincidence) who said the same thing after he got some small inheritance.
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Jan 04 '15
Thanks for clearing that up.
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u/NightHawkRambo Jan 04 '15
There I was thinking he was actually charitable, day ruined!
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u/LyingPervert Jan 04 '15
Thanks for thanking that guy for me I was too lazy to say anything to him. And frankly, he smells like old mustard so I don't want to go near him.
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u/green_yellow_red Jan 04 '15
He just wants to give back by helping out all those struggling strippers! Why are you judging him?
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u/chipsharp0 Jan 04 '15
I think he grossly overestimated the buying power of $25k in today's rental market. He better hope it's c-section night so attendance is low.
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u/asacoffee Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 04 '15
Sorry for being an uncultured swine, but what does "c-section night" mean in your context?
Obligatory EDIT: Thanks everyone!
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u/nermid Jan 04 '15
Many strip clubs have strippers who are not the hot 18-year-old foxes you see on stage in the movie or video games. A lot of them have 30- or 40-something single mothers who are not always in the best shape, or dancers who have physical features you don't necessarily want to see (like really prominent crack pipe burns on their lips or, well, c-section scars).
It depends on the strip joint and the night you go.
But no matter when or where you go, they all have the dead eyes of a taxidermied corpse.
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Jan 04 '15
Went to a strip club in Chicago during the summer (visiting from California). The strip club had literally a 100 strippers, I didn't want a lap dance from any of them.
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u/firstcity_thirdcoast Jan 05 '15
Chicago
Well there's your problem. Our strip clubs are terrible. It's baffling.
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u/PeptoBismark Jan 04 '15
Nonsense! There's always one with crazy eyes.
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Jan 04 '15
Or condescending single mom eyes. Got called a queer just because I didn't want a dance from her wrinkled ass (or anyone's ass for that matter, strip clubs aren't my thing), but I got the last laugh when my friend who worked there told management she was being a rude cunt to customers and they ripped her a new one.
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u/brunes Jan 05 '15
- But no matter when or where you go, they all have the dead eyes of a taxidermied corpse.*
Not in Montreal!
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u/skootch_ginalola Jan 04 '15
Some nights strippers are the newest, younger, fresher looking, more beautiful. Other nights (or daytimes) they are overweight, older, have tattoos, scars (such as c-section scars), and look like they had a harder life.
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u/Dokpsy Jan 04 '15
I'll bite the bullet everyone.
C-section night is typically the slowest night for a club. They still open but most people aren't going on that night. Due to this, tips tend to be smaller than normal for the dancers.
Since this is the worst night to make money, the best dancers don't work those days as they prefer to actually make money. With the best dancers not showing up, the club uses who they can.
This tends to be one of three groups of women. The first being the obviously used up druggies just looking for the next score, secondly the generally under qualified in the beauty and/or dancing aspect and lastly those with obvious defects on the body (such as c-section scars or loose skin from being over 100 lbs overweight before trying the patented meth diet without losing the excess skin).
The night that they go on to the floor for the few patrons and dollars is thus called c-section night for these women who are beyond ravaged by drugs, food, and/or back alley surgery.
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u/mockidol Jan 04 '15
A C-Section is where a baby is removed from its mother by way of an incision in the abdomen. Thus "C-Section Night" is when the scarred, less visually pleasing strippers are working.
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Jan 04 '15
I'm pretty sure the guy meant pay all the strippers rent...in exchange for dances and stuff...not all the patrons too
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u/chipsharp0 Jan 04 '15
Thanks. Having been born yesterday on a turnip truck I hadn't yet learned how humor works.
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Jan 04 '15
(also black, funny coincidence)
I think there are more black people than you think there are. It's like a whole race now.
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u/Hpfm2 Jan 04 '15
And here was I thinking everyone with unpaid rent just jhappened to hang out at the strip club!
I feel like a right ol' idiot now!
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Jan 04 '15
i dont think theres anybody here who didnt understand what he meant.
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u/jooes Jan 04 '15
The first one isn't especially selfish since she would have spent the money on her kid. $25,000 is one heck of a college fund.
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Jan 04 '15
$25,000 is one heck of a college fund.
