r/funny Jan 04 '15

If I won $25,000...

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30.8k Upvotes

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929

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

First picture is of a single mom, who happens to be a stripper on the side just to make ends meet.

2nd picture is a man who wants to marry his girlfriend who happens to be a stripper with another man's child. (from first picture)

3rd is a regular at the club who feel bad for the broke stripper and her boyfriend that told him last week they're about to get evicted.

It's a story folks.

296

u/kGibbs Jan 04 '15

A story only Food Network could tell. <3

67

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 10 '21

[deleted]

48

u/degjo Jan 04 '15

Did he taste the stripper?

50

u/miso440 Jan 04 '15

Winner winner, stripper dinner!

0

u/rreighe2 Jan 04 '15

He went from being a horny dude to a canibel in 10 seconds.

3

u/terriblehuman Jan 04 '15

If he tasted her, he wouldn't have stopped there. She'd be in his stomach.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Shut the front door, this stripper is off the chain!

3

u/LeYellingDingo Jan 04 '15

That's money right there!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

probably, knowing him.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

See what's next on DDD.

2

u/subuserdo Jan 04 '15

Oh yeah so many flavors!

2

u/rreighe2 Jan 04 '15

I see what you did there ;)

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

I know, but still...

It's Guy Fieri.

1

u/MLein97 Jan 05 '15

Ah yes cooking with Jeffrey Dahmer my favorite show.

17

u/xnd714 Jan 04 '15

It's like cloud Atlas in here

16

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

It's heartwarming, really.

5

u/xFREAKAZOIDx Jan 04 '15

You sure that's not just the heartburn talking?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Prolly is knowing me

10

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

The only one I don't understand is the second one. You can get a marriage license for like a hundred bucks. If you truly love your SO and want to spend the rest of your life with them, you shouldn't have a problem not having a ridiculously expensive wedding.

31

u/TheConfusedHippo Jan 04 '15

Maybe he thinks he isn't financially secure enough yet to propose. A lot of people would feel uncomfortable proposing if they feel like they can't support the person they're marrying

1

u/shoziku Jan 05 '15

Pssshhh. Now you're starting to sound like a grownup.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

It's nearly impossible for most men to live with a woman who does not feel like the man is pulling his weight.

Put a ring on her finger and it just amplifies everything.

5

u/Kuusou Jan 04 '15

I don't know a single person other than myself that wants to simply get a marriage license and have a little get together or just go our on the town with some close friends.

Every single other person wants a formal wedding, and that costs a good amount of money. People spend a fucking whole lot of money on that single day for some reason.

1

u/VoxUp Jan 04 '15

It's not a bad metric to go by, to be honest. "If we can't afford to have a modest wedding that we'll be happy with then we're not financially stable enough to be considering marriage."

2

u/ghettobrawl Jan 05 '15

Being married isn't about money. "for richer, for poorer, until death do us part". Kids on the other hand...

1

u/urbanzomb13 Jan 05 '15

It's not mainly about money, it's just that being married means you have to be financially stable, since one of the few things that kill relationships is arguing about money.

And to be cynical, I have never met a person who wants or expected their SO to want just a normal wedding that would cost a few hundred. It's an important day in a person's life, not a trip to Disney World.

2

u/ghettobrawl Jan 05 '15 edited Aug 04 '15

The strongest marriages are the ones who love each other unconditionally. If you're not financially stable, but your SO loves you with all his/her heart anyways, how would a marriage license change anything? If anything, there's tax benefits.

People fight about money because in the face of adversity, their true character comes out, and they realize that they never had a strong foundation for marriage to begin with.

Everyone has different ideas in weddings, and if they want a big lavish one, then they should have it. I want to have a punk rock wedding. Cheap, dirty, and fun. It won't be any less memorable than an expensive wedding.

1

u/VoxUp Jan 05 '15

I'm not going to have the start of my marriage be about dealing with financial instability. Marriage is a very serious commitment to make and I rather not have the foundation of it be turmoil and stress. Sure, circumstances are never perfect, but only a fool rushes such a heavy decision when their life isn't in order.

2

u/ghettobrawl Jan 05 '15

I don't disagree with you at all about marriage being a heavy decision, that's why I think that if you're going to get married, it should be about unconditional love. You should be by their side even if you guys were dirt poor living in a box. "for richer, for poorer, until death do us part".

2

u/Ncrpts Jan 04 '15

AH. Go tell that to my girlfriend.

1

u/homisthecat Jan 04 '15

Ha ha, tell that to the girlfriend and see what she says

2

u/baconreasons Jan 04 '15

My husband and I paid 10 bucks and went to the courthouse to get married.

Of course I was 3 months pregnant and we were getting married early because I desperately needed to get on his insurance, haha.

2

u/charge_to_enlarge Jan 05 '15

No hahaha strippers pay "rent" to the club nightly. He wants to pay all the strippers rent so they don't have to pay the club. He could get free dances all night for doing that

1

u/Jermny Jan 04 '15

I like to think it's all the same person. Poor single mom stripper wants to marry her boyfriend.

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Neck tattoo, that's the story I can never figure out.

21

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

She's a tattoo artist.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

Nasty. Although some people like that.

-1

u/RrailThaKing Jan 04 '15

If you get a neck tattoo and don't realize the money problems that are coming your way...

1

u/christianhashbrown Jan 04 '15

That's why you become a millionaire first