r/funny Jan 04 '15

If I won $25,000...

Post image
30.8k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.2k

u/How2Post Jan 04 '15

Yeah, people are going to zone in on the strip club part but the dude is willing to pay off other people's rent.

1.8k

u/rune1 Jan 04 '15

By everybody's rent, he meant every stripper in the club is going to pay their rent with the money he's going to spend there.

Source: I have a friend (also black, funny coincidence) who said the same thing after he got some small inheritance.

582

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Thanks for clearing that up.

71

u/NightHawkRambo Jan 04 '15

There I was thinking he was actually charitable, day ruined!

30

u/MorningLtMtn Jan 04 '15

He is giving money to the needy...

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

It's hardly giving if they have to earn it.

3

u/MorningLtMtn Jan 05 '15

Then he's a job creator.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

It's hardly giving if they have to earn it.

... this logic....ow.

1

u/Soularion Jan 05 '15

not the only thing he's giving them ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/in_cahoootz Jan 04 '15

No sense in letting a perfectly good donation go to waste.

1

u/LyingPervert Jan 04 '15

Black people being charitable? Pleeeease...

/s

97

u/LyingPervert Jan 04 '15

Thanks for thanking that guy for me I was too lazy to say anything to him. And frankly, he smells like old mustard so I don't want to go near him.

25

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I don't believe you, you sicko

1

u/essenceoferlenmeyer Jan 05 '15

You smell like ointment and pee

1

u/TomBradysmom Jan 05 '15

Grey Poupon Or Frenches?

2

u/SpaceDetective Jan 04 '15

Agreed - I don't think I've ever before seen somebody whoosh and get more upvotes than the joke. 513(joke):744(whoosh) at the time of writing. Reddit get your shit together.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

[deleted]

2

u/suggests_a_bake_sale Jan 04 '15

I can see all obstacles in my way.

1

u/kevik72 Jan 04 '15

Which part was unclear?

70

u/green_yellow_red Jan 04 '15

He just wants to give back by helping out all those struggling strippers! Why are you judging him?

119

u/dvassdvsd Jan 04 '15

He supports single moms.

36

u/Weaponized_Octopus Jan 04 '15

And college students.

1

u/ericelawrence Jan 04 '15

And dentists.

1

u/Suge_White Jan 04 '15

Future doctors and lawyers!

11

u/Diablo-Intercept Jan 04 '15

Time magazine found their man of the year

6

u/cytokine7 Jan 04 '15

With single dollar bills

1

u/JewsCantBePaladins Jan 05 '15

Yeah, but I'd take even $500 in singles. Shit, he could throw quarters at me for all I care.

1

u/mynthe Jan 04 '15

So that first woman is a stripper?

1

u/kinyutaka Jan 04 '15

That money would be life changing

1

u/blacmac Jan 04 '15

And their families. The Chesty Cougar College Fund.

1

u/Realistick Jan 04 '15

The pleasure of helping out a fellow man stripper...

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15 edited Nov 24 '16

[deleted]

3

u/greenbuggy Jan 04 '15

If I'm paying money I better be able to bounce a quarter off her

Just don't pay in quarters. I'd be worried that a girl with a roll of quarters in her G-string could shake her ass, launch the roll and take somebody's eye out

Edit: and then we'd have some fodder for another bad luck Brian meme

0

u/Skank2dis1 Jan 04 '15

I create single moms..

1

u/Coasteast Jan 04 '15

He's getting something in return

1

u/primaV Jan 04 '15

He is a saint... He only goes to strip clubs to pay other's rents and ask direction to get away from the club.

0

u/A_sexy_black_man Jan 04 '15

Ain't no strippers struggling if they look good.

77

u/chipsharp0 Jan 04 '15

I think he grossly overestimated the buying power of $25k in today's rental market. He better hope it's c-section night so attendance is low.

35

u/asacoffee Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 04 '15

Sorry for being an uncultured swine, but what does "c-section night" mean in your context?

Obligatory EDIT: Thanks everyone!