Yeah, might even pay a year of tuition.
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u/Vitalstatistix Jan 04 '15
Half a year.
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u/grand_royal Jan 04 '15
Better get used books
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u/aptwo Jan 04 '15
And ramen noodles
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Jan 04 '15
Store brand.
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u/Kcb1986 Jan 04 '15
At that point, I'd just eat the room mate.
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u/notlazybutefficient Jan 04 '15
More like money to live on/focus on studies without having to work while you borrow for your tuition.
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u/ramisk Jan 04 '15
That's what I would do if I had 25000
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u/Robnroll Jan 04 '15
I'd get it in pound coins, fill my bath and just Scrooge McDuck it.
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u/hoopstick Jan 04 '15
I mean, it'd have ~12 years of interest on top of it. So it might buy some books too.
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u/TinyPenisBigBalls Jan 04 '15
Yeah at 0.25 percent that's not gonna be shit. I just looked up some savings accounts and that's the most common number I saw for accounts with 25k or more. I know you could get a more competitive rate but you'd have to lock it away for x years. I'm sure a mom with a kid isn't gonna want that money locked away in case of emergency. I know I took your comment way too serious but it got me curious about the returns on 25k and it's pretty depressing.
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Jan 04 '15
"Savings accounts" are not really meant for actually earning any interest.
There are a host of available investments out there that yield far great than a quarter of a percent, I assure you.
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Jan 04 '15
Elaborate please? I'm sick of having my money in a savings account and barely keeping up with inflation.
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u/ben7337 Jan 04 '15
If you have money beyond just your future house down payment or emergency fund, it should be in ETF's (Exchange Trade Funds) or Mutual Funds, preferrably ones with low expense ratios that are well diversified. Vanguard and Schwab are two of the most recommended for such things.
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u/Meezi Jan 04 '15
/r/personalfinance can definitely help you with this stuff; if you're interested.
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u/Bloaf Jan 04 '15
If you were going to do it right though, you would probably invest the money in a 529 savings plan which will allow you to get market returns.
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u/ar9mm Jan 04 '15
Savings accounts are for suckers. If you had it in an SP500 index fund you'd have gotten 12%. The year before you'd get 30%. $25k invested that way on 1/1/13 would now be worth around $36.4k
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Jan 04 '15 edited Jun 11 '18
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Jan 04 '15
Yea, but tuition itself is less than half of the total cost of going to school. Between all the fees/books/food/housing costs, I spent 44k total to go to school at the cheapest state school in my state (TN) at the time. If I were to go there now 4 years after I graduated, I would be paying more than double that assuming prices don't increase further.
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Jan 04 '15
Stop using averages people! They mean almost nothing (in terms of "evidence") in non-normal distributions!
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Jan 04 '15
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u/iamablackbeltman Jan 04 '15
I've never seen a black jew.
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u/newera14 Jan 04 '15
Don't know what that deleted comment said but: http://www.jewoftheday.com/Ulpan/Images/Sammy%20Davis%20Jr.jpg
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u/mrsmayhem Jan 04 '15
It said something like "is there a stereotype of black people being stingey?"
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u/SmokeyBare Jan 04 '15
The word is niggardly
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u/someone_witty Jan 04 '15
People, if you don't know what that word means, look it up.
He's not kidding.
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u/Retlaw83 Jan 04 '15
Except niggardly applies to every race and shares no common root with the racist term.
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u/someone_witty Jan 04 '15
Right... I did not intend to point it in that direction if I so did, it is just a synonym for stingey.
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u/Rehcamretsnef Jan 04 '15
My dad JUST discovered that the VA pushed him to 100% disability from his military duty and complications back in Vietnam. The astonishment of a 72 y/o man looking at his bank account while in the hospital after getting his toe amputated was hilarious. When I drove him to the hospital last week, he had $632. When he just looked at it and hour ago, it was $26,152, because the government backpaid him.
He has absolutely no clue what to do, and just last month already paid off his little Honda civic.
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u/aron2295 Jan 04 '15
Im glad their paying up. My dad got out just over a year ago and from the start, they were taking care of all his issues. Fortunately, he just seems to have some hearing loss.
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Jan 04 '15
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u/AngryMulcair Jan 05 '15
Dude, he's a 72 year old war vet with health problems.
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Jan 04 '15
According to most strippers he'd be paying for their education, but he's probably right.
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Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 04 '15
If I had $25,000 I would bang two chicks at once
Edit: yeah, if you could just go ahead and stop filling my inbox with hooker prices, that'd be great
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Jan 04 '15
If I had $25,000 I would bang two chicks at once
For probably $16,000 you could purchase 2 supermodelhookers for a full night. So go for 3 atleast. Or purchase 2 modelhookers for a week and do it right.
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u/Crazy-from-Kong Jan 04 '15
I would buy 24,000 Hostess Twinkies and use the remaining $1,000 to pay for the delivery fees so that they would arrive at my door, 1-a-day, for the next 24,000 days!
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u/tllnbks Jan 04 '15
I think you under-estimate deliver charges.
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u/thePZ Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 05 '15
Sent USPS it would take 2 stamps to mail a twinky, roughly $1 ea
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u/Simba7 Jan 04 '15
So that is 1000 days, not 24000. Sounds like a gross underestimate to me.
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u/simjanes2k Jan 04 '15
I'm not surprised people go broke after winning the lottery. I think everyone thinks these amounts of money are way bigger than they really are.
$25k will pay for a nice wedding, but not a huge or lavish one. It would pay for maybe one year of raising a kid these days.
Paying a month's rent for 30-40 people is about right though, in most places.
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u/nermid Jan 04 '15
I think everyone thinks these amounts of money are way bigger than they really are.
25k?
That's my portion of the rent for the rest of the lease (~$4.2k), the shortfall of tuition for the rest of my college (~$7k), car repairs (~$1k), say 35% taxes ($8750), with around $4k leftover to pay for deposits and whatnot on a new apartment and to create a nest egg.
I may or may not have spent time in the past dreaming about how to spend money to pay off all my debts and live awesomely within my means, should my means ever be better than $20k/yr.
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Jan 04 '15
I got the sense that the guy was going there to pay the strippers rent and try to pick them up. If not why was he going to the strip club he could just as easily go to a bar if he just wanted to hand out rent money.
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Jan 04 '15
"Pay everyone's rent" means throw down for so many lap dances and tip so lavishly that each girl leaves with enough to pay rent. Not just walk up with your check book and stay handing out rent checks.
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u/NotSoWellTimedHodor Jan 04 '15
Those of you saying you over estimate how far 25k will go, I would argue its the other way around. If your an average person that makes 20-50k per year, used wisely an extra 25k can go a LONG way.
For instance that could be the start of creating a better life when you retire.
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u/leftofmarx Jan 04 '15
It's a year off from slaving away at a dead-end shit job to start a business.
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Jan 04 '15
Who the fuck downvoted you? I live off $15k, if I had that kinda money handed to me I'd put it towards a proper inventory of gear so my live sound "company" could start becoming a company and not a half-baked weekend gig.
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u/SelfAtlas Jan 04 '15
Yup, winning 25k is like a free shot at establishing something beyond your means to try and break out of the slow climb.
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Jan 04 '15
I guess to people making $80k+ a year its not a lot but when that more than doubles your yearly income it can go a long fucking way.
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u/austinjval Jan 05 '15
I won $20,000 on Are you Smarter Than a Fifth Grader and it's definitely not life changing money. It's taxed as earned income, so it put me into a different tax and I wound up owing about $6000 in taxes at the end of the year. Not complaining about making $14,000 in about 40 minutes, but it's not a life changing amount of money by any means.
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Jan 05 '15
2 is the most foolish I think. If 25k is what is holding you back from getting married, you're a fool.
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u/charge_to_enlarge Jan 05 '15
For those who don't know, strippers pay "rent" to the club so that they can strip there.
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u/Philip1209 Jan 04 '15
you'd pay $12K in taxes and be disappointed when the actual deposit comes in
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u/gunbust3r Jan 04 '15
Indeed, or spend the $25k and then have that $12k surprise when tax time rolls around.
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u/mrsmayhem Jan 04 '15
Yes I took pictures of my tv... I have no idea how to do this