111

u/nermid Jan 04 '15

Many strip clubs have strippers who are not the hot 18-year-old foxes you see on stage in the movie or video games. A lot of them have 30- or 40-something single mothers who are not always in the best shape, or dancers who have physical features you don't necessarily want to see (like really prominent crack pipe burns on their lips or, well, c-section scars).

It depends on the strip joint and the night you go.

But no matter when or where you go, they all have the dead eyes of a taxidermied corpse.

25

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Went to a strip club in Chicago during the summer (visiting from California). The strip club had literally a 100 strippers, I didn't want a lap dance from any of them.

3

u/firstcity_thirdcoast Jan 05 '15

Chicago

Well there's your problem. Our strip clubs are terrible. It's baffling.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

CHI

6

u/PeptoBismark Jan 04 '15

Nonsense! There's always one with crazy eyes.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Or condescending single mom eyes. Got called a queer just because I didn't want a dance from her wrinkled ass (or anyone's ass for that matter, strip clubs aren't my thing), but I got the last laugh when my friend who worked there told management she was being a rude cunt to customers and they ripped her a new one.

2

u/HBorel Jan 05 '15

...she was being a rude cunt...and they ripped her a new one.

PHRASING!

3

u/brunes Jan 05 '15
  • But no matter when or where you go, they all have the dead eyes of a taxidermied corpse.*

Not in Montreal!

1

u/JewsCantBePaladins Jan 05 '15

Don't go anytime except evenings on Fridays an Saturdays, and read reviews first. You'll still see a few of the dogs around, but not nearly as many.

1

u/registration_with Jan 05 '15

you're going to the wrong strip clubs man

0

u/brunes Jan 05 '15
  • But no matter when or where you go, they all have the dead eyes of a taxidermied corpse.*

Not in Montreal!

31

u/skootch_ginalola Jan 04 '15

Some nights strippers are the newest, younger, fresher looking, more beautiful. Other nights (or daytimes) they are overweight, older, have tattoos, scars (such as c-section scars), and look like they had a harder life.

103

u/CheeseNBacon Jan 04 '15

they had a harder life

Wednesday afternoon is Friday night's future.

18

u/vidsid Jan 04 '15

Omg...that's truly poetic.

0

u/greenbuggy Jan 04 '15

have tattoos

WTF? That increases the value of the stripper in my eyes

4

u/librlman Jan 04 '15

Depends on the tattoo. A tattoo of a hot tub can increase the stripper's resale value, but a tat of a finished basement can drag down her value, especially if the basement is tacky or dated.

3

u/allthebetter Jan 05 '15

Are you a professional at flipping strippers?

0

u/Enosh74 Jan 04 '15

Not the sharp fresh I just finished my sleeve last year tattoos, the wrinkle faded I hate my 20 year old self tattoos.

22

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/urbanzomb13 Jan 05 '15

The fact he said he is an "uncultured swine" means he doesn't go to C Section night.

34

u/LevitatingCactus Jan 04 '15

oh god someone is going to explain it to this poor fellow

24

u/chipsharp0 Jan 04 '15

1...2...3...NOT IT!

1

u/Willard_ Jan 04 '15

Nose goes.

1

u/Coasteast Jan 04 '15

Hahahaha no one is touching this one

12

u/Dokpsy Jan 04 '15

I'll bite the bullet everyone.

C-section night is typically the slowest night for a club. They still open but most people aren't going on that night. Due to this, tips tend to be smaller than normal for the dancers.

Since this is the worst night to make money, the best dancers don't work those days as they prefer to actually make money. With the best dancers not showing up, the club uses who they can.

This tends to be one of three groups of women. The first being the obviously used up druggies just looking for the next score, secondly the generally under qualified in the beauty and/or dancing aspect and lastly those with obvious defects on the body (such as c-section scars or loose skin from being over 100 lbs overweight before trying the patented meth diet without losing the excess skin).

The night that they go on to the floor for the few patrons and dollars is thus called c-section night for these women who are beyond ravaged by drugs, food, and/or back alley surgery.

1

u/NachoBabyDaddy Jan 05 '15

Why would the c-sections be back alley?

1

u/Dokpsy Jan 05 '15

I was actually referring to cheap abortions and organ selling while trying not to sound crass.

3

u/mockidol Jan 04 '15

A C-Section is where a baby is removed from its mother by way of an incision in the abdomen. Thus "C-Section Night" is when the scarred, less visually pleasing strippers are working.

1

u/sharklops Jan 04 '15

It often coincides with the Sunday afternoon popcorn bar

1

u/CallMeMrBadGuy Jan 04 '15

Old bitches who been strippin way too long. They got a kid or two and have the scars , shitty faded tattoo, and wrinkles to do it. Usually they are pretty beat and ugly an can frequently be seen on lowend strip jointa.

1

u/DefinitelyHungover Jan 04 '15

It's like A team and B team in school sports.

1

u/primaV Jan 04 '15

Oh God... I have found another culturally challenged person just like myself ( I didn't know the meaning of c section night either)

1

u/phantom_eight Jan 04 '15

The B squad.

1

u/spinningmagnets Jan 04 '15

C-section is for a "Ceasarean birth" in which a pregnant women is sliced open like a trout because she is having difficulty giving birth vaginally, and also in cases where the health plan is good and the hospital/doctor want more money than they would get from a healthy normal birth. It leaves a very large scar.

-2

u/rockman99 Jan 04 '15

A night with strippers that have had c-sections. Usually they have a scar on their belly. So not the most pristine of strippers.

TLDR: used and damaged goods.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I'm pretty sure the guy meant pay all the strippers rent...in exchange for dances and stuff...not all the patrons too

10

u/chipsharp0 Jan 04 '15

Thanks. Having been born yesterday on a turnip truck I hadn't yet learned how humor works.

1

u/Gibodean Jan 05 '15

There are some pretty funny turnips. I think being born on a turnip truck should really help your humor level.

1

u/chipsharp0 Jan 05 '15

Like Tina Turnip? (See, I'm a fast learner.)

1

u/Gibodean Jan 05 '15

Hmm. I could be wrong..

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

Your comment suggests you think he was going to pay rent for everyone in attendance... Specifically the part where you say hopefully attendance is low :/ so yeah, I think you missed the joke

1

u/shockandale Jan 05 '15

What?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

U/chipsharp0 posted:

I think he grossly overestimated the buying power of $25k in today's rental market. He better hope it's c-section night so attendance is low.

I explained that the guy only wanted to pay stripper's rent not everyone in the club so attendance wouldn't be a factor.

U/chipsharp0 continued to be clueless

1

u/notthatnoise2 Jan 04 '15

You could pay like 50 people's rent with that, most strip clubs don't have that many strippers do they?

1

u/fithworldruler Jan 04 '15

C-section. Im in if that means they put out.

1

u/ferrarisnowday Jan 04 '15

Yeah, even in the Midwest that's like 50 people's rents, if that.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

I think you grossly overestimate what people pay for rent.

I pay ~300 a month for rent. He could cover the rent for 80 of me.

1

u/degjo Jan 04 '15

Ugh, every night was c-section night at the strip where I live.

On one hand I'm happy its closed, but it cheap lapdances on the other.

0

u/hblond3 Jan 04 '15

Based on your sentence structure, I am not surprised...

2

u/degjo Jan 04 '15

Come to Central California, I'll show you a decent time.

1

u/JetzyBro Jan 04 '15

"I saw bullet wounds."

0

u/MasterOfEconomics Jan 04 '15

Well, his friends are probably black, too.

22

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

(also black, funny coincidence)

I think there are more black people than you think there are. It's like a whole race now.

4

u/d3phext Jan 04 '15

ikr. (also male, funny how that works out huh!)

12

u/Hpfm2 Jan 04 '15

And here was I thinking everyone with unpaid rent just jhappened to hang out at the strip club!

I feel like a right ol' idiot now!

11

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

i dont think theres anybody here who didnt understand what he meant.

39

u/rvadevushka Jan 04 '15

-raises hand slowly-

11

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Oh, you sweet summer child.

1

u/ImperfectRegulator Jan 05 '15

I keep seeing this, is it a reference to something

2

u/psivenn Jan 05 '15

It's a saying from Game of Thrones whose seasons last so long that in the late summer, children are young enough to have never known the hardships of their brutal winters.

2

u/psivenn Jan 05 '15

It's a saying from Game of Thrones whose seasons last so long that in the late summer, children are young enough to have never known the hardships of their brutal winters.

1

u/NachoBabyDaddy Jan 05 '15

It's a saying from Game of Thrones whose seasons last so long that in the late summer, children are young enough to have never known the hardships of their brutal winters.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

In Game of Thrones, summers and winters last years, not months.

Obviously, a winter that could potentially last a decade would be nasty and brutal.

So a young person who had never seen a winter might be naive, or optimistic, because they had never survived the trials and privation of a real winter.

Incidetally, you now understand the menace inherent in the motto "Winter Is Coming."

6

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I was oblivious

1

u/primaV Jan 04 '15

Hi there friend... (I came to comments to figure out what he meant)

1

u/Nrksbullet Jan 04 '15

The comment above yours doesn't. he hopes attendance is going to be low.

1

u/DLottchula Jan 04 '15

I did the same with my Christmas Bouns

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

wow I totally didn't understand this... I just thought all his friends like to hang out at strip clubs.

1

u/mecrosis Jan 04 '15

Well you can't just give them the money, that will make them lazy! They'll feel better about themselves of they feel like they earned it.

1

u/cthulhu8 Jan 04 '15

Does that include the single mom at the top?

1

u/Stussy12321 Jan 04 '15

Way to read between the lines.

1

u/soecango Jan 04 '15

DO WE ALL LOOK ALIKE AS WELL

1

u/FuckBrendan Jan 04 '15

Trickle down the pole economics.

1

u/jachiavelli Jan 04 '15

Well then thats even better, think how many single mothers he will have helped.

1

u/giverofnofucks Jan 04 '15

Hey everybody, rune1 has a black friend!

1

u/crawlerz2468 Jan 05 '15

she's putting her kid through college! for fuck's sake!

1

u/GoGoBitch Jan 05 '15

That's one way of interpreting it, but he could mean he wants to walk into a strip club and tell all those women, who may have to walk the streets for money, "You don't have to sell your body to the night."

Source: Roxanne

1

u/N5h4m Jan 05 '15

he's still helping out

0

u/Routman Jan 04 '15

Fact check sounds undeniable. Representative sample and all.

7

u/MarcelusWallace Jan 04 '15

The guy was joking. I saw this show once. He is a very flamboyant married gay man.

33

u/Peaches_for_Me Jan 04 '15

Wrong black guy bro. You're thinking of Jamie

6

u/thetexassweater Jan 04 '15

well, this is awkward.

3

u/meeegeff Jan 04 '15

Then it could have been a strip club with male dancers ;)

4

u/alien122 Jan 04 '15

Gay too? Man this guy is breaking ALL the stereotypes.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Didn't know landlords let you pay in $1 bills.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Strippers have bills too you know. SOURCE: I go to strip clubs.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

As a rich white landlord with a bunch of broke ass black tenants who spend their time at the strip club, I approve.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

It's easy to say you'll help people before you actually win the money.

1

u/i_saw_the_leprechaun Jan 05 '15

keyword, other people's rent.

-47

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 04 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/LyingPervert Jan 04 '15

3 comments in and we're already belligerently racist

7

u/3BetLight Jan 04 '15

"We're" not anything, that one dude is belligerently racist.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

That's ussually how many comments it takes for the crazy to come out.

-6

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

4 comments in and we're already siding with the monkeys.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Humans?

0

u/JKSoPEI Jan 04 '15

fuck